A/N: 'Pick The Seams Out' was so well received it got me thinking. What if Castle did actually shoot Beckett. How would that have gone down. So this, redux (if you will), was born. Thanks for reading
They stood on the edge of the bridge and saw the froth of bubbles as Tyson's body began to sink into the murky water.
Castle's eyes were locked on the spot until the last ripple disappeared and then he turned to her, stark fear still in his eyes.
She reached for him before he had a chance to move, wrapping her arms around his middle, under his jacket. She could feel the low level tremble going through him and the cold metal of the gun he still held pressed into her back as he clung to her.
"We're ok." she whispered into his hair and she felt him nod once and press his lips into her neck.
Pulling back she saw the haunted look on his face, "Hey," she said softly, her thumbs coming up to swipe the dark circles under his eyes, "Tyson's gone. You got him."
He nodded again but she wasn't sure he believed it.
"I've got to call this in." she said reluctantly, she didn't want to leave him like this.
"Yeah." he replied, and allowed his hands to fall away, the gun still clenched in his hand. He didn't even seem to notice when she took it from him, his hand still shaped like he was holding it.
Jogging slightly to her mangled car she reached through the still open driver's door and put the call into dispatch, wincing slightly at a pull in her right side. Tyson had pressed the gun into her with force and it must be bruising. Her cheek throbbed as well from where it had hit the steering wheel.
With a sigh she pulled her phone out and sent a text to Gates and the boys, knowing they wouldn't be far behind. At this rate they wouldn't be getting home until early afternoon, if they were lucky.
Castle still stood where she had left him, staring into the water. A hint of pre-dawn light could just be seen and the gash on his forehead stood out starkly.
"You ok?" she said softly, reaching a hand up to brush fringe out of the way so she could get a better look.
"I'm fine." he replied, catching her hand on the way down and holding it tightly in his.
They stood in silence until the sounds of sirens broke the quiet and then she was being pulled away to give Gates a more detailed explanation of what had happened.
Gates requested to hear from Castle next and she turned to Ryan and Esposito to fill them in as well.
Leaning against their car she raised a tired hand to brush a fall of hair behind her ear when a searing pain travelled across her right side. She let out an involuntary gasp and reached a hand over to cover it on instinct.
"You alright Beckett?" Ryan asked with concern.
She couldn't speak at first, but the pain abated and she let her hand fall down as she straightened up.
"What the hell is that?" Esposito said, shock in his voice. And then before she knew what was happening he was shoving her jacket aside and lifting her shirt.
"Wha...What are you doing?" she asked, completely taken aback by his actions.
"You've been shot!" he responded, holding her shirt away from her body so she could see the holes and the blood stain.
Everything went silent from the rush of blood into her head. She could feel Ryan crowding in and knew they were speaking but she couldn't hear right then. Cold terror swept across her as she realized what had happened.
"Stop." she said suddenly. "Stop! Just stop! And shut up!" she ordered, her tone low and dangerous and both of them listened and took a step back.
She looked around frantically and saw Castle still talking to Gates, his back to them.
"Beckett you were shot!" Ryan said incredulously
"Keep your voice down!" she barked, mind working frantically as she processed what had happened.
Twisting slightly, she raised the shirt so she could get a better look and saw that it thankfully looked to be no more than a graze. A painful graze, that may need a few stitches, but nothing life threatening.
Pulling the shirt back down, she grimaced as the fabric settled over the wound. Now that the adrenaline had worn off and she was aware of it, the area throbbed relentlessly.
"It's just a graze. It's not that bad." she insisted, her eyes cutting over to Castle to make sure he was still distracted.
"I thought Tyson didn't fire. Or did you forget to mention that part." Esposito said accusingly.
"It wasn't Tyson." she admitted
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, confusion evident.
"It wasn't Tyson." she said again "Tyson never fired his gun except when we were in the car."
"So if it wasn't Tyson, then how..." and he trailed off as the realization struck him "Oh shit."
"This will kill him." Espo stated with fervor, cutting a glance over his shoulder to Castle.
"I know that!" she said quickly, blinking back sudden tears. "Which is why this isn't getting reported. No one knows." she said forcefully, leveling both of them with hard looks.
"I won't say a word, but he's going to notice." Ryan pointed out the obvious.
"I know! But not right now, ok. He can't know right now." there was a frantic edge creeping into her voice now and she knew she had to get a handle on things. Taking a deep breath she tried to center herself before she continued. "I'll tell him, but after the last few days, and Tyson...God." she trailed off, her head dropping so her hair provided her a curtain of privacy.
Espo dropped a hand on her shoulder "I'll call Lanie and make sure she can patch you up when we get back. We'll keep Castle out of the way if we have to."
She looked up and gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Javi."
Ryan cleared his throat loudly and she looked over his shoulder to see Castle approaching them. Working quickly she got her jacket zipped up just before he got to them.
"Everything alright?" he asked, the lines around his eyes more prominent than ever.
"Yeah." she answered, "I was just giving the boys the run down."
His eyes cut over her and then he was stepping into her personal space and grabbing her hand. "What's this?" he demanded
A shot of fear went through her as she realized he had seen the blood she had forgotten to wipe away.
"I'm fine." she answered automatically, hoping he didn't hear the tremor in her voice "Must have been from when I touched your head. Speaking of which, we should get that looked at." she continued on, hoping to distract him.
"It's nothing. Gates wanted to call the bus but I told her we were fine." he seemed to have accepted her reason and guilt flared through her.
Fingers traced over her cheekbone "Unless you want to get checked out." he said softly
She had a hard time answering him at first "No." she got out before swallowing heavily "I'll take care of it later."
Pulling herself out of their little bubble she turned to Ryan, "You guys mind giving us a ride back to the 12th? I don't think my car's going to make it." she said lightly, hoping they followed her lead.
"No problem, Beckett, the guys at the garage are going to give you hell for wrecking another one." he replied and they headed for the sedan.
Castle's hand found hers as soon as they were in the backseat, and she gripped it tightly the entire ride back. If he noticed Esposito's near constant texting he didn't say anything.
The D.A and Castle's attorney were waiting when they arrived. He gave her a desperate look and she wished she could get him out of there.
"It'll be over soon." she promised, and let her hand sweep over his arm before he stepped into the empty interrogation room, his tread heavy.
As soon as the door shut she scrubbed tired hands over her face, regretting it instantly as it only made her injury hurt worse.
Esposito met her at her desk, "Lanie's waiting for you downstairs. We'll start the paperwork." he said quietly and she gave him a look of gratitude as she passed.
The M.E already had a tray of supplies ready when Kate entered the morgue.
Lanie didn't say anything at first, just gave her a hard look and pointed to the table. Kate grudgingly removed her jacket and laid down, pulling her shirt up as she did.
"What happened, Kate?" Lanie said quietly as she began inspecting the wound.
Kate winced at the stinging antiseptic. "Tyson got the drop on me. I thought I had killed him, but he had a vest on." a tear leaked out unnoticed and she wiped it away quickly "He had his gun pressed into my side and he kept...he just kept taunting Castle, telling him to get out of the car so he could watch me die." Lanie put down the gauze and squeezed her hand in support.
Kate shut her eyes tight and the scene played over and over again in her head like a movie on repeat, but she couldn't turn it off. "And then Castle was just standing there, with my piece. I pulled to the side as much as I could and he unloaded the clip into Tyson. He fell off bridge into the water. Castle saved me."
"So this isn't from Tyson, is it?" Lanie asked
Kate took a shuddering breath before responding "No. I didn't move fast enough I guess." she couldn't put the blame on him.
"Oh, Kate." the silence stretched between them "Does he know?"
Kate just shook her head "I haven't told him yet. How can I, Lanie? You know what this is going to do to him."
Lanie didn't say anything for a long moment "You have to tell him, Kate."
"I know." was all she could manage to say
She heard Lanie turn back to the tray "You need a few stitches. And you've got some bruising on your lower ribs thats going to give you some trouble." She picked up a syringe and filled it with a clear liquid. "I'm going to numb the area now, so this might sting a little."
Kate just gave her a stiff nod and kept her eyes shut, hardly feeling the needle, or the five tiny stitches Lanie put in.
When the last piece of tape was in place Lanie helped her sit up and shoved two pills in her hand and a cup of water. At Kate's look she held her hands up "It's just acetaminophen. I know you don't want anything stronger."
Kate gave her a grateful smile and dutifully took the drugs.
Lanie's phone chimed and she gave it a quick glance before turning back to Kate "That's Javi. Castle's done with the D.A."
Kate must have visibly paled because Lanie grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. "Take your man home, get him some food, and a hot shower and put him to bed, and then tell him." she advised.
Kate could only nod, before she forced herself to slide off the table and grab her jacket before making the trip back upstairs.
When the elevator doors opened she saw him sitting in his chair by her desk, shoulders slumped, head barely propped up on a hand.
Stopping by Esposito's desk she took the folder he handed her "All done boss, just need your signature."
"Thanks." knowing she wasn't going to have to spend another hour writing up the case report was a relief.
"Lanie fix you up?" Ryan said quietly, rolling backwards in his chair
"Yeah. I'll be fine." she said, signing in the required spots and handing Espo the file back.
"Tell Castle we'll be at the Old Haunt tomorrow night if he's up for it." Ryan supplied
"I will, thanks, I just...I don't know..." she trailed off, she had no idea how he was going to be tomorrow.
"It's cool." Espo added "Just take care of him."
She nodded again, not trusting her voice and gave them one last smile of gratitude before heading towards Castle.
She made sure to go around her desk the long way so he'd see her out of his peripheral vision, but he still startled when she placed a hand gently on his arm. "Hey." she said softly "You ready to go?"
For a second his eyes were full of fear, and then he blinked and it was replaced by such sadness she almost couldn't breathe.
"Sorry. I didn't hear you." he said, his voice rough. He scrubbed a hand across his tired face and then stood up. "Yeah, the car service is downstairs waiting for us."
She didn't reply, just shut her computer down and grabbed her bag. He was waiting for her by the elevator doors when she looked up.
The car was quiet and dark and she pressed into his side as soon as the door shut. He let out a heavy sigh and pulled her closer.
She could feel the rumble of his voice in his chest when he spoke "I already spoke to Mother and Alexis. I told them we'd see them tonight. I just...I couldn't go back there and..."
She raised a hand and let her fingers drift over his lips "Shhh, it's ok. I understand." In a way she was grateful the loft would be empty when they arrived and in a way it made her more anxious as it just meant she'd have to deal with his finding out that much sooner.
He held her hand in place and kissed her fingertips before enfolding her hand in his and holding it to his chest.
"He's still out there, Kate." he said suddenly, she began to protest, but he kept talking "I know you don't believe me, but he set this entire thing up. From beginning to end, he knew what we were going to do. Enacting his revenge on us was not his end game. It would have been a fun perk, but this was always supposed to be something bigger."
He said it with such conviction she didn't have the heart to argue with him, especially right then. As much as she hated to admit it, because she wanted more than anything for Tyson to be dead, the theory made some sense.
"If that's true." she began slowly "If that's true, then he's gone for now. And when he turns up again we'll do what we've always done and we stop him."
"But what about all the people he kills between now and then, Kate? How do we live with that?" he asks angrily
She turns so she can look at him, stroking a hand along his jaw, trying to sooth away the tightness she finds there. "We live with it because we don't have any other choice. If we don't then he wins anyways, you've taught me that."
His eyes fall shut and he bends his head down to meet hers. With a sigh and a hidden wince she settles on his chest, as he strokes a hand through her hair.
They arrive at his building soon enough and before she knows it they're standing in the foyer of his silent home, the reverberation of the door shutting still echoing around them.
He looks like he's almost swaying on the spot, even though she knows he'd never admit it.
She almost takes her jacket off out of habit and remembers just in time not to, but he doesn't seem to notice.
Taking him by the arm she guides him to the stools at the kitchen and pushes until he sits in one.
"How about something to eat?" she suggests, falsely bright.
"No. Not right now." is his immediate response.
"Shower?" she suggests, and comes to stand in front of him, finally noticing he hasn't had his head looked at. Blood has crusted at the hairline and it's starting to bruise.
"Come on." she says and tugs at his hands "Let me clean that up and then we'll see where we go from there."
He's resistant for a beat and then allows her to guide him into the bedroom.
If there was any evidence that the place had been thoroughly tossed by the crime scene team it had been put right. Nothing looked out of place or disturbed, and she sent a silent thanks to whomever had made this happen.
He didn't seem to notice regardless. She pulled him straight into the bathroom and made him sit on the closed toilet before tugging his jacket off.
"First aid kit?" she asked and he pointed to the cabinets under the sinks.
After grabbing something to clean the wound with and a few butterfly bandages she came back and stood between his legs.
"Hey." she said softly and tilted his head up to look at her "It'll get better. I promise."
He gave her a small smile that she was glad to see.
"This might sting a little." she told him as she had to scrub a little to get the blood off.
"Ow! Kate!" he cried out, a bit of the melodrama creeping in, and she felt herself relax a bit.
"Don't be a baby." she admonished and saw him pout.
When she wiped it with the antiseptic his hands came up to her waist and he unknowingly grabbed right where her bandage was.
Gasping in pain she twisted out of his grip and stepped to the side, trying to catch her breath.
"Kate, what is it?" he asked immediately, half standing already.
She took too long to reply and he was unzipping her jacket and pushing it out of the way before she could stop him.
"Castle, no!" she cried out, trying to get out of his arms but he's too strong and the space is too small.
"Did Tyson hurt you? Why didn't you say something?" he can see the blood stain on her shirt now. "Jesus Kate, you're bleeding!"
She's already crying, it's gotten away from her now and there's no stopping what's about to happen and she knows it.
She knows when he sees the bullet holes because he stagers back. His face white and he looks just like he did when he was hovering over her in that cemetery.
She tries to speak but nothing comes out.
"He shot you!" he blurts out, as if the words have been ripped from him. "How? When? He didn't fire. I shot him but he didn't fire, did he?" she can see the confusion in his face, can see how he's going over everything that happened in those few short minutes and trying to remember where he missed it.
She can barely find a voice "It wasn't...oh god...it wasn't Tyson." she finally manages to get out between sobs, because her heart is breaking for him and he doesn't even know yet.
His eyes are locked on hers and she knows exactly when he makes the connection, when he realizes it was him.
She can see his mouth form the word 'no', but nothing comes out. He falls backwards, crashing into the countertop and almost collapsing to the floor.
"Castle! I'm fine. I'm fine! I promise you. I am fine! I'm so sorry. I didn't get out of the way fast enough. This isn't your fault." she's on him now, her hands clutching the front of his shirt but she can tell by how grey he is that he hasn't heard a word she said.
Then he's pushing her away and turning to retch in the sink, even though nothing comes up because he hasn't eaten in so long, and all she can do is rub his back until he's done.
He slides into a heap on the floor and she follows, curling in his lap and holds his head to her chest. "I'm fine." she repeats, over and over again, hoping that at some point he hears her.
He's shaking and silent and she has no idea how to fix this.
"Kate," she finally hears, but it's so quiet and so sad she has no idea if he really spoke or not.
She pulls back enough to cup his face in her hands and force it up so she can see him. His eyes are shut tight and he refuses to open them.
"Castle. Please. Listen to me." she begs, her hands stroking everywhere she can reach; his face, his hair, his chest, as if by touch she can bring him back.
When he still won't look at her she presses he forehead to his and leans in until their noses are touching and her lips brush his when she speaks "It's just a graze. That's all. I'm fine. I promise. I'm fine."
"I...I shot you." he gets out in a gasp "How...I shot you, Kate."
Swallowing heavily she wipes tears off his cheeks with her thumbs "And I'm fine. It hurts more where Tyson shoved his gun into me. Please. Please look at me."
He finally does and she presses her mouth to his, not caring that he's not returning her kiss, just needing him to feel her.
Finally she feels his hand raise to rest on her back and then he's wrenching her towards him, his face buried in her neck. "I'm sorry." he's mumbling over and over again and all she can do is shush him and tell him she's fine.
She doesn't move until he pulls back, and he looks broken.
"Oh, Castle." she breathes out
He puts his hands on her shoulders and half lifts, half pushes her until she's perched on the side of the tub. He slides her jacket off and then fingers her shirt where the bullet went through before he carefully works both sleeves off and slips it over her head.
The bandage Lanie has applied is large enough to cover the wound and most of the bruising from Tyson's gun, but she doesn't stop him as he slowly peels the tape back. When he can see the neat row of stitches and the angry red burn from the the bullet's path he lowers his head so it rests on her lap.
Her hands come up automatically and stroke through his hair. She doesn't know how long they sit like that. When she shivers from the cool air he sits up and looks at her.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I'm so, so sorry."
"I know." she says softly, her thumb following the line of his lower lip "You saved me Castle, don't forget that." and when he starts to protest she silences him with a kiss. "You saved me, in every possible way."
He doesn't reply, but gets to his feet and pulls her up after him "Come on."
When they get to the bed he kneels to unzip her boots and pants and tapes the bandage back in place, resting his head against her stomach for one long moment.
"Don't you want to get a shower?" she asks after she's left standing in front of him in nothing but her underwear.
"Not now." he answers. She helps him with the buttons of his shirt and pushes his pants off his hips before they crawl into bed.
When he's wrapped around her as close as possible she hears him, quiet, like a little boy "Tell me it'll get better."
"It will." she assures him.
"I love you. So much." he breathes into her hair, pulling her in that much tighter.
She doesn't think when she responds, she just says what she's feeling "I love you."
He doesn't reply, but she feels a whoosh of air leave his lungs and some of the tension ease out of his arms.
She tries to fight sleep in case he needs her, but she hasn't slept properly in days and it's caught up with her.
"Sleep." he whispers, and his voice sounds stronger.
She drifts off content with the knowledge that they would survive this, and if Tyson did come back, they would survive that too.