13 Things I Hate About You

One Shots

This is based off of the movie '10 Things I Hate About You'- which I don't own.

R&R

13 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, SCORPIUS MALFOY

By Rose Weasley.

13. You are so stereotypically a Malfoy. Trust me, I've seen photographs of your family. Grey eyes, pale skin, equally as pale blonde hair, that stupid bloody smirk, and pointed chin? You're a Malfoy through and through. Wealthy, narcissistic, and arrogant. And guess what? Weasleys always have hated Malfoys.n

12. Despite your often blank facial expressions, you're quite intelligent. When my father had told me to beat you in every test, I didn't expect you to put up a fight to prevent me from doing so. Cut it out, Malfoy, or I shall be much to happy to hex you to hell and back.

11. You're far too tall. You must at least be over six foot, and I might add that you're also much too thin. Eat some bloody desserts, before I'm forced to feed you. Coming from an average sized person, who eats way too many desserts anyway, you either need to shrink.. Or, um, shrink!

10. Must you constantly mock my ginger hair and freckles and call me 'Weasley'? You've been doing it the past six years, I know I'm a Weasley and well aware of my hair colour, thanks. It's tedious now. You'd be a rubbish comedian if you we're on my grandparents' muggle Pellyvision- or whatever you call it! You're not even funny. No points for you, Malfoy!

9. You are bloody awful at Care of Magical Creatures. I mean, seriously, who saunters up to a Hippogriff without bowing? Oh, wait! You and your father. (I asked my mother about her Hippogriff experiences, I wasn't stalking your family history, don't get ahead of yourself). At least some reading up on creatures before you attend the class.

8. 'Flirtatious' should be your middle name, not Hyperion! You are such a flirt, it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. You flirt with anyone and everyone, and you even enjoy it! I pity your future girlfriend, because to be brutally honest, you're a man-whore.

7. Your name is much too long, too. No one can ever shorten it unless you include those Slytherin girls who fawn over you, and call you 'Corey'- which I point blank refuse to do! You're either Scorpius or Malfoy, not 'Corey'. Please tell them to stop, or I will. Mark my words.

6. You argue way too much. Usually with me. But, mother of Merlin, you could start an argument with yourself! Usually I would respect and applaud you for your argumentative side, but it's you, so I can't. Contain this side of you in future.

5. If you don't stop smirking at me, I'm going to land myself in a cell in Azkaban. Stop it, it's distracting, and I'm sick of thinking you know something I don't.

4. You use your charm to get you out of anything, and your unnatural good looks. You have everyone wrapped around your finger- including most of the professors. Seemingly they deem you worthy of their affections. I feel sorry for them, for not being immune to your charm.

3. You smell nice- like cinnamon and the woods. It's pleasant, this coming from a girl who has never cared much for cinnamon. Although I wish you didn't smell so good, it's wasted on an arse like you. You have everything already; the Quidditch skills, the good looks, and the intelligence. And then you have a desirable aroma too?

2. You have grey eyes. Did I ever mention that I have a giant and shameful weakness for grey eyes? It's my favourite colour and has been since I was young. It's cruel for you hot have such beautiful eyes.

1. All of my reasons above are perfectly reasonable, and, of course, extremely valid. But there's one reason that is much more important that the others for why I hate you. And it's this:

I don't hate you at all. And it kills me to say it. I've tried so hard to hate you for six bloody years. But I don't. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.