A/N: sorry if this is confusing and sorry it took so long. I hope you enjoy! :)

Dear Merlin,

It warms my heart to know that you still remember me fondly but it is because of this that it also breaks. It was never I that made the rivers flow or the trees dance, it was always you.

You are like the Knights of Camelot. You are fair and just, you do what you are asked with little question and you are brave. I know that no one may ever thank you for the role you play in their lives and I realised I never said it often enough in our few moments together, but thank you Merlin. You truly made my life magical.

My life has always been full of 'what ifs?', and I would be lying if I did not say you are the biggest 'what if?' that life has ever poised, but that is all you must ever be, for you have your destiny and I have mine. While our paths may not be entwined, I am glad they have crossed because you give me hope that our people may one day be free. But if you are to succeed in this than I must return to you your heart and soul, for they are too great for me to bear and are what make you whole. But I promise I shall always remember you, if you promise to do the same.

However, you do not need me to tell you this for your life is full of great people who can tell you personally. You do not need me, you never have, and one day you shall realise that. Perhaps this is that day, now you have found my letter after all these years.

I beg of you not to hate me, or look for me, but to forgive me. I did not wish to make your heart bear any more pain with hope returning only to disappear once more. I only wished to make you happy and keep your soul in-time with peace. I did what I did out of love, and if you are finally reading this Merlin, be brave for me, keep Arthur safe and fulfil your destiny. If you succeed, then maybe we shall meet once more.

Until fate shows us the way,

Love Freya.