Chapter 71

The apartment was quiet, too quiet with just him there. Even though he had seen her body, buried her, said goodbye, Xander still half expected to hear Anya pottering about in the kitchen or singing along to the radio. He still expected her to walk into the room.

It was devastating to know that wasn't going to happen, not now, not ever again.

He wandered aimlessly from room to room noticing only the photographs out on display that held pictures of him and Anya, of Buffy, of Giles; all stark reminders of a life he had lost, a life that had been shattered and these still splotches of life were the remaining jagged pieces of a once happy jigsaw puzzle. They had all fit together one way or another as different as they were and now it was over, washed away like a message in the sand.

Finally Xander came to the bedroom, he stood frozen in the doorway the first thing he noticed was Anya's scent. Her perfume was strongest here in the room where she applied it and he ached unbearably.

Crossing the room Xander sat at the vanity, his reflection stared back at him from a large oval mirror. He was shocked to see that he looked just the same. There was no huge difference to his face at all. Xander hadn't looked at himself in days but he had rather assumed that suffering such loss in so short a space of time would at least show on his face; but it didn't.

Ignoring his on reflection Xander busied himself looking through Anya's things. His fingers touched lightly to the bristles of her hair brush, long strands of honey blonde hair twisted around them. He uncapped a tube of lipstick turning the bottom until the greasy red stick emerged from its tube. It looked garish, but on Anya it had seemed alright. He had liked it on her.

Her jewellery box sat to his left, she didn't have much in the way of jewellery just a few bits and pieces. Xander caressed the smooth faux diamonds of a necklace, traced the shape of a circular bangle and lifted out the earrings, delicate pearl droplets that looked so small sat in his palm and yet they had pleased Anya. She had liked them in spite of their small size.

Replacing the jewellery carefully he took up a bottle of body lotion. Opening it he took a deep sniff; coconut and vanilla, her favourite. Anya said it reminded her of exotic places filled with hot days and hotter nights; they had planned on going to one of those places someday. Someday would never come now.

Tears pricked his eyes as he upended the bottle and squeezed a small amount of the white liquid into his palm, rubbing his hands together once Xander trailed them up the opposite arm spreading the lotion along his skin; the scent of Anya.

She had been killed, his beloved; ruthlessly struck down by Angelus and now both Angelus and Angel were dead, gone for good at the hand of a friend. Xander was glad. He didn't feel guilty about that after all, the world still had Spike. Spike was a champion now and he would protect the world because Willow was in the world and Spike loved Willow.

Xander's made a face at the idea of his best friend with Spike. He wasn't sure he would ever really get used to it even if he lived to be a hundred.

Spike, slayer of slayers, the big bad, the evil undead; a champion.

Xander couldn't help chuckling at that thought. All Spike had done since he had been implanted with the chip was go on and on about how evil he was and how pathetic Angel was and now he was a champion himself.

He wondered what Buffy and Giles would make of this twist of fate. Buffy would probably be too busy mourning Angel to worry about Spike, but Giles was bound to find it as fascinating as Wesley did. Watchers, anything out of the ordinary fascinated them, Xander smiled.

Thoughts of Buffy and Giles were too much for him to handle right now and Xander deliberately clamped down on them. He'd deal with Giles tomorrow. He had already phoned in an anonymous tip off to the police and tomorrow he would go and identify Giles body, then the preparations for the final goodbye could get underway.

He wondered if Giles and Anya were with Buffy right now. Were the three of them watching over their friends? He liked to think so, they wouldn't abandon the rest of them just because they were gone. Not Buffy, Giles and Anya.

Losing the people he cared about didn't get easier, it had hurt when Jessie died and it continued to hurt when each of his friends had died too. But he still had Willow, she was safe now thanks to Spike.

Xander gave a soft groan, he didn't just have Willow, where Willow went Spike would follow; he had Spike now too.

A life with Spike stuck in the middle of it, Xander made another face. "I must have done something really bad in a previous life," he said to the picture of Anya that sat on his right. He heaved a dramatic sigh, "Spike!"

XxX

It had been most inconvenient having the demon population being especially quiet when she was just itching for a fight with anything evil and deadly. Faith had found herself sitting and waiting in the cemetery near a recent grave just willing the dirt to shift and a vampire to rise.

She hadn't been in luck where the grave was concerned but two vampires had eventually run across her. The one had taken one look at her and promptly fled in the other direction, the other had decided to stick around and try his luck. Faith was down with that, she had a lot of rage to let out.

And let it out she did. The vampire wasn't particularly skilled at fighting, Faith couldn't tell by his floppy red hair, pale blue shirt and jeans just how old he was, but he definitely wasn't the greatest opponent she'd ever had. In fact, she could have killed him five times over within the first two minutes, but she didn't. If she ended his miserable existence she was stuck on her own again with her own thoughts, with her own grief and Faith felt she would rather take on an army of vamps than deal with herself right now.

So she fought, backing off slightly when it looked as though she would have to stake him. An upper cut to the chin forced his head back and he cut his bottom lip on his fangs. He cursed quietly and spat blood wiping his hand across his lip. He took her by surprise with a side kick and Faith went flying backwards over a head stone. She landed on her back in the grass with a grunt.

The vampire came at her , jumping over the head stone his hair a wild mess and Faith rolled to the right to avoid him landing squarely on her chest. She scrambled to her feet and swung at him, catching him with her right fist on the side of the fact and sending him staggering sideward. She advanced on him, her foot coming out, catching him in the middle and he doubled over, swaying slightly on the spot. Grasping his arm she twisted it round and with a heave she hauled him over her shoulder flipping him clean on to his back. He lay there blinking owlishly up at her through yellow eyes.

Faith was on him before he could move, pinning him to the floor, her fist driving back as she pummelled him with all the force she could muster before something flashed in the back of her mind telling her she shouldn't be behaving this way. Wesley wouldn't approve. Angel would be disappointed.

She blinked through a film of rage filled grief, her top lip curling slightly at the mess on the vampire's face, his nose was broken, there was a gash over his eye that was bleeding profusely and blood dribbled continuously from his mouth.

Shaking, Faith reached for her stake and drove it home blindly, she had to act on instinct, she simply couldn't focus on the finality of his death, it was just too raw for her.

The vampire exploded into dust and Faith found that she was kneeling on the grass her body shaking with harsh sobs that she didn't remember starting and couldn't find a way to stop.

She was crying so hard that she finally vomited, her stomach clenching and cramping, bile burning the back of her throat and her nose and her eyes completely blinded with tears.

Finally spent Faith flopped onto her back staring up at the sky, the stench of her own vomit in her nose and a bitter taste in her mouth. She didn't have the energy to move. What was there to move for anyway?

There was so much pain, so much heartache in the world, what difference would she really make to the grand scheme of things? She could just stay where she was and wait for another vampire or a demon to latch on to her anguish and despair and come and get her; finish her off.

But Faith was strong and her body stirred feebly in response to that traitorous thought. She was a fighter, a survivor and it simply wasn't in her to just give up, curl into a ball and die.

Taking a deep breath Faith pushed herself to her feet and wandered back down the path towards the entrance gates. Her body felt tired but her mind wouldn't stop whirring. Unfortunately it kept generating thoughts and memories of Angel that just exhausted her even more until she was dragging her feet as she made her way out of the cemetery and down the road.

How could Angel be dead? How could Gunn have done that? How could this be happening? What did she do now? There were so many questions and not enough answers to go around.

Running her hand through her hair Faith stopped a small frown on her face. She knew what she had to do, she was the slayer the one girl in all the world who could stand against the vampires. She would do what she was born to do, she would do what Buffy had done before her and she would do what Angel would expect her to do; she would be the slayer.

But, she couldn't do it alone and Faith knew it. She had never done it alone, always Angel had been behind her when she needed him in all his silent brooding glory.

Suddenly Faith found that she was running, her arms pumping at her sides, her legs eating up the side walk, her dark hair flying over her shoulder as her breath burnt in her lungs.

She burst into the Crawford street house and shot straight to the study where she knew Wesley would be; it was highly unlikely he would be anywhere else. Somehow Wesley always looked much more comfortable surrounded by books.

He was sitting behind the desk when she came through the door like a whirl wind. "Wes!"

"Whatever's the matter, Faith?"

"I thought you might have gone," she said, resting her hands on the desk as she leant forward to catch her breath.

"Gone? Gone where?"

That was the big question, wasn't it? What was left for him now that Angel was gone, Cordy and Fred dead and Gunn returned to his old life. He had nothing left for him in L.A. He had been sitting in the gathering darkness busily feeling sorry for himself and trying to convince himself that the life of a rogue demon hunter wasn't that bad. It hadn't been as bad as he remembered. The solitude had been nice, it hadn't been lonely.

The ever decreasing line of brandy in the decanter told him that he was still far from convincing himself of any of those things.

"I don't know," Faith panted a little. "Just gone."

"Well I'm not, I'm here. What's the matter? Has something happened?" Wesley sighed inwardly, what did it say about him that he rather hoped another crises had risen its ugly head and he would be needed in Sunnydale even if it was just for a short time.

"I don't want you to go."

Wesley blinked, startled. "What?"

"I want you to stay."

"Here?" He made a weak gesture around the room.

Faith shrugged. "Where ever you want, so long as its in Sunnydale. I want you to be my watcher, Wes."

"You do?" Wesley stood up his eyes widening behind his glasses. "You want me? You want me to stay and help?"

Faith's eyebrows quirked. "If you're gonna stick around, Wes, you gotta be quicker on the uptake than this."

"Well yes. No. I mean I know, but…. I didn't realise. What I mean is…"

"Is…?" she prompted when he failed to continue.

"Well, yes, if you think you could use me."

"Of course I could use you," Faith said letting out a breath of relief. "What's a slayer without a watcher, and whose a better watcher than you, Wes? I need someone to keep me out of trouble, who better than the one man who knows just when I'm about to go off the deep end?"

"You won't go off the deep end again," Wesley promised. "Things have changed now. You're in control of yourself." He eyed her for a moment. "You ran all the way here, didn't you?"

She nodded once. "What does that have to do with it?"

"It's the first time since I've known you that you've run towards something rather than away from something."

Faith fidgeted under his gaze, he was looking at her so intently, a proud little smile on his face and something fluttered inside her that she was the cause of it; that she had finally done something right and made Wesley Wyndham Price of all the people in the world proud of her. It felt good. It felt right that her watcher should be proud and Wesley was her watcher, he would always be her watcher. It sucked, Faith thought, that she had forgotten that for a while once before. But she wouldn't forget again.

"So you'll stay?"

"Yes," he nodded and turned away from her.

Faith rolled her eyes and sighed. "Are you crying?"

"No. No of course not. I've just… I've got something in my eye that's all."

"Uh huh," she grinned as she watched him dab beneath his glasses.

He was one of a kind her watcher.

XxXx

"Soul love?" Spike stared stupidly at Drusilla. "What the hell is that? I've never heard of it."

Drusilla stopped swinging and stood up her fingers tracing the cool metal of the chain. 'You're a demon you have no soul, there's no reason why you would know about it.'

Spike supposed that made some sort of sense. As a human he had never given much thought to a soul. Raised in a religious household, as households were back in his day, and going to church every week in his Sunday best he had sat through a service or two in which the priest spoke of souls and everlasting mortality; the mortality being in heaven and the soul already belonging to God. "Soul" had only ever been a word to him, one that he heard only in church and never thought about until he rose again and was told he didn't have one. It hadn't bothered him, why would it, he was evil now. Spike hadn't give soul's any thought at all until he and Dru had then arrived in Sunnydale to discover that Angelus, or more to the point, Angel, now had one.

Since that discovery Spike had figured that souls were much more trouble than they were worth. Angelus had told him about the constant pain and misery, the guilt and the aguish that came with the soul he had trapped in his body and Spike most certainly didn't want one for himself. He had however in his dealings with Angelus and Angel over the years, the demon and the soul, managed to gain a pretty good insight to what a soul really was and what it truly meant.

He had of course heard of soul mates, hell, he had believed that Cecily was his soul mate. When he had turned and been without a soul he had believed that Dru was his destiny, just another way of saying soul mate really. Wasn't one the same as the other?

Spike, as much as he had loved Dru and Cecily before her, had a little more common sense than that hopeless romantic that was William. Soul mate he had thought, especially since losing his soul, was simply a romantic notion, a way of telling another person that you loved them more than anything else. Since he didn't have a soul he could hardly call Dru his soul mate, hence the term destiny.

And now Dru was standing there telling him that he did actually have a soul mate and he'd had one all along.

"You're tellin' me that we're soul mates?" Spike simply had to ask the question outright. He didn't think he'd believe it if he didn't actually hear her saying the words.

"Of course, what else would you be?" Drusilla spoke as though it were completely obvious and Spike was an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

"But how is that possible?" Willow rubbed her forehead with the side of her hand. "I mean, we were born centuries apart. If Spike had never become a vampire then we would never have met."

Drusilla titled her head and looked at Willow out of the corner of her eye. "When two souls are one nothing can stop them coming together."

Spike considered for a few minutes. "When you said the stars brought you and me together, it was so that I could eventually meet Willow."

Drusilla nodded, curling her hand around the metal pole of the stand she swung herself around until she was leaning forward, her eyes on Spike. "That's right."

"I still don't understand how we can be soul mates when Spike doesn't have a soul," Willow was doing her best to understand and she had a nagging feeling that Drusilla found her to be particularly dense. It wasn't a nice feeling considering she was used to being the smart one.

"Your soul recognises his essence," she sighed heavily. "You know he's the one."

Spike shot a sneaky look at her out of the corner of his eye. He was very interested to see how she would react to that statement. Him being the one.

"I just don't understand how I can know that now without actually knowing before," Willow complained. "I mean, why didn't something just trigger in me the moment I saw him in the alleyway outside The Bronze all those years ago?"

"It probably did but you didn't recognise it for what it was," Drusilla said simply. "Why do you think he was there in the first place?"

"To see the slayer," Spike said immediately. He frowned a look of uncertainly crossing his face. "Wasn't I?"

Drusilla smiled slyly. "The stars play their games," she said again.

"They were drawing us together," Willow said quietly. "The stars, the PTB's, the universe or whatever you want to call it."

Drusilla merely nodded and looked up at the night sky, the stars tiny silver pin pricks on a bed of silk; so beautiful, so full of secrets.

"L.A." Willow whispered more to herself than to Spike.

"What was that, love?"

Willow's cheeks pinked. "That explains what happened in L.A."

"Your reactions?" Although Spike knew what she was talking about, he just liked to see the blood bloom in her cheeks.

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth Willow nodded, her cheeks darkening all the more and her head bowing when she noticed that Drusilla was watching her, the curious look leaving her face and a knowing gleam entering her eyes.

"None of that, love," Spike went to stand next to her. Sliding an arm about her waist and cupping her chin with his other hand he lifted her face to his. Resting his palm to her cheek, luxuriating in the warmth, he couldn't help the smirk that curled his lips. "Nothin' to be ashamed of between you and me, pet."

"No," she agreed quietly, her arms looping about his waist. "Spike, it… well, it explains so much, doesn't it?"

"That it does, love." He turned suddenly and glared balefully at Drusilla. "You could have said somethin' Dru."

"Not my secrets to tell," she replied primly.

"Drusilla," Willow began thoughtfully. "If two souls are one like you said, if I have my soul…"

Drusilla nodded slowly. "He was part of it and yet he was all of it."

Willow's eyes widened and her hand went to her mouth as she gaped at Drusilla in complete shock. "I… I have…"

Drusilla nodded again. "Fates entwined, two souls as one. Nothing comes between them."

Spike looked from one to the other. Drusilla looked pleased and Willow looked like she was about to collapse. Willow took precedent. "Willow? What is it? You alright, love?"

"That's why I connect to you when I need a boost for my magic," she whispered her eyes going to Drusilla for confirmation.

"Drawn together from the beginning," Drusilla hummed softly and twirled her hair around her finger.

"If it wasn't for the witch hunter Spike wouldn't have got hurt and I wouldn't have done the spell."

"Love?" Spike prompted with a small poke in her ribs.

"Your soul, Spike," Willow said softly. "It's inside me."

Spike stared stupidly at her. "It's what now?"

"Mated together," Drusilla said her voice lilting and swaying as her body moved to music only she could hear.

"That's probably the reason the bond became so strong, your soul, a part of you was already inside me when I did the spell and because you're stronger than me just like Wesley said, when I was latching on to your emotions your soul did a sort of take over thing in my body."

Cupping her face in his hands Spike examined her carefully, intense eyes searching for something, a sign, anything that told him that he was looking at his soul; but he saw nothing except Willow. "Are you alright?" he asked at last. "Does it hurt you?"

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. "No of course not. Spike, I haven't just acquired your soul, it's always been there I just didn't know about it. Like a little hitchhiker," she added thoughtfully and he grinned at her.

"You um," Spike cleared his throat. "You want me to 'ave it back?"

"It's just fine where it is," Willow said softly. "But if you ever decide you want it back then we'll figure something out."

Closing the distanced between them Spike's mouth settled over hers. Willow's eyes drifted shut her lips parting as she sighed contentedly into the kiss. Her arms slid up his back holding tightly to him, pressing herself into him, revelling in the feelings only Spike could bring out in her.

It all made much more sense to her now. Willow finally understood her violent reactions to him. She understood her addiction to him. She understood everything; Spike was her soul mate, her love, he was the one.

"I love you, Spike. I love you so much," she whispered and felt him smile against her lips.

"Love you too, Willow."

A new thought suddenly struck Willow and she figured that if anyone would know the answer it would be Drusilla. She turned towards the swings, "Drusilla, if… Drusilla?" The swings were empty, she peered around the park but couldn't see her anywhere. "Drusilla?"

"She's gone, love," Spike said, running his fingers absently through her hair.

"But… but I wanted to ask her something else. She can't have gone far, lets find her, Spike."

Spike shook his head. "She's told you all she's goin' to, pet. Whatever else you wanna talk to her about its pointless, she won't give you the answers even if she knows 'em."

Willow pouted. "That's not fair."

"She doesn't care," he said amiably. "Dru does what the stars tell her and that's that."

She huffed with annoyance. "I guess there's no point in hanging around here any longer. Let's go back, Spike."

Taking her hand Spike started walking to the entrance of the park, pleased when she pulled her hand free to curl her arm about his waist and press into his side. He loved her so much and Angelus had been wrong, he did have a destiny and it was Willow.

They took their time going back, no need to rush. The streets were quiet which afforded them the rare treat of just being with each other and Spike basked in the luxury of a moonlit stroll with his girl without any demonic interruptions. It was normal, it felt good and he liked it.

The house was quiet when they got there, the living room was in darkness and Spike could tell both Glinda and Niblet weren't in there any longer. He could hear four heart beats in the house and he could hear Faith and Percy chatting just down the hall and drew the natural conclusion that they had snagged a room each. Really, there was nowhere else they could go, he had the feeling that neither of them would be anxious to return to Giles apartment.

"Hold on a minute, pet," Spike gave Willow's hand a tug and she paused on the bottom step.

"What is it?"

"I want to speak to Percy."

"But…" she gestured with her free hand towards the top of the stairs. "Bed."

His lips curled into that half smile half smirk that turned her knees weak. "Want your wicked way with the big bad do you, love? Just give me a few minutes to talk to the watcher and then I'll be your willing slave."

Willow sucked in a small breath her eyes sparkling with unhidden desire. "What… um, what do you want to see Wesley about?"

"He said something back in L.A. and I've never got 'round to askin' him about it what with one thing and another."

Curiously, Willow followed him down the hallway. She had no idea what he was talking about, she wondered what could possibly have been playing on Spike's mind this long that he hadn't so much as mentioned to her.

The door to the study was slightly ajar as they came abreast of it and Willow paused bringing Spike to a halt as well. She wasn't sure they should go into the room, she could hear Faith talking to Wesley her voice harsh and strained, tears clogging her throat.

"I could have killed him easily," Faith said, recounting her grapple with the vampire earlier in the night. "But I didn't, I just kept dragging it out so that I had an excuse to keep fighting. Then when I did finally drive a stake through his heart I threw up, Wes and I couldn't stop crying. How can I be the slayer when if I cry every time I stake a vamp?" She sighed exasperated.

Wesley smiled softly. "It's not dusting the vampire that upset you, Faith, it was the fact that only an hour ago you saw Angel dying in the exact same way. I know your relationship with Angel was complicated. I know there was something between you that you didn't get to explore and discuss and that's what's affecting you."

Faith rolled her shoulders. "How can he be dead, Wes? I was only with him minutes before Gunn staked him." Reaching up she touched her fingers lightly to the bite mark on her neck. "He had been drinking from me, Wes, we…" she trailed off and blinked back tears. "There was so much left to say. We weren't finished."

Wesley reached out and patted her knee gently. "There's never enough time to say everything that we want to say to the people we love, Faith. People are taken from us too soon, just look at Anya and Xander, and Buffy of course, two young women gone before their time," Wesley sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We don't always get what we want. We lose what we have. It's cruel and unfair but that's the way the world is, Faith we don't get the glamorous, perfect Hollywood movie ending."

"I hate it," she muttered darkly.

"And that's why you rebelled against it," Wesley said quietly. She looked startled and Wesley smiled and shook his head. "I'm not judging or anything, I'm just saying that's all. After everything you'd done and been through you had Angel, the light at the end of the tunnel in a way and now he's gone. I can understand how that can be… jarring, shall we say? Hurtful, frightening even. But you're strong Faith, you'll deal with this and get through it as you have everything else that life has thrown at you over the years. And," he added with a smile, "I'll be here to help you. I'll be a better watcher this time."

"You weren't a bad watcher before," she said generously.

Wesley rolled his eyes. "I was a bloody idiot and we both know it."

Outside the door Willow tried to back away feeling like an intruder. This was not a conversation she and Spike were a part of or meant to hear. But Spike refused to budge.

"Spike," she hissed crossly.

"I have somethin' I want to ask. She can talk to Percy later," he leant in close so that his lips brushed her ear. "When we're in bed, making love."

A shiver ran down her spine and she gasped quietly. How could she argue with that? She allowed Spike to push open the door and followed him when he strode into the room. "Need a quick word, Percy."

"Wesley," Wesley replied automatically. "What is it, Spike? Can't it wait?"

"No it can't. Got some news for you an' I've got somethin' to ask that's been buggin' me since L.A."

"L.A.?" Wesley looked surprised.

"I'll get to it," Spike said taking a seat. He pulled Willow closer guiding her down onto his lap pleased when she allowed it and settled in against him.

Faith and Wesley were sitting opposite each other in wing backed chairs. They exchanged looks both curious and confused.

"Spit it out then, Spike," Faith said sitting back in the chair linking her hands behind her head.

"Chip's fried," Spike said abruptly.

"How did that happen?" Wesley sat forward a little way his eyes locking onto Spike's head.

Spike was surprised with Wesley's reaction. He had been expecting anger, annoyance, fright even, but not interest. "Met up with a friend of yours tonight, Gwen."

Wesley started his eyes widening behind his glasses. "Gwen was here?"

"Yeah."

His eyes narrowed instantly. "I struggle to believe that it was merely a coincidence that you decided to take a walk through the streets of Sunnydale and happened to stumble across her."

"She came with Drusilla," Willow said. "They came to deactivate the chip."

"Drusilla was here too?" Wesley shook his head in disbelief.

"Did it hurt?" Faith asked her lips pursing.

"Yeah," Spike admitted. "Worth it though."

"I should imagine it was," Wesley replied. "Is she still here?"

"No, they've both gone." Willow bit her lip. "There's more, Wesley. Drusilla explained everything to us tonight, things make sense now."

"Oh?" he exchanged another look with Faith. "What did she have to say?"

Spike remained silent and let Willow tell the story. It gave him the opportunity to watch her, to see her face as she told the others the truth about them. His heart swelled and Spike buried his face in her hair when she got to the part about him being the one, her voice turned softer, a light shone in her eyes that was because of him, for him and him alone; Spike could still hardly believe it.

"Soul mates?" Faith let out a low whistle.

"His soul inside you, attached to yours? That really is a unique situation, Willow. Is Drusilla sure?" Wesley asked astounded.

"Dru's never wrong," Spike said firmly.

"Oh, yes, of course. I didn't mean to insinuate…"

Spike waved a hand dismissively. "Forget it, Percy. Now that you know our secret, you mind tellin' me …."

"Well!" Wesley exclaimed. "It makes a little more sense to me now. Yes, yes it makes perfect sense."

Faith rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "You wanna explain to the rest of us, Wes? In English."

"Yes, yes of course," Wesley was on his feet now excitement zinging through his body. "I couldn't make sense of it you see, why Spike would be a champion and yet not feel that he wanted to save the world, fight the good fight like Angel. Angel was trying to make amends for all the evil he had caused as Angelus, he was cursed with a soul and he truly felt the burden of it each and every day. Spike, you don't have a soul, we now know it's part of Willow and that's the whole point. I was looking at it wrong."

Faith rubbed a hand across her forehead. "I know you think that you're explaining things, Wes, but you're really not."

"I hadn't made my point yet," Wesley said huffily. "I assumed, as did we all, that Spike was a champion..."

"He is," Willow said, quick to jump to Spike's defence.

"Well yes," Wesley agreed. "But he's not simply a champion the way Angel was. He's you're champion, Willow. Drusilla said so and it explains so much. Spike isn't here to protect the world, he's here to protect you. You named him as your champion because of the soul."

Wesley gave a little chuckle. "No wonder I didn't see it straight off, I really was looking at it all wrong. It's the absence of his soul that made Spike a champion in the first place. Everything he's done, even though he didn't know it at the time, was because he loved you, Willow, because you're soul mates. Love, it's what's driven you Spike, love for Willow even without your soul, and it's the absence of your soul that makes you so strong. There are things Angel and the rest of us wouldn't do because we have humanity and compassion; a soul has its limits, Spike but you don't have one, there's nothing in the world you won't do for Willow, no lengths that are too extreme for you to go to in order to keep her safe; and that's what makes you a true champion. You're driven by the greatest power of all."

"Love," Willow whispered. She gazed at Spike in amazement. "A true champion."

"Anyone can do the right thing when they have a soul and compassion on their side," Wesley pointed out. "It takes someone truly remarkable to do the same things without a soul. That's what makes a true champion."

"So, the big bad's a true champion, huh?" Faith grinned at him. "Bet you didn't see that one coming."

"No," Spike said shortly. "Can't say that I did."

Willow beamed and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Just wait until I tell Xander about this. He'll simply have to be nicer to you from now on."

"Yeah," Spike agreed dryly. "That's the best part about this whole thing."

Willow grinned and kissed him lightly. "Tara was right about you."

Spike eyed her inquiringly. "And just what did the Good With of the North 'ave to say 'bout yours truly?"

Her fingers played in his hair a wash of pink creeping into her cheeks. "She said that you were something very special."

"Glinda said that?" Spike couldn't see it somehow.

Willow nodded. "She said that was why it made things easier for her to deal with, me betraying her like I did." Willow paused and bit her lip, would she always feel this guilt for what she had done to Tara? In spite of knowing that she and Spike would have come together anyway, that they were two halves of a whole, Willow still felt guilty over Tara. She had behaved appallingly and hurt Tara deeply and there was nothing she could do to change what she had done or change the affect it had and might have on Tara in the future.

"Willow," Wesley said gently. "There's nothing you could have done or even anything you could do, eventually you and Spike were going to come together."

Willow nodded. "I know, but I still feel bad. You'd think it would help with Tara being so understanding but somehow it just makes things worse." She sighed heavily.

"I know this sounds very cliché, but time is indeed a great healer," Wesley said. "Tara won't hurt forever, Willow and you won't feel guilty forever either. You know, I think your big problem is that whatever Tara was thinking or feeling before, when you tell her about this it's going to take away any blame she was pointing in your direction. It's hard to blame two people for loving each other when it was pre-written before one of them was even born."

"Percy's got a point there, love." Spike rubbed slow circles over her back.

"I guess." She sighed again and sank further into Spike's arms, resting against his shoulder her cheek touching his.

Spike turned to Wesley again. "About my question, if a champion can get a word in edgewise?"

Wesley smiled and nodded. "What's your question, Spike?"

"I heard you on the phone in L.A. when you were explainin' to Angel 'bout Willow borrowin' my strength to do the spell. You said she had latched on to the strongest person near her, you thought it would be Angel but it turned out to be me…"

"Ah," Wesley sat back down. "You've been wondering how it came to be that you're stronger than Angel?"

"Yeah."

"It may not have been that simple, I would say knowing what I know now, that Willow latched on to you because of the soul mates things. We didn't know about that at the time, did we? But, just for the record, you were always stronger than Angel on account of him having a soul and therefore having his limits. Like I said, there is nothing that you won't do for Willow."

Spike nodded, it made sense to him. It was so nice to have things make sense for a change and the fact that they brought him Willow; that just made things perfect. There was also a rather large part of him that was fairly smug over the whole thing. Angel had been busy poncing about in L.A. being all soul having and thinking he was all special when all the time he, Spike, the big bad, had been stronger than Angel ever could be because Angel was all soul having. Angel had lived with the guilt of Angelus every day for decades and Spike knew that there were definitely things that Angel would never have done because his soul and guilt wouldn't allow it.

It was a pity the poof was dead really, Spike felt he would have exceedingly enjoyed seeing the look on the wanker's face at finding out that he was a true champion and Angel was just an ordinary old champion.

Angel dead; Spike felt strangely sad all of a sudden. There had been so much going on what with Gwen and Dru and what not that he hadn't really had a chance to think about Angel too much. Now his grandsire was starting to sneak in from the corners of his mind and Spike didn't like it, he didn't like the feeling of sorrow that started to creep over him either.

Spike really didn't want to think about Angel right now. He wasn't sure that he wanted to think about Angel ever, he still couldn't say for certain just what he felt about Angel's death.

He took a deep breath, inhaling Willow's scent deep into his nose and letting it drift through his body. He knew exactly what to do to banish thoughts of Angel. In fact Willow was enough to banish thoughts of anything else, she filled his mind completely.

"Come on, love time for bed, you need your rest you've been keepin' all hours lately."

Faith snorted. "If she'll be resting I'm the Queen of England."

Willow blushed fiercely and Spike smirked. He gave Willow a little push to her feet. "And on that note,"

"Oh no, wait!"

Spike grinned. "Wait? Can't say I'm used to hearin' that from you, love."

Willow's coloured deepened and she fidgeted with her hair a moment acutely aware of the sniggering coming from Faith. "Wesley, I wanted to ask you something, Drusilla disappeared before I could ask her about it. She said I had the power to create champions, do you think that perhaps, somehow, I could create another one?"

"Another one?" Spike's head tilted quizzically. "Why do you want another one?"

"One in particular you mean?" Wesley asked knowingly. "I don't know, Willow. I suppose its possible. We'll…"

"Angel," Faith breathed. She was on her feet reaching for Willow her face alive with hope. "Do you think you can bring him back?"

"I don't know," Willow admitted. "That's what I was wondering."

"Research," Wesley said with a yawn. "We'll have to do a lot of research about this. I'll call Lorne tomorrow and ask him if he can help now that we've got this extra information courtesy of Drusilla. Maybe we can even try and find her and see what she has to say."

"You really think we can, Wes?" For once Faith was eager to start reading as many books as she could get her hands on.

"I don't know, I don't want any of you getting your hopes up about this," Wesley warned. "But Angel has been brought back before, there's nothing to say the PTB's won't bring him back again. There's nothing to say that we can't find a way to bring him back either. There's always a chance."

"That would be so…" Faith paused looking for just the right word.

"Good," Spike said quietly.

Faith glanced over at him and nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah it would be good." She realised in that moment that sometimes the simpler the words the more meaning they really had behind them.

Faith smiled, she felt as though a weight had suddenly been lifted from her shoulders. There was a possibility of bringing Angel back and she was going to hold on to it with both hands, she was going to reach for it with everything she had. There was a chance and a chance was better than what she's had mere moments ago when she'd had nothing at all.

"Ah, Drusilla," Spike said slowly. "She thinks there's a chance too. I wondered why she stayed so calm when I told her."

"If Drusilla thinks there's a chance then there must be!" Willow exclaimed excitedly. "We'll start tomorrow, first thing, right, Wesley?"

"Yes, Willow. First thing in the morning; but we don't know how long it'll take. It's important for us to remember that bringing Angel back might not happen in our lifetimes or at all. But we'll do our best for Angel just as he would do his best for us. For now though I think its best if we all try get some sleep."

Spike murmured his agreement and took Willow's arm. She allowed him to lead her from the room with a quiet goodnight to Wesley and Faith.

"If they're going up there, I'm staying down here," Faith said decisively

Willow closed her eyes the colour rising in her cheeks again. Spike chuckled quietly and drew her under his arm. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Give me a few minutes, pet and you won't remember they're even in the house never mind their jokes."

She glanced shyly up at him. "I love you, Spike."

His face softened. "I love you too."

"I'll always love you," she said decisively.

"Will you now?" Spike felt happy, completely happy for the first time in a long time.

"Yes. Will you always love me?"

"Of course I will! How can you even ask that, I'm your champion after all."

She stepped back and drew him with her towards the bedroom door. All she wanted now was to be with Spike. Gallantly he opened the door for her, "After you my love."

Taking his face in her hands she kissed him deeply. "Thank you my champion."

Spike drew her closer for a moment to return her kiss his head spinning in the most delightful way. Never, not as a human or a demon could he have imagined his life would turn out the way it had. He had Willow now and she was his life and Percy was right, there was nothing he wouldn't do for her, nothing he wouldn't give her; he'd lay down his life for her, he'd get a soul for her. Willow was his world and Spike swore to himself that she'd always know just how much she meant to him.

Pushing his foot out behind him Spike closed the bedroom door and gathered her tighter to him; he would start showing her tonight and he would never stop. "Love you baby," he whispered against her lips. "Love you so bloody much."

"When I was a little girl I always believed that there was that one person out there for everybody, but I never would have believed that you were the one, Spike."

"Don't mind too much, do you?" he teased, brushing kisses over her face.

She sighed softly and shook her head. "No. I like it." Willow laughed suddenly. "There was a time after L.A. that I looked at you, at what was happening between us as one big problem that I needed to solve. It didn't make sense that I was behaving that way, with the sneaking around and the lying. It's nice to know that it wasn't just me being an awful person, that it happened because we're meant to be together, that you're the one." She could stop saying that, her voice quivered with awe each time she said those two little words. They meant so much to her, Spike meant so much to her and she was glad that it was him she loved.

Sinking onto the bed Spike took her with him pressing her back into the pillows as he kissed her deeply. She moaned into the kiss her arms sliding around his neck and her fingers tangling in his hair.

"Thanks to the starts or the Powers or whatever they are, I guess there's no solution to your little problem, love. You're stuck with me." He drew her bottom lip into his mouth for a moment and she shivered in response.

Willow gave a little regretful sigh. "Guess I'm just going to have to learn to live with you then."

"Uh huh, I guess so," he grinned at her.

"Spike," dipping a hand between his legs Willow cradled his growing erection in her palm. "I do have a solution to this problem if you'd like my help."

He laughed softly. "Always want your help with that problem, love." Spike kissed her again, long and hard and deep. "Now, get solvin'."

Fini

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading and added this story to their favourites/watched list. And a special thank you to all the lovely people who have been so kind as to leave reviews and give me such support I really appreciate it.

I can't believe that I've finished my first BTVS story, and it's been nominated at the Willowy Goodness awards over at live journal. So fab!

For anyone whose interested I will be working on another spillow story and will start posting it soon.