10-29-2012

She wanted to cry for a set of reasons.

But she had to take this one step at a time.

Breathe, Amy, breathe…

She couldn't breathe.

But she'd start with the first reason why she wanted to cry.

First… Because of the relief. There was this unimaginable relief that washed over a woman after suffering through such a horror and pain and madness. It was one of the most frightening experiences she had ever had the displeasure of involving in, and it brought her to tears.

But that was only one reason.

The other… was the scene. She had never seen anything more beautiful. Not the moment when Sonic had burst into the wreckage in a radiant gold, not the moment when the world sparkled under the emerald's power of Knuckles's control, but this. The love of her life holding her child. His child. Their child.

She had never seen such a look on his face. His eyes—oh his eyes there were two pairs now.

She wanted to cry.

He looked so ethereal holding her, his eyes dancing with happiness and joy and shock and shock and shock because he couldn't believe it just as he was disbelieving when she told him she was pregnant. He was a created life form with a specific purpose in mind upon creation, and it was pretty clear reproduction wasn't a part of the doctor's plan so working semen wasn't even a thought and therefore the idea of pregnancy was out of the question.

But it happened and she was there and she was so beautiful. From the blanket where the lights hit her tiny form, her fur looked almost transparent, coming out as such a muted pink to the point of being white.

Amy could almost imagine what her face looked like. She wanted to see, she wanted to see, she wanted to see…

But first, she had to figure out what was wrong with her. Like why she couldn't breathe. This wasn't the 'such a beautiful sight' kind of inability to breathe; rather, she really couldn't breathe. Air wasn't filling her. Her lungs weren't functioning properly.

It was at that point where panic hit her in a mind-numbing crash as she could feel her body draining. Weaker and weaker and weaker and she wanted to scream and cry and cry and cry and she wanted to call for help but look at how happy he looks how could she ruin that for him and her feet were starting to burn and she could feel her joints cracking and then she knew oh god she knew she understood because she had always wondered.

Everyone had been concerned because the pregnancy itself was unnatural. They thought something would go wrong. Even though they never said it, whenever she was around, she caught that wary look in their eyes, that look you give when you see a glass cup teetering at the edge of a table and you're just waiting for it to fall and break. She hated that look. Still, she smiled anyway and pretended just like the rest of the world for they were too afraid to say it to her. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong.

Once, a word of it was uttered by a woman she couldn't even remember. An ugly word that she feared and sent her crying and he was there holding her and feeling horrible for ever thinking none of this was real.

Miscarriage.

Of course she thought about it. Of course she feared it. There were so many complications. She was giving birth to a baby of a living mobian and a crafted specimen. Of course she had thought about miscarriages and wrong birth dates and even contemplated baby mutation.

When her water broke she had begun crying out of absolute fear, but he was there just like he was always there for her.

The tension from anticipation should've killed them all, but then she came with a wonderful wail that sent her mother's heart melting in liberation and she caught a glimpse of her as she was handed to her father and she was beautiful and all her worries washed away.

But now she knew.

Shadow was a powerful being. He had explained to her once that his body was made to be stronger than others, faster than others. It was an element of capacity. He was capable of doing all these things because his body was able to, but he needed an energy source as any other being, even more so than natural. He needed the energy of a chaos emerald.

And now she understood.

They looked so beautiful together, how could she tell him what was happening?

She was dying.

Her baby would never have survived a normal pregnancy, would never have been able to come to life if it hadn't had an energy source. Something to sustain itself into the new world.

So it drained it from her carrier.

She was dying.

She was dying.

She was dying.

Her baby, what would happen to her baby?!

Those little hands…

How-How could she leave her poor Shadow all alone?! Shadow, oh, Shadow…

…but he wasn't alone. She would have left him with a beautiful baby daughter.

Despair that had been choking her seemed to slip under her nails and dissolve into the air. It was okay. She was happy. They looked so beautiful together. It didn't matter anymore.

The world seemed to be filmed from a hazy yellow. Sounds were suddenly sharper. She couldn't breathe. Her toes hurt. Her arms burned.

"Amy, Amy, look at h…" He had such striking eyes and why were they so wide and oh Shadow she wanted to touch his face but she couldn't feel her knuckles and his mouth was moving and he was yelling but she couldn't understand and the beeps rang in her ears and white flew in her eyes and that peal wail pierced the air and her baby was alive.

She wondered what it would have been like to hold her baby's hand. She wondered what it would have been like to suffer through nights of screeches. She wondered what it would have been like to dress her up in girly dresses. She wondered what it would have been like to walk her to the bus on her first day of school. She wondered what kind of trouble her baby would get into. She wondered what kind of friends she would have made. She wondered about the talents she'd have. She wondered about the day she'd graduate. She wondered about the parking tickets she'd get. She wondered about the day she'd get married. She wondered what her baby's babies would have looked like.

She wondered what kind of life it would've been with Shadow by her side.

What a happy one it could have been.

She could suddenly focus on his eyes now. He knew. She knew he knew. He put the pieces together just as she did.

She wanted to tell him so many things. She wanted to tell him not to blame himself. She wanted to tell him to be happy for their baby; their lovely, lovely baby. She wanted to tell him she loved him and loved him and loved him.

But she couldn't breathe and couldn't say anything and she just hoped he knew anyway and she wished she could be there for him but she couldn't.

She wondered what he'd name their child.