WISH

"Sister Kikyo! What do you want in your next life?"

"In my, next life? Perhaps.. a little sibling who I can love. A family. And to help people. By stopping demons from hurting them."

When Kikyo had been younger, she had craved a family. One of those ones that took an entire village to hold, and one that could keep her warm in winter with laughter. But she had been misfortunate, because her father had no siblings. Her mother had no siblings either. Her grandparents died before she was born. They resided in a small village that was full of distanced families, and she had been, more than anything, craving to be in a household that had many people. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, mother, father—she would have cherished all of it. Soon after Kaede was born, mother passed away, and father took up suicide due to being unhappy with his own life. They could not have siblings. Kikyo was given Kaede to raise, and she was chosen to be the apprentice miko, in lieu of her mother's death. Family reputation had driven her to forgo a dream she wished she could have. A miko could have but one child—and Kikyo wasn't certain that she could have one of those, either. She had to take care of a child as is.

She saw so many families while she trained. The other miko who taught her seemed aggravated at her need to be upset over not having one. The days slowed when she found that she would never have a family. She wanted one more than anything. A baby brother, a father, a mother. But that hadn't been possible.

Kikyo sacrificed her dream to become the village miko, the eve that the other miko died. That, too, was the eve she was given the shikon no tama, by a taijiya village. She was envious when she noticed the young couple of the village surrounded by family. Lots of family, warmly welcoming them to the village. The taijiya were a family, instead of a group—Kikyo was a miko in a village, part of a group. She had slept close to Kaede that night, and cried secret tears of longing.

She met Inuyasha two years after-and she had connected to him. For he, too, had no family.

"I want to be like Inuyasha when I grow up. I want to grow old. What about you, Sister Kikyo?"

"I've never thought of that.. I just want to have you near. You are my family."

Inuyasha had been unable to stop the demons from hurting her sister, and Kikyo had reprimanded him and been angry. Kaede was her life. She had been mortified that her poor sister had lost her eye. Kaede had cried all night, and she had been so patient with bandaging her eye. Kikyo wished she had been there sooner to save her. The eyepatch looked terrible on her sister, who imitated a mainland demon afterwards in her childlike humour.

Kikyo had cried again when she knew her sister could not see Inuyasha at the corner of the room, looking as if he had hurt his own family by being unable to save Kaede.

The following few days, she had tried to heal her sisters inner wounds, by spending time with her, but Inuyasha, too, needed her solace. Once again, she sacrificed what she desired most to spend time with her lover, and Kaede seemed to become more serious. Older. By the end of the week, her enthusiasm was gone, and during mealtime, she was quiet and studious. She had been working on her bow and arrow relentlessly. She had began calling Kikyo by formal names, and soon, the kindhearted sister became a formal term. Her family had been distanced from her, and Kikyo no longer knew what to do.

It was not long before Inuyasha betrayed her, and she gave up her life protecting her duty. She thought that to be the end of her struggle, and in a final moment, passed on, wishing to be in the taijiya village she had been envious of.

"Who do you want to be when you reincarnate?"

"A taijiya. They have such a.. big family."

She was revived, and she had been appalled to find that a few days later, a beautiful, dark haired woman was journeying with Inuyasha. This woman had resided in the village, injured, for some time, and Kaede had tended to her wounds. She had long, suave hair, and dark irises that reminded Kikyo of her own. The woman, however, had physical body strength, and unusually enough, she carried with her a boomerang. One that was twice the size of her body itself. The remarkable female, Kikyo found, was easily able to help around the village, and when Inuyasha had left her in the village, she aided anyone she could. She easily did what her reincarnation would not. But she never asked for any recognition.

Perhaps that was why Kikyo was not surprised that the woman wore a taijiya outfit—made of pink and blacks, elegant in its own right. She was the epitome of everything Kikyo had desired for her own death. To be resurrected and see a woman who should have been her reincarnation, walking her village, replacing her, made her heart warm. But the moment she found that her own reincarnation was approaching, ignoring the villager who desired her blessing, Kikyo became furious. Why had she been reincarnated into such an ignorant person?

Within a few hours, Kikyo had left, but not before seeing the Taijiya had found Kaede. Her sister was in much pain, her eye was bleeding. The taijiya had aided her, and taken off her eyepatch, and in the gentleness Kikyo had done to her sister, the taijiya had applied ointment to Kaede's eye, and had blessed her with a few hours of solitude. She had stayed and aided Kikyo's own sister. The undead woman had left feeling very empty. She had wished she could be that girl, instead of who she had become.

"Why did you get mad at Inuyasha? Don't you want to be his wife?"

"You don't understand. He doesn't mean the world to me. Protecting you, my sister, does. He couldn't do that."

On another occasion, Kikyo had seen the most remarkable thing.

Her reincarnation had been quick to reclaim Inuyasha's affection after a brawl with Naraku, almost ignoring that there was much else to do. The clinging affection and tears were touching to anyone else, but Kikyo had seen entirely different. Kikyo had seen the girl's bag, full of foods that were prepared by family. She had been told, by Kaede, that her reincarnation had a mother, a brother, and a grandfather. Kikyo had been displeased that her reincarnation had been unable to realise how much her journies were harming her family.

No mother would want to see her daughter in danger.

She had considered asking Inuyasha, but it intruded too much, so she had left. It wasn't long after that she had found the taijiya blindly chasing someone. It was a boy—in taijiya outfit. Kikyo's heart, already dead, broke when she was told the boy was the taijiya's younger brother. Possessed by Naraku.

And she realised just how much she wished she were reincarnated into her, because the taijiya loved her brother just as much as Kikyo loved Kohaku. She asked Kaede, simply out of curiousity, about the taijiya's family. And when told that they were all dead, Kikyo truly pitied her. Someone who could be so much like Kikyo, but at the same time, not her.

Why couldn't she be the taijiya's past incarnation?

"What would you do for your family?"

"My life."

He was dying. Kikyo had found the boy's company admirable, but she had seen that he longed for life. For his sister.

Kikyo had been touched, and that was why she had decided to allow her life to replenish his. He was young, and if this meant he could please the taijiya, who truly loved her family, she would do anything. She might not have done the same for her reincarnation. Or Inuyasha. No one deserved the solace more than the taijiya, who Kikyo knew so little of, but understood so much. After she felt her life fade away, she saw the taijiya's eyes light up. In happiness, and in sorrow.

The moment Kikyo met her eyes, she saw she had someone. An admirer. A family. She was conjoined to the taijiya's brother, forever. But she was able to do what she desired most.

She passed on. But she lived on in the taijiya who had what Kikyo always wanted—even if she wasn't her reincarnation. Kikyo could always wish.