Chapter Summary: As Cloud struggles to outline the horrors of his life, Sephiroth convinces Jaycynda that he needs to see Lucrecia. That he chooses to confront her without Cloud isn't meant to be an affront to the former General of Wutai - it is a test to see if Sephiroth is as capable of facing his past as his 'son' has already done...

Chapter 12: Consequences

Replacing the whiskey bottles on their freshly cleaned shelf, Tifa Lockhart started on another with a sigh.

It was fairly early on Monday morning, and the unopened bar was quiet and dim. But she knew of the battle being waged just above her head and was trying to distract herself by giving the room a thorough cleaning. The manual labor might keep her hands busy, but her thoughts were free to roam as they wished, and they returned again and again to the man that even now struggled to lay out his history for any curious enough to read of it.

Pausing, Tifa rubbed at eyes irritated by the bleach mixture she had unwittingly made too strong.

The memories of the weekend were still fresh and vivid: Godo and his daughter Yuffie had arrived mid-afternoon on Friday, and their friends had arrived in droves to spend time with Cloud, Tifa, Marlene and Denzel. Even Barret, whom Tifa thought of as her father-figure, had popped in for a whirlwind visit.

The poker game that followed -resulting in Cloud, Godo and Sephiroth battling it out in a three way match towards the end- had already attained legendary status and was spoken of in reverently hushed tones throughout the entire city. Tifa smiled wickedly as she reorganized her selection of whiskeys.

Both Sephiroth and Cloud were still smarting from losing spectacularly to Godo. It would be a while before their collective egos recovered from the figurative spanking handed out by the leader of Wutai.

And she would give anything -anything at all- to keep the laughter echoing through the room as it had during the weekend and the week that followed. Anything to keep Cloud from sliding back into the blackness of his past. Long nights spent in his arms had taught her well of the tenderness that dwelled within the former General of Wutai. So why was it so important that the world know just what had been done to him, to Sephiroth, to Zack and Kunsel, to Genesis and Angeal, to Vincent and Nanaki? How many hearts would break over learning of the details of the horrific experiments conducted by Hojo in his insanity?

Cloud had forced himself to reveal the bare bones of his life to her in the hopes she could understand why he had become the man he was. Was it so wrong of her to wish it their secret? Was her desire to be the only one he trusted enough to know the truth so terrible?

Selfish, so selfish, Tifa Lockhart, she chided herself. If the world was ever to understand just how evil the ShinRa corporation had become, the horror stories had to be shared. She knew this. But she also knew how taxing it was to Cloud to open up, to make himself so vulnerable.

The truth would cut deeply into him, and he would bleed.

And because her love for him was so great, so would she...

Rubbing at the stiff muscles at the nape of his neck, Cloud stared tiredly at the computer screen before him. On it, a detailed outline representing his life mapped out the highs and lows, the triumphs and tragedies from birth to the present. Seeing the stark facts laid out so precisely was just a bit overwhelming.

"We should take a break and get away from this for a while, Cloud," said the deep, intense voice of his adoptive father. Godo placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder and gave a gentle but insistent push, causing the wheeled office chair to roll away from the desk located in Tifa's office.

The early morning sun streaming through the window did not reflect Cloud's somber mood. To him, it only highlighted just how ghastly parts of his life had been. Cloud was also working on what he knew of Sephiroth's timeline at the same time, using Hojo's decoded reports from the cache in Wutai and the ledgers and notes provided by Vincent. Separately they were difficult enough to handle.

By putting them all together as he was doing now was just heartbreaking.

The worst part was he hadn't even started to work Zack and Kunsel into the outline yet.

Although they didn't get as much press as he and Sephiroth did, Hojo had shattered their lives just as much - if not more. Almost all the experiments had taken place on Seph before he was born; afterwards was largely training and in many cases outright brain washing. Cloud's treatments happened before birth and from age eight to fourteen, and he was deep in a coma for the entire six years Hojo worked on him.

All Zack and Kunsel's experimentation had been during the same six years - and they were aware every single second of that hideous period. They had seen all those 'samples' dragged in, were forced to watch the tortures performed on them in the name of science, resulting in either their minds snapping completely or death. Either end landed them in a body bag to be shipped out so no one would realize what was going on in those underground tunnels.

Rubbing at his eyes, Cloud was just too sick at heart to fight with Godo over the matter. "All right," he agreed, rising to push the chair under the desk.

Since Godo was a little shorter than Cloud, he took hold of a blonde spike to drag his head down. "I'm leaving for the WRO HQ to speak with Reeve and Kunsel about restarting the exchange student program between Edge and Wutai." He gave the captured lock a slight tug and narrowed his eyes at his adopted son. "Those adorable children are attending school now despite their protests, the bar will not open for nearly four more hours, and Tifa is doing make-work to keep herself busy and out of our way as we struggle through the most terrible aspects of your life. You need to step away from it completely -for now- before it undermines all you've accomplished here. I strongly suggest you invest some time in keeping the lovely Tifa occupied and yourself out of trouble."

The wicked smile appeared slowly as Cloud blushed all shades of red and backed away, one hand rubbing the back of his neck while the other made a gesture as if to ward off the improper suggestion.

"Dad!" Cloud finally got out, trying to scowl at Godo but only ended up looking like a kid guilty of raiding the cookie jar. "All during the war, you knew of my..." and he had to sputter for a minute to find the right word, "...activities." It was the kindest term he could come up with on the spur of the moment. "And you never said one word regarding those women; you never teased me, never even indicated you cared one way or the other. But you've only known Tifa since Friday, and you've already embarrassed me countless times over this blasted bite mark on my neck. Now here you stand, eyes twinkling with sheer evil as you 'suggest' I drag Tifa off and..."

That was where he ran out of steam, since there hadn't been any need to discuss sex with Godo when he was a teenager; the Jenova cells had downloaded all that knowledge right into his brain - in excruciating and exacting detail.

Having such a talk now was down-right mortifying.

Laughing, Godo gave Cloud a clout on the shoulder that nearly spun him in a circle, "I think the phrase you're trying to choke out is make love." Watching his son regain his balance and rub at his bruised shoulder had him smiling again. "And it never mattered because none who came before Tifa meant anything to you. Though they tried, they couldn't touch your heart." The dark eyes became sad when Cloud turned away.

"Was I really that cold, Otousan-san?" Cloud asked softly.

Reaching out, Godo pulled him around and framed his face with his hands. "No, Kuraudo-kun. The coldness came from those who sought to achieve gain from your innocence. None of them, except Aerith, truly cared for you. And she was more in love with the dream of the man you could become rather than the one you already were. She was so fixated on you she never realized she was trying to impose Zack Fair's personality onto yours. Stepping aside and making her really aware of him was one of the finest things you have ever done."

That he was surprised was an understatement. "Zack was so head over heels in love with her, dad. How could I even contemplate becoming involved with her when I knew how he felt?"

"And that, right there, proves just how fine a man -and how good a friend- you really are. Now go entertain your woman. I'm quite sure she will welcome such a distraction, given how skilled you are in... certain techniques." His laughter rang throughout the room at the appalled look Cloud shot him. "I might not have said anything to you about those women, but that doesn't mean I ignored the whispers and rumors floating around."

And Godo pushed him right out of the office, firmly shutting the door on the horrendous outline shimmering on the computer screen.

There were some things in life one didn't need to dwell on over-long. And though he would never admit it to Cloud, seeing everything mapped out in that manner had nearly broken his heart - just as the sight of that emaciated fourteen-year-old kid, body riddled with scars and deep in a coma, had shattered it years before.

Sephiroth strode into the WRO infirmary, smiling at Starr when she looked up from her computer. "Well," she drawled out, "if it isn't the wandering Silver General. This isn't your usual time to visit Rufus." Turning, she studied him frankly for a long minute before blowing out a breath. "You're up to something. Give it, Seph." Her grin went naughty as she warned, "Either tell me or face a strip search."

Reaching over the desk, he tapped her nose with one fingertip as he reminded, "We've already been down that route before, dear nursemaid. Is Jaycynda in today? I would like to talk to her after I see Rufus, if it's convenient."

She eyed him suspiciously, "Awful cordial today, aren't you? Sure, I'll check her schedule for you." Rolling her chair over to the reception desk, Starr keyed in her password and entered the system. "Jaycynda will be free in about half an hour." Elbow on the counter-top, chin resting on her fist, Starr watched Sephiroth wave cheerfully as he headed for the unit housing Rufus ShinRa during his recovery.

While Sephiroth was recovering nicely from his near-meltdown, there was an edge to his demeanor that rang alarm bells in Starr. The internal clamor was strong enough to have her typing in a quick note to the Head Nurse, adding it to Seph's request to speak with Jaycynda.

Untroubled by Starr's concern, Seph knocked on the door to Unit 17 and waited patiently for a reply. As stated, it wasn't the time he normally came to see Rufus. But he would be facing Lucrecia later in the day and wanted to check on the son of President ShinRa before he left.

The "Come in" was spoken in a fairly irritated tone, which meant Jaycynda or Starr had been fussing about something and Rufus was feeling a bit aggravated by their attentions.

Sephiroth didn't let it worry him as he entered the room.

He considered it a good sign that the curtains were open, admitting the bright sunlight into the room. Nothing would ever make it feel like home, but the flowers and potted plants, an intricate rug and some beautiful paintings from Wutai took away some of the coldness from the stark white walls and medical equipment. Rufus was seated in the recliner by the window, bathed in sunlight as he read from a book whose tattered bindings indicated it was likely older than he was.

There was pleasure on his face as he rested the book face-down on his blanket draped knees and smiled. "Seph! I wasn't expecting you so soon today."

"I'll be out of the city for a while and wanted to see you before I left," Sephiroth answered as he sat on the bed. "The paintings are new. Very nice." And they were. They were a set, showing one of Wutai's beautiful temples during the four seasons. "I have a feeling Strife might be responsible for those."

Rufus grinned, "His father came to see me and hung them personally, over-riding Jaycynda's horror at putting holes in the walls. Then he and Yuffie sneaked in some of the finest tonkatsu, sanuki udon and butajiru soup I have ever eaten." He glanced around conspiringly before admitting, "I've still got some stashed away. I'm hoping to finish it before the wardens discover my hoard."

To laugh with Rufus felt good. To see him sitting up, interested in an old book, plotting how to best keep his hidden food safe was a wonderful sensation. There was color in the pale face, and the simple t-shirt and lounging pants didn't bag on him quite as badly as before. "Tell me truthfully, Rufus. How are you feeling?"

Rufus had learned the hard way that lying to Sephiroth was a total waste of time. The General could smell a lie from over a mile away, and he no longer expended the energy to do so. "Today, I feel... alive. Like there just might be a reason to continue existing. I'm still having a lot of trouble sleeping because I just can't turn off my mind, and I'm tired of the weakness and apathy. I guess I'm getting on my own nerves a bit." Rufus gave a laugh and ran a hand through his feathery blonde hair.

"It's called cabin fever, my friend. You've been cooped up in here for a while now and you're sick of staring at the four walls. It's a feeling I know well." Reaching out, he laid his hand on Rufus' wrist and promised, "But you're recovering, and responding to treatment. Don't give up or let the repetitious routine grind you down. It's important that you not only see the results, but also accept them. You have strength of will your father never possessed, and that -more than anything- is going to see you through. No one blames you for your father's actions but you, Rufus. And we are all concerned for your welfare. Even Strife."

The flinch at the mention of the name was noticeable. Rufus lifted one hand to his temple and rubbed lightly as he said, "I will never forgive myself for not connecting the dots sooner. I actually saw the report of Dr. Strife's autopsy. The conclusion was a particularly vicious monster attack because of all the slashes and gouges. But he was tortured to death, Seph, literally cut to pieces because Hojo wanted to know where he had hidden his wife and son. How could I have not seen that?"

"Because you aren't omnipotent, son of ShinRa. Your father was very careful to keep you blind as to the company's real agenda. That blame rests solely upon his soul; may it rot in Hades for all eternity. Hojo was my father, and for too many years he shaped me to his will, just as he did President ShinRa. Your father never escaped that mold, but I did, thanks to Cloud Strife. You are going to do the same, Rufus. Because you are just too strong to let a sorry son of a bitch like Professor Hojo to tear you down."

Blinking at the intense tone, Rufus regarded him solemnly for several long moments. Finally, though the move was tentative, he laid his hand over Sephiroth's and swore quietly, "I believe you. And because I believe you, I will never give up. I will recover. I will get out of this white-walled prison. And I will make the kind of difference my father never had the opportunity to make because of Hojo's hold on him."

Deep inside, something long frozen thawed within Sephiroth. Not even Cloud had been able to revive that instinctive trust in himself and his motives. But the unassailable knowledge that he, too, could help another of Hojo's victims to recover finally convinced Sephiroth of his own self-worth. Never again would he look into a mirror and see the reflection of the man that had fathered him and left him shattered.

From this moment on, there was only Seph and the life he chose to live.

Nothing of the epiphany showed on his face as he smiled at Rufus, "Now that is what I've been waiting to hear."

A soft knock on the door signaled the end of the visit when Jaycynda stuck her head into the room and motioned to Sephiroth to come outside.

"At least she's after you this time!" Rufus said gleefully. "Keep her occupied long enough for me to get a few bites, will you?" he said in a stage whisper.

"I promise to try," Sephiroth replied as he headed out the door. "Just keep in mind she may not cooperate."

He found Jaycynda standing in the hallway, arms crossed over her chest and glinting green eyes narrowed. "So, what have you done to so upset my admin?" she snapped out.

Chuckling, he tapped her nose the same way he had Starr and admitted, "I'm plotting something, and wouldn't tell her what I'm up to."

Blinking, the head nurse of the WRO drawled out, "Yep, that would do it. Any mischief she can't be a part of will definitely draw her ire. Going to tell me?"

"Cid is flying Vincent and me to see Lucrecia."

"You mentioned that in last week's report, Seph, so that's old news."

"I'm going without Strife."

The simple statement had her straightening up. The concern on her face was mirrored in the careful tone as she said, "I'm not sure that's a really good idea, Sephiroth. Cloud has told you of his fears about her, and the effect your presence could have if what he's afraid of is true. Vincent..."

Holding up a hand, Seph began to counter her arguments. "Cloud himself has stated it's time for him to step back and let me start making my own decisions. And Vincent is far stronger than any of you -barring Cloud- are willing to give him credit for. I'm a big boy, Jaycynda. I can take it." He saw his words had not convinced her and tried again. "To the world inside our little circle, Cloud is considered my son because of the way my DNA altered his through Hojo's experiments. But that's not really the truth, and we both know it."

"Seph," Jaycynda tried to object, tears in her eyes.

"Hush now. It's time everyone start admitting how things really stand. From the moment Cloud stepped into that treaty tent in Wutai to confront me, our roles have been reversed. I'm the son in this relationship. He's been the father-figure I never dreamed of having; supporting me, guiding me, protecting me, nurturing me. The difference in our ages has made accepting this difficult - I'm 37 and he's not quite 22. But however improbable, it is the truth." Reaching out, he touched her cheek and stated gently, "My father believes in me, Jaycynda. And it's time I prove to myself I'm strong enough to face the life he's given back to me."

Brushing away her tears, Sephiroth kissed her forehead and left the infirmary.

Tifa was scrubbing the bar when Cloud came down the stairs. He stood there in the muted lighting, staring at her with softly glowing eyes that seemed darker than normal. Concerned, she draped the cleaning rag over the lip of the sink and approached him.

There was a sharpness to his demeanor she hadn't seen in months and it should have frightened her. But Tifa knew what lay beneath the remote coolness; Cloud was struggling with emotions and regrets most could never comprehend. And under the mask was... need. The need to be reminded he was, despite all that had been done to him, still human.

The smile that lit her face was more than just a bit naughty. This was something she could take care of without any problems. "Come with me," Tifa told him softly, holding out a hand.

Cloud stared at it for just a moment before finally smiling in a manner more felt than seen. "Is it going to hurt?" Humor was starting to show in the too-blue eyes as he brought their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss on her fingertips. Passion shimmered in his gaze - still dark, yes, but with desire now instead of shadows.

Stepping up to him, she tilted her head back and assured him, "Oh yeah."

For a long moment Cloud stood looking down at this incredible woman, his heart so full of emotion he truly thought it might burst. He finally took a deep breath and told her, simply and without preamble, "I love you."

The light in the cinnamon eyes warmed; pulled him in. The kiss started so sweet, so tender. And rapidly escalated into something approaching all-out war as their hands tangled while trying to strip off clothing. Laughing at their fumbling antics, Cloud suddenly scooped Tifa into his arms and headed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time in his eagerness to get to the bedroom.

Once dumped onto the bed, Tifa immediately sat up and huffed at him. Those clever and entirely too agile SOLDIER hands had nearly stripped her bare while he was still fully dressed, more or less. "Cloud Strife!" she barked, incensed…

…then lost her train of thought completely as Cloud locked her eyes with his and began to disrobe.

He wasn't the kind of man that thought of himself as irresistible. There was no ego, no arrogance in his personality. Cloud wanted to make love to her and was removing the barrier of his clothing in the most expedient manner possible. But the way he did it!

There was unexpected grace in the economy of his movements as he unbuckled armor, unzipped the cable knit shirt. The way he twisted to remove the dust skirt, kicked off his boots, peeled off gloves - it was poetry in motion. And all the while his eyes blazed with intent, telling her clearly what he was going to do to her without a word being said.

The tingling anticipation seemed to wash over her in waves as she waited breathlessly for him to finish.

Shiva help her when he did...

Standing on the deck of the Highwind, hair blowing madly in the wind, Sephiroth glanced sideways at his companion and tried to think of something to say. Vincent hadn't said a word since boarding the ship earlier and his silence seemed ominous.

Turning back to the scenery flashing beneath him, Sephiroth blew out a breath in frustration. It was hard to keep his thoughts focused when in Vincent's company. There were so many questions he wanted to ask but didn't feel he had the right to pry. The former Turk was even more remote in manner than Seph himself and he wasn't sure how to breach the many barriers that surrounded the crimson-eyed man.

"I've watched you closely since Strife came to Edge," came the unexpected admittance. "The changes in you are nothing short of miraculous. You have thrown off the shackles binding you to Hojo without reservation. It takes a great deal of courage to change all that you know by facing what is hidden within." The deep voice was filled with irony as Vincent continued, "I see far more of Lucrecia in you now than Hojo. It is… a relief."

"You feared for me?" There was surprise in Sephiroth's tone, along with a bit of wonder.

Vincent idly waved a hand, "With all your care and training placed in Hojo's hands? Fear is a mild word, indeed. He nearly broke you down to his level. How Strife managed to reach you is even more miraculous than your recovery." Stepping to the railing, his grasped the metal in his gloved hand and looked down upon the mountain range they were crossing. "He stands where I wish I could in your thoughts. I envy him in that regard."

Taking a moment to gather his wits after that surprising revelation, Sephiroth finally replied, "It's been… an adjustment for me. What I regret is it took so long to realize just how things really stood between us." A faint smile lit his face, "I'm older than the man who has become my father. Quite a statement, eh? You envy Cloud because of my relationship with him. I envy Denzel and Marlene because they'll grow up with his strength and support."

The snort was blown away by the wind, but Vincent's comment had him laughing, "I can't see you climbing into Strife's lap and snuggling in like Marlene."

"Doesn't mean I don't think about it from time to time. That last report he decoded a couple of days ago made me seriously consider it." The memory had him tightening his grip on the railing. The medical exam had shown how badly Lucrecia's health was failing after the birth; the tremors, the weight loss, the deteriorating motor skills and lack of coordination.

Vincent looked away, and the act reminded Sephiroth that the former Turk had actually seen what was described in the report. "I'm sorry." The words seemed very inadequate compared to his sorrow.

"You had nothing to do with the situation, Sephiroth." A glimmer caught Vincent's eye, and he motioned toward what was obviously a large lake ringed by mountains. "It would be a good thing to prepare yourself. The cavern lies behind that waterfall." Placing a hand on Sephiroth shoulder, he said in a gentle tone, "Lucrecia awaits."

Meanwhile…

Sweat-soaked, heart pounding, mind fuzzy, Tifa mentally wondered why the world was still quaking. It took a long moment to realize it was her own labored breathing that was causing the tremors. And that there was another heartbeat thumping right along with hers.

All she could think to say was, "Wow."

The husky laugh from beneath her was just as breathless as her own as he managed to gasp, "Oh, yeah."

Cloud opened one eye just long enough to check out her satisfied grin before letting his head plop back onto the pillow. He chuckled deep in his throat as Tifa's hands started wandering again, gliding down his rib cage and up the wonderfully muscled arms before sliding her fingers into his wildly disordered blonde hair.

"Twenty points extra if his spikes go flat," Tifa murmured wickedly, pressing her lips to that especially sensitive spot just beneath his ear before flicking the little ring in his wolf earring with her tongue.

The caress earned her a growl that had chills running down her spine.

In a supple, impossibly graceful move Cloud flipped their positions. "I've got a spike that has no intentions of going flat," he promised darkly, pinning her to the bed with little effort as his mouth lowered, capturing her lips and skillfully drawing out a sighing moan.

"I was talking about your hair!" Tifa laughingly protested even as she wiggled around, trying playfully to break his grasp.

And Cloud rose above her, eyes blazing with blue fire as he assured her, "I wasn't."