Summary: Fate has brought Zero and Yuuki together, but when one is diagnosed with a terminal disease, what's the other to do? He needs money to keep his love alive, but with a limited income, he resorts to theft. Little does he know whom exactly he steals from… Slight, past ZeroxYuuki, main pairing KanamexZero

So, I decided to change this into a story that isn't about some form of the mafia. I reimagined my entire story and I figure I may as well fix it now while it's only the beginning that way I don't completely lose where I was going with it. Anyway, no more yakuza paranoia.

AND, I hate to admit this, but it's been a veeeeery long time since I've read the VK manga or watched the anime, but I read a lot of the fanfiction, so if the characters are OOC, then it really is my fault. BUT I will try my best… we'll see where it goes…

Warnings for the story: Well… I can honestly say I don't know yet. Obviously cursing, bloodshed, gun pointing, knife throwing, thievery, and other general doings. It's also yaoi, so MxM and of course dom/sub relations. Kaname is a little too controlling for his own good.

Warnings for this chapter: Generally just some lovey dovey stuff between Zero and Yuuki. But don't worry, it's only the prologue! Maybe some swearing, it depends on how desperate Zero gets. I'm not a Yuuki basher, but for this story it might seem like it. I actually like Yuuki and have nothing against her! xD It's also a very depressing start to a fic… but I hope you'll like it anyway cuz it won't be getting any happier.

Hearts Yearning a Home

Chapter I: Prelude to Battle

Winter has come.

Pure, white snowflakes, as gentle as a lullaby, charily descend to the dirty ground, delicate in their downward placement. It's too early in the year for the snow to stick yet, so it melts on contact, absorbing into the soil as effortlessly as rain—moistening the earth. Heavy, rubber boots cakes in the sludge, weighing me down with every trek, but I have a mission, a place to be. No amount of mud will keep me from there, either. Warmth, radiating more intensely than the summer sun, consumes and overflows that place. That welcoming kindness derives from the people that dwell within, and not so much from the interior design. That one, special place is my home, that's not actually my home but a family-family I've acquired through hardships and trial. Even if that home were covered in a sheet of ice, that heat, though buried, would find its way to the surface, would overcome the cold darkness and glow as brightly as a star. That's why, even as the snow falls, I care not of the freezing temperatures that chill my bones to a degree that rusts them unmoving, only for the place I'm headed.

Air, bitter enough to turn ones breath into condensation, breaks against my wooly winter coat, which is the only thing keeping me from hypothermia. Hood of said coat, its dark color contrasting greatly with the fairness of the skin of my face, shadows over my eyes to create an illusion. The bulkiness of the seasonal design means to protect against the harsh wind, like a shield, but I dare to say that it metaphorically also guards against the idea of melancholy this time of the year brings along with it. November is a surreal month, whether it's because the holidays make us reflect on who we are or because the lack of UV rays messes with our bodies natural balance up here in the north, we always do the most sulking in winter.

Still, even in November the atmosphere shrouds in impending doom.

There's a bridge, made of brick and mortar (like in the song) only this one doesn't collapse, and unlike in "London Bridge is Falling Down," it extends into a gravel road—that hasn't been raked in decades and is disjointed by rows of overgrown weeds—into the woods. The substantial forests surrounding the manmade trail are something pulled right out of a fairytale, where rabid wolves eat little girls and princesses get locked away in towers or find a house full of dwarves. Ominous is a good word to describe them, but I wonder it isn't exactly correct, though true. Creepy, apprehensive, or downright sinister would also be good, descriptive words, but what it appears to be isn't what it is. The woods, normally concealed in thick, hazy clouds of fog, are actually a peaceful place where birds sing soulfully and deer graze the bark off the trees in preparation for hibernation. Quiet, plaintively serene. Perfectly normal.

At the end of that extension, toward the very middle of the wooded area, is an isolated, gleaming house. My home, where the warmth I love so much still shimmers invisibly out of every crack. The chimney is alive with smoke from a toasty fire, the smell of which I recognize as it's burned into my memory—one of many things that remind me of where I live. Inside, through the front window, I hear the clatter of metal pots colliding with one another. A sure sign that Yuuki is in the kitchen. It's only more confirmation when a high pitched squeal assaults my ears, followed by more collisions.

Yuuki...

I chuckle under my breath as I enter the front door, knowing Cross keeps it unlocked when he's here, and head straight for the kitchen. I don't even stop to set down my belongings, but I have to as I go to pick my younger friend up off the wooden floor. Just as I suspected, a catastrophe of kitchenware is scattered across the room and atop Yuuki. She laughs as I pull her up, clutching onto my black coat. She's just as I remember her. The same predictable, clueless snow princess.

How long has it been?

Night casts itself upon this side of the planet sooner than dinner is made, or even started. When I found Yuuki earlier, she was attempting to start cooking, but I, with the desperate help from Cross, convinced her to let me handle it. After all of these years, the girl still hasn't perfected her culinary skills like a proper lady. Not that I should be talking… there aren't too many men who admit to doing household chores, let alone doing them well.

How long have we been together?

Before we eat, however, I set about unpacking with the help of my two family members. Cross is his usual embarrassing self, often insisting too intently to call him 'Father' but I only do that in my head. He isn't my real father, after all, and I can't overfeed his ego. He knows I care, so that's enough for now. Calmly, I express to him my objections at calling him as he wishes, but that only results in tears. Damnit. I give him a pat on the shoulder, taking the precious ornament he has in his hands away from him before he breaks it. In turn, I also have to confiscate the katana I've had since I was little from Yuuki before she breaks herself.

"Sorry, Yu, you're not big enough to play with grown up toys." Says I as I place them on their holders on top of my dresser. That piece of furniture is placed opposite to the door, so as one walks in, it'll essentially be the first thing he or she sees, an intimidation tactic I learned from my real parents.

"Zero-nii, I'm not that much younger than you!"

"That doesn't excuse your size." I smirk, which ends with a hard punch to my arm, though playful in nature. In actual fact, Yuuki isn't that much shorter than me, not after hitting a growth spurt after we were out of school. She isn't seriously mad or she would've pointed that out.

By the time the job of unpacking is done, we're all exhausted, our stomachs protesting their emptiness. I set about preparing our meals, grabbing the needed ingredients and appliances. My brunette friend, although I'd like to call her something much more dear, sets the table, and our dad preheats the oven and chops up various vegetables. Soon enough we're passing out plates and saying our prayers, then digging into our homemade chicken dumplings. They're delicious, if I do say so myself, but that could be the starvation talking. I haven't had a warm, home cooked meal since the last time I was here.

I take my time eating, savoring it as if it's my last. The carrots and celery dissolve to mush, much like the mashed potatoes, on my tongue, thoroughly chewing the chicken bits to assure all of the juicy flavor is drained out before swallowing the over masticated grub. I don't always eat like this, but it's been so long… it's heavenly and I indulge myself without a second thought, savoring every little bit.

I ask you that all the time.

The sound of a silverware stopping has me looking up, to which Cross's eyes meet mine. He's stopped eating and is now gazing his golden orbs in my direction. I know what's coming, a whirl of Q&A that'll have my head spinning by the time we're done talking. Am I prepared for it? I have to be where Cross is concerned. Does it bother me? Not as much as it used to. I sigh, setting my fork down as well, and getting ready for the onslaught…

That never comes. His eyes, golden as the setting sun, shifts their gaze to Yuuki, then back to his plate. Something's wrong, I can feel it. My eyes narrow in contemplation, trying to figure out just what. My purple irises move to the brunette girl across from me, but she's still eating, seemingly unaware of the transgression between our adopted father and I. Something… something's not right. Obliviousness is her forte, but is it really this extreme in degree? Maybe there's nothing going on at all. I decide to inquire on my own. "How have things been around here?" I ask while picking my fork from off my plate and once again digging in. Both other inhabitants stop dead, lift their heads slowly to look at each other, then at me. Curious, but I keep my thoughts to myself.

"They've been swell, of course, Zero. Why ever would they not be?" Cross speaks, sweat building on his brow. From the steaming dumplings or… something else, I wonder.

Yuuki swallows down a bite of food she's kept in her mouth until now. "Yeah, everything's wonderful. I've taken up gardening with my friend Yori. Vegetable stuff, nothing pretty. Super harder, though, since there's more to lose. I don't know what I'm going to get in to now that winter is around the corner. Yori and I were thinking about something simple, like knitting." Another bite guzzles down her esophagus.

"Wow, Yuuki. That's really boring." I'm genuinely concerned. She blushes, "are you an old woman now? Did you offend a witch that cursed your soul for ten generations?" Something's still up, but I don't press the matter. If it's very serious, I'll find out sooner or later, it's just the issue of patience that I seldom have much of. To my lack of surprise, a blush is all the reaction I got out of her.

Soon my plate is cleared of all edible substances, and if I weren't due for an hour long shower that includes three scrub downs, two wash-rinse-repeats and conditions, a few battles with a comb and nail clippers, and a hunt for a toothbrush, I'd have gotten seconds. I'll have time for more food later, I conclude, living as a Hunter is dirty business in all literal sense. I'll be staying home for a long while this time around, anyway.

We're all done a few minutes later, and we set about cleaning the table. Yuuki and I gather the plates, the silverware, the cups, and whatever else needs picked up, while Cross goes to the stove to get those dirty dishes. I'm in charge of rinsing, Yuuki of loading the dish washer, and Cross says he'll empty it out once it's done with its cycle.

You say eleven years, but it feels so much longer.

There's not much else to do besides wipe off the tabletop, so when that's done I decide it's time for that shower I need.

"Yeah, you had better." Yuuki says, pinching her nose shut in a dramatic play, using her other hand to move the air in front of her. "You smell like death, Zero-nii. You're lucky I could stand it long enough to eat dinner with you near!"

A joke, I finalize, but why does it sound so forced? It's obvious that I reek of blood and sweat, and I assumed she'd be the first to say something, but she's waited all this time to articulate it and even now it seems as though her joke… isn't a joke. If she really were going to rigoler, wouldn't it come out light, sarcastic, or thrown in with a few hearty chuckles. Or is she really insulting me by stating the evident? No, the snow princess isn't like that, so once again I feel that something's wrong. "Are you okay, Yu?"

A small smile graces her features as she turns to walk into the living room with our adopted father. "Of course," she says without looking at me. "Of course, Zero."

Once again, rather curious, but I say nothing and depart up the steps cautiously, down the hall, around the corner, and into the bathroom. It's remained unchanged since the last time I was here, a clawed porcelain and faux gold tub, a bowl sink to match, a pristine white toilet in the corner, and a baby blue rug and bath towel set. The crack in the yellowing floor tile has been there for half a decade, along with the broken toothbrush holder and the smudged stain on the mirror that can't wipe away. Nothing too fancy or too disgusting, but definitely familiar, definitely home.

I turn the water all the way over to hot, knowing that it never gets too hot to withstand because of our antique water heater. While I wait for the cool water to heat up, I take the time to undress and hunt for a toothbrush. When I find one, the water still isn't warm, so I decide to brush my teeth first and foremost. After, it's finally warm enough to turn the shower head on and step into, so that's what I do once I'm done with brushing my teeth.

After weeks without cleanliness, the water feels so incredible, even at only slightly above room temperature.

I lather my hair first, starting at the top and working my way down. My ears, my face, my neck, my torso… god it all feels so amazing, all of it. I would stay in here all night if I could, just letting the water run down to wash away all of the impurities. Maybe if I stay under long enough the liquid will reach my soul and wash out the impurities there as well.

A single moment I spend with you seems dragged on and on, but when I look to my memories and recall it, it's all too fast.

By the time I'm done I've thoroughly scrubbed everywhere and there's not a trace of stink left on me. Yuuki will be pleased, I muse, chuckling just a little bit at the irony.

Newly placed lilacs are on my dresser, the first thing I see when I walk into my room. I don't take the time to dwell upon a suitable explanation for them to appear, most likely they've been put there by Yuuki as she's in love with the idea of the flower representing my persona, and instead go on the hunt for appropriate nighttime attire. I don't have actual pajamas, so I look through my bags with the intent on finding anything semi-comfortable for sleeping. When I find next to nothing expect for a blue T-shirt, I take extreme measures and dump my bag and all its remnants onto my linen sheet-covered futon. Once everything's spread out to where I can see it, I pull out a pair of grey sweats and decide that they will now and for the remainder of my stay here be used as pajama bottoms. They're comfy enough, I suppose.

A pair of black house slippers that I've never seen before sit on the floor next to my bed, nearly hidden underneath. I put them on without a second thought about the subject and reckon that they also must be from Yuuki. Aw, sweet Yuuki, none is more caring than you. If only you knew how much I appreciate all of the little things you do for me. I think I'll tell you, this time, that I do notice those little things, that they do make me happy. Maybe you'll be flattered to know, maybe you'll hug me and say how silly I am for thinking as I do. Maybe, for all of the things I do for you, you'll kiss me…

But that's a selfish thought, perhaps, in and of itself. I love you, and you know this proven truth as you know every line, every vein on the back of your hand. You know, but my feelings aren't reciprocated. I respect that, and respect your boundaries, as I may love you, but it has not driven me to madness. I give you your space, I give you your choice, your choice that isn't me. It isn't me, but I can deal… I can live with your decision.

If only you would realize how much of what I do is all for you. I risk my life everyday so that you're safe, so that you're happy. But I do that not for props, not to earn brownie points from you, but to merely express my love in a unique way, to show you that I'm willing to go to extremes to protect you. Please, just don't be angry with me. I know you'd hate for me to get hurt. But I won't, I swear, because I have a goal, I have my light. That florescence at the end of my tunnel is the warmth my home radiates, the one that leads me through the darkness and gives my eyes something to set on when things seem unbearable. A light to guide me, a light to influence me, a light to save me… that's you, Yuu.

That's why—a yell from below has me jolting from my thoughts. What was that? I stop, and listen.

A series of theatrical crashes sounds throughout the house, painful noises that make my heart race in anticipation. I call down, wondering what's going on, but receive no instant reply. I call again, to Cross, to Yuuki directly, this time already making my way towards my bedroom door. Once again, no reply, but hushed whispers I can barely make out. I open the door, holler again, and this time… I've been heard.

The voice, Cross's is edgy, frantic. "Zero, get down here. Hurry!"

What is it, I inquire to myself. What could it be that's got Cross so panicked, so non-Cross? My heart's thumping so loudly in my ears I'm nearly turned insane with the constant of it, my fear, my weakness, my resolve to continue forward. Not skipping a beat, I race down the hall and jump down the steps in a flurry of flawless movements, just as I've been trained to do, and reach the living room in no time.

I try to cherish every minute like I'll die the next because when I'm with you I feel like I'm in a dream.

A quick, jab-like motion has my head turning to assess the damage.

Red blood turns blue, runs cold, freezes even, at the sight before me.

Eyes bulge with horror, tears of confusion, uncertainty, and frustration swelling within them.

My walloping heart stops instantly, dead in its tracks.

My once functioning brain is unable to will my muscles into action.

What do I do? What do I think? I think I'm incapable of thinking at this point.

For there, upon the floor, lay the unconscious body of the girl I love, her head being nursed by our adopted father. A girl who must have fallen onto the hardened wood floor.

"-ro! Zero!" The blood in my ears must've pooled because I can't understand a word he's saying to me, even as he yells, pleads, screams at me to grab the phone. The phone? Why do I need that thing? You want me to grab it? If you want it so bad, you can go get it yourself! "Zero, please, for the love of god snap out of it!"

Zero, that's me, right? That's who I am? What do you want Cross? Where's Yuu… Where's…?

Yuuki, I remember. Yuuki's in trouble. She needs me, she needs me to call an ambulance.

I do. I rush towards the wall phone as fast as I can, not worrying about being coordinated enough to dodge the walls and various furniture to get to it. "Hello, 911, what is your emergency?"

"My sister, she's…" What is she again? I can't recall what's happened.

The operator on the other end speaks, and knocks me from my continuous trance. "Your sister is what, sir?"

"My sister collapsed!" I finally articulate, heart rate once again picking up. "I'm not sure what happened…"

"Where are you right now, sir?"

I proceed to tell her all of the information she requests or brush off the one's I have no clue about, feeling faint with the emotions tearing me from the inside. I'm not entirely sure how I should feel, but I know I have to see Yuuki, so when I hang up the phone, I rush back into the room in which she collapsed and drop to her side carelessly, but careful enough to avoid impact with her. My concern for Yuuki far out ways that of Cross's at this very moment, so I pay him no heed either. When he look's at me and speaks, my mind is not on the words he forms, but the words that aren't coming from my love's lips.

"Yuuki…" I whisper. "Yuuki," Louder this time. "Are you okay? Will you say something, anything, please? Yuuki…"

But she wouldn't… couldn't.

By the time the ambulance arrives, they have to pry Yuuki out of my arms to put her on the stretcher. The realization of the severity of the situation hits when I take a long look at the red and blue lights flashing through the windows, and the sirens of the unneeded police cars. Tears, previously unshed, cascaded down my pale cheeks, staining.

What is going on?

What's going to happen? I think as I'm lead into the back of the ambulance with the unconscious Yuuki. Her peaceful face is enough to remind me of death… death that is soon to come. No tears, but more hopelessness. The irony of a cold-blooded murderer, someone who's been trained to kill without remorse, mourning for anyone nearly has me laughing at myself in disgust. But I don't laugh because it's Yuuki.

Like you're not real… I'm not… and this, us, isn't either.

I grab her hand, chilly to the touch, and keep it wrapped in mine all the way to the hospital. Cross, who followed the ambulance with his car all the way here, and I must sit in the waiting room while Yuuki's being looking at in the ER room, but in my head I'm still grasping it. Each second that ticks by I'm waiting to feel her again, so that I know she's okay, but I have to wait… and wait… and wait. I close out the noises from my ear, the images from my eyes, even the smells, and focus soulfully on the memory of Yuuki's hand in mine.

Cross is ignored, the amount of time I spend in the waiting room is also ignored. Nothing matters to me now except that one thing, and brooding on it has time passing by like a freight train, and I'm almost scared to reach out and stop it.

It's strange, you think, the way I idolize you, but to me it's natural.

"Zero, there's something I should tell you…"

At first I pay no mind to my adopted father, telling myself that anything important he has to say can wait until later when Yuuki is safe in bed at home. But he's persistent, repeating my name again and again until I'm forced to look at him just to shut up that annoying hole in his face. "What, Cross? What just fucking happened?" But then, I really want answers.

There's a look on his face, one of depressed and tired agony that indicates restless nights and long hours of worrying. Right away I know that everything I've been wondering about since I got home is about to be revealed. "Yuuki has been… sick for a while."

"Sick?" I question. "What do you mean sick?" Cross is quiet, most likely trying to verbalize a sensible way to relay the information, but I catch on quicker than that. "She not sick, she's just… she just hasn't been getting enough sleep, like you. Her body was just too tired-you know, all of the excitement-and she passed out, but she'll be oka—"

"Zero," he interupts sternly, and my denial of the inevitable comes to a halt. "Zero, Yuuki was diagnosed with terminal cancer five months ago."

"T-terminal...?" My lungs can't seem to get enough air in them, and before I know it I'm hyperventilating and my right side is going numb fast. A panic attack, I reason, and my body doesn't want to sit still. It can't sit still. "What?"

Before I can move, a large hand that lands on my shoulder interrupts my thoughts, but upon realizing its owner, I jolt right into awareness. I look up at him, my neck chinking from (possibly) hours of sitting in one position. Indifference is the only emotion displayed on his professional face, much as gloom is on mine. Although I've been trained to hide my feelings, now, for some reason, I cannot. With a clear voice, though full of penitence, fake or not I do not know, the doctor speaks. "Are you the family of Yuuki Cross?"

I nod, once again not looking or regarding Cross in any manner.

"Yes, we are." I hear him answer the man.

"I'm Dr. Yano, I'm the doctor who worked on Ms. Yuuki."

My body instantly produced enough adrenaline to snap my hysterical eyes up to the man in white and stand, clasping his gown covered shoulders in a desperate attempt to grasp onto reality. "Is she okay? What's wrong with her? Why did she collapse?"

He looks on with his indifferent eyes, deep into mine, as if they're one in the same, but inside I'm reeling—unable to process what's happening and I'm going into physiological shock because of it—and he is calm, although most likely troubled. He sees sick people everyday, watches them die and is forced to put on a face. I've seen my share of sick people too… including people I've loved. I refuse to lose another one. I'm not losing Yuuki.

I love you so much, I'd do anything to stay with you, and I believe you'd do the same.

I tune out again, only listening to bits and pieces of what the doctor is saying, but I tune back in to one thing, and one thing only. "…She only has four months to live, tops, but you may go and see her now. She's asleep in her recovery room."

I don't think I've ever ran faster in my life, even when getting chased by blood thirsty animals who wanted to tear out my throat and gorge on my flesh and pick their teeth with my filed, ravaged bones. I don't think I've ever been so suffocated in that elevator, even when said beasts would get so close as to wrap their disgusting clawed hands around my neck and squeezed. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to see anyone in my life as I am when I walk into the room dictated by the nurses as Yuuki's and actually catch a glimpse of her soft brown hair, her pale, sickly complexion, and the gentle rising and falling of her breathing, much alive, chest.

She's alive. She's here, in reality, and I'm not crazy. She can't just leave, can't just vanish from existence in six months as if she was never even here. I won't let her, she can't.

I collapse in a chair by her bedside. I don't hesitate to grab her hand and hold on to it like a lifeline or an assurance to my sanity, impossibly tight and bruising. "Yuuki," I cry. "Yuuki, how could this happen?"

And how could it happen? Doesn't god think I've suffered enough in my life without losing another person I care about? Does he think I'm incapable of breaking, because right now I feel, for the first time, Like I'll crack under the pressure, but does he care? What if he wants me to break? If he wants to see my soul tortured like this?

"Yuuki, please, please, wake up… Don't leave me… I'm so sorry."

I need to see her beautiful, soulful eyes flutter open and focus in on me, I need to feel her happy smile, and hear her heartfelt words as she talks to me again, just once more so I know that she's alright, and then she can go back to sleep. Just wake up for one second, just one, please…

"I love you… so much."

Even if you don't love me like I want you to, I've decided that I'll always protect you.

My voice is drained, the adrenaline that's been pumping through my system has worn me out and done more damage to me than benefits, and I find myself becoming tired.

But I don't pass out, I stay awake, I stay by her side until she wakes up the next afternoon, even when I have to pound my head against the bed frame to keep me up. I do this because I don't want her waking up by herself, alone like I always am.

Always.

Perhaps my love for you has driven me to madness.

XOXOXO

Alright, here it is. One of my new/old ideas is finally out on this site! I'm very excited to see what everyone thinks of it so far. I know it's just the beginning…

Please review if you liked it and if you didn't, well, tell me what you didn't like!

But if you ARE going to review, here are some things I'm curious/concerned about:

I really need to know if I kept the characters in character pretty well, or if I didn't. If they're too OOC I need to fix it, so PLEASE tell me haha

Kaname isn't going to show up until a later chapter, I want to keep things going slow, so are you willing to wait to see him or would you like to see SOMETHING about him in the next chapter? It won't hurt the story if I do or don't, so reader's choice!

Yuuki and Zero's relationship is obviously a little more than platonic, but can you endure it for the sake of the story? I'm not going to give anything away, but their romance will only last a short while, anyway. AND, in the manga and such Zero and Yuuki are bro/sis but Zero still has a thing for Yuuki, and well, Yuuki has a thing for her "real" brother, so if it creeps you out that Zero still likes Yuuki when they're siblings, I'm sorry. They aren't really related, still adopted, but y'know… it all flows with my story, I promise.

Of course, the Vampire Knight fandom is filled with people who like incest… I mean, ZeroxIchiru, KanamexYuuki, RidoxKaname, KainxAido… You get my point. Not that I'm complaining because some of those I LOVE, but I personally have no problems with weird fetishes. And some people don't even really care that they're related and just read fics with a particular pairing because they like the paring. But for those of you who DO care, please don't worry, they aren't REALLY related in this story. Not even Yuuki and Kaname.

Did I give you all too many spoilers? If I did, I apologize lol. I like to talk a lot in beginning/end notes, but I try to put enough actual story in so that no one gets frustrated with me.

Anyway, thank you for reading! See you in the next chapter!

Yuruki