I'll Catch You When You Fall
Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or anything you recognize. All credit goes to their rightful owners.
This is my first attempt at a chapter story, and this is just an intro.
James' POV
I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop. If Kendall found out that I hadn't stopped, then he would dump me for sure. That's why I had to do this secretly. I desperately wanted to stop, like I had promised Kendall, but I had to do it to feel normal. I couldn't even go five hours without doing it. Those stories you hear on TV about people's incredible stories are not nearly as easy as they make it sound. It's harder than anything anyone could do.
Before I did it, I sank to the bathroom floor and thought about it. I knew that everyone, Carlos, Logan, Katie, Mama Knight, and Kendall would all be so disappointed. I didn't want to hurt them, so I couldn't let them see me doing it. Everyone was out right now, and they all wouldn't be back for at least four hours, so I had some time.
I sat on the bathroom floor for at least an hour, thinking about the consequences of what I was about to do. The more I thought about it, the more hesitant I was to do this. But then I thought about how awful I felt last night, when I hadn't done it in over two weeks. I couldn't even sleep, it was so bad. I had to do this. I quickly did it, and let myself fall into its effects.
That night, me, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were lying on the couch watching a movie. I hated that the movie was about my exact problem. I think that they guys did it on purpose to show me that it was great that I had stopped (Although they didn't know that I hadn't) and to stay strong. I felt so guilty for doing this now, but I knew that I couldn't be strong. I was weak.
"Hey James, you okay? You look a bit pale," Logan commented. I felt like I had been caught that moment, but I used my acting skills to lie.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, although I was lying through my teeth.
"You haven't….. you know, right?" Carlos asked. Again, I had to lie.
"Yeah, I haven't." Why was I such a liar?
"Guys, stop it! He doesn't need you interrogating him!" Kendall shouted.
"Thanks babe," I said. I wish Kendall didn't trust me so much. I wasn't someone to trust. I was just going to hurt him.
At that moment I realized that I was too deep in this hole to stop so easily. This is what my life was going to be. I had dug my own grave.
Okay, that's it for the intro! Does anyone know what James' problem is? Leave your guess in a review! I'll try to update the first chapter as soon as possible. Thank you for reading. Bye!