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THE LOVE I HAD

~REMAKE~

CHAPTER 25

-THE RECONNECTION OF THE LOVE I HAD-

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Tsuna finally waking up from the bed in just after seven days, but all she did was wandering around the room, face looking solemn like she loses something important, the food was also left untouched and she spent most of her time standing by the window as if she was looking at something, staring at the sunset as if waiting for someone, but the thing is –

"SIR!YOU CANNOT ENTER!" the nurse shouted desperately. And a bump was heard when someone slam open the door.

"Oiii…herbivore…" and Tsuna turn to the sound of the seething voice with neither emotion on her face nor she says anything before her stares moved to the window.

"Don't treat me like I do not exist, you herbivore." His voice was down and low and threatening. He was furious. The nurse who was there immediately closed the door leaving the two inside the room. She doesn't want to interfere in their problem anymore. The last time she tried to prevent something happen; she was knocked to unconsciousness by the young prosecutor. And soon after that, Dr. Shamal immediately discharge him to avoid any more bad things happen in the hospital. But since then, he still comes to create havoc during visiting hours.

What the hell was wrong with this couple? Hana thought to herself. It was known to all of them that male patient loved the girl, as he has always waited for her, for a month! But now, since she wakes up, everything turning upside down. What's going on? And it just seven days!

The nurse in charge felt like ripping off her hairs and cap as she always ended as their intermediate channel.

"Tsunayoshi Sawada."

Silent. There's no answer from her and this irked the furious man. He then, grab her shoulder and forced her to look on his face, instead of facing the window like a crazy girl, he demands her to look absently at him. Kyouya was not in his good mood either today. Not ever since yesterday, he had this foul mood eating his soul. It hurt him so much when his stupid sick herbivore, ignores him!

And what pissed him off was that, she was pushing him off the cliff.

"Didn't you hear what the nurses told you? I need rest. What was the difficult sentence in 'I need rest' that you does not understand, Hibari-san…" She said low, and Kyouya was quite surprised that this herbivore dares to talk back to him. And that she addressed him with his surname.

His hand clumps a fist.

For Tsunayoshi Sawada, she found everything not in the right place. Her mind was still in her dream where she kissed Hibari back, but she wished it could just stop there.

They kissed – and for that one thing, she cannot forgive herself. She felt guilty for some reason she does not know how to describe and it did not happen immediately. She wakes up the next day and find herself suddenly changed into a complete stranger to herself. She felt something was… off. And it was totally off.

Kyouya loving her was not even in her conscious mind. She lied to him far too much, and she doesn't know how to put it when Kyouya suddenly kissed her when she wakes up. Wrong! It was forced on her. Kyouya didn't love her…

"It's not real," she hissed.

"What was not real? Tell me." Kyouya asked straight forward, losing his calmness.

"The kiss," she paused, "and you are having delusion. You did not love me, Hibari-san."

Kyouya was speechless. 'Delusion? Does she even understand what delusion means?'

"What are you trying to teach me, stupid herbivore? Don't make me crazier than I already am right now," he said low and steady, trying to hide his raging heart. His heart was pumping faster and faster with anger.

"You don't know what lies ahead if you fall for me. I'm not good for you."She said gently, but she didn't realize that her words had makes the dark haired man mad. I am fine enough to be the only one who loves you. I did not hope for you to love me back.

"What? Because you're blind? Do I even care about that?" his voice deeper and darker.

"No. It was you who is blind."

"What? Now, I am the blind?" he said with incredulity look on his stoic face. "Look Tsunayoshi, I don't care whatever you've been thinking foolishly, but one thing for sure is that my love for you is not a delusion."

"How can you be so sure? You didn't love me. You love Cielo, the one whom you fall for before, but I'm Tsunayoshi …" her words was cut off when she suddenly felt a force pushing her down to her bed. She winced a bit when her head knocked the edge of the table and she was about to retort back when she felt something warm breezed her nose.

"Oh, so, this is all about her? That herbivore called Cielo?" He hissed in raged, pressing her small wrist harshly to the soft bed sheet until she winced in her small voice. "Did you enjoy it?" Kyouya Hibari hissed at her again, his voice shaking with anger.

"Did you enjoy toying with my feelings, Tsunayoshi?" He never thought that he could be angry this much towards this blind herbivore, and apparently, he was pinning her on the bed, cupping her mouth with his fingers, threatening the woman to say any more words that could anger him more. He thought she would back down, but not apparently.

"Hibari-san, did you enjoy the kisses with me? Or are you feeling sorry for Cielo…the girl you left behind when you married Natsu." Her look was innocent but her words reek with stench which is why his hand unconsciously struck across her face. Her blind eyes widen at his acts. Her hand wanted to fly to her throbbing cheek, but she forgot that Hibari was gripping them above her head. Her breath hitching up and down again, but this time, the silent tears are threatening to flow down when sudden frustrating feelings surging within her heart.

He said he loves her, but -

His heart was racing frantically, confused beyond belief of why he was attacking her. She was sick and fragile to top all of it. He was trying to figure it out when he saw the girl down him was glaring up at him with glassy brown eyes. He just realized that he just slapped her.

He looked down to her with mounting disappointment in himself; he can't bear seeing her drenched in tears because he was so in love with her. He loves her so much – and – that's why he slapped her. It was unintentional. He treasured her –but how come – why did she resisted him so much like he was a dirt on earth. Nobody in this world dares to give him that kind of stares. Or, maybe it was because; his love for this one person was too deep that he founds everything that she did is too painful to accept. He cannot take it.

But his usual mind cannot suppress the anger that surging now.

"Don't try to involve her in this matter. She was not in my sight anymore." His voice trembling with anger and Tsuna's feeling just grew sadder. She tried to move about under him but she was too weak to win over the healthy guy who was pinning her roughly to the bed. Her breathing now was uneven.

"She had - always involved, Hibari-san!" Tsuna tried to breathe out over her sad feeling, "It just that, you don't want to accept her!" She retorted back and shouted loudly as she could. Tears she tried to endure also flowing down with the silent sob.

"Shut up! Stop talking about that herbivore," he growled deeply.

But that didn't stop Tsuna from saying the rest, "That herbivore was me, Hibari-san. But you – tried to shove her away from you..."

He stared down at her with the shock of disbelief on his face. What?

Kyouya Hibari grunting inwardly seeing her face wet from the tears, hand clenched into a fist, digesting her words. Fuck.

It's not like that.

This was all just misunderstanding from her side.

He realized the position he put her in and that she was crying below him. And he cannot deny what was said. It was true, half of it. He felt wrong. He was on top of the sick girl and trying to attack her as if she was an enemy, whilst it was not all like that.

He loves her. He needs her…

Sudden shame filled him and he unconsciously wipes out her tears gently which caused the brunette to jerk away and giving him confuse and surprise looked. He wanted to apologize but the words stuck in his throat. His throat went dry when he saw her crying. He feels bad. His fierce stare turns gentle slowly and he manages to calm himself. His stares are soft and loving again, yet she didn't know.

She didn't understand the reason he was angry at her.

She didn't know that he knows all about it. He knows about Cielo and Tsunayoshi Sawada. There's no need to hide from him anymore.

Having Tsuna crying below him, he suddenly pulled her into a warm embrace.

"W-what Hibari-san?" Tsuna's confusion grew more. She tried to resist him, pushing him again harshly, but that only makes his hold on her body tighter.

And yet if the truth be told, no matter how kind Kyouya was trying to be, right now, the girl was afraid of him, she immediately shrunk herself to the other side of the bed when Kyouya let her go; she curled herself at the edge of the room and clasping her now red cheek in her palm where she had been slap just now.

Kyouya bit his lips for his own fault. He doesn't know what to do when he saw her face. She looked distorted, in a deadly fear and terror towards him. His heart aches and regrets everything that he did. He admits that he was a bit rough just now, but it was because she told him that he was having delusion.

Who can accept if their love was shoved away like that?

He tried to get close to her slowly and when he gets her, he cradles her in his lap tightly, so that she won't get to slip out. He wants to say sorry, but his pride won't allow him. They were even now. She deserved that slap because of her rudeness.

"Did you enjoy making fools of me Cielo? No – supposed to be Tsunayoshi Sawada." He hissed in her ears until she turns red and left her unexplained. "Do you think it's fair for me when you let your sister taking what belongs to me?"

"W-what do you mean?" She tried to get away but failed tremendously.

"I was angry because you run away from me, and when you said I was having delusion." Tsuna was silent. "I thought I cleared it for you, I love you as Tsunayoshi Sawada, not as Cielo. I knew you're Cielo."

"Hi-Hibari san, what stupid who was normal and fit such as you to fall in love with someone blind like - me, " Tsuna swayed with confusion as he held her closely to his chest when she stops struggling, "What – wait, you knew?"

"I know. I was hesitant to believe that Cielo was you, from the time I found you sneak into my study room, do you remember?"

"I – I don't…" she answered smoothly with her innocent face.

"It doesn't matter now. To me, you're only weak herbivore named Tsunayoshi Sawada. You could have fooled me, but I figured you were avoiding me. Again. You don't want me to know that Cielo was you."

"I wasn't. I did want to talk to you. But, you would be very frustrated to know that Cielo is me, and I am blind some more. I know you have hated me for all your life of knowing me."

Kyoya didn't deny it. He did hates the ferocious group in middle school who were always fooling around with him, but things change. He does not know when his heart starts to change. Maybe after they turned high schooler. Maybe.

"I've been putting a lot that you were her, ever since the BBQ day," he cut her off with a gentle kiss on her lips, and she turns red at that, and he was glad there's no more resisting. "The first week when I start living with Natsu."

"Wait, you weren't home for the few months? Weird…because I really heard your voice in the house." Her voice slowed down and frowning with curiosity. Unsure of it anymore.

"Are you sure it was me? You could not see anyway. Maybe you are wrong."

"But I -"

"Well, I did come back and forth from my mission once after a while," Hibari could not tell her that it was Alaude coming in and out from the house to see Natsu well-being when he flee to Italy for his job. But, from what Alaude told him, he had been seeing Natsu long before he knows her. Alaude has the same voice and tone with him, Tsuna would be easily mistaken. Or, just maybe - it was also the scheme Natsu tried to create to make Tsunayoshi jealous of her. Natsu was just that kind of herbivore.

Tsuna would think badly of her sister then. And he didn't like Tsuna to have a grudge. She was scary when she meant to do it.

"Well, probably I was even hallucinating then, what can I do when I just have my ears now," Tsuna said those disturbing words with a smile on her face.

She was too kindhearted. He breathed in her scent, pulling her more onto his lap, clasping her body in his arms tightly, "Hibari-san? What makes you think I am not angry at you anymore? " Tsuna called out for him when he started dozing off, trying to push him off with a little power she had.

"Because I know I am irresistible, you cannot hate me when you have loves me for many years, " Kyoya answered calmly while Tsuna trying to protest with her hand moving away to slap his face. Cradling her tightly on his laps, he took the flying hand to kiss it gently and lick her skin. The woman he loves immediately turns red and her words came out incomprehensible and he smirks seeing her shy face.

"Even so, I also knew that Natsumi lied again when you were missing at Namimori…It was when I saw your handwriting. It wrote 'I'll be going home, for now' but the writing was too neat for someone blind like you. You can't possibly write it. It was someone else handwriting."

"What do you mean too neat for someone blind like me?" she feels offended, but he ignores her ranting. "You remember when I caught you in my study room, you wrote something on the paper, and I snatched it from you. Do you remember?"

Tsuna just nodded with and 'oh' escaped her mouth. That was the only clever thing she knows to say.

"You write something I don't even understood because your handwriting was totally unreadable."

"Oh?" Tsuna takes a long sigh. Luckily he cannot read that. It would be too embarrassing!

"Now, tell me what you write in there." He catches her red-handed.

Tsuna shook her head. "I was just scratching. Nothing to be read."

"Hn..It's alright if you don't want to tell me." He just nods his head lightly, before Tsuna suddenly turned to face him, cupping his face in her warm hands. His eyes blink few times in surprise capturing shy-excited brown eyes staring gently into his steel blue.

"Actually Kyouya-san, I was remembering the time when we were writing to each other, and accidentally wrote something, it was, 'I love you, my Nuvola…'" She said and turned silent before facing away with her ears and neck all turning red.

Hibari smiled gently and tighten his hold on her body. Her body was just too small and soft to be held like that. He was glad that, the brunette didn't struggle to get away again.

"Tell me, when did you start to like me, I meant not Cielo but me," Tsuna asked shyly as she felt a warm cheek nuzzle with hers.

"I don't know, maybe at the table that morning, we ate breakfast, or maybe at the shrine."

"You liked me ever since that breakfast?!" Tsuna freak out. "Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Why should I?" He answered slyly and suddenly Tsuna was red again at the memories where they almost kiss and committed 'crime'. "The letter you haven't read was actually a letter from me, for Cielo, to tell her that I was getting married, but you tore it to pieces without batting an eye. Aren't you cruel?" He huffed lightly, "but I swear I didn't know that Cielo was you…It only started then, when I didn't care whether you are Cielo or not. I just grew fond of you, no matter who you are. "

"But- why didn't you tell me?" She pouts her lips this time.

Hibari rolled his eyes. How can he tell her that he had twice or maybe thrice trying to kiss her when she met her or whenever he saw her sleep on the couch?

"Do you how hard I tried to face you all the time, but to suppress these feelings from showing? I love you ever since I met you in high school…" she confessed shyly…and Kyouya couldn't help but smile at her sweet reaction.

She really loves him, just like the way he really loves her. They have loved each other regardless of what they have. Kyouya stared at her confession in silent.

"Baka (Stupid) Kyouya!" she huskily replied, voice muffled against the comforter as she manages to get away from the tight hold, pulling her hands and head back into the comforter like a cocoon, and looking away.

"…"

"…" he was restless, and turning guilty.

"I heard your voice, Kyouya-san…" she whispered to wash away the awkwardness Kyouya had to bear; still hiding her red face under the comforter. She was obviously struck with joy. "That's how I manage to survive."

"…" but he remained silence and Tsuna couldn't converse anymore. She felt nervous thinking if there was something wrong with her words.

"Kyouya-san… Forgive me…" and she started showing half of her blushing face. And Kyouya couldn't resist the fact that she was too cute herbivore that makes his heart racing.

"Do you think it's that easy for me to forgive you?" he asked in his low voice which in turn making Tsuna misunderstood and looked like she wanted to cry. Tears started welling up in her round brown eyes and Kyouya cursed himself for he had, to say something like that.

He had to resist his eyes from fidgeting just because he saw her tears pouring down slowly.

"…come to me idiot herbivore, then – I will forgive you…" he said composedly with a small faint smirk coloring his pink thin lips.

She opened her blanket fully face – showing Kyouya her wet dumbfounded face with tears.

"Come to me…Tsunayoshi …" Kyouya said while running his thumb on her face wiping her tears away. Her 'still chubby' cheek becomes redder when he calls her by name.

"Don't say that…so casually…" She whispered feeling embarrassed, wanting to hide under her blanket again, just to get caught by the wrist. Her face reddens more as he clutched tighter.

"I knew you love me so much, stupid herbivore." He knows because, he can only love someone who was crazily in love with him, and he loves her like crazy too.

"Do you need to embarrass me that far?" she couldn't fight those strong hold and thrilling tears threatening to fall again.

"Why are you crying?" Kyouya asked emotionlessly, eyes frowning deeper as he slides a hand through the soft brown bed hair and pulled the weak Tsuna slowly to a sitting stance, holding her closer to his chest gently.

She was just silent in his embraces; speechless of his act.

"I'm not…but the tears keeps falling…" She just leaned closer into his tight embrace "Don't hate me…" she whines like a child and is still sobbing, and Kyouya still couldn't resist that adorable face. "I'll be troubling you a lot…"

"I do not…stupid herbivore. Just shut up, and depends on me. Or I'll bite you to death." His words are harsh but Tsuna can feel that he was smiling on her nape. She just knew that it took Kyouya's pride too much just to show her this part of him.

She couldn't stop from smiling, shedding tears, and loving him…She loves him more than she can ever imagine. Having her body held by Kyouya like that, had never crossed her mind. She had never thought of Kyouya embracing her tightly like this.

"I don't want to lose you…" she unconsciously said that verbally, he just smiled, "And don't ever leave me…" she emphasized again as her tears damping Kyouya's shirt even more.

And Kyouya ducks his head to her nape, sucking the blood out of her skin that it create small red bruise, what do we call that, yes, a 'kiss mark'.

"What –" Tsuna was surprised and cup her neck. It's still tingling and wet.

"It goes without saying herbivore…" he said in a lowly romantic voice, then kissed her ear. She trembles in his warm breath against her ear and neck and was surprised when he kissed her full around her face before he passionately kissed her full on the lips. And she complied.

Tsuna was too surprised to say anything. She just knew that she needs him. He was the gear for her to live. She wants him close to her. Forever.

Same goes to Kyouya Hibari, if she can see him, he wouldn't look or feel livelier than he ever been. It's because he can be her eyes, he can be truthful about his feelings, he can love her freely when she can't see him.

"I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll still love you then." he blushed at the words he manages to said spontaneously, luckily she was blind, she can't see him this way.

"I love you too, Kyouya-san…" she said with clarity. "I always love you." She hugs him back and they kissed again.

He heard her soft moans when they were kissing. He felt her heart pounding against his chest. He felt her helplessness and determination.

Most of all, he felt her love.

Her breath against his face makes him demanding more. But what can he do when she is still so sick? He just had to hold back while they were in this stupid hospital, but that was a week ago...

He closed the distance between them before he claims her mouth. He devoured her like there was no tomorrow, even though they were on the hospital bed. But it doesn't matter to him anymore.

He will just beat them to death if they interfere.

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XXX

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Staff nurse Hana who was at the counter walked to the door of the room, putting a sign, 'Don't disturb until further order. Patient needs to rest.' She huffed tiredly but gave out a sly smirk.

"Something tells me this fight is over."

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XXX

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Alaude looked frustrated as he sat in his office staring at the picture of once cheerful Natsu on his table, with a crumpled letter on hand. He had the urge to rip it, but thinking that it was from someone he loves, he will keep it safe. Now, that he cannot see her anymore, he will make all her desires comes true. Her wishes.

He will make sure, Natsu's desire comes true.

"Rest well Natsu, your sister should be living happily after what you sacrificed for her," he gritted his teeth. In fact, you did a little bit too much.

News on 9. We are back to the international news. The world's leading companies, Vongola Corporation suffered huge losses in the event of internal unrest. The parties declined to comment further until more investigations done. But one of the leaders Nougat said, 'Vongola will never go down just because internal conflicts. They will assure that the world economies will not be affected.' The minister of Japan is deeply concerned with economic instability with the world's biggest companies. However making a -

Annoyed to hear more of the news, Alaude shut off the broadcast. He knows better than the scheme they set on.

"Now, the Vongola would be frantic more," He said casually as he sips his coffee.

But, nothing left for Vongola to fret, because Natsumi Sawada has long left the world of Vongola for good, and they will be going downward slowly.

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XXX

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The End of The Love I had.

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