The doctor sat in his TARDIS, pondering. He was rather fond of it—pondering. He was thinking of where to travel to next. He had the entirety of the universe at his fingertips, but…he felt as if something was missing.

The TARDIS hummed knowingly around him.

"No I do not miss her!" the doctor said, seemingly to the wall he was facing. The TARDIS hummed again in a way that almost sounded like a chuckle.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Sexy. I can have just as much fun without her." The Doctor paused for a moment. "But, then again, if you miss her—well she is your child after all—I don't want to upset you." If Sexy had eyes, she would have rolled them. As it was, she made do with flashing her console a sarcastic green. (Once the second color spectrum had been discovered, the human race decided to use all the old color names and pair them with types of speech—such as metaphor purple or anecdote gray—to differentiate.)

"Right then! We're decided—off to fetch River Song!"

The doctor swaggered with macho confidence into Stormgate, the prison where River Song was held.

"I'm here to see River Song," he said to a rather rumpled and tired looking guard at the front door. It was interesting, walking through the front doors of places. He ought to try it more often.

"And who are you?"

"Ah, that's just the question isn't it?" the Doctor said, enjoying his private joke as the guard looked confused and annoyed.

"I'm …John Smith—River's uncle," the Doctor lied, making a mental note to go back in time and register himself as River's uncle, John Smith after he left.

The guard looked skeptical. "Her uncle?"

"Yes, well, I know there's no family resemblance, but her father was a Martian—what are you going to do?" The Doctor bestowed his winning-est most childish smile, and the guard, after many grumblings and checking of papers and files and clipboards, got out her keys and told the Doctor to "follow me, and be quick about it,"

As they walked down the hallway, the Doctor kept annoying the other prisoners, trying to check his reflection in their prison bars. They would complain, but whenever the guard, Shirley 78 as she seemed to be called, looked round, the Doctor was obediently following behind her, looking straight ahead. They reached the end of the hall, and Shirley 78 pulled out a key to unlock the door at the end of it.

"Oh, is this hers, then?" The doctor asked, brightly.

"No," Shirley replied. "She's farther on."

It turned out River's cell was quite a bit further on—down three flights of stairs, a trip in five transport pods, and a room full of anxious-looking Judoon guards farther on, to be exact. The Judoon had all pointed their weapons at the Doctor, who immediately put his hand over the sonic screwdriver in his pocket before Shirley reassured them. "It's fine, it's fine. He's her uncle. Family rights and all."

Finally, they reached River's cell—which was, surprisingly, normal looking with simple bars and a lock. River was facing away from the door, reading a book. Her wildly curly hair just brushed the back of the poufy chair that she was sitting in.

"I'll be standing right around that corner," Shirley warned, "so no tricks. 'Uncle Song.' " She smirked and walked back round the corner.

The Doctor approached his wife's cell.

"Hello dear," he said. "Been keeping busy while I was away?"

Though he didn't want to admit it, the Doctor was rather excited about seeing his wife's face for the first time since he had "died." Though when he met River, he had viewed her mostly with distrust, he now didn't find it so hard to believe that he would love this woman enough one day to reveal his name to her. Perhaps not today—but someday. Plus, she was just so—yowzah.

"Oh, hello sweetie!" River gave her customary greeting over her shoulder before setting her book down on a table beside the chair and getting up. She scooted forward, placed a hand on the dip in her back, and used the other to sort of—heave herself out of the chair.

As River stood for a moment catching her breath, the Doctor had a moment of panic, wondering what type of injury could have caused River to have this much trouble getting out of chairs. Then she turned to face him.

She smiled, walking towards him slowly as the Doctor slowly comprehended—his wife was pregnant.

The Doctor looked on in shock, his eyes glued to River's rather bulbous belly.

"Doctor?" River said, a bit uncertainly. The Doctor did not respond, his mouth slowly gaping open.

"Sweetie, it's not polite to stare," River said as she reached through the bars and closed the Doctor's mouth with a faint snap. She kept her hand on his chin, looking him straight in the face. "How old are you?" she asked.

"One thousand two hundred and twenty-seven years, but I hardly think that is the most pressing question at the moment." The Doctor dragged his eyes away from River's stomach and looked at her face. "River, you're—I mean you—are you…?"

"Yes, I am pregnant. But you're not who I was expecting." A crease had formed between the archaeologist's eyebrows as she let go of the Doctor's chin. "At least not yet. Too young—though not by much." She seemed to mutter the last part to herself. "Ah well!" she said as her expression cleared. "I expect he'll be along shortly. You'd better go before you meet him. Never want to meet yourself in time, do you? Other than creating a paradox that risks the stability of the universe, it's horribly embarrassing. I should know." River shuddered. "I mean—leg warmers? What could I have been thinking?"

"River, I'm not going anywhere. You have some explaining to do."

"Explaining of what?" River donned a highly innocent expression and turned away to sit on her bed.

The Doctor fumbled for his sonic before finally pulling it out of his pocket and (on the second try) succeeded in unlocking the door. He marched over to River and crossed his arms looking down at her. He seemed somewhat angry.

"For starters, who's the father?"

"Who-?" River looked a bit confused, before getting a mischievous look in her eyes. "Well, sweetie, that would be giving you spoilers now wouldn't it?"

"Dammit, Song!" The Doctor slammed his fist against the wall. "I deserve to know, spoilers or not. I am your husband; I think that's worth something at least—though, perhaps not as much as I thought."

River raised an eyebrow at him, cooly. "The baby is yours if you must know. You can end your tantrum now."

The Doctor took a seat in the chair facing the bed with a lame "Oh." He suddenly became very interested in the various bits of dust and dirt on the floor.

There was silence for a few moments, before River piped up. "I am many things, Doctor, including an occasional murderer and thief—but I am not unfaithful.

The Doctor cleared his throat uncomfortably, noticing that all the playfulness had left River's eyes—the eyes that he was having a hard time meeting.. "Yes, well…yes. I should have known. I apologize."

There were a few more minutes of silence, in which the Doctor looked properly sorry.

"Well, then, you've apologized. No need to sulk like a scolded puppy."

The Doctor looked up forlornly.

"I forgive you, alright? You can stop with the wide, adorable eyes now."

"It's just that," the Doctor looked embarrassed and adjusted his collar. "well, you're not going to tell Amy what I did, are you?"

River laughed, and the Doctor smiled in return. He enjoyed her laugh. It was nothing like tinkling bells—it was loud, unapologetic and, quite frankly, sexy.

"No, I suppose not. You can't very well be blamed can you?" River said, already back to her normal, good-humored self. "Not with time being all wibbly for me, and all wobbly for you."

The Doctor again looked at his wife's very pregnant belly.

"So we…" He scratched at his cheek.

River laughed again. "Yes, we do."

"I see." The Doctor turned red. "Where am I? For you I mean."

"Now that really would be spoilers, sweetie," River said, not unkindly.

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I never liked that term. 'spoilers.' A.k.a: I know something you don't know."

River, laughing, stood up, or tried to. The Doctor leapt up and held out both hands for her to lift herself up on. Between the two of them, they managed to get River into a fairly stable standing position. Even after, she held onto the Doctor's hands. It had been a little while since she had seen him last.

"You should go," River said, though she didn't seem very keen on the idea.

"But—will you be okay? I'm not sure a prison full of guns is the right place to give birth…"

"Oh, sweetie. I'll be fine. I'm the woman who killed the Doctor, I think I can handle this."

She halted any further protests by kissing the Doctor firmly and for a long while. His hands gradually left hers and traveled up her arms to grip her shoulders. This was not like the first time they had kissed, where he had been surprised because 1) it was the first time he had kissed anyone in 300 years (give or take a few) and 2) because he had enjoyed it much more than he had thought that he would. If he were to think about it. Which he hadn't. He also hadn't thought about how good she had looked in her green archaeologist dress, with her hair down and a gun on her hip. Yowzah.

From around the corner, Shirley peered out to make sure that the Professor wasn't escaping again. When she saw what was going on inside the cell, her eyebrows disappeared into her hair, and she retreated back around the corner. "Martians," she muttered. "Never know what they're gonna do."

River pulled back from the Doctor just enough to speak, ignoring his sigh of disappointment at the end of their kiss.

"It's time for you to go," she said, though not gripping his waist any less. "You need to go and have adventures and travel in your time line and make sure that I get to be like this."

The Doctor smiled. "I don't think that will be a problem."

"Cheeky boy." She lightly and affectionately slapped him on the face. "Now go, before I stop thinking about what's good for the future and start only caring about what's good for right now." She walked around him and he helped her to sit back in her chair. "And re-lock the cell on your way out," she said as she picked up her book "Or they'll give me laundry duty again. I despise laundry," She said darkly.

The Doctor walked through the cell door, re-locking it behind him as he went. "Goodbye River," he said through the bars.

"Goodbye, love," she said in return.

River Song watched her husband until he exited out of the heavily barred back doors next to her cell like they were a child's gate, setting off a multitude of alarms. Shirley 78 came around the corner, swinging her gun. She saw only River sitting calmly, reading a book.

"Don't think you're fooling me Professor," Shirley said as she re-holstered her gun, "Just because I haven't caught you at anything. Three weeks laundry duty. No excuses."

Shirley swaggered back around the corner and up the stairs as River sat cursing her husband.