DISCLAIMER: Thor belongs to Marvel and Disney. This story is written purely for enjoyment and no money is being made from this fiction.

Author's Note:So I was reading up on my Norse mythology, and I stumbled on this little gem of a story. All it took was for me to read the words "Thor must be dressed as a bride" and "Loki was dressed as a bridesmaid" for me to scurry off to my laptop and start typing. Because let's face it. Who wouldn't want to see Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston in a dress? Enjoy.

The Theft of Thor's Hammer

Thor was in a rage.

After many years with his brother, Loki was used to Thor's fits of fury, which were often deadly on the field of battle. But this time was different. Thor had already destroyed three banquet tables, smashed sixteen goblets, drank two casks of mulled wine, and threw all the chairs in the counsel meeting room through a window. Something had to be done.

The reason for Thor's all-consuming rage was his hammer. It was missing. Normally, Loki would have found this to be a fine joke, one he might even consider pulling himself, but under the circumstances, any further mischief could result in the desolation of an entire wing of the palace. He winced as he heard another bellow of rage come from Thor and the resounding crash of yet another piece of furniture being destroyed. Obviously Sif and the Warriors Three were not having much success in calming him down.

Loki sighed. Ever since Thor had earned the right to wield the great hammer Mjollnir, he seldom went anywhere without it. Loki highly suspected he slept with it on his pillow. However, on a more serious note, the hammer was practically the only weapon that was effective against the giants that were constantly threatening the gods' safety on Asgard. If they got wind that Mjollnir was missing, it would only be a matter of time before their armies were marching on Asgard's borders.

Seeing as Thor was in no fit state to handle this rationally, it was up to Loki to locate the hammer. He grinned. Many on Asgard looked on his skills as mere trickery or a slight of hand, but his powers were much more than that. However, at times even he needed a few tools to enhance his power. With this in mind, Loki hurried to the chambers of Freya, the beautiful goddess of love and fertility. Using his famed silvertongue, he easily gained the use of her suit of falcon feathers and transformed into a great bird.

Satisfied that he could hold the transformation, Loki flew to Jotunheim, the home of the frost giants and into the great hall of their king, Thrym. King Thrym was a huge, particularly ugly frost giant, but Loki was not fooled by his appearance. He knew Thrym was king for a reason, and that one wrong move could mean trouble for him and for Asgard.

He was escorted to the throne room by two hulking frost giants, both of whom threw Loki threatening glances at every step. When they reached the foot of Thrym's dasis, the giant on Loki's left spoke in a gravelly voice, "It is Loki Odinson of Asgard, the Trickster, here to see you my lord." Both giants bowed low. Loki inclined his head.

"Greetings, your Majesty." A smiled played about his lips, but Loki quickly hid it lest Thrym think he was mocking him. Which of course he was, but he certainly didn't want Thrym to know that.

Thrym looked down lazily at Loki. He seemed to be in a good mood, which Loki took as a positive sign. Chances were good that he knew where Thor's hammer was, or at least knew something about it. Loki stared. Thrym was not idle as he sat on the throne. In his large blue hands he was busy plaiting gold thread into what looked like a rope.

Thrym caught Loki's curious stare and chuckled. "They are leashes for my monstrous hounds, little prince. Perhaps you would like to meet them?" His rough chuckle turned in to a bellowing laugh. The guards that had escorted Loki joined in, adding to the cacophony of grating laughter.

Loki allowed himself a smile. "Perhaps another time," he said smoothly. "I come for another purpose today."

Thrym quirked a black eyebrow and fixed his blood red gaze on Loki. "Oh? And what purpose is this, Odinson?" He sneered and stressed Odin's name terribly. The other giants in the room let out a hiss.

Loki gritted his teeth at the assault on his father's name and continued. He decided to be outright. "Why, I come to see if it was you who stole Thor's hammer, of course."

Thyrm let out a bone chilling laugh and Loki shivered in spite of himself. Thrym saw the movement and grinned wider. "Aye, it was I, Loki Odinson, Prince of Lies. I, Thrym, who stole the mighty Thor's hammer. And I have hidden it eight miles beneath the earth where none may ever find it." His voice was heavily laced with triumph and he made no attempt to hide his condescending smirk.

Loki forced himself to smile in return, but inside his anger was boiling at the king's insults to Thor and his father. "And what," he said calmly, " will you demand as ransom for this mighty prize?"

If possible, Thrym's smirk grew even more infuriating. "I shall return the hammer to you only if you send me the lovely Freya to be my willing bride."

Even with all his practice at keeping a smooth face, Loki struggled to hide his shock at Thrym's answer. There was no way they could give into this demand. Loki tried to salvage the situation. "I cannot speak on the goddess's behalf, your Majesty. Is there not anything else you might consider, perhaps something more in Thor or my own power to grant you?"

Thrym's red eyes narrowed. On either side of him, the guards tightened their grip on their weapons. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. "I will have Freya as my bride and nothing else," he hissed, jumping to his feet. Loki forced himself not to react. "Or Mjollnir shall rot in the bowels of the earth and my armies shall overrun Asgard. Think on that, little prince, and take my message back to Asgard. Go, tell your brother of the good news."

Loki bowed low. "I shall, your Majesty. Thank you for your...generous offer."

Thrym laughed his chilling laugh once more and dismissed him with a wave of his hand. Loki wasted no time in hanging about. He hurried out of the throne room and practically fled from the city. Outside the city he once again donned Freya's falcon feather suit and transformed.

His flight back to Asgard was even more swift than the trip into Jotunheim. As he flew pondered their dire situation. Freya would never agree to these terms, and Loki could not imagine handing the beautiful goddess over to that monster. He set his mouth in a grim line. This would take more than just smooth words. A plan would have to be devised. He landed on the palace balcony with a dull thud and quickly shed the falcon feather suit. At once the angry shouts of Thor reached his ears. Loki sighed.

First he would have to tell Thor the news. He couldn't imagine any scenario where that would go over well. Thor would likely want to storm Jotunheim and take the hammer back by force, a plan Loki knew would never work. He shook his head and glanced up at the heavens.

"The things I do for my brother," he muttered.

Author's Note 2: Gods in dresses are coming up soon. Stay tuned and tell me what you think!