AN: YATTA! My first oneshot collection. I always wanted to do this for some reason. Yes, this is SasuHina, but it doesn't really focus on them, more on their children actually. This idea was based by my somewhat AUish fic that I'm planning that is also SasuHina. But these oneshots are AU from my AU fic. I hope that makes sense. I just wanted to try something completely light and humorous since I'm used to dark and angst filled stuff. The first chapter will seem confusing, but more will be revealed in others. The Au fic I'm working on deals with a lot of political stuff, so these stories will also be filled with some decent amount of politics. But it's more about Sasuke's and Hinata's kids growing up in Konoha and how they deal with the hatred.

The first kid introduced is the eldest, Uchiha Hajime. A little kid genius, and somewhat of a spoiled brat. Hope you end up liking him.

Konoha: New home

...

The pouring sky thundered late at night. Large rain drops slammed against the Uchiha residence, giving the illusion of hammers fighting their way into the old manor. Uchiha Hajime, almost five year old son of Uchiha Sasuke and former Hyuuga heiress Uchiha Hinata, watched the angry water splatter against the living room window. Large, black eyes stared, wide-eyed, at the morbid beauty the thunderstorm seems to give during night. The full moon only enhanced the essence of it all.

It was extremely late, he knew but he couldn't sleep. The little boy awoke from what seemed like bombs setting off; he noticed it was only a little lightning clashing at night, but he couldn't get back to sleep. He had tried reading but the sounds outside were too loud for him to concentrate so he settled on looking at the frightening sight.

Touchan is a lightning element, isn't he, The boy wondered, proud that his own father was this cool and powerful.

Sighing from slight boredom, Hajime figured he should at least get to his room. The little Uchiha slowly got up from his seat on the floor, and turned to go to his room, but a sudden boom caused the boy to yelp out in surprise. His feet twisted awkwardly from moving too fast, and unable to catch himself, Hajime grabbed onto the first thing he could touch, which was a coffee table with a lamp on it. His small hands grabbed the edge of the wood; however his weight caused the small table to shift downward. Landing on the floor, Hajime noticed the lamp falling down thanks to the full moon's light and braced himself for the inevitable crash.

He winced slightly once the sound of glass breaking rang throughout the room. He knew that it had woken up one if not both of his parents (he hoped it wasn't his very, very, very pregnant mother). They were ninjas after all, and therefore were more aware of their surroundings than most people. At least, that was what he read in a book.

So, when the lights flicked on, Hajime sheepishly sat up to a sitting position, smiling slightly at his father's narrowed eyes.

"What are you doing, Haji?" Said boy winced at the tone of voice his father used. Touchan never did like waking up from his sleep.

"Sorry," the boy whispered, "I didn't mean to…I couldn't sleep."

Sasuke looked from the window to the guilty boy and sighed, face softening up. "Are you scared of thunder?"

Hajime shook his head. "Of course not," he frowned slightly. "It woke me up 'cause it was too loud, that's all."

Sasuke's lips twitched at the pouty face his son was giving him, and leaned against the living room's doorframe. "Did you try reading?" His son nodded. "Warm milk?" This time, Sasuke fully smirked when he saw Hajime scowl. "Counting sheep?"

"Touchan, I know I'm a little kid, but don't pa…patwonise me."

"Patronize," Sasuke corrected, making his son blush slightly. He jerked his head towards the broken lamp. "Your mother is going to pitch a fit when she sees this in the morning."

The boy cringed at the thought. "Can you help me clean it before she wakes up?" The boy's face brightened considerably when his father nodded.

Father and son quietly worked side by side. Sasuke didn't allow Hajime to touch the glass, not even the little shards, but instead instructed him to get a broom and a wet towel. They finished in ten minutes. Ten minutes too long if you ask Hajime, but he rarely got time to spend with his dad since their life had been turned upside down, so the little boy didn't complain at all.

"Still not sleepy?" Sasuke asked once they both sat on their white couch. He leaned back against the cushion, placing a large hand on his son's black-haired head.

"Not really, you?"

Smirking, Sasuke tilted his head slightly. "Not anymore."

The five-year old giggled softly, knowing that he was the one to blame. "Sorry." But he wasn't, since this was the first time in weeks they got to spend time together. Those damn Konoha people were invading their lives a bit too much for the boy's comfort. "I miss home." The young Uchiha suddenly mumbled.

Sasuke blinked at the statement, taking notice at his son's sad frown and sorrowful eyes. He suddenly felt as if this was his fault.

Sasuke was fully aware that he was once an S-rank missing-nin, one that had been internationally wanted. He never planned on kidnapping the Hyuuga heiress, he never planned on falling in love with her and he certainly never planned on having kids. How did one raise a family while simultaneously trying to avoid being imprisoned and/or killed? Being captured was inevitable, but he only wished Hajime was spared of this fucking situation. How can he tell his little boy that were was no escaping this fucking village. He had a choice, thanks to that damn dobe, but death was not something he wanted for his renewed family. He would bare this place just for them. However, he never considered that Hajime just might hate this place as much as he does.

It really was his fault. They could have hidden better, used better identities, or something to avoid any shinobis. They had a comfortable, normal, and happy life, something Sasuke hadn't had since he was a kid himself. He be damned if something were to ruin it. Only it was, and now they were imprisoned. They could freely roam this village and all that bullshit, but imprisoned all the same.

A small weight shifted on his lap as a small pair of hands held either side of his cheeks. Sasuke blinked confusingly as his son pulled his face down to give him a disapproving stare.

"I hate it here, touchan, a lot. B-But kaachan told me that we're safe here, so…" embarrassed, Hajime glanced down. "I know you don't want to be here either, but…thank you for keeping us safe."

Sasuke wanted to say a lot of things to him, but he could hardly express his emotions without feeling like a bit of his pride was bitten off, so he it showed the best way he could; through actions. Sasuke softly pried off his son's hands off his cheeks. With a small smile the twenty-four year old ruffled the boy's hair. With his other hand, he placed a large hand on his son's small shoulders. It always amazed him how intelligent his four year old is. At such a young age, the boy had a larger vocabulary than Naruto does now. The kid is also extremely observant.

"Did I ever tell you you're too damn smart?"

Feeling a bit arrogant at his father's praise, Hajime puffed out his chest a bit. With a big grin plastered on his chubby face, he rubbed the back of his head. "I know! I'm labeled as a genius for a reason, touchan." He suddenly scowled lightly. "And don't say bad words, kaachan hates it."

The Uchiha winced. "Just don't say them in front of your mother."

Sasuke inwardly grimaced. Hinata is eight months pregnant and therefore moodier and angrier than Sakura on her fucking period. Who knew the sweet, innocent, soft-voiced little princess had a set of lungs on her? Oh wait, he did, since he's been through this once before.

He just decided he didn't want any more kids after the second is born.

"Kaachan is…when will the baby be born?"

Sasuke blinked, mentally thankful for his son interrupting thoughts better left forgotten. "January." The boy glanced down, eyes…worried? Scared? Feeling a bit confused by his son's sudden mood change, Sasuke lightly tapped the bottom of his chin. "What's wrong?"

Hajime shook his head, glancing away from his father's piercing gaze. "Nothing."

"Haji." Said boy winced at his father's voice. There was underlying warning in his tone, and the four year old knew better than to lie to his own flesh and blood, especially when that flesh and blood could easily interpret his lies with a single bloody gaze.

Feeling immensely embarrassed and a tad bit ticked off, Haji's felt his cheek burn with color. A color he knew very well. Sometimes he hated how much he inherited from his mother. "What if…" he swallowed, still not meeting the man's gaze. "What if you guys like the baby more than me?"

Sasuke immediately felt himself stiffen from the innocent question. Flashbacks of his father's stern gaze and proud eyes directed at Itachi and only Itachi caused the older Uchiha to mentally sigh. I should have seen this coming. He admitted to himself. Haji reminded him a lot of him when he was a kid; stubborn, bratty, passionate, smart, playful, and easily annoyed. He once had a silly fear that his mother preferred other kids than him because his own father didn't seem to like him, so why would she? It was stupid, he knew, but his mother's love was the only thing he had to parental guidance. Even now he felt as if his reason was perfectly justified. Not that he would ever admit that out loud.

Yet…he didn't want his son to think that way. The day Hinata told him she was pregnant with their second child he vowed that he would never treat his children as if they were inferior to one another. He knew what that felt like, he knew what that had done to his stability and he didn't want his kids living the life he had. One of them would hate the other, simply because he showed more attention to a certain one, just like how he secretly hated Itachi during his childhood.

He was anxious—worried?—that they could end up having the same complexities that he has.

He was also validated as mentally unstable. Insanity can be inherited. Would Haji or the second kid end up hating this place to the point of no return, just like him? What the hell was he supposed to do if they did? Kill them? Injure them? Protect them? Encourage them?

Sasuke realized just how unstable he has been since he returned this fucking village. His mind, when not around his son or wife, was filled with nothing but blood spilling all over Konoha. He wanted nothing more than drive his katana into each and every single person walking the streets. The elders especially. His mouth would curve up into a feral grin, almost predatory. And his fingers just…itched to grab hold of his sword to be done with his birth place.

No, this was not something Sasuke wanted for his kids. He did not want them becoming raging maniacs whose only wish were nothing but filled with hatred and revenge. He did not want them to feel as if they had to compete against each other just to see who was the stronger of the two. He did not want them having these…fucking issues he has with losing and winning. It was not right.

Looking down at his son's withdrawn face, Sasuke wanted nothing more than to say to the kid how much he loved him, how he would care for them both equally, and how no matter what his family would be the only good and most important thing in his life. Without them, he had no purpose—his life was meaningless.

But he wasn't good with words.

Impulsively, Sasuke lifted two fingers and lightly tapped his son's forehead. Something inside him, something bittersweet, squeezed his heart till it was warm upon realizing what he had just done. Yet, he schooled his face to be impassive, but soon softened at Haji's peeved face. "Don't be stupid." He lightly said, humor lacing his voice.

The little Uchiha's frowned brightened into a shy smile upon looking at his father's face. He didn't have to express it vocally, but Hajime knew what his father was trying to say. "Love you too, touchan." His smile further widened when he saw Sasuke look awkwardly away.

They stayed on the couch that night, talking about nothing and everything at once…well, Hajime mostly talked, but Sasuke listened and commented when needed, fully absorbed by his son's animated gestures. Once he realized his son stopped speaking, Sasuke knew he was asleep. He was comfortably lying on his chest, small fist tucked beneath his chin. Instinctively wrapping a protective arm around his son's body, Sasuke allowed his own body relax and drift off into nothingness.

Despite hating—fucking hating—Konoha, Sasuke knew this place was his best chance at allowing his kids some level of normalcy. And he would bear through that rage just for them.

I think I should change the rating to M. I'm not too sure. Anyway, I hoped you liked the first chapter and continue to read. Please leave a review if you feel up to it, I would really love to read what you thought of it. Oh, Haji's personality will go more in depth in the next chapter. I feel as if I didn't do him enough justice.

DISCLAIMER: I would love to own Naruto, then I would make Sasuke and Hinata together and they could have as much babies as they want. Alas, I do not own and never will. Shame.