I See the Light Chapter 2: Bruce's POV, an avengers fanfic

I See the Light

Disclaimer:
Eh, you know the drill. I own nothing. If I owned The Avengers, ScienceHusbands would be canon as they should be.

Rating:
T

Genre:
Romance/Angst

Pairing:
ScienceHusbands (aka "Stanner" aka "Tony Stark/Bruce Banner")

Lyrics Used:
Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi "I See the Light" (From Disney's Tangled)

Author's Note:
So, this chapter is for those of you who all but demanded a sequel from Bruce's POV. I gotta say, I was suprised by the response that this story got! But, I love it! As an author, I live for feedback! 3 you all!

Also, I've said it before and I'll say it, again! If you have not heard this song, youHAVE to hear it! Seriously! Look it up on YouTube, iTunes, WHATEVER! You cannot call your life complete until you have heard this song!

I See the Light

Now that I see you

It was beyond late-nearly...Checking my watch, I noted that it was nearly one o'clock in the morning. Everyone else is probably sleeping. I doubt any of them will even hear the firing of the gun. Or, if they do, I highly doubt any of them will do anything about it. I mean, it's not like any of them would come running to the beast's rescue, now, would they? Doubtful. None of them has even taken the time to understand me-to see me for Dr. Bruce Banner. No. All any of them sees is the beast within me. I've seen the not-so-discrete looks-the sideways glances...The not-so-subtle attempts to shoo me out of the room when they think I'll become over-stimulated. That's just it. They don't trust me. None of them do. Not one of my so-called "team-mates" or "friends"-yeah, that one's just downright laughable!-even trusts me to know for myself when I'm in control and when I'm not.

I knew it was a bad idea to stay here, at the Tower. I just had no idea why it was such a bad idea. Silly me, I always thought it was because of the unpredictability of people in general. How was I to know that the real reason was because all of my so-called "team-mates" all seem to know what's best so much better than I do. But, I just couldn't say no to Tony. The look in his deep brown eyes was just so...pleading when he all but begged me to stay in New York with him. With that look in his eyes, I couldn't deny him anything. Now, I wish I had been stronger-maybe even less caring, if that would have given me the strength to say no to Tony.

But, now, here I am. Sitting on the floor of the armory. Alone. Holding a Walther P22 pistol in my hands. Fantasizing about a world where I could just put this damn gun to my head and just pull the Goddamn trigger and spray my brain matter all over the adjacent wall-a world where I could just. Be. Done. And, where are all my so-called "friends"? Ha! They're all sound asleep, warm, in their beds. All blissfully ignorant to my internal psychological war.

But, then, one particular thought interrupts my fantasy. Tony Stark. What would Tony have to say if he saw me down here? Fantasizing about blowing my brains out? He'd probably just laugh and tell me how ridiculous I was. Or how I was completely blowing things out of proportion. But, how would he feel if I ever actually succeeded in ending my own life? How would my death affect him? I had to wonder about that. Of all the Avengers, Tony was the closest thing I had to a real friend.

Tony was the one person that didn't try to shoo me away just because he thought I might become overstimulated. He was the one person who actually respected me to make that decision for myself. Tony was the one person that wasn't constantly walking on eggshells around me-constantly terrified of saying the wrong thing and setting me off. I sigh as I think back to the first time Tony and I ever met.

He walked right into the helicarrier and jumped right into our conversation-right in the middle-and didn't even need to be caught up on what he had missed. He was right up to speed with the rest of us. That, alone, was impressive. But, then...as we started working together, in the lab...I got to see his mind at work and it was...Damn! It was impressive. Everything about Tony drew me in-right from the word 'go'. The moment we met, I knew I could very easily see myself becoming far too attached to Tony Stark. The longer we worked together, the closer we got. I don't know how or when or even where it had happened...But, somewhere along the line...I had fallen in love with Tony. That was when I knew I could never stay here in New York. If I stayed, I would only fall harder and deeper for Tony. And...God...If the 'Other Guy' ever...Ever did anything to hurt Tony in anyway...God, I would never forgive myself. I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't let him hurt Tony.

So, I told myself that I would run as far from New York as I possibly could. Away from S.H.I.E.L.D. Away from The Avengers. Away from Tony Stark. Somewhere I couldn't hurt anyone-especially Tony. I had to protect him. Because, God knows the man won't protect himself. But, damn those brown eyes! But, what would they look like when their gaze landed on my cold, dead, body? They may be sad, at first. But, let's face it. Tony will never see me the way I see him. No one ever could. How could anyone ever love a monster? No, all Tony would ever want from me-at best-was friendship. Which, under normal circumstances, I would happily take that over not having Tony in my life at all. But, as it is...Even that's too dangerous for Tony. No, Tony might mourn the loss of a friend, briefly. But, given time, he would come to realize that it really was all for the best.

Speak of the devil, I think I just heard someone come in to the armory. Strange. I thought they'd all be asleep. I thought about hiding the pistol in case anyone saw me with it. But, then again...They probably won't even stick around long enough to find me. "Bruce?" Tony? What's he doing here? Tony's presence changes things quite a bit. Part of me wants him to find me. Part of me has to know how he really feels about me. Would he try to stop me? Will he even try that hard to find me? But, then, another part of me doesn't want to know. That part is terrified that I won't like what I find out. "Bruce?!" The tone in Tony's voice intrigues me. Is he...panicking? I wondered to myself, briefly. Shortly thereafter, Tony stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes landed on me. For a moment he appeared to be frozen where he stood-almost paralyzed. Then, he all but ran across the room to where I sat and all but threw himself to his knees at my side. "Bruce?" He asked, trying to get my attention. Then, he whispered something to himself which sounded like 'My God'...

I can't take it, anymore. I can tell something's clearly bothering Tony. I looked up at him and saw...An entire storm of emotions raging through his eyes. Pain, fear, and concern were the most prominent. Putting my own problems aside, for the moment, I have to know what's bothering him. "Tony? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be sleeping. ... Like everyone else."

I couldn't help noticing that Tony had his eyes fixated on the pistol in my hands. I can tell he knows what I was contemplating and I can see it bothers him, deeply. When he spoke, again, Tony's voice was distant. "Couldn't sleep." His voice told me that his mind was more focused on the gun in my hands than on a witty comeback. His voice trembled on his next statement. "I was worried, Bruce. Terrified, even."

Part of me suspects that I already know the answer, but, I must voice the question on my mind, anyway. "Of what?" When Tony spoke again, the pain in his eyes and the fear in his voice break my heart.

"Bruce, you haven't been yourself, lately." He asserted. "And, don't even try to deny it-you know it's true! Hell, we all do!" He had a fair point. I just hadn't expected anyone to pick up on it. I suppose I should have known better, though, given that Tony Stark was involved in the equation. "The others may be too afraid to call you on it, but, I'm not! Damn it, Bruce! Talk to me! Let someone in for once! You're not alone, anymore! You have friends! People who care about you! Let them help you!" I could tell Tony was becoming more and more panicked. I wanted to calm him down, but, I just didn't know if I could.

I wanted so desperately to believe that Tony was right. But, how could I? The others had all proven him wrong on so many occasions. "Friends? Hm! Is that what they're calling it, these days?" I asked, sarcastically. The last time I checked, 'friends' didn't walk on eggshells around you. 'Friends' didn't presume to know what was best for you better than you did. "Don't lie to me, Tony! I've seen the way they all look at me when they think I'm not looking! The way they always try not to look like they're tip-toeing around me, walking on egg shells around me-terrified of setting me off! They're not my friends, Tony!" I can't believe it! I'm half-way shouting, now. I never meant to take all of this out on Tony. Damn "None of them are." I finished, my voice notably quieter, now.

"Fine." Tony declared. His voice was so full of emotion. He was so passionate about whatever it was he wanted to say that I had to let him finish. "They're not your friends, okay! The hell with them!" Tony's eyes bore straight into me. For a moment, it almost feels like they're driving his point home. Almost. "Take them out of the equation and you've still got me, Bruce! I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere! You know I'm not one to walk on egg shells, now, am I?" To that, I simply replied with a simple non-committal noise. "I mean it, Bruce." I was rather taken-aback by how much Tony's voice softened on that last comment. He sounded so sincere, I ached to believe him. "For the love of God...Just...Just put the damn gun down, Bruce." There's that pleading look in Tony's eyes, again. But, I can't give in so easily, this time. I have to stay strong. "Just talk to me. Let me in. Let me-"

I can't take it, anymore. "Let you what, Tony?!" I asked, exasperated. "Tell me that this isn't the only way out? That my life is too valuable to just throw it all away? That people would miss me if I was suddenly just-gone? That's bullshit, Tony, and we both know it. Everybody thinks of me as nothing more than a mindless beast-and, let's face it..." I sighed. I didn't want to believe all these things but, well...the evidence spoke for itself. "They're right." I stared down at the pistol in my hands for a moment, envying all those who had taken their own lives before me, before looking back up to Tony. "And, we all know every dangerous beast has to be put down, don't they?"

"That could not be further from the truth." As he spoke, Tony reached out a hand to cup my cheek, guiding my face to meet his gaze. Once his deep brown eyes locked onto mine, he raised his other hand to hold my attention. "You are not a monster, Bruce. In case you've forgotten, neither is the Hulk. He saved my life, remember? I will always be grateful to him for that! He didn't just catch me as I fell from the sky-which that, alone, would be more than enough to dispel your theory of being nothing more than a mindless beast-but, he also had the presence of mind to jump start my heart right when I needed it." The raw emotion in Tony's voice moved me deeply. By the time he had finished speaking, tears were pricking my eyes-a few of them even slipping down my cheeks. I completely melted when I felt Tony's thumb start to slowly move back and forth over my cheek, wiping away the tears as they fell. My God...Could this possibly be happening, right now? It is. Tony's here-with me-wiping away my tears. God, it's more than I could have ever hoped for.

For a moment, we just sat there like that-my face in Tony's hands. I stared into Tony's eyes as I realized something. Everything I've ever wanted is coming to pass. I've finally found someone that sees me for who I really am-not the Hulk-but, Bruce...Just...Bruce. And, he accepts me for who I am-embraces it, even. And, more than that...That 'someone' is none other than Tony Stark. The man that stole my heart actually cares for me. I don't care if it is just as a friend. He cares for me and that's all that matters to me. That's when I recall the gun I had been fantasizing with, earlier. It seems so...meaningless, now. I set it aside, pushing it away from me as I do so. I don't need it, anymore. I have Tony there for me, now. That's all I could ever possibly need. After disposing of the gun, I threw myself into Tony's arms as a choked sob erupted from my lips and I felt Tony's tears leaking on to my neck and shoulder as I felt his strong, welcoming arms wrap around me-holding me close to his body. I couldn't help it. All the emotions I had been suppressing for...I don't even know how long, anymore...came bubbling over as violent sobs wracked my body. But, Tony didn't care. He just cradled me close in his arms, holding me as I rode out the mental breakdown I had denied myself for so long.

Finally, I reluctantly pulled myself away from Tony-but, only far enough to look straight into his rich brown eyes-I managed to choke out "Tony I-" I didn't know what to say. I had no way of putting into words how immensely grateful I was to this man for being there when nobody else ever dared to even try. "Thank you!" Was all I could say.

Tony just stared into my eyes as he asked, softly, "For what?" 'For what?'?! What the hell does he mean 'For what?'?! For giving me the one thing I've ached for for so long...For...For being there when I needed him the most...For being a friend...

"For being there." Was all I said as I grasped one of his hands, pulling it away from my face as I gently cradled it in my own-delicately, almost as if it were the most precious thing in the world-in my lap. "For caring enough to reach out when no one else did." I added as I entwined our fingers. "For showing me-beyond any shadow of a doubt-that someone cared." My heart soared as Tony smiled at the sentiment. "That's all I've ever wanted. Just...to know that someone cared." I stared at our hands in my lap. "That someone saw me for more than just 'the beast'." Raising my gaze back up to meet Tony's soulful brown eyes, I added "But, what I really wanted to know was...That you cared. That you saw me as more than just a mindless monster hellbent on destruction."

I saw the tears slipping down Tony's cheeks and worried for a moment that something I said might have upset him. But, then, he reached his hand back up to my cheek and began gently stroking the skin with his thumb. The small gesture sent tremors of joy up and down the entire length of my spine. And, then, Tony spoke again as his voice trembled. "Bruce, I...I have always cared about you." I didn't know where he was going with this, but, I waited on bated breath for him to finish. "More than that, even...Bruce, I-" The anticipation is killing me. "I love you."

I can't believe it. The three words I've ached to hear for so long. And, coming from the one person I longed to hear them from the most. I couldn't believe it. Was this all really happening, right now? Could this be real? Then, I smiled. The true, genuine, smile that only Tony seems to be capable of eliciting from me. I didn't know what to say in response, so, I followed my heart and let my actions do the talking as I gripped onto the straps of Tony's tank top-pulling him close to me-as I gingerly pressed my lips to his. My eyes slipped closed as I waited for a response.

As my lips linger on Tony's, I'm blown away by just how utterly amazing his lips feel pressed against mine. God he feels so amazing pressed so tightly against me. Then, my heart felt as though it could leap right out of my chest as I felt Tony's hands lacing through my hair, gripping the back of my neck as he held me close to him, pressing his lips against mine. Oh God...Tony Stark is actually kissing me! I was so high, on top of the world, I continued pressing my lips to his, seeking more and more of the drug I was becoming more and more addicted to. The touch and sensations I had craved for so long were finally within my reach. Finally, I needed more so I parted my lips ever so slightly as my tongue slipped through to glide along Tony's bottom lip-seeking entrance to the mouth that already haunted my dreams on a nearly nightly basis.

I was on cloud nine as Tony granted me the entrance I sought. His tongue slipped into my own mouth. My God...He tastes unbelievably amazing...My confidence continued to rise as I crawled forward, forcing Tony onto his back on the floor as our lips never parted. I lowered myself down on top of Tony as our tongues danced an increasingly heated rumba. Finally, I pulled away to gaze into Tony's eyes as my hand caressed his cheek. "Above all else...Thank you for helping me see that I'm exactly where I belong." I smiled another of my Reserved For Tony Stark smiles as I added. "Thank you for loving me." I pressed my lips to Tony's once more, lingering just slightly longer than necessary. "I love you, too, Tony." Pressing another kiss to his collarbone, I added "I always have."