This was inspired by this line: "Pepper had never seen Tony actually eat at [a dining room table], and as far as she knew, he only ever sat at the one in Malibu once in all the time he lived there. (It had been in the pre-Iron Man days, and Tony had only sat there to distract Pepper while she worked.)" from my story Romanticism. (begin shameless self promotion) You should go check it out! (end shameless self promotion)

So this story was going to be a oneshot about Tony annoying Pepper while she tries to work, but I got caught up in the story of how they met. So now it's a twoshot. Chapter 1 is Tony meets Pepper, chapter 2 is the titular chapter involving the table. Enjoy :)

Virginia hadn't been working for Anthony Stark long when she realized exactly what kind of job she had gotten herself into. She had been a secretary in the accounting office before she worked for Mr. Stark. She crunched numbers, answered phones, and wrote memos.

She hated it.

Sure, Virginia had always been work-oriented (workaholic, drudge, or enslaved drone were also words her loved ones used freely), but this job was killing her. She didn't even mind the amount of work she had to do, but the sheer tediousness of it made her want to scream. So when one day something new happened, she pounced on it.

"There's an error in these books," Virginia had said, placing the offending articles on her supervisor's table.

He laughed. "Those are Tony Stark's personal records. He doesn't make mistakes."

"Well apparently he did," Virginia countered. "If you'll just look here–"

Her boss leaned forward in his chair. "Listen, kid, if you think your city college education can spot you an error in MIT's valedictorian's math, why don't you take it up with him?" He taunted.

Virginia glared, and with a huff left her boss's office, muttering to herself once she was out that she didn't go to city college.

But Virginia didn't give up. Virginia Potts never gives up. Later that week, on one of the rare days Anthony Stark could actually be caught in his office, she went to see him, ledger in hand.

"Excuse me ma'am, can we help you?" A large bodyguard outside Mr. Stark's office had asked.

"Yes, I need to speak with Mr. Stark. There appears to be a mistake–"

"Nobody's allowed in Mr. Stark's office," he cut her off.

"Really, it will only take a second." She reached forward toward the door handle and the bodyguard, along with his silent but equally large buddy, stepped in front of her.

"Mr. Stark has requested that nobody be allowed in his office," he repeated.

"Well I'm sure when he issued that order he didn't know that he had made a–"

"Nobody," he said bluntly.

Virginia fumed. She was tired of these dead end people at her dead end job telling her she was wrong when she was right. "If you don't let me through that door right now, I swear to God I will pepper spray the both of you until I get in."

The bodyguard glared at her. It was an angry, intimidating glare, and though she wanted to shrink away from him, instead she puffed out her chest and glared back with equal ferocity.

The bodyguard opened his mouth to speak, but before he could,

"Let her in." The voice had come from within the office, and she vaguely recognized it as Tony Stark's from all the news scandals she'd seen him in.

Virginia couldn't stop the small, smug smile that crept upon her face. The bodyguard frowned deeply, but opened the door regardless.

Virginia strode across the room to Anthony Stark's desk. He was reclined in a very expensive looking chair with his legs up on his desk, crossed at his ankles. He wore an amused smile as he regarded Virginia.

"Can I help you?" He asked. His tone was almost teasing, and Virginia didn't know whether or not he actually cared about what she had to say or if he was just bored and hoping she would amuse him.

"I believe I'm here to help you," she announced, opening the ledger to the section she circled in green and placing it forcefully on the desk in front of Anthony Stark's feet.

He remained amused as he pulled his legs off his desk to examine the book on the table. He picked it up, and for a moment, his amused smile turned surprised, then impressed. Finally, he went back to amused before turning to speak to her.

"You found this, Pepperspray?"

"Virginia," she corrected, frowning at the nickname. "And yes. I tried to show it to my supervisor, but he wouldn't believe that Anthony Stark could make a mistake."

"Tony," he corrected her this time, "and I do make mistakes. Usually because I'm drunk when I write out these things. My assistant is supposed to look over them for me before they're submitted, but she quit on me the other day. Just stormed off. I don't know what got into her." The smile on his face said he knew exactly what had gotten into her.

He turned pensive for a moment, then stood up. He walked around his desk, staring at her and running his fingers up and down the small beard he wore. He circled her, looking up and down, seemingly considering her high heels and power suit. She wasn't sure when he was doing, exactly, but she had the feeling it involved him imagining her naked. Before she could say something about it, though, he spoke.

"Alright, you're hired."

"What!?" She yelped before she could even try to compose herself.

"You're hired, Pepperspray. You're my new personal assistant." He said it like it was obvious, then abruptly and openly stared at her face, watching her reaction.

"I… I…"

"You accept! Wonderful. How about a glass of champagne to celebrate? I have some just over here."

While Virginia struggled to figure out what the hell had just happened, Tony had poured two glasses of champagne. Well, you did want a different job, didn't you? Her conscious quizzed her.

"I–"

"You start tomorrow. I'll meet you here at nine AM to sort out your contract. Actually, make it noon. I hate nine AM." He walked back across the room with the two flutes of champagne and put one in Virginia's hand.

"I–"

"You'll get paid double whatever you're making now, but you may end up working some odd hours," he admitted. He smiled, clinked his glass against hers, and took a swig of his drink.

"I–" She stopped herself, this time, thinking. This was crazy. She can't just get hired after meeting the man once. He didn't even read her resume; he didn't even check her references! He can't be serious, she decided. She glanced at Mr. Stark, he looked amused, tipping his champagne to his mouth once more, but completely serious.

Oh, what the hell!

She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He raised his glass towards her, inviting her to tap it with her own.

"I don't drink on the job," she said, placing her champagne on Tony's desk. She turned on her heel and strode out of the room. "I'll see you at noon tomorrow, Mr. Stark."

"Tony!" He corrected, calling after her as she opened his door. Once she was gone, he smiled to himself, thinking he had finally caught a winner.

For the record, this is not 'and that was the day Tony fell madly in love.' It's more, 'and that was the day Tony hired his hot, ass-kicking assistant.'

Next chapter up soon, I hope. My computer has been bugging out on me a bit...