So! New story! Maybe you've read my other stories, but if you haven't, please do. I can always use the feedback. I love the Bourne series, and if he were anywhere near my league, I'd be proposing to Jeremy Renner. I just love him in every single movie I've seen so far.

Disclaimer: The Bourne Legacy doesn't belong to me, which makes me extremely sad. I just used the characters for non-profital entertainment for you!

Enjoy

Aftermath

He didn't know where they were in relation to Manila, he didn't know exactly where they were going, at least for the moment, but for some insane reason, he didn't care. His wounds on his leg and his arm were healing quickly, and, thanks to the viralling out, his mind was already working at full capacity. He didn't understand exactly how it all worked, but he was glad he was off the chems. He'd always hated the routine, had always hated that he had to carry those damned pills with him. But, thanks to a certain doctor, that was no longer necessary.
He leaned backwards in his chair on deck of the fisherman's boat and closed his eyes. It had been a long time since he'd been this relaxed. The sun was shining brightly, touching his skin, warming him to the core. He would trade those snowy, frozen mountains, which he lived and survived on for days, with this climate any day. When he focused, he could feel every presence on board this boat, every move they made. He knew just by looking at the fisherman that he had a gun in his waistband, a knife in his boot and that his son had a knife in a sheath tied around his waist under his shirt.
He'd already put an empty mag in the gun the first night, but he hadn't known what to do with the knives. He couldn't very well throw them overboard, that would be to obvious. So he just let those there, hoping they would not be used against him or his companion.

Speaking of, he felt a warm presence join him up on deck, her small feet tapping softly on the wooden panels. He opened his eyes, he longed to look at her. She smiled, it lit her whole face. He loved that smile. Always had, even before he went rogue. "Hey." he said, smiling back at her.

"Hey, Aaron." she said softly. She sat down next to him and leaned backwards to enjoy the sun. Two days on this boat and not being chased around the globe worked well for her. She'd gained some weight, her skin had tanned a bit, which made her even more beautiful. "Where are we going this time, Aaron?"

His blood turned to ice. His shoulders tensed up, his mind went straight into work-mode. "This boat? It's going to Bintulu, Malaysia. In and about." After that? Cape Town. How? He didn't have a clue. His mind immediately started analyzing. What to do when he got there? How was he going to stay low? How was he going to get to Cape Town?

Her eyes shot open and she looked at him with those big, brown eyes in which he could easily drown. "Malaysia?!"

He nodded, leaned forward and took the map, rolled it open and looked at all the lines he'd traced these, all the dots he'd connected. "From there, we have to get on a flight to Cape Town."

It was almost laughable, the way her eyebrows shot up. He didn't laugh, though. "What do we do in Cape Town?" she asked, her voice sounding more skeptical by the second.

He understood her skepticism all too well. He wasn't too sure either. But he had to try. "In Cape Town...we track down Bourne." He heard how dramatic that sounded and could hit himself for it. He liked humor, sure. But no drama.

But his announcement had shut her up. She stared at him as if he'd gone insane, and he immediately started to doubt himself. If a doctor looked at him like that, he knew he was in trouble. "Track down Bourne? Are you crazy, have you watched the news lately?"

Slowly, his blood began to unfreeze and his Outcome-brain quieted down. He leaned back again, throwing the map onto the table and closing his eyes to enjoy the sun. "I know. But he's the only one I know that has gone through a similar thing. He is the only one who went rogue, in my knowledge. And we have to end it somehow. We can't run forever." He opened his eyes and stared at her, his stormy gray eyes meeting her untroubled dark ones. "I can't do that to you. I won't."

Her eyes softened just a bit, but he knew he'd almost won. Then her lips pursed and she shook her head. "Bourne is dangerous, Aaron."

Suddenly, he rose, yanked her to her feet and pressed her against the railing, his body trapping hers effectively. This was the mode he knew best. The tactical mode. Or fight-mode. He also liked this one the most. He could turn this mode on and off at will, but it could also turn on by itself when he needed it, without him having to think about it. It made him feel in control.
He looked down at her. Her chest was heaving, her eyes filled with a mixture of fear and admiration and her mouth was just slightly open, which gave her an unintended sexy look. "Do you think I'm not dangerous? Do you honestly believe that I cannot kill you with my bare hands if I wanted to?"

She blinked a few times before answering. "I know you can. But you won't."

He raised his brows. He did not want to go there, because she was right. She was his only weakness. "Oh, you really think so?" She nodded and in one quick motion, he put his leg behind hers, turned her and pushed her to the ground. She lay flat in a matter of seconds, with him on top of her. She cried out in surprise, and did he hear pain? If he hurt her... But she opened her eyes already and no pain was detected. Thank God. "You have no idea how many ways I can think of right now to kill you." he whispered hoarsely.

She stared up at him, her breath coming in short bursts, and he suddenly, he was very aware of her warm body moving beneath him. "You wouldn't hurt me." she whispered back. "After all we've been through, after all I've done for you and you've done for me? I don't think so."

His hands were positioned on both sides of her head, his body was pressed firmly against hers and he became more and more aware of that contact when he slowly turned his fight-mode off. "I'm sorry." he murmured, blushing with shame. He pushed himself on his feet and gave her his hand to pull her up.

She smiled, but it was wavering. Did he make her scared of him? God, he hoped not. She was the only one he could trust. "It's okay. You've made your point. But what I meant is, Bourne has been off the chems for two and a half years. That sort of neglect causes severe brain damage. I don't know how he's been able to keep himself alive this long."

Two and a half years? How is it that he is still walking this earth? Aaron raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. "There's something with that guy. He is different. Different than the others, even different than me. And I don't mean that egotistically. I mean, I went rogue, but I had to viral out if I wanted to stop using the chems. But Bourne...Bourne went rogue, and he stopped using it all together. Yet, he's still here."

Dr. Shearing sighed and put a small hand on his bicep. "Bourne was the best and the worst choice to begin Treadstone with. We think - we being the doctors of the lab and I - we think that there's something physically off with him, something that produces the same chems as the pills do. He was never dependent on us for those pills. That's why he could go rogue. But honestly? I have no idea how he's doing it, if that theory is not correct. You were lucky to be off the blue ones for so long. That made it possible for you to go rogue. You weren't dependent on us anymore."

"Yeah, I was."

"Yeah, but those blue pills, they mess with your dependence/independence idea." she explained. 'That's why they didn't even consider to viral everyone out of the blues.'

He shook his head, disgusted. So that was what the blue pills were really doing. Why didn't he think of that before. "You knew about this?" He looked at her sideways.

She turned red and lowered her head. "I did...Aaron, I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you do anything?" He took a step forward and he must have looked as angry as he felt, 'cause she took a startled step back. "You knew all this time, and you didn't say anything? You could've warned me, you could have said something, anything! Why didn't you do it?"

Tears sprang in her eyes and he immediately hated himself. "Because I thought you knew!" He stretched his hand out to her, to soothe her, but she whipped it away. "I thought you knew what you were getting into! I thought you viewed is as a necessary sacrifice! I admired you for it. Of course, now I realize you didn't know, and trust me, if I'd known that you didn't know, I would have done something. I would have." She stared at him and he stared back. He felt his gut clench and he knew it was because of her. He admired her strength, her conviction on what was right and wrong and especially admired the way she handled him. He was like soft wax in her hands. She could do anything to him and he wouldn't complain. "Alright?"

He shook himself out of his thoughts. "Yeah. Alright. I'm sorry." He turned and walked away, leaving her on deck. He descended the stairs to below decks to the berths. Before he completely disappeared, he looked back and saw Marta standing there, staring into the distance, hugging herself tightly. How he wanted to hug her himself. But he couldn't. What happened to the girl Bourne was with, couldn't happen to her.
He opened the door to their berth, reached for a bottle of water and scanned the room for danger while he took a sip.
He and Marta were forced to share one, this wasn't a high-class cruise ship. It was nice enough as it was of the fisherman to let them tag along. They couldn't demand a separate berth, and frankly, he hadn't minded. He'd shared rooms with her before, and he didn't mind doing so again. He liked the idea of knowing where she was and that she was safe. He threw himself in his bunk and automatically slipped his hand under his pillow, where is gun was hidden. He felt safer with that thing in his hand. He closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep. He was going to need it.

"Aaron?" Aaron frowned and tried to drown out the voice trying to wake him. He didn't want to wake. "Aaron, are you sleeping?"

He groaned. Once he'd registered the voice being Marta's, he knew he couldn't go asleep anymore. "Yeah. Soundly." he grumbled. She chuckled lightly. He opened his eyes to her.

"Sorry. I wanted to apologize for what I said." she whispered.

Her apologizing to him? No, no, no, not going to happen. He turned and grabbed her wrist to stop her from moving away from him. "No, Marta. You have nothing to apologize for. I on the other hand...I'm sorry that I treated you so roughly."

She smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. "You know, I find it amazing how you could do all that without hurting me."

His brows furrowed. Not hurting her? What was she talking about? "What do you mean?"

"You didn't hurt me. Not once. I don't know how you did it, but you did all of that without once hurting me."

He took a relieved breath. "Oh, thank God. If I'd hurt you..." He was still holding her wrist and she wasn't resisting his hold. He looked up at her and found her eyes. Their fingers entangled in the same way they had after they'd just crashed and both looked at their hands simultaneously.

"But you didn't." she whispered. Their eyes locked again, and Aaron lifted his hand to touch her cheek despite himself.

"I can't..." he whispered. He wanted so much to touch her, to love her, but it would mean her death. It would be so selfish of him to give in. He knew he was THIS close to falling in love and then her fate would be sealed. He shouldn't do that to her. He should leave while he could, give her a chance of a normal life. She was smart, she'd make it.
But he found that he couldn't stay away. The thought of her not being here...was just unimaginable.

She took his hand and looked at him with those honest, big, brown eyes. "What? Tell me."

He was silent for a very long time, in which they just stared at each other. Then he sat up. Their fingers were still entangled. "I-I shouldn't..." But in spite of his own warning, he suddenly pulled her to him and kissed her. She wasted no time to be surprised. Her hands knotted into his hair and she kissed him back, and his insides sang with joy. Never in his entire life had he felt so happy and so peaceful as at that moment, with her in his arms. They broke apart for air and he stroked her face as he looked at her. "I shouldn't love you. It's wrong and it's selfish and I know it." he whispered, and her face fell. "But I can't help myself." She smiled so radiantly that he kissed her again to capture that smile. He wanted to hold that smile with him forever.

"Why shouldn't you?" she asked when they both lay on Aaron's bunk, his arms wrapped around her protectively. She had buried her face in his chest and held onto him tightly. He liked this. He knew it was wrong and dangerous and completely selfish of him, but he liked it. "Why shouldn't you love me?"

He sighed and stroked her hair softly, as if it might break in his hands. Of course, that was totally true. "Things don't tend to end well for...people like me when they fall in love. Bourne lost his love in a car-chase in India because of what he is. The man who was part of Outcome and sheltered me after my training in the mountains, he was send there because he fell in love. You see, when we love, we are vulnerable. We have to calculate the safety of our lover in a tactical plan. That doesn't work out most of the time. We get distracted. My mind keeps drifting to you, and if that happens in a fight...I lose. Big time." He hugged her closer to his chest. "But we also can't help it. Because - no matter how many trainings we go through, how many horrible things we see or do - in the end, we are just human. Which enrages Them - with lack of a better word - beyond believe." He chuckled against the dark.

She buried her fingers into his shirt and took a deep breath, as if inhaling his scent. He shivered. "I'm sorry."

He looked down at her in surprise. "What for, in God's name?"

"For distracting you."

He laughed and pulled her up to take her eyes on his eye-level. "I don't mind, Marta. I'm too far gone to mind."

She chuckled and laid her head on his shoulder. "Aaron?" He hummed in response. "I love you."

He froze and stared at her. Her eyes were twinkling and a small smile played along her lips. "Did you just say...?"

She laughed and kissed his cheek softly. "I did."

He was silent for a while, looking at her in surprise and he felt his heart beat against his chest. He'd felt that before, in a chase, a fire-fight. But not like this, this was different, stranger. Better. Her eyes stopped sparkling after a while, concern creeping in them, clouding the chocolate irises to an almost black. "I – " His thoughts swerved through his head, like he'd never felt before, he wasn't used to this kind of chaos in his head. But one thing he was sure of, one response he knew was the only right one consistent with how he felt. "I-I love you, Marta." It felt good to say it, he wondered why he hadn't said it before.

Her eyes lit up again, and he laughed, rolled on his back and pulled her onto his chest. She steadied herself with her hands on both sides of his head and looked deep into his eyes once more. "I can't believe you just said that. I thought I'd never hear it."

He wrapped his arms around her skinny waist and smiled. He didn't think he had ever smiled so foolishly, so happily. "Well, that feeling is mutual."

She rested her head on his chest yet again and sighed, closing her eyes. He felt her relax on top of him and consequently, that made him relax as well. "You know, all those check-ups I did...every time you took your shirt off, my heart started beating faster. I mean, the others all took their shirts off for the check-ups, but none of them got my heart beating like you did."

"I'll take that as a compliment." He chuckled and traced his hands down her back and up again. He'd said some pretty degrading, stupid stuff when he was in the room with her. That made him feel guilty right now. "I feel the need to apologize. I've said some degrading things, especially on my last check-up, and..." But before he got to finish, his lips were sealed by hers.

"I never minded. I always thought the training didn't allow you to...indulge to your primal needs," she said, chuckling and turning red. It was just that she was this close, but otherwise, he wouldn't have even noticed the blush. "And I thought that was a very civilized way to unwind."

He cocked his head and laughed at the humor of it. "Civilized?" He could imagine more civilized ways to 'unwind'.

She traced a finger past his jaw line, and nodded. "You were a soldier, Aaron. There are a whole bunch of soldiers who would not have unwounded so kindly. On the contrary."

He balled his fists at the thought of anyone hurting her. He would kill anyone who'd even look at her in the wrong way. "Did anyone...?"

"No. Every single one that came into my office were Outcome-trained. You were trained to safe innocent lives, not to rape or destroy those lives."

That came as a relieve to him.
He was familiar with these cravings. Before Outcome, he'd barely been able to control them. He'd snapped once, and that memory will never be wiped from his memory, or he'd have to get shot in the back twice and then nearly drown. The guilt that had followed him from that day had been so extensive...it had been that guilt that ushered him into the Program. We are morally indefensible and absolutely necessary. Morally indefensible sounded nice enough. He didn't like to be defended. He knew he'd be doing things that were above the law. And he wanted to do them. He hadn't cared about being locked up for it. He'd just wanted to forget that night.
Of course, he'd appreciated that they taught him how to put his cravings under control.
But he'd feared for her. He'd known she was seeing the other participants, too. He'd known that they hadn't all always been as morally correct as he'd been, safe once. "Good. Because if someone had hurt you..."

"...you wouldn't have been able to do anything about it." she finished his sentence. "Remember, they all took the yellow-pills, or were blasted sky-high."

He shrugged. He knew that, although admittedly, he'd forgotten until now. It was just nice to think about it. "I know. But that doesn't change what I would've done, if they'd hurt you."

She giggled, which was the most adorable thing he ever heard and he kissed her again. "Well, at least I know I'll be avenged." she mumbled, her eyes closed and the tip of her tongue tracing her lower lip, which made Aaron's heart leap.

A knot formed in his stomach at her words. "Don't say that. I don't want to avenge you. That is, I will avenge you, I just don't want you to die. I care too much about you. I've never cared for anyone like this. Not even myself."

She buried her small, warm hands in his neck and kissed his lips soft and lovingly. He'd never been handled with so much care and love. He still had the scars to prove it. "Then it's time to start caring. If you don't, you'll handle your life with less care, and I don't want that. I want you with me, always."

The sensations she brought up in him were so familiar and yet so new. He knew the rushing of blood in his ears from the adrenaline of the hunt, or the kill. He knew the hammering of his heart of the chase and the escape. But what he felt now, it wasn't exactly the same. This was more...pleasant. It made his stomach turn, and his head light. "Marta..." he sighed. He let his head rest on the pillows and closed his eyes, comforted by her warm body in his arms. He knew he would be able to sleep better tonight. Last night and the night before, he'd been so restless. He never knew if she was okay. "Go to sleep..."

She looked up at him. "You want me to go to my own bunk?"

He tightened his arms around her and shook his head. "No way. You are not going anywhere tonight, Dr. Shearing." She grinned and laid her head back down on his chest.

"I can't complain."
He closed his eyes and warmth spread from his heart to his entire body. He could honestly say he had never felt this...at peace. The warmth made him slowly and peacefully drift off into a state of deep sleep.

"Aaron?" Her beautiful voice echoed through the dark, calling him, luring him towards her. He let her. "Aaron, come to me." He came. Without thinking, without really listening. When she finally came into view, he couldn't believe what he saw. His Marta, tied to a chair and a handgun pointed right at her beautiful head. Silent tears were streaking her cheeks, and all her eyes said was 'sorry'. Who was doing this?

"Who are you? What do you want?" he yelled at the person threatening his Marta with a gun. Shadows were engulfing the man.

A low chuckle. "You know what I want. It's what we all want. The destruction of Outcome. I knew you'd come when she'd call. She's a liability. She's your weakness."

"Byer." Aaron hissed. He should've known. "I swear to God, if you hurt her...!"

"Then what, huh?!" yelled Byer, and he pressed the gun harder to Marta's head. She whimpered in fear. "She dies, you die, we both know it!"

Aaron shook his head, a feeling of desperation coming over him. He wasn't familiar with that feeling. He was used to being in control of a situation. Now he had none. "Just let her go. Please, you can have me, just let her go." he said, raising his hands in defeat. Unbelievable, without even a fight! But Marta was still held at gun point and he wanted that gun off of her head.

"No, Aaron..."

"Quiet, Marta." he begged. "Don't make this worse for both of us."

"You are so weak. Love makes you weak. You had so much potential, Aaron. A shame you let it go to waste like this." Aaron knew from the detached sound of Byers voice, what was going to happen next.

"No. Please, God, don't." he begged. He never thought that he was going to beg Byer. But here he was. Brought to his knees by his own weakness.

A soft laugh and then the gun fired. Aaron screamed his longs out, and cowardly looked away from Marta. She was dead, and he knew it. "You bastard! This is all your fault!" He jumped up and faced Byer, who stepped out of the shadows for the first time. But he wasn't looking into that clean, well-cared-for face of Byer. He was staring directly into his own.

"Yes," the other him said, grinning cruelly, "it ismy fault."

Aaron's eyes flew open and he gasped for breath. He found himself staring up at the dark ceiling in his cabin, gasping for breath. Marta! Was she still here? His arms were wrapped around the warm frame of her and he tightened his arms for a moment, to be sure that she was with him. He sighed in relieve and relaxed back into the bed. His heart was beating a mile per minute and he felt the adrenaline pumping through his system. This was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He knew what it was, he'd just never felt it before. It was despair, fear. He'd never been truly afraid. Maybe a bit unsettled when he was being chased by that pack of wolves, or when everything blew up around him, but not like this. This was agony, fear that Marta might be taken away from him.

Her voice suddenly whispered, "Aaron?" She stirred in his arms and she looked up slowly, sleep and worry in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

He smiled at her and put his hand in her neck to comfort her. "Nothing. Go back to sleep." He was falling. He knew it. His dream proved it. He was her killer. And there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

She kissed his jaw and he immediately felt a calm coming over him. She rested her head back on his chest and her cheek radiated warmth through his body, making him woozy and sleepy. With his hand resting in her neck, he fell asleep again.