"Harley?" called Joker, as he returned to their hideout later. "Harley, are you here? Harl…"

He entered their bedroom and murmured, "Oh."

The walls of the room were covered in blood, which read: Die, Batsy, die! I hate Batman! Death to the Dork Knight! All the Bat's fault! Everything to do with Batman in the hideout had been broken or maligned or scribbled on, and in the center of the destruction stood Harley, calmly packing a suitcase.

She glared as he entered. "I don't really wanna talk to you," she muttered. "Except to say you can have your stupid ring back!"

She threw the grenade pin at him. "And I can't imagine you want to talk to me after I humiliated you today," she snapped.

"You didn't humiliate me, sweets, it was a great gag," he said, smiling. "Completely unexpected by everyone. Funny stuff. I was proud of you, really."

She didn't respond, but continued packing. "You going somewhere, baby?" he asked gently.

"I was packing for our honeymoon at Niagra Falls," she muttered. "But I guess we ain't going now. So I'm packing my things to leave you, once and for all."

"Pumpkin, you don't mean that…" he began.

"I do mean it!" she snapped. "I always mean what I say! I'm not the one who makes jokes all the time, you and your goddamn jokes ruining everything…"

"Cupcake…" he began, starting forward to hug her, but she stepped back.

"Don't touch me!" she hissed. "I don't wanna have anything to do with you anymore, Mr. J! You ruined our special day!"

"Actually, I think you'll find you ruined our special day," he retorted. "I was prepared to go through with the ceremony."

"What would have been the point?" she demanded. "The day was already ruined! Red was right – everyone was right! We just don't work as a couple! It's the Joker and Batman, not the Joker and Harley Quinn! I just need to wake up and accept that!"

"Pooh, you know how I feel about Batman," he replied. "I've told you there's a special relationship between a guy and his nemesis. It's nothing to be jealous about – he's just important to me. I wanted him at my wedding. I don't see how that's any different to you wanting Ivy or Selina at our wedding."

"Because I didn't base our wedding around Ivy and Selina!" shrieked Harley. "I didn't do it as one big joke for them! You just don't get it, Mr. J!"

He sighed and sat down in a chair as Harley continued to pack. "Why is this so important to you, Harley?" he asked, quietly. "This whole wedding thing. Why is it such a big deal?"

"The fact that you have to ask that proves you just don't care about me," she retorted.

"No, it doesn't," he retorted. "I don't see what a fancy ceremony with some old guy muttering words over us, and flowers and cake and all that jazz has to do with my feelings for you. It's all nonsense. I've always thought of weddings as big jokes, pooh. Huge waste of time and money and energy and effort, and for what? Something that really doesn't mean anything when you think about it. Some stupid ritual, a formality, which mostly ends in divorce these days anyway. It's all just a farce, a farce that deserves to be laughed at. I don't understand why something so silly has so much meaning to you."

"Well, I know how seriously you take your jokes, so I don't see any reason why I shouldn't take mine seriously," retorted Harley.

"But Harley, it doesn't have anything to do with us," he replied. "I mean, all that fancy crap, all those solemn vows, and speeches and formality, that ain't for us. I don't care about legitimizing us, that ain't for some guy in a church, or anyone else, to do. We don't need to be legitimate. We ain't got anything to prove to the world or anyone else. We don't need to be married because we're already together. That's how I feel anyway."

Harley had paused in her packing. "See, the thing is, sweets," he murmured, softly. "The thing is, you're already Mrs. J to me, and you always will be. Because you're my personal ball and chain, my little trouble and strife, my special little Harley girl. And you are special to me, pooh. I don't need some guy telling me you're my wife to prove that. You don't need to be my wife because you're already something better. You're my Harley. And she's always been enough for me, just the way she is."

"Mr. J…" she murmured.

"Harvey called me a lucky guy last night," he interrupted. "And earlier today, when I was fuming about Bat…"

"Don't say his name," snapped Harley.

"When I was fuming about…my plans being foiled at the last minute, and I was angry and cursing…the man responsible, and then I saw you in your wedding dress…and I suddenly forgot all about my joke, all about how it was spoiled, and all about him. In that instant, I just felt lucky. Not because I was going to marry you, but because you were mine. And you are mine. And you always will be mine, won't you, pooh?" he asked, gently.

Harley was gazing at him with tears in her eyes. "Oh…Mr. J!" she gasped. "Oh, Mr. J!" she cried, leaping into his arms. "Oh, Mr. J, I love you! I love you so much! Of course I'm yours, and always will be yours, forever and ever, your little Harley girl! Oh, puddin'!"

He kissed her tenderly. "Now I know we can't make Niagra Falls, baby, but maybe I can think up a few equally exciting ideas for our wedding night," he murmured, grinning.

"Yeah? Whaddya have in mind, Mr. J?" she breathed.

"Well, I thought with Batsy out of town, we could blow up a couple buildings!" he exclaimed, beaming. "I mean, with him gone, Gotham's our playground, kiddo! We can run riot! Do whatever we want! Go crazy!"

"Oh…yeah, that might be fun, Mr. J, she murmured, slightly disappointed.

"And then afterwards, we can come back here, and Daddy can rev up his Harley," he added, smiling at her. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yeah, puddin'," she breathed, smiling.

"Then go grab your hammer, kid," he said, kissing her. "It's gonna be a wild night!"

Harley squeaked happily and ran out of the room. She returned a few minutes later, fully made up and clutching her hammer. "Wanna go spread some laughter, Mr. J?" she smiled.

"You took the words right outta my mouth, Mrs. J," he said, grinning. "Shall we, my dear?" he said, holding out his arm.

She took it, beaming, and they rushed out into the darkness laughing together, a truly happy couple.

The End