Sookie Stackhouse Wannabe

Summary: Janie is obsessed with SVM and True Blood fanfiction. She always thought how exciting it would be to be Sookie Stachouse. That is until she became Sookie Stackhouse. I have labeled this fic as TB because I plan on having Godric in it. However there will be aspects of SVM as well. Sookie has big boobs and blue eyes y'all! Rated M for language. I'm not sure about lemons. This is my first fic so we'll see how brave I am. OC, Sookie, Eric, Godric

A/N: I've been reading fanfic for the last 2 or 3 years. I've lost track of time. I'm finally going to bite the bullet and put down stories that have been flitting around in my head. This is my first piece so please review. Hopefully you can all help me improve my technique, grammar, spelling, etc. Also, I guess I'm supposed to say that I don't own True Blood or SVM. They belong to HBO and Charlaine Harris.

JUST LETTING MY READERS KNOW, THIS FIC HAS BEEN RE-REVAMPED. : D

Thanks,

Chapter 1

My name is Janie Graham. I turned 24 last month. I live in one of the only apartment buildings in Olive, Kentucky. It's what ya call a one horse town. There is one high school and the elementary school is together with the junior high. We don't even have a Wal-Mart. Instead we have IGA for groceries and Dollar General for items you can't find there.

There is absolutely nothing to do here. Not that I would do anything anyway. People get on my nerves; particularly the people that live here. I do not enjoy hunting, fishing, country music, or running my mouth about anybody and everybody in town…therefore, I have nothing in common with my fellow residents of my hometown.

I've what some call a bleeding-heart liberal; I call it being a progressive. I am a democrat in a sea of republicans and everyone knows it. I made the mistake of telling one neighbor that I voted for Barack Obama. Now I am the poor deluded village idiot, even by my own family. As if!

So maybe you can understand why I have immersed myself into the worlds of True Blood and Southern Vampire Mysteries. I am an avid reader and when I stumbled upon fanfiction a year ago I never looked back, or at anything else. I used to read two or three romance nevels a week, but I haven't read a book in probably a at least a year. I think it's safe to say that I'm obsessed.

I go to work at a redneck bar in the next town over called Grayson. When I get home at about 3 a.m., I take a shower to wash away the grease, beer, and smoke. Then I sit down with my laptop and commence the transition from my mundane life to that of one Sookie Stackhouse with the occasional OC thrown in for variety. I'll read until I can't keep my eyes open, which is usually well after sunrise. My days and nights have been topsy- turvy for a while now.

Sookie is the bomb. At least she could be if only she weren't so stubborn. But then I guess she wouldn't be The Sook then, huh? At times she seems so intelligent, then act like a completely immature idiot. Such as when she said she was in LURVE with both Eric and Beehl!

I can understand falling for Bill when she couldn't "hear" him, but shouldn't she have gotten a clue shortly thereafter? I mean who would believe two redneck dope heads overcoming a vampire enough to restrain him with a dainty silver chain? Then 'Vampire Bill' just happened to be late enough for the Rats to beat her nearly to death so he could feed her his blood? Seems like she should have known something was "rotten in Denmark". Which just so happens to be where Mr. Hyde is from. Yum!

That reminds me, how the HELL could anyone not move heaven and earth to get Godric to come off that damn roof? He's just too doggone hot to burn. Why would the "creators" give us Godric just to snatch him away? Oh, the horror! All I'm sayin' is that it's just not right. Did Sookie even consider the knowledge and wisdom he could have shared with her after 2,000 years? Okay so he missed the whole Jesus thing. So what? Did he know Boudicca or Charlemagne? Maybe he could have told her if there was indeed a King Arthur at Camelot! But now we'll never know. She didn't even try and telling him that going to the Fellowship wasn't very smart did not help.

I'd love to have someone to discuss my vampire philosophy with but alas, I live in Olive, Kentucky! So I have these discussions with myself. As I read a fic I have to remind myself that I don't have to agree with an author's depiction of Sookie, Eric, or even pitiful Mr. Compton. I don't really mind out of character or OOC. I just have to go with it because, regardless, I still HAVE to read it once I've started.

At first I only read completed fics, but then I started getting a lot of repeats coming up. I'll be half way into the story then remember I've read this already and remember the ending. Talk about spoilers. I can't keep up with the titles I have and haven't read. Now, I've moved on to fictions that are fairly long (at least 60,000 words) but are not complete. Then I'm waiting impatiently for updates, which sometimes never come. By the time the updates DO come around, I've forgotten the damn story! So I have to go back and re-read some previous chapters and go, "Oh yeah. Now I remember why Sookie is glowing!"

Sookie's world is so embedded in my brain that, when I am almost asleep, it's like I hear dialogue between characters. It seems as if I am reading in my sleep. Funny thing is, I don't dream about Sookie. There may be the occasional Eric or Godric dream, but never Sook. You'd think she would be there with her pony tail swinging away and a scary grin on her face, but I guess she's absent from the chapters my mind has conjured during my REM's.

Wouldn't you agree that I'm a wee bit obsessed? Yeah, I think so too. If you lived where I live, near the people I live near you'd find something to obsess about too. If only I could wake up in Bon Temps, LA, and have the excitement, action, and romance (and Viking) of Sookie Stackhouse. I'd be in hog heaven! Wouldn't you?

But, alas, I live in the real world where the most exciting thing I have to look forward to is a trip to Wal-Mart the next town over. Yeehaw.

I came home from work Thursday night dead dog tired. It was 3:20 a.m. and I had just worked from 5:00 to closing. My pups were barkin'! It was time for a nice hot shower and a little E/S if ya know what I mean. (Wishing I could have my own 'shower scene'.)

I climbed into bed and read as much of a 40 chapter fic as I could. Then when my eyes and brain weren't cooperating anymore I shut my laptop and rolled over, dead to the world. Har har.

Thank God there was no running dialogue today; I needed a good night's sleep.

Ample rest did me no good. Before I could even open my eyes I could tell my bedroom was full of sunlight. Confusion and bewilderment are NOT something you ever want to wake to. There should not have been any light filtering through my eyelids because I have covered my windows with black plastic so that no light comes in at all since I work nights and sleep in the day. Not exactly 'Interior Design Magazine worthy. Now all this brightness was just pissing me off! Did one of the black panels fall from a window? Dammit, now I would have to get up and fix it...I hate daylight!

I peeked open one eye, knowing the bright light would hurt my eyes if I opened them too quickly. I froze; this was NOT my bedroom. WTF?

The walls were a happy yellow and the curtains were white and lacy. I sat up in the TWIN SIZE bed. Don't freak out, don't freak out. Where was I and whose bed was I in?

I stood up and and immediately noticed something didn't feel quite right. I looked down at myself.

Where the hell did those big boobs come from?

I am a size 36B. These babies I stared at were more like D's. I looked around the room to see if I could get any clues as to where I was. It looked like a teenager's bedroom. There were kitten figurines and lace pillows. The comforter on the bed was a pale pink color. It looked like someone had puked pastels. It was like the time I took 'Ambien' sleeping pills for insomnia and woke up with the fridge open and raw hamburger in a pan on the stove. Could I have sleepwalked to a stranger's home and crawled into a teenager's bed?

Then I noticed a shirt and a pair of short shorts on the floor. I picked up the top and about passed out. On the right shoulder of the shirt was a logo that I am very familiar with. In hunter green letters it read MERLOTTES. Merlottes? Now I recognized the room. I'd seen it a few times on Sunday evenings on HBO. My head started spinning and then I suppose I did pass out because, just like in so many fics I've read, everything went black.