Moving sucked more than Daisy thought it would, especially when it was to a place as strange as Diamond City. It was her own fault for getting kicked out of the castle, however, and she couldn't go back now. Her parents were right. If she really was old enough and smart enough to make her own decisions, she was old enough and smart enough to eke out an independent living. Besides, she wasn't alone in the whole ordeal.

She trudged up the front steps of the cheap apartment building, balancing six Chinese takeout boxes and two bags of basic, essential groceries. The kind of food they could eat while the kitchen was still full of unpacked boxes. She managed to open the front door with her elbow and her hip, but the five flights of stairs that stretched between her and her destination daunted her. Two hours ago, she would've bounded up them without a problem. After making the same trip dozens of times, all morning, carrying heavy boxes, however, she was not anywhere close to the mood for this.

As she rounded the third landing, she heard two familiar voices bickering about two flights up.

"I said lift, moron!" Waluigi was yelling.

"Chill out, slim-jim. It's not easy walking backwards," Wario said.

"Either switch ends with me or quit bellyaching about it."

"Why, so you can drop it on me again?"

"I told you that was an accident!"

"Accident my ass, you passive aggressive eggplant!"

At the fourth landing she had to stop. Waluigi, Wario, and a very heavy mattress were blocking the fifth flight of stairs. The purple doppelganger had insisted on bringing his own mattress despite the offer to simply share one with her and Luigi. Other than possibly being custom fit to his height, she wasn't sure what was so special about it, or why he was so set on sleeping by himself for that matter. He wasn't exactly shy about physical affection. Then again, neither she nor Luigi had ever spent an entire night with him. Maybe sleeping alone was merely another of Waluigi's quirks. "Beep beep," she smiled, brushing against him lightly as she slipped past.

"Is that enough for four people?" Wario eyed the takeout boxes as he squished against the wall to let her through.

"If you want more, you can buy it," Daisy said. "I've got to make what I have last."

"I spent all afternoon helping you move. For free! The least you can do is feed me."

"You can have my chicken, fatass. Can we get back to moving the mattress?" Waluigi snapped. It was the last thing that needed to go up, and he was as sick of these stairs as Daisy.

Luigi came out of the apartment to take the grocery bags from Daisy. "They started yelling at each other right after you stepped out and haven't stopped since," Luigi whispered when they were in the kitchen, out of earshot. "Not quite the first impression I wanted to make on the neighbors."

"Things will quiet down when Wario leaves." Daisy shook her head. "I'm surprised it took them this long to get at each other's throats."

Failing to find a free surface, Luigi set the grocery bags on the floor and began shoving things into the fridge. "Yeah," he sighed. "It's like they hate each other more often than not, yet here he is… Helping his brother move…"

Daisy sat on the floor behind Luigi and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure Mario wanted to come."

"But he didn't," Luigi said flatly. "Daisy, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Mario loves you. He might be surprised and confused now, but he'll get over it. In the meantime, we have each other." She kissed Luigi on the cheek and then stood up. "I'm going to put the food on the coffee table." As she wove through the box canyons in what would be the living room, she called, "I don't suppose anyone knows where the plates wound up."

"We don't need plates! That's the beauty of fast food!" Wario had finally swapped positions with his brother to shove the mattress through the front door. They only dragged it far enough into the front hallway to close the door before dropping it against a wall. As Wario passed Waluigi, the taller one cuffed him in the back of the skull. Wario picked up his dislodged hat and followed through with a beefy elbow to a skinny shin.

Waluigi simply chuckled, picked up the black garbage bag he'd packed his clothes in, and went to drop it off in his room.

Wario hesitated, glancing at Daisy and the food, and then followed Waluigi. "Hey…" he began once the bedroom door was closed.

"What?" Occupied with shoving a box onto the top shelf of the tiny closet, Waluigi didn't bother turning around.

"Did you tell them yet?"

"Tell them what?" He cocked his head at his brother.

"Don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about."

He crossed his arms and looked everywhere except directly at Wario. "I'm… waiting for the right moment."

Wario smashed his palm against his face. "Walu!"

"What?" Indignant now.

"It didn't occur to you that maybe the day you move in with them is a good time to bring it up? Or were you gonna wait for them to find out on their own?"

"I'll lock myself in my room like I do at home. They won't have to know for at least a week. Then when I tell them they'll already know it's not a big deal, and they won't…"

"Won't what?"

"I don't know!"

Wario pursed his lips and frowned. "And you shouldn't lock your door. Remember the time you got stuck and I had to break the lock to get to you? That was an expensive repair job."

"That was one time. I don't even use bed sheets anymore."

"Tell them." He pointed a stern finger at his younger brother. "Before you go to sleep."

Waluigi tossed his hands up by his shoulders in a surrendering gesture, but avoided eye contact as he left the room. In the living room, he hopped over the back of the couch and landed in the empty spot next to Luigi. He grabbed the extra carton of white rice and started picking at it with a pair of chopsticks.

Wario dragged over a box of towels and used it as a chair on the opposite side of the table. He watched Waluigi with a pointed look for several seconds, but Waluigi maintained his stubborn, false enthrallment with the rice. Rolling his eyes, Wario decided to let it go for the time being. He claimed one of the plastic forks and shoveled a bite of sweet and sour pork into his mouth. "You given any thought to what you're gonna do next, Princess?" Only Wario could say a title of respect with such natural derision.

Daisy flinched at the title as much as at Wario's habit of talking without swallowing. "I figure it's going to take us the rest of the weekend to get this place straightened up. After that, I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to find a job somewhere." She looked at Luigi. They were both completely new to Diamond City, but at least Luigi had a specific set of useful skills. Daisy wasn't even sure what she wanted to do, much less what she would or could do.

Waluigi propped one foot on the corner of the table and draped a long arm across Luigi and Daisy's shoulders. "Does that mean I get to be your sugar daddy until you're on your feet?" He grinned.

Luigi blushed and swallowed his mouthful of food with an audible gulp. Wario hadn't shown any inclination to judge the trio's unique romantic situation, but the attention drawn from Waluigi's shameless PDA was a little too much for the shier half of the Mario brothers. Luigi had a sneaking suspicion that sometimes Waluigi did it for the sole purpose of flustering him. He was the kind of guy who would pull a person's hair and call it flirting, after all.

"Be our sugar daddy with what, exactly?" Daisy raised a teasing eyebrow.

"I saved a good chunk of money freeloading off of Wario for four years."

"Wait, what?" Wario's eyes narrowed.

"It's too late to get upset about it now." Waluigi took a very smug bite of his rice.

Wario snatched the untouched carton of cashew chicken from Waluigi's side of the table. "I'm eating your chicken."

Scrawny shoulders drew up in a shrug. "Fine. I already said you could have it."

"And you're paying me back for the TV you wrecked."

Waluigi froze with the chopsticks halfway to his mouth.

"Haha! You forgot about that, didn't you?"

"What did you do to the TV?" Luigi asked, quirking his eyebrows.

Why did Waluigi's more innocent half have to be so damn cute when he was curious? Looking at that sweet little face locked the lying center in his brain right up. Waluigi would have kicked the box right out from under his fat, stupid sibling for bringing up the TV incident if the other two weren't both staring at him now. Maybe that was the idea, though, he thought as he observed Wario's sly grin. He was trying to make him tell them… "I, um, spilled on it," he mumbled, and then stuffed his mouth with rice until he couldn't talk anymore.

Wario sighed. If Waluigi wasn't going to tell them, he'd have to take matters into his own hands later.

Waluigi upheld the philosophy that the secret to a good lie was leaving out true details, as opposed to creating false ones. It might have worked a while ago, but since Daisy and Luigi had identified the pattern they'd learned how to tell when he was 'leaving out truths.' They'd also learned, however, that the Wa brothers treated goading each other into arguments like a game where the object was to see who snapped first. As such, Daisy decided to change the subject rather than pursue what appeared to be nothing more than Wario being vindictive.

They made small talk until they finished their food, and then dispersed to do some more unpacking. When Wario returned from helping his brother haul the mattress the rest of the way into his room, he found Daisy and Luigi sorting kitchen utensils into drawers. "I'm on my way out. Got an early morning tomorrow." His eyes darted toward Waluigi's bedroom. The door was open a crack.

"Thanks for your help. We never would've gotten the dresser upstairs without you." Daisy smiled and reached out to shake his hand. She felt like she should do something, considering how close she was with his brother, but the pungent man wasn't exactly embraceable.

"Actually," Wario whispered, "can I talk to both of you in the hall for a second?"

Daisy and Luigi exchanged a glance, but followed the man outside.

"Okay." Wario twisted his moustache, trying to decide where to begin. He understood his brother's fears about being rejected if they found out, but giving them some warning had to be better than surprising them with it. "First of all, you need to understand that he wasn't trying to be sneaky when he decided to conceal this… information. He's just much more insecure than he likes to let on."

"What information?" Daisy asked.

"He has sleeping problems, so he takes these pills… Sometimes they have weird side effects."

Daisy took a moment to process the implications of Wario's words. "You mean like sleepwalking?"

"Yeah. Like that. If you hear him doing anything unusual at night, no matter what it is, don't bother trying to wake him. He'll just be confused and irritated. If you ignore it, he'll stop on his own."

"Okay. Thanks for the heads-up," Daisy said slowly.

Wario flashed them both a yellow grin before disappearing down the stairs.

"We shouldn't tell him we know," Luigi said as he watched Wario leave.

"Why not?" Daisy asked. "It might make him feel better, if he knows it doesn't bother us."

"If it embarrasses him that much, he'll get all sulky about Wario telling us. I don't want him moping around his room our first night in our new apartment. He'll either tell us when he's ready, or when he can't hide it anymore."

"That's a fair point." She squeezed his hand. "All right. We'll do it your way." When they went back inside, she found Waluigi putting their sparse collection of glasses away in the kitchen. Most of the stuff in the house was a mismatched merging of Luigi and Waluigi's belongings. Her parents hadn't allowed her to take much with her. She'd gone a long way for this life, but it was worth it. In the aftermath of the exhaustion and stress of moving, the giddiness of the situation finally hit her. She hooked an arm around Waluigi's waist and yanked him into a group hug.

He let out a surprised "Wah!" and almost dropped the glass he was holding.

"What are you doing?" Luigi laughed as she squeezed him and his doppelganger together with all of her strength.

"How did I get lucky enough to have all of the Weegees all to myself?" She smiled. Luigi blushed—sweet, innocent, cuddly. Waluigi grinned—tough, exotic, sexy. She'd never been able to choose one, and she never understood why so many people wanted her to choose when an alternate option existed.

Waluigi bent over slightly, slipped one arm around each of their shoulders, and asked, "You two about done unpacking your room?"

"We have the furniture in place, but we still have some clothes to put away," Luigi said. "Actually, we need to get hangers, but…" He trailed off when he saw the other two smirking at him.

"I'm thinking he means 'is the bed ready,'" Daisy said.

"The b… Oh! Right… Yeah, it is."

"Then let's christen the place," Waluigi said.

Daisy shoved Waluigi off and proclaimed, "Winner gets top," as she ran for the bedroom door.

"Hey!" Waluigi chased after her. "It was my idea! You can't do that!"

Luigi took his time following them. He didn't have any interest in joining the power struggle. They'd wrestle for a bit, try to get him to take a side, and then gang up on him when he refused to assert dominance. Since Waluigi hadn't given him any reason for vengeance today, that projected outcome was fine with Luigi. Besides, between Daisy's athletic physique and Waluigi's stride, he couldn't hope to beat either of them in a race.

000

A few hours later, Daisy and Luigi were both roused from sleep by a loud, long scraping sound in the living room. They heard footsteps and caught snatches of occasional muttering on the other side of their door. "Must be what Wario was talking about," Daisy whispered through a yawn.

"You think he's gonna hurt himself?" Luigi asked. "Maybe we should make sure he's not going to trip or run into something."

"Wario didn't seem too worried about it." Daisy nuzzled her face against Luigi's shoulder.

"Wario doesn't worry about anything but his wallet."

"Mm." Daisy rolled out of bed and went to peak out the door. It was dark, but the light through the curtain revealed a lanky shadow stacking what appeared to be boxes in the middle of the living room. The couch was against the wall at a haphazard angle. As she watched, the figure climbed over the circular wall of cardboard and disappeared inside of it with a dull thud. Curious, Daisy moved closer to look inside. She heard the soft sounds of Luigi following her across the fake wood floor.

Waluigi was curled up on the floor of the box fort hugging a pillow, wearing nothing but poison mushroom boxers. One arm was tucked back so that his temple rested on his forearm and the hand sticking out behind his head twitched slightly. Luigi smiled. He was cute when he was asleep. Neither Daisy nor Luigi had ever thought they would've used such a word to describe the gangly imp, and yet there it was.

"See?" Daisy mouthed, barely a whisper. "He's fine." She jerked her chin at their room in a 'let's go' gesture.

Not two hours later, they awoke again. This time they both shot up in bed as they heard, "Help me… Help me!" followed unintelligible screaming and a chorus of falling boxes. The pair was out of bed and across the room without thinking. A box skittered across the floor and struck the doorframe, leaving a trail of packing paper in its wake. Most of the boxes had been empty, which was fortunate because Waluigi was now buried in them. He squirmed and thrashed, moaning and whimpering in between screams.

Daisy and Luigi shoved the scattered boxes aside and knelt on either side of him. Luigi maintained a safe distance from the thrashing limbs, but Daisy didn't appear too deterred by the threat of a stray slap. "Walgee?" She touched his shoulder, but he writhed out of her grip like she wasn't even there.

"No, no, no…" Waluigi's eyes were open, but unfocused. He rolled onto his stomach and curled into a ball, wrapping his arms around his head. A shudder ran through him.

Daisy put a hand on his back. Every muscle was tight and vibrating beneath his skin. "Come on, wake up."

He whimpered and flipped over again, almost clobbering Luigi with a stray arm. "Nyaaahg!"

"Is he awake or not?" Luigi asked, a little bit frightened.

"I don't think so."

Waluigi screamed again.

"He's not talking to us. He's just talking." Daisy bit her lip. "Wario did say to leave him alone no matter what we hear."

"This isn't sleepwalking," Luigi frowned.

"No, it's not," Daisy sighed. After a couple more failed attempts to wake him, they decided to try it Wario's way and see how things panned out. It wasn't easy sitting by and watching helplessly while he was in such distress, though.

000

When Waluigi finally opened his eyes, the first rays of dawn streaming through the windows stabbed him in the eyeballs. He dug his fists into his eyes and rolled away from the offending light source. I thought I covered the damn window. His arm bumped something that yielded with a soft scraping sound. His eyes blinked open. All he could see was dull, matte brown divided in two by a shiny strip. After the initial confusion, he shoved the box a couple inches and continued rolling until he felt the fake wood floor on his face. All of his joints ached. Sometimes he felt like he got more rest when he didn't bother to sleep. After a few more breaths, he sat up and folded his legs in front of him, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Waking up like this was almost as shitty as simply not sleeping, too. As the day wore on, however, he knew he would eventually be glad that he had slept.

Something disturbed the boxes in front of him. Waluigi cracked his fingers enough to peek through. Large blue eyes crowned with thick, black eyebrows stared back. The forehead was wrinkled with concern and bore the large, red mark that signaled a night spent face down on a hard surface.

"Are you awake?" Luigi asked.

Waluigi grunted a reply and covered his eyes again. His hands rubbed his face as though he could scrub off the veil of grogginess with imaginary soap.

"What was that?" Luigi asked, tilting his head in an attempt to see his counterpart's face.

"How'd y'get in my room…" Waluigi repeated. "Thought I locked the…"

"We're in the living room," Luigi said.

Waluigi froze and lifted his gaze to meet Luigi's. The lower half of his pointy face remained concealed behind his hands. He looked right and saw the window. He looked left and saw Daisy passed out at the kitchen table her underwear. "Goddammit," he muttered and collapsed forward. His forehead landed in Luigi's fleece-clad lap, but Waluigi barely noticed.

Luigi ran his fingers through his doppelganger's tousled hair. "What happened last night?"

Waluigi shrugged half-heartedly, but didn't bother to move beyond that. "I never remember." His voice was muffled. "Looks like you two know better than I do."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Luigi asked.

"Nope," Waluigi said.

Luigi smiled. "You want some coffee?"

Waluigi responded by scooting closer and lacing his fingers behind Luigi's waist. "Pillows don't get up and get coffee," he grumbled.

Daisy sat up, stretched, and yawned. When she saw her pair of Weegees on the floor together, she smiled lovingly. It was always great to see them getting along. Promising her sore butt and lower back that she'd never fall asleep in that chair again, she took it upon herself to brew the coffee.

Waluigi didn't say another word, either voluntary or in answer to their questions, until they were all piled on the couch with hot mugs in their hands. "You have no idea how weird it feels, knowing I could be doing things that I'll never remember every time I go to sleep," he began, staring into the dark depths of his drink. "The first few times I had the night terrors Wario spent all morning bitching at me about how I wouldn't shut up last night. It drove me nuts, because I had no idea what he was talking about, and the more I pointed that out the more he yelled. I finally set up a camera to record myself when I got in bed. Sure enough, every few days, I'd nod off for an hour or so and start… Well, you saw it…"

Waluigi shook his head. "For a while I avoided sleep, since I already suffered from periods of insomnia. One night I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up there was soda all over the TV. The can was on the floor. I still don't know what happened, but Wario wasn't happy about that, either."

A long, slender finger traced around the top of the mug. "The sleepwalking is probably a side effect of the sleeping pills. I figured it was a fair trade-off for the insomnia and the night terrors. At the very least it was a little easier to hide. That was assuming the night terrors had stopped, though. Maybe Wario finally decided there was no point in constantly complaining about something I couldn't remember."

"You should've told us earlier. You scared us half to death last night," Daisy said.

"Yeah, I do hate being a nuisance…" He glared at the air between his face and the opposite wall.

Daisy frowned up at him. "You know that's not what I meant. We were worried about you."

He shrugged. "It's another weird thing for people to gawk at me for… makes me hard to live with… I thought you might change your minds."

She smiled and hugged his arm. "I like you a little strange. You wouldn't be my Walgee if you weren't. Honestly, the most unsettling thing about it was not knowing what was happening."

"We need to get you off the medication," Luigi said from the other side of him. "Then we can find a safer way to get you to sleep."

Waluigi gritted his teeth and winced. "You realize I haven't been off the medication for more than a couple nights in a very long time… "

"Don't be so dramatic. You'll be fine."

"If you insist," he sighed, putting his cup on the table. His arms draped around their shoulders and pulled them closer. It was a silent thank you, because as soft as they made him feel sometimes he had to draw the line somewhere. Recalling how jittery and frustrated sleep deprivation made him, however, he hoped they really could help as much as they thought they could.

A/N: I don't necessarily intend for this to be sexually or violently explicit. I'm just not completely sure that a three-way romantic relationship is considered PG-13/T content, regardless of how explicit or inexplicit I am about it. If anyone knows, tell me. Though I may leave the M rating to give myself more freedom in the future. I intend to make this more of an episodic collection of stories surrounding the main premise and characters, as opposed to one long-running plot, so it's hard to say where it will end up.

I'd also like to give a special nod to CrazeeCanadia. I've always been drawn to creepy looking characters like Waluigi, but her adorable WalGi stories gave me a new appreciation for his little green counterpart.