Just Like Old Times
A/N: Fred and George plus Remus and Sirius equals hell for Umbridge! MUAHAHAHAHA! Take place during Christmas in OOTP
It was after dinner in Grimmauld Place, the occupants off on their own pursuits until bed. Now assured that Arthur would make a full recovery, they all relaxed and tried to enjoy the remaining holiday. Remus entered the kitchen intent on making himself a cup of tea to accompany his new book he had received and was puzzled to see Fred and George sitting alone at the table. They seemed to be poring over a single large parchment laid out on the table.
"Hello boys," Remus said.
"Hey Remus," chimed the twins.
"What are you looking at?"
"Oh nothing Remus," said George in feigned innocence.
"Yea just a bit of homework," Fred added in airily.
"And that right there is your giveaway," Remus smiled. He strolled over to see the Marauder's Map laid out before him. Staring at it, he felt the urge start mapping out possible exit routes which he did whenever the Marauders were planning a prank. He noticed Fred and George looked at each other uneasily and decided to toy with them a little. "Now what do we have here? Another invention of yours?" He asked mildly.
"No …" Fred said slowly
"We sort of -" George looked desperately at his twin.
"FOUND IT!" Fred declared loudly.
George visibly relaxed and started to speak rather quickly in relief, "Yea you know how it is, crazy stuff is always lying around the castle. I mean we being who we are, we love go to poking around. You wouldn't believe this stuff that turns up like this one time Fred -" Remus had held up a hand to stop him.
"Remember to breathe George."
"Right, sorry Remus." George replied weakly. Just then Sirius burst through the door.
"Remus mate I was wondering where you got to," Sirius announced and spotted the parchment on the table. As his eyes widened Remus gripped his shoulder so he would look up and see the werewolf smirking.
With a wink he gently told Sirius, "Fred and George here were telling me how they found this map just lying around the castle." Sirius grinned evilly as he caught on.
"Did you really? Have you shared this with the others?" Sirius was putting on good show of being vaguely curious.
"Well it technically belongs to Harry now, we gave it him in his third year when he was trying to dodge some deranged convicted murderer," Fred answered offhandedly. Sirius rolled his eyes while Remus chuckled, only in Harry's world could that sentence and that tone go together and still be true.
"But we asked him if we could borrow for tonight, we wanted…to…check something out…" George trailed off making it more of a question than a statement.
"Well boys I'm sorry but I simply can't allow this," Sirius said heavily. Remus raised an eyebrow, just what was the dog planning?
"What do you mean?" the twins yelped.
"We are living in dangerous times boys, you say you found this in the castle but doesn't mean it's safe." Sirius answered gravely, "This map is of unknown origins, anyone could have made it. It shows detailed movements of the people inside Hogwarts. Plus it looks like it gives instructions how to leave and come in the castle undetected which can easily be a part of some death eater trap. I'm afraid I have to take this."
Fred and George immediately protested, "But Sirius this isn't a dark object, we've been using it for years and nothing has happened."
"Be that as it may we don't know where this map came from…" Remus could tell Sirius was struggling to maintain the authoritarian voice. His mouth kept twitching like he really wanted to laugh at the horrified looks on the twins' faces. Remus decided to give his friend a break and stepped in.
"Exactly, we don't who created it or why." Remus stated baldly. Sirius turned away and Remus could hear him thumping his fist on the counter behind him.
"We don't know exactly who created it; you see they called themselves the Marauders." George explained with a pleading look in his eyes.
"Marauders you say," Sirius rejoined them. Side by side, he and Remus crossed their arms over their chests so that they almost towered over the seated twins.
"Yes there were four of them, Mooney" Remus bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.
"Wormtail," here Sirius flinched but steadied himself.
"Padfoot," "Dog" muttered Remus while Sirius looked distinctly proud of himself.
"And Prongs." Remus and Sirius looked down for moment before meeting the twins' eyes again.
Sirius pursed his lips, "Well how do we know that we can trust these characters, they almost sound cartoonish don't they Remus?"
"Well the Padfoot one certainly does," replied Remus dryly. Sirius shot him a small glare. Remus gave him a look that said, 'Were you expecting anything else?'
Then the twins decided to abandon all pretense and beg, "Please don't take the map away, we NEED it! The DA needs too! Okay okay we confess! We were using it to plan a prank on the toad! But we won't do it we swear if you let us keep the map. We lied! We didn't find it lying around the castle! We nicked from Filch's office first year! We're sorry! We'll do anything just please for all that is good and holy don't take it."
That did it. Remus and Sirius burst out laughing so hard that tears rolled down their cheeks. The twins stood and stared awestruck while the two high-fived each other.
"We still got it eh Mooney?" Sirius wiped his eyes.
"Seems like it Padfoot."
Fred and George's jaws dropped. "Mooney? Padfoot? You've got to be kidding us! YOU'RE THE MARAUDERS!?" Fred's head fell back with his hands over his face whereas George slumped so far forward that his head was practically between his knees.
"What's left of them anyway," Sirius answered more soberly.
"What happened to Prongs and Wormtail?"
"Prongs was Harry's father James," Remus said.
"Little git didn't even tell us," muttered Fred.
"And Wormtail…well…" Sirius hated breaking this to boys, "he was Peter Pettigrew." Sirius watched as the twins' faces fell.
"He doesn't count as a marauder anymore," Remus said firmly. There was a silent moment until Fred tentatively broke in,
"Does this mean we can keep the map?"
The older men chuckled. "Of course you can!" cried Sirius. "We made it to help future mischief makers."
"By the way" interjected Remus now thinking back to the twins' words, "What is the DA?"
Fred and George looked around to make their mother wasn't near, "It's the defence group Harry started to help us learn defense against the dark arts in properly. He uses the map to send our members back to their common rooms safely."
"Glad to hear it's going strong," Sirius was indeed very proud of his godson. Then something occurred to Sirius, "Who's the toad?"
Fred and George snickered, "Does that honestly require an answer?"
"Umbridge," they all said together.
"We're planning on giving her a little mayhem for the hell she has caused."
"Is that bad?" Sirius asked, half-joking and half-seriously.
"She's taken away everything; we and Harry even got banned from Quidditch."
"We heard about that," Remus remembering the uproar the Order had had at the very thought of that pitiful excuse for a woman having supreme power of all punishments.
"Hence why we are trying to come up with some revenge, as our way welcoming the high inquisitor," George patted the map.
"How far have you gotten?" Sirius asked pulling up a chair.
"We have a few products that should be good to go but we need to find the perfect area to pull it off." Fred explained.
"What did you have in mind?" questioned Remus now seated at the table himself.
"One of the big ones is these fireworks Fred and I made," George answered. "A lot people would say the entrance hall but we want the fireworks to rampage through the school. The entrance hall might cause them to fly outside."
"How about this chamber here," Remus pointed on the map.
"It would be gutsy that's a floor below her office," Fred gave a slight tilt of his head as leant forward to survey the map.
"True but there are plenty of hiding places to choose from and if these fireworks are anything like what I think they are, they should provide enough cover for you slip away." Remus felt a small glow of happiness that he was able to use his knowledge again if only briefly.
"Not to mention if they want to watch the fun, I recommend hiding behind the suit of armour for that." Sirius suggested with his eyes gleaming.
"It might be worth watching her suffer a little bit," conceded George.
"Say," Fred said with a growing grin, "You gents wouldn't possibly be interested in helping us would you?"
Sirius and Remus shared a brief look, why the hell not, "We're in." they agreed easily. George promptly took out his wand and transfigured the long dining table into a large square with Fred and George on opposites as were Remus and Sirius. They spread the map out and quickly began discuss tactics, timing, and escapes. Soon the table was littered with parchments detailing the pranks and their execution. When the twins got up to get water, Sirius stretched and said to the werewolf, "Just like old times."
Remus chuckled, "We might be too old for this Padfoot."
"Nonsense," resolutely declared Sirius,
Remus picked up his water to drink but suddenly stopped. "Maybe we're not," he whispered to the animagus. He tilted the glass full of liquid in the light as if he had never seen it before. "Oh boys, I have an idea."
"What is it Remus," asked Fred as he and George rejoined the table.
"You call Umbridge a toad," he began.
"Yeah so?"
Remus grinned devilishly, "Why not make her a swamp?"