Title: That's What You Get

By: Dark Dreamscape

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. I don't own fairies either, because nobody knows if they even exist. And last time I checked, I don't have a tail.

Author's Note: Weird how Mira matchmakes everyone BUT herself, huh. I know she probably doesn't keep a matchmaking book but hey, this is fanfiction for a reason!

Chapter 1: The Book Without Words

To a certain white-haired, blithe barmaid, love was in the air. Well, it was everyday, but today was special. There was a perfect event today that only happened once a year. Yes folks, it's the perfect day for matchmaking; Valentine's Day! To the victims of Mira's antics... Valentine's Day was the day there would be a convenient vacation or they would have an early hibernation.

Lucy, knowing this perfectly well, decided against staying at home and went to the guild. 'At least Mira isn't here to bother me...' She thought when she looked around to only see a sleeping Master, drunk Cana, an eating Droy, and Nab staring at the request board.

When she heard footsteps, she half expected for Mira to come up to her slyly and make a seemingly offhand comment about Natsu, Gray, or even Loke, but the rhythmic footsteps that came her way were actually from the Gray-obsessed water mage, Juvia. What surprised Lucy even more was that Juvia suddenly rushed forward and hugged her, thanking her at the same time!

Wide-eyed and frozen like a statue, Lucy resisted the impulse to ask Juvia if she was sick and feel her forehead. Instead, she did her best to interpret Juvia's spaghetti-like words into coherent sentences. The few phrases she could understand were: "THANK YOU, NOT MY LOVE RIVAL, GRAY-SAMA," and the like.

Finally confident she could say something without stuttering or sounding like an idiot, Lucy barely asked, "What are you talking about, Juvia?" without seeming like a baby saying its first words.

"Because you're not Juvia's love rival anymore!" Juvia said with sparkling eyes and a big grin, holding up a thick book. Lucy nonchalantly took the book to see what all Juvia's nonsense was about-since Lucy was never her love rival in the first place-and was grateful her eyes didn't pop out of their sockets upon seeing the title of the book.

'Mira's Matchmaking Book
DO NOT TOUCH, OR ELSE!'

It said in neat, cursive letters. For the fourth time of that day, Lucy was stunned; how in the world did Juvia get her hands on Mira's matchmaking book? In any case, what exactly was in that book?! As the blood rushed out of her fingers, Lucy forced them to tentatively open the book to the first page, as if it would swallow her up any minute.

"Juvia, what is in this book...?" Lucy asked while flipping through the book and finding nothing.

"Oh!" Juvia said, remembering something and then starting digging around her pockets, "This light on the pen let's you see what's written, otherwise it only looks blank!" Having said this, Juvia turned to a certain page in the book and shined the ultraviolet light on the top of the page.

"In-progress, couple #4:
Juvia and Gray-WAIT, WHAT?!" Lucy read aloud then screamed in shock. The point being that it took Juvia this long to figure out Lucy wasn't obsessed with Gray.

"I'm so happy~" Juvia continued as if Lucy's sudden outburst never happened, causing the rest of the guild and those coming in to stare at them. "I have no love-rival and Gray-sama-" she was interrupted by a table slamming into the back of her head with the infamous "MAN!" yelled into the now loud background.

"Hm~? Lu-chan, what's this new book I don't know about?" a melodious voice chirped behind them.

"Levy!" Lucy said, not so surprised, thankfully. When the thought got through her, she replied, "Oh, this is Mira's matchmaking book, and Juvia kinda..." Her voice faded, looking for a good word, "Kinda borrowed it!" she decided to say.

"Mira's matchmaking book?!" Levy asked with just as much belief as Lucy and with her mouth hanging open.

"Hey Bookworm!" a deep voice bellowed. "Close your mouth or flies will fly in!" Obviously, the voice came from the one and only iron dragon slayer, Gajeel. Levy immediately responded by closing her mouth, a small blush on the tip of her ears.

Instead of teasing the petite mage, like she usually would, Lucy didn't just because it was Valentine's Day. "Yeah, her matchmaking book. You shine this light," Lucy gestured to the pen on the table, "and see everything that is written in it."

A look of horror and delight was on Levy's face, because what if she was matchmaked? And how could she take this as an opportunity for blackmail?

Quickly putting on her wind glasses, Levy turned the ultraviolet light on and skimmed through the book in mere seconds. Shutting it dramatically, she let out a long sigh and took off her glasses.

"Who's in there?" Lucy asked, pleading she wasn't in there; but knowing it was Mira, she probably was.

"Well," Levy started, enunciating each letter slowly, "There's you and Natsu as number 1, Wendy and Romeo as number 2, Erza and Jellal as number 3, Gray and Juvia as number 4, Gajeel and myself as number 5, Happy and Carla as number 6, a tie between Cana and Bacchus/Macao as number 7, you and Loke as number 8-"

"WHAAT?!" Lucy roared, louder than any fighting that has ever occurred at the guild. "ME AND NATSU IS FAR ENOUGH, BUT ME AND LOKE?!" she continued, becoming embarrassed as all the anger left her and everyone's eyes drilled holes into her.

"Hey Bookworm," Gajeel came up, lifting her up to his height, "did Demon-woman matchmake herself?" With this said, the whole guild was doused in a big silence, though this silence was interrupted by a cricket's chirping.

"Whaaat?" Gajeel asked, not fully understanding the impact of what he said.

"Gajeel..." Erza said, almost menacingly, "What did you just say...?"

Gajeel didn't admit it, but he cringed, so he said, "I said, 'Did Demon-woman matchmake herself?' !" Once again, the guild was silent, but it wasn't long until it burst into raucous noise after Levy simply said, "She didn't."

"Gajeel, you're a genius!" Gray said, "And that's saying something!"

Lucy and Juvia stood, shocked, at the scene in front of them. In revenge for all of Mira's crazy antics, the majority of Fairy Tail were teaming up. To do what, you ask? To matchmake the matchmaker, obviously.

"Okay guys..." Lucy said, a part of her wanting revenge of Mira but another part feeling sorry for the wrath the barmaid would face soon. "I know you're intent on this plan and all, but... Who in the world are you going to matchmake Mira to?"

During the silence, all heads immediately turned to Freed, who was too deep in reading a book to notice all eyes now boring holes into him. Then, their stares were directed to Laxus, who was sleeping, his music drowning out the noise around him.

"Who indeed..." they all said in sync, like a flowing river.

*LONG SIGH* "Who indeed..." XD I don't know who Mira will be paired with so... I'M JUST GONNA WING IT! Jk, jk. I'll find a way to make it work... "COMRADE CARLIN," HELP ME! Well, hope you and enjoyed! Later~