xxx

"It's your fault. You did this to him. If only you had listened, obeyed the rules, he wouldn't be where he is now."

"No... No, I didn't mean to. I was only trying to help... To help him." Sara insisted.

"But you didn't. You only made things worse. Look where he is now."

"Look who keeps his bedside warm now. Beautiful Heather Kessler, everything you are not, everything you have ever wanted to be. Beautiful, alluring, mysterious, she commands all attention, especially Grissom's. He is infatuated with her."

"It doesn't matter about her. I don't care. I only care about Gil."

"If you cared about him, he wouldn't be in a coma in a hospital bed."

"No, you know me, you know I love him. I would never do something to hurt him on purpose. You have to believe me guys."

She jerked awake with a gasp when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She felt hot and cold all at once, twisted in the blankets of the bed, a throbbing coming from her leg.

"Sorry Miss Sidle, you were trashing around, I didn't want you to hurt yourself." The young nurse said softly.

Sara pushed herself up into a sitting position, pushed the damp hair off of her face and forced a small smile onto her lips. The convicting faces of her firends still whirled around her brain from her nightmare. They all blamed her, they all thought it was her fault.

She blamed herself too, so why did she feel hurt that they might blame her also? She had only seen Brass, and he seemed fine, even though he hand been in the nightmare, saying otherwise. He had told her the others were waiting for her, they missed her, but he might have been saying that just to appease her, keep her calm.

"I have some good news for you today Miss Sidle. Looks like last night was your last with us. Once the Doctor makes his rounds, checks you over and gives you your prescriptions, you are good to go home." The bright nurse beamed.

Sara had forgotten about that promise in the post nightmare haze she found herself in. A smile settled easily over her features. She was going to be back home today, in her own bed, after weeks in hospital.

She untangled herslef from the bedsheets as her blonde haired, blue eyed nurse stood at the foot of her bed filling in details in her chart. She didn't like asking for help, but she knew she needed it in this case. "Do you mind,just helping me into the bathroom, I want to shower before I go home, so I just need some help covering up this cast, and my arm." Sara said as she pushed herself to the edge of the bed.

"How do you expect to wash your hair with one arm like that?"

Sara gave a small shrug. "I'll manage. I'll have to when I'm at home."

"You don't have anyone staying with you at home to help you?" The nurse asked, a little concerned.

"Oh, yeah, I do..." Sara lied. "I just like to do things by myself."

The nurse wasn't too sure, but she didn't pass a comment. She smiled softly and helped Sara from the edge of the bed. She had no intentions of leaving Sara on her own to shower. She may believe that she had the energy to wash herself, but it would be a different story once she was in the shower. That burst would leave her quickly, and she would struggle to stay standing, let alone wash herself. She had seen it too often in patients.

Ten minutes later, she had sat Sara on the small stool in the joining bathroom, the cast wrapped up, and her bandaged arm wrapped up in plastic too, to protect it. Sara felt slightly flushed, but she still felt good. She smiled and thanked her, and said she would be fine from here, until she had finished, then she would need some more assistance.

"Stupid cast." She muttered, bringing a soft chuckle from the nurse.

"You won't be the first or last to make that statement. Has it been itching much?"

"Like a bitch." Sara said with a sigh.

She chuckled once more as she switched on the shower, and as Sara started to protest, she shook her head, refusing to leave, insisting she would stay, simply because she would be in trouble for leaving a patient unattended, with a cast in the shower. Sara seemed to buy it.

Half an hour later, Sara was freshly showered, redressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, her hair still wet but brushed. Her belongings were packed in her small gym bag, beside her on the bed. She was ready to get out of here, to go home.

All she was waiting on now was the Doctor. She waited as patiently as she could, on the end of her bed, tapping her fingers slightly against the frame.

After a few more moments, the whiteand blue flash of the Doctors coat and scrubs came whirled into her room, with a bright hello. Sara felt it had been a decision by the hospital to give her the most cheerful Doctor, when all he did was annoy her. Today though, she was more than happy to see her.

"Well, Sara. This is your last day with us. I can tell you're horribly upset already. I know you'll miss all of us here, especially me, I know I was your favorite. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone else." He said as he flipped through her chart, reviewing the last few additions since he had seen Sara last.

"Oh yeah, you know I will miss being poked and prodded every day." She said dryly. She was irritated now, she just wanted out of here.

He laughed slightly as he flipped the chart closed and set it on the adjustable table. He pulled the stool in front of her, and took a look at her leg, still in the cast. "How is it feeling?"

"Itchy." She said bluntly.

He laughed again, knowing she didn't like Doctors, it was obvious from her records she had spent a lot of time in hospitals, especially when she was younger, so he didn't take it to personally. "Well, the cast is still fine, so for now, we will leave it, bring you back in maybe, two weeks, take this one off, check how it has healed, and recast it then if need be."

Sara nodded, glad that she only had two weeks to go, then she could be free of this.

"Now, let me have a look at this arm." He stood now and carefully untied the sling from around her neck, and stretched out her arm. She winced a little, but bit her lower lip.

"Still a bit tender?"

"Yeah." She confirmed.

He ran his nimble fingers up each side of her arm, and back down again. "Okay, it seems to be ookay, just a little bruised still. I'm sure you're sick of the sling, so we can take that off. I'll redress the bandage, one that supports it more, but I would say give it a few more days and you'll be good to take that off. You'll know yourself, if you try to do too much with it, how it feels, what you can take and what you can't take."

Sara just nodded as he started to redress her arm in a tighter bandage, making her grit her teeth a little, but she was glad to be free of the sling. One less restraint for her to deal with.

Once he finished the bandaging, he turned his attention to a few cuts she had, ensuring that they were healing properly. He was a thorough doctor, he wouldn't feel comfortable letting any patient home without knowing that everything was healed, or on the way to being so.

"What's the verdict?" Sara asked, getting a little nervous that maybe she wouldn't be going home today afterall.

"Well, Miss Sidle, I think you are good to go. You're a fighter, that's for sure, you've healed well so far. Just, don't over exert yourself, you are still healing, don't forget that. You need to listen to your body, what it needs."

Sara scoffed slightly. Her body needed one thing, Grissom. "Yeah, I know the drill. I won't do too much, I'll eat right, and make sure I get plenty of rest. Will make sure I cover up my cast when I shower. I know what happens." She had been through this before, she knew what to do.

He smiled slightly and nodded. "Okay, well, I'm going to go write up a prescription for some painkillers, seeing as you don't get the good stuff from here anymore. I'll send a nurse in to give you your discharge papers, you will have to see the physical therapist quickly before you leave, about your crutches, and then you are free to go home Sara."

Finally, she thought. "Thank you."

He smiled as he left, and turned to look at her. "Look after yourself."

She sighed in relief when he left, glad to know that she would be home soon.

Soon enough, the physical therapist was in with her crutches, and when she proved that she could use them (after spending many childhood weeks on them), the therapist was happy. Sara didn't make the comment that she found it painful on her still bandaged arm.

It was still weak, and she knew she would not be able to endure too long on the crutches, but she could brave it out if it meant she was out of here sooner.

Only a few moments after the older physical therapist had left the bubbly nurse from earlier arrived with her prescription and her discharge papers.

She gladly took them, and scrawled her signature where it was required. She listened to the usual rules, nodding every now and then as if she was paying attention.

"Sorry, Miss Sidle?" The nurse said gently to her, drawing her attention.

"Huh? Sorry, what did you say?"

"I just asked who it is that's collecting you? "

"Oh... Yeah, my Uncle... Jim Brass. He's just running a little late that's all. He wants me to meet him at the front door." Sara lied, as convincingly as she possibly could.

The nurse didn't look convinced, and as she opened her mouth to dispute the fact, a soft knock on the door alerted their attention. Both heads turned and Sara smiled at the blonde standing in the doorway.

"Don't worry, Tara. I will make sure Sara goes home with someone trusted." Samantha said softly. She knew just what Sara was like.

Sara gave a small smile, only wanting to go home now. If she never saw another nurse it would be too soon.

"Okay then, look after yourself Miss Sidle. If you have any worries, please don't hesitate to call."

"Don't worry, I won't." She had no intentions at all of calling. "Thank you for your help." She did appreciate their efforts, even though she may have despised most of them for so long, because they would not let her see her friends, her only family. She knew they were only doing their job.

"Trying to pull a fast one, are we, Sara?" Samantha said in a mock scolding tone.

"I am perfectly fine getting a taxi. I just don't want to bother anyone."

Samantha knew this was not a session, but she made a mental note of that comment, and it would be revisited in due course, along with Sara's relationship with her mother. She was not getting away from the demons she faced.

"Well, in knowing you as well as I do, I took the liberty of calling Mr. Brass, and he should be meeting you here in a few moments. I just came to see you off, on your first day back home, and remind you of our deal."

Sara laughed ever so slightly at the woman who would have been the poster for the Aryan race. "Don't worry, I have not forgotten." She wished she could forget, it would be so much easier than having to deal with all of the emotions her past brought, as well as the demons she was facing here in the present, and the doubts she had for her future. Her emotions were taking a beating from all three tenses.

"I'll let you settle back in today and tomorrow, alright? Give you a chance to get a routine of some sorts established, but I want to see you the day after, Thursday, 11am."

Sara nodded, knowing she had to stick to this. It was the one condition she was being allowed out on.

"But, if you need me at all between now and then," She handed Sara an ivory business card. "Here are my details. My office number, my home number and also my cell phone." She did not make a habit of giving these details to every patient of hers, but Sara was an exception.

"Thank you." Sara said with a small smile as she tucked it into her pocket.

Another soft knock came on the door, and Sara's face lit up as she seen the closest thing she had to a Father standing in the doorway. "Ready to go home, cookie?" He asked with a small smile. He was more than happy to be taking her out of here. It had done her no good to be sectioned off from those who cared for her.

"More than you will ever know." She said as she pushed herself up from the bed, taking a hold of the crutches she had been given. At least she could take the elevator to the ground floor, and then it was just a matter of making it to the car, which she hoped Jim would pull around. Once she was home, she could hobble around, without having to use them for too long.

Brass took the small gym bag she had been using, and was now stuffed with pajamas mostly to be washed.

With another promise to Samantha that she would call if anything happened, but if not, she would see her at 11am Thursday morning, they set off down the short hallway, and the set of coded door, from her room to the elevators.

Standing as they waited for the elevator to arrive, Sara looked up to Brass, and he knew exactly what she wanted.

"I don't think that is such a good idea, Sara." Actually, he thought it was a horrific idea. He didn't know how he was going to tell her the worrying news. He at least wanted to wait until tomorrow, let her have one day at home, to ease back in before he hit her with the latest development.

"Jim, please." She begged.

He sighed, mulling over the situation. He should have known she would not leave the hospital without this. The elevator came, but neither made a move towards it, the doors chimed shut, and it was gone, as Sara stood, on a strained, shaking arm, waiting for Jim to give the go-ahead. With or without him, she would do it though.

This would not be a good moment for her, he thought. She would take this harder than anyone else. But, she was going to find out eventually. And maybe it was best she found out now, so she could not be angry at him for trying to keep this from her, so she may allow him to care for her, make sure she was looking after herself.

He sighed heavily, and nodded, as he pressed the button for the elevator once more. "Alright."

Sara smiled, yet inside her stomach was coiled up, a sick feeling bubbling deep inside. Despite how badly it had went the last time, she had to see him again, especially after the nightmares that she had not yet been able to evade.

The elevator chimed once more, and the doors swung open. Brass stepped in, and Sara hopped after him. He hit the button, to bring them two floors up to where Grissom would be.

As the elevator door closed and they started to rise, Sara's stomach started to sink.

"Just remember I'm here for you, Sara, and things will get better." He paused for a moment, and more seriously he looked at her. "Prepare yourself, cookie."

xxx

A/N: Uh-oh. Another cliff hanger? What exactly does she have to be prepared for? And, does she end up needing that card Samantha handed her?

We shall seeeeee!

I know some of you are getting impatient about wanting to know what happened, and wanting to get to her history with Grissom, but trust me, it's all part of the story, when this is all revealed, you will allllll understand!

How are we all feeling after the recent episode, Dead Air? Hope we are all feeling positive about our GSR! Don't worry, they will be fine. *prays*

Anyway, leave a review, let me know what you thought! A few more hints in that chapter as to what the accident was, anyone want to make another guess? Or guess what other shock Sara is in for?

Until next time, guys!