My Overrated Perspective - Part 3

Yosuke

AN: Final Part is a smidge long, sorry.

DRRR! not mine.

I wasn't really sure where I was going after that. I hadn't the foggiest clue where Izaya could've been hiding, and I had no idea how to track him down. The only thing I could think to do was ask around, which was such a slow and tedious process that chances were Izaya would run further away from me once he heard I was coming. There was no way he didn't have someone nearby to warn him if trouble was coming. Izaya had connections. He was an information dealer, after all.

My first stop was a street most commonly inhabited by Yellow Scarves. It didn't take me long to spot a few. My horse had remained silent so they weren't even aware of my approach, and it was rather fun to watch their surprised reactions when they finally noticed me. Out of habit, I suppose, they broke out into a run, hurrying to escape my reach. My reach far surpasses a normal human, though, and I quickly chose one of the three and tripped him using a black extension. It was fair to say he freaked out a little, screaming in agony though I'd caused him no pain in particular, and he leapt to his feet to try and make another getaway. By that time, I had closed in on him, leaping off my bike and slamming him into a wall. His chest hit hard, knocking the wind from him. My elbow pushed roughly into the back of his neck while my other hand clenched one of his arms and twisted it harshly behind him.

By this time, his two comrades had disappeared into the night, leaving their fallen friend behind. It was a shame; I would've like to question them all, but one would do for now.

The gang member beneath my grasp cried out and tried his damnedest not to struggle. "Wh-Whaddya want? I didn't do nothin'!"

I twisted him around, planting his back against the brick wall, then with as much grace as I could, swept my leg under his. His feet flew up in the air as he fell gracelessly to the ground with a grunt. It was time to calm things down a little. I knelt before him and whipped out my PDA, quickly typing a message. [Who put the hit on Shizuo Heiwajima?]

The boy barely even glimpsed at the device, too frantic with fear. I tapped a finger against his forehead to get his attention and brought the device closer. Finally, his eyes registered the letters and read it slowly, mouthing out the words as if he barely knew how to read. "Th-The hit? I-I dunno! We were just told to take him out if we saw him! But I ain't seen him at all! I swear!"

[Who gave the order?]

"It was a message left for us at our meeting place! On a piece of paper! We thought it was from our Shogun!"

Shogun? I hadn't heard them use that term in a long time. Perhaps the Yellow Scarves were actually rallying up again? If their Shogun had returned... But there were bigger matters at hand at that moment. [Shizuo Heiwajima fought someone tonight. Who was it?]

The boy was becoming more and more paranoid, as if expecting to be punished for speaking these things, though no one was around to hear us. "I don't know any of them, but I heard they messed with his drinks before the fight. Like they tried to poison him or something!"

Damn. It made painfully clear sense. I knew Shizuo wasn't a heavy drinker, and even if he was, it was doubtful anything could knock him on his ass like it did tonight. If alcohol didn't mess up his inhibitions, poison sure would. [Does the hit on Shizuo have anything to do with the Blue Squares' hit on me?]

"I haven't heard anything like that. I didn't even know you were a target! The information we get from the Blue Squares is very scarce!"

That was to be expected. It was doubtful the two groups had any sort of communication whatsoever. And what Shinra had said had to be the truth: The two hated each other too much to even attempt a truce.

"L-Listen, I don't know anything else! I'm a lower rank, they don't tell me anything I don't need to know!"

[You can go, but I just have one more question.]

He looked trepidatious.

[Have you seen Izaya Orihara lately?]

Now he looked confused, though sweat still beaded his face. His eyes scanned the screen again as if bothered by the question. For a moment, I wondered if perhaps I had used the wrong kanji. "Izaya Orihara? I've never even met him, let alone seen him. I swear!"

Well, this was useless. I stood up and walked back to my bike, leaving the boy on the sidewalk to contemplate his recent situation and count his blessings as I sped off into the night, vaguely wondering where to go next. I encountered a few more gang members throughout the night, questioning a few, some more cooperative than others, until I eventually ended up on the main streets of Ikebukuro, completely out of ideas. All the questioning had gotten me nowhere, save for the small tidbits of information I had gotten from my first interview. My bike moved at a steady pace along the block, myself too spaced out to really pay attention to the stares I was getting from passersby. Where should I have gone next?

I stopped when I felt something tap against my helmet visor, nearly sliding it off my neck. I jumped a little and pulled to a slow stop, fixing my helmet and looking up to see what had disturbed me. It was a piece of paper held in the strong grip of a large black hand.

"Hello! Long time no see!"

My nerves settled themselves at the familiarity. [Hello, Simon.]

Simon's always-smiling face beamed down at me, his usual oblivious personality ever-present to make him all the more endearing. "You will come in and have sushi? We have great sushi for sale today."

I put a hand up to decline politely. [Sorry, not tonight.] Though I was sure he was well aware that I didn't eat. [I'm looking for Izaya. I don't suppose you've seen him, have you?]

"Ohhh, Izaya?" Simon took a long pause as if to ponder the question. "Yes, I've seen Izaya. He's inside right now having drinks and eating some great Russian sushi."

I was too startled to even type a proper response. I simply jumped off my bike and rushed into the restaurant, leaving behind an indifferent Simon. Once inside, I immediately spotted my target in a private dining room near the back of the small restaurant. Content with his situation and completely relaxed, he was sipping calmly at a glass of what I was guessing was sake and carefully deciding which sushi piece would be deemed safe to eat.

I will admit maybe my reaction was a bit over-the-top, and when approaching someone as dangerous as Ikebukuro's most notorious informant, one should be a little more cautious. I threw all that crap out the window as I used my shadowy appendages to launch the table he sat at against him, pinning him against the wall with it. The sake cup he held shattered against the wall, but not before all of its contents thoroughly doused his face. Blinking through the alcohol, he finally managed to spot me and smiled, speaking as best as he could with the edge of the table tucked uncomfortably under his chin.

"Ah, Miss Courier, I... I wasn't expecting you."

I predicted Simon or the sushi chef would be in soon to try and put a stop to my antics, so I moved along as quickly as possible. And since Izaya's hands were bound under the table, I doubt I'd have much trouble convincing him to cooperate. Standing directly in front of him, I typed up a message and shoved the PDA about two inches from his face.

[I should kill you.]

His predictable response was a laugh. "That's a little cruel, don't you think?"

[You put a hit on me!]

Another laugh. "It was just a little fun. I knew it was nothing you couldn't handle."

[You don't end things like that. You don't put hits on people, expect them to just live or die and say it was just for fun. There's something else here.]

By his fidgeting, I would've ventured to guess he was finally becoming uncomfortable. That only compelled me more, and I pressed the table against him harder. His breathing became a little labored, but I didn't care. He could suffer a little. Hell knew he deserved it.

[Why did you put a hit on Shizuo at the same time? And how in the world did you get the two more notorious color gangs in Ikebukuro to listen to you?]

He tried to laugh again but it came out as a desperate wheeze. "I doubt I have to explain it. I'm sure you've already gathered that information on your own. You're a smart woman, Celty."

I eased the pressure on the table for an instant only to slam it back into him, knocking the wind out of his chest. [Don't toy me with anymore, Izaya Orihara. I have no fear in killing you.]

"Ah, but you won't, will you?" His shoulders twisted from under the table in an attempt to free his arms. "I'm not calling your threats empty, but killing me would be counter-productive, wouldn't it?"

[There are plenty of information dealers in this city, and the Devil is kinder than you. No one would cry from your loss.]

"How cruel!" Izaya feigned his grief, a sly smile still plastered on his face before wincing in pain. "Miss Celty, I do admit that I'm not the most trustworthy person, but I can guarantee you that no matter what trick I try to pull now, you could easily kill me. Could you please lower the table? I can't speak without any air."

I don't know why I doubted his words. It was true, I could kill him at any point I wanted and he was not skilled enough to escape if I chased him. But... I don't know, the guy just deserved to be smashed under a table right then.

My shoulders eased in their stiffness after a few moments and I released the pressure on the table, but rather than let it drop, I flung it against the doorway to the dining room, positioning it to block the whole thing and sealing us in the room. Izaya slunk to his knees, rubbing his chest through his black shirt and groaning at the relief. He managed to let out a small chuckle and spoke, strangely enough, in English, "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn."

I ignored him and dropped to my knees in front of him, shoving the PDA back in his face. [Why did you arrange the hits?]

He barely even glanced at it; he already knew what the question was. "Believe it or not, not everything is part of some greater plan to a greater triumph. Being manipulative is a great asset when you're bored."

If I'd had a jaw, it would've hit the floor. [You were bored? You arranged two people to be killed because you were bored?]

My fury was translated by the growing shadow behind me on the wall, twisting up into a hellish creature of some sort. I was nearly shaking with rage. Izaya tried his hardest to ignore the monster on the wall, but his nervousness was apparent in his stiff shoulders and tensed muscles, like a cat ready to bolt. It was strange to think I had sparked the same manner of fear in him as Shizuo did.

"Calm down, missy. I knew you could handle whatever I threw at you."

[Then what was the point of doing it in the first place? If you knew that I was just going to divert all of them, why did you think it'd last long enough to kill your boredom?]

"Because," he started in a matter-of-fact voice, "it would make the hit on Shizu all the more entertaining."

[What do you mean?]

"You'd be distracted by the Blue Squares while Shizu got to play with the Yellow Scarves. I'm assuming Shizu got to face-off with some of them, right?"

[Yes, but they poisoned him beforehand.]

I could tell Izaya was suppressing the urge to laugh. "That's a first; they actually took my advice. Those morons aren't usually smart enough to take such an obvious and advantageous route. I wonder what they ended up using to poison him with..."

Still in my rage, I grabbed the nearest thing I could get within my grasp, and in my desperation, I ended up wielding a cheap wooden chopstick, though by the way I held it, you'd think I had a wakazashi. Izaya, despite his calm demeanor, seemed to accept the threat.

"Miss Celty, I honestly meant you no harm. I knew it was something you could handle just fine."

I started to type [But Shizuo] but Izaya beat me to it.

"Honestly, do you think I'm going to be looking out for his well-being? Threaten me all you want, madam, but you and I both know that watching him squirm is one of my favorite hobbies. Did I actually expect him to die? Of course not. Did I expect a little misery out of him? Absolutely. And I must say, I have not been let down. I'm thinking of giving the Yellow Scarves a reward. Maybe they could use a recliner for their rats' nest of a hideout?" He chuckled softly to himself. I felt no need to threaten him anymore. He'd made his point, and it was a good one. He liked to torture Shizuo; everyone was used to it, including Shizuo. I just wished he could be a little less childish about it.

[Shizuo hasn't been hurt by the poison, just so you know.]

This caught Izaya's attention, if only slightly.

[He's just smashed.]

The informant seemed to have trouble digesting the idea. I tried elaborating a little.

[He's currently sleeping on my couch. I imagine his hangover will be a most unpleasant experience. For everyone. Thank you very much, Izaya.]

As expected, Izaya erupted into a fit of laughter, genuinely amused by the idea of Shizuo Heiwajima drunk. It was at about that time that I figured this interrogation was over. We would get no further tonight, and the mention of Shizuo on my couch reminded me that there was a very real possibility that my boyfriend could be dead right then. Standing quickly, I removed the table from the doorway and threw it at Izaya, who didn't bother to dodge based on the sheer size of the item and the small space available to move in the room. It hit his head hard, slamming him to the floor where he remained motionless underneath the furniture. I honestly couldn't find a sympathetic bone in my body at that moment. Perhaps a concussion would put him straight for once.

I stopped by Simon on the way out. [Would you like me to cover the damage or shall it be put on Izaya's bill?]

Simon laughed heartily and waved his hand. I wished I could've smiled at him, but it was just another item on the long list of things I would hope to do one day. Hopping on my steed, I took off into the night, heading home. I had a drunken bodyguard to take care of.

It was around 3:30 in the morning when I made it back. I felt no exhaustion, just general tiredness from having had so much activity that day. Setting my bike helmet on a table by the foyer, I stepped quietly into the living room. Thankfully, I didn't find Shinra's corpse. He, instead, was still in his bedroom, barricaded in, and probably asleep. I figured I'd join him later. For now, I had to check on Shizuo, who was still slumbering peacefully on the couch. I wasn't sure what exactly I should've done then. I doubted anything I could do for him would be much help, but I didn't want to seem like a bad hostess (despite how this position had been pushed onto me against my will). I took a blanket from the hallway closet and took it to Shizuo, covering him and hoping he wasn't too chilly from the air conditioner. Or maybe he was warm? Alcohol could make people feel hot, and I was sure poison could cause a fever. I checked his forehead for his temperature. No, not too warm. I supposed he was alright...

A strong hand caught my wrist before I could detect it, and it startled me. I jerked upright, but the grip held strong. I connected the hand to a person and saw that it was actually Shizuo holding onto me, his eyes slightly open, though his sight seemed unfocused. My body eased. I wanted to type up a greeting for him, but he wouldn't let go of my hand.

"Did you... get 'im?" he spoke through a slightly gurgled voice. I imagined he would be sick soon. Poison was not friendly to stomachs.

Because he wouldn't release my arm, I simply raised my other hand, palm up in a shrugging manner to ask "What do you mean?"

"Izaya."

I jerked a little. How had he known?

Shizuo seemed to understand my unvoiced question. "Those sewer rats... The Scarves... They can't come up with an idea like that... Poisoning me... Making me disoriented... It was Izaya. I know it was."

I let my shoulders slump as a defeated gesture, a way of saying "Yeah."

"So... Whaddya do?" His words were still a little slurred. I guessed the alcohol wasn't out of his system yet.

I tugged on my arm again, trying to free it so I could type out a response on my PDA, but he wouldn't let go. So, I carefully thought of the correct gesture to make to answer his question, and ended up making a fist, flexing it a little, and punching the air lightly. Shizuo seemed to understand it and grinned cruelly.

"Good. He deserves it. But you should've killed him."

His response was a little more low-key than I expected it to be. Waving a finger in disapproval, I poked a finger into his shoulder a few times. He chuckled.

"Well, thanks. Leave me to kill him, right? That's what I want."

I patted his shoulder and once again tried to my pull my wrist free. Instead, his grip tightened, but not painfully. The look in his eyes intensified, almost to that fearsome level that would have a sane person running for their lives. I guess that made me insane or far too sure of myself, which could also count as insane, depending on how you looked at it.

"You..."

I waited patiently to hear what drunken banter he could come up with while wondering, myself, how much longer it would take the poison to stale itself from his veins.

"You're important..."

I stopped briefly, my full attention on his words though no one would be able to tell just by looking at me. I'm sure if I'd had a head, my expression would have asked the next question, but Shizuo seemed to pick up on it nonetheless.

"You're... very important... You're someone... I need around..." His grip loosened a little and he relaxed against the pillow a bit more, as if he was losing his nerve. "I can think of very few people in this world who I'd... like to have... around... and for some reason, whenever... I think of that list of people... you just jump right to the top..."

Oh... my god... Was... Shizuo making a confession?

"I don't know why... You just... calm me down... like few other people can... You keep me in check... and... I appreciate that..."

I hesitated for a moment, thinking it may have been a smart move at that time to try and flee the room before Shizuo said anything further that he would seriously regret later.

But his eyes were clear, a slight difference from moments ago when all I had seen was the bleary-eyed, groggy look of drunkenness. Finally, knowing that I'd heard all I'd needed to, Shizuo released my wrist and relaxed his arm against his body. I had my chance to run then, but for some ungodly reason, I didn't. I felt I needed to stay, no matter how badly this might turn out.

"I..." Shizuo continued, seeming so weak, though I knew at the drop of a hat he could leap up and rip the couch in half if he wished. "I know I'm probably creeping you out, but..."

I waved a hand in front of his face to hopefully silence him. He'd released my arm, so I wasn't sure why I wasn't typing up responses for him. I think I'd just gotten used to charades at that point that it seemed more logical to continue this way.

Shizuo didn't heed my concern for him to stop, though. "I don't... I don't like it when that rotten piece of shit Izaya talks to you..." He took a moment to try to form his words coherently. "He's always up to no good... He's always out to hurt someone, and if it isn't me, it's someone good like you."

I wanted to tell him I hadn't been hurt by any of Izaya's plans, but I doubted he'd listen.

"Don't let him mess with you. Don't... listen to him at all."

Again, I wanted to respond with something along the lines of [I have to. He's my main client], but again I doubted it was something he wanted to know.

"Izaya wants you for himself."

...Well, I hadn't been expecting that.

"To him, you're just a twisted experiment, something he likes to watch and mess with and be amused by. He wants to lock you up and keep you under some kind of surveillance. I've seen it... I've seen it in the way he looks at you... I can't stand it when he looks at you."

Maybe he wasn't as sober as I thought...

"You... You shouldn't let him jerk you around, not like he does with everyone else..." Shizuo started to try and sit up, hand grasping harshly onto the couch to sustain his balance. Despite how I could hear the fibers starting to rip from under his fingers, he wasn't doing a very good job at staying balanced. The look in his eyes was intense, and for a moment I genuinely couldn't tell if he was still drunk or just impassioned by the moment. "You..." he continued, struggling valiantly to stay afloat in sobriety. "You shouldn't belong to someone like him..."

Shizuo... Be careful... Don't say it...

"You should belong to me."

It seemed like the silence after that statement stretched out forever, swallowing the apartment and leaving the two of us in a sort of limbo, unable to predict which move the other would make first, or what we should do with ourselves. Shizuo Heiwajima had just said something very dangerous, not for the sake of my relationship with Shinra, but because of what he'd said about him wanting the same thing as Izaya... Was this going to start a new feud? If Shizuo was correct and Izaya really did want me as well, then how would that escalate the fights between them? Did Izaya know that Shizuo wanted me as well?

... Why was I taking all of this information so lightly? Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima both wanted me for themselves (one for more honorable purposes than the other). Shouldn't I have been a little more shocked?

Yes... Yes, I was shocked. I was having trouble absorbing this so much that it seemed like it just didn't matter to me. But it did. Izaya and Shizuo both wanted me. I was a new target. Maybe not even new. How long had they both felt this way? How long had I been in their adoration?

I was so lost in these thoughts that I almost didn't notice Shizuo collapse back onto the couch, seemingly giving up on trying to stay vertical, and I almost thought he'd fallen back asleep. I was left in silence by myself for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Should I talk to Shinra? What would he think? Surely he wouldn't have felt threatened by them, or concerned that I'd choose them over him. I loved Shinra, and while I could see being with Shizuo could have its merits, it just didn't outweigh the feelings I had for my current boyfriend. I was Shinra's, no one else's. But still...

I glimpsed down at Shizuo. I doubted he was asleep, but more likely that he was just too nervous to be active in the present. I was sure he was still waiting for a response from me, though. Like I'd said before, he could be such a surprising gentleman.

I remained still for a long moment, thoroughly plotting out my next move in my mind so it wouldn't come out looking too foolish. I took one of his hands into my own, marveling at how much larger his hands were than mine. Then I slid one of my hands onto his cheek carefully, cautiously, as if I were disturbing a sleeping lion. He didn't move, and I was concerned he really had fallen asleep. I wanted to type something up for him to read, but I somehow doubted that even if he were awake he would be able to put together tangible sentences on a screen.

"...Sorry..." he half-muttered, catching me by surprise a little. One eye half-peeked open, his gaze listing to my "face" drunkenly. "I shouldn't have said that outloud... Bad habit of mine..."

No... I immediately thought. Don't be sorry. That was very brave of you. I don't know how long you've been carrying these feelings, and I'm a fool for never noticing. But... thank you. Thank you for finally telling me, and freeing yourself of that.

Though a part of me did doubt he'd actually remember any of it in the morning. Poor Shizuo.

I think, somehow, my moment of "silence" and subtle motions translated what I had wished I could say aloud to the man, because in the next moment, he did something rather unexpected. With still very little coordination and a definitive wobble and shakiness in his arms, his hand found mine, long, strong fingers wrapping around my own slimmer, pale ones, and he lifted it to his face. My gaze was transfixed on his face as he did the most shocking thing I'd ever seen him do (which is saying a lot, considering how many city structures he's destroyed with just his bare hands). He kissed the backs of my fingers in one long, careful, loving kiss. If there was any one person who had never seen or heard of Shizuo Heiwajima before, and had stumbled upon this moment and made any sort of determination about it, it would've been that this man was the gentlest, most reverent and considerate man in Ikebukuro. Honestly, he even had me fooled.

But in truth, it wasn't an act, and I knew that. He was doing this out of his heart's sincerest attempts to get my attention. He knew that I knew he wouldn't win me over from Shinra, and from the hazy smile on his face once he had released me, I would say he agreed.

"I think that's the best I get to do. Just so my message is clear..." He shifted on the couch a little and closed his eyes. "Going to sleep now. G'night. And don't let yer boyfriend touch me. He's a freak." And with that, Shizuo was out for the night.

I remained by the couch for a while, staring at the sleeping man's face, momentarily picturing a sleeping lion instead, and I could barely resist the urge to pet his hair once. But I didn't; I'd already crossed a line I was sure Shinra wouldn't be terribly happy with (though I knew he wouldn't say anything about it even if he were privy to that information). I wouldn't push it further.

I stood after a while and made my way to Shinra's bedroom, where I found him reading some book of entirely no interest to me. When I came in, he looked up from his book and smiled. "You're still in one piece, I see."

I waved my hand a little, though truthfully I wasn't sure what response I was trying to convey. Instead of thinking it over, I sat down on the bed with my back to Shinra, gazing at nothing while my mind lingered heavily on thoughts of Shizuo.

"...He seemed rather rowdy for one so heavily intoxicated."

It felt like Shinra was simply trying to keep up the small talk in order to stall out the real issue at hand; the hesitancy in the atmosphere was infecting my worry-laden thoughts, and I was finally forced to acknowledge the statement.

[Turns out it was all Izaya's idea.]

Shinra laughed lightly in response. "Well, I honestly couldn't imagine it any other way. I'll tell you, if those two ever stop fighting, Ikebukuro will never be quite as lively."

[That's a horrible thing to say.]

"But it's true, and be honest," Shinra spoke matter-of-factly, letting the book drop to his lap. "If Izaya didn't have half of his time to focus on Shizuo, what do you imagine he'd do with that energy instead?"

I shivered at the thought, but almost instantly afterwards, the things Shizuo had spoken (rather slurred) to me came back to mind.

"Izaya wants you for himself... To him, you're just a twisted experiment, something he likes to watch and mess with and be amused by. He wants to lock you up and keep you under some kind of surveillance. I've seen it... I've seen it in the way he looks at you... I can't stand it when he looks at you."

If Shizuo wasn't there to preoccupy Izaya's time with, would Izaya focus more on coming after me? Would he really try to lock me up? Would he experiment with me more, even more so than what he did already? Or would Izaya even have any interest in me at all if Shizuo wasn't there to have any kind of affection for me as well? Did Izaya only want me because Shizuo wanted me? Like a spoiled child who just wanted to spite his sibling? Perhaps the informant's need for me was only present to make Shizuo angry.

Eventually, I felt the deep gaze burning holes into my back, and I slowly peeked around to look at Shinra, who simply sat with an amused smile on his face, though the heat from his stare was all too noticeable. I heaved my shoulders in a mock sigh and turned more to face him.

[I suppose you want to know what Shizuo said to me.]

Shinra laughed. "I don't need to know, I think I have a pretty good idea."

[It wasn't all just drunken rantings. He seemed pretty legit.]

"I don't doubt you." Shinra set his book on the nightstand and sat up straighter against his small pile of pillows, tapping the empty space next to him invitingly. I couldn't help but join him, curling up next to him (rather shamelessly, I suppose, but I was feeling a bit vulnerable, a bit or a rarity for me). He rubbed my arm reassuringly. "Do I have anything I need to be worried about?"

[He's pretty convinced you're going to experiment on him in his sleep.]

"What do you think he'd look like with no ears?" Shinra pondered aloud, though I could easily read the joke on his face, and had I the voice to do so, I'd laugh. In lieu of a proper response, I smacked him lightly on the shoulder, and he laughed for me. "As amazing as the opportunity would be to see what makes Shizuo Heiwajima tick, I think I'll keep my scalpel away from him. I'd like to keep my head, if it's all the same." His gaze drifted off a bit, unfocused and seeming to think carefully about something. "Thank you, Celty."

I didn't really need to question what he meant; it was pretty obvious in the way he had said it. I couldn't understand why he'd be nervous about me choosing another man over him, seeing as our relationship was pretty solid (though awkward on my end at some times). To thank me for being with him seemed so useless, but at the same time, it was rare for Shinra to feel nervous or unsure. Considering all he did for me, I found no harm in trying to return the favor every now and then.

I sank down on to the bed more, laying down completely and turning on my side to lay against his lap, hand resting lightly on his stomach. His own hand rubbed my shoulder affectionately, and I settled in for some sleep, content and slightly amused with my oddly-nervous boyfriend, and very wary of the sleeping lion on my couch.

I knew I'd be thinking about Shizuo tonight, and probably the next day when we'd need to cart his hungover ass out into the street before he destroyed anyone for merely thinking too loud. Shinra would no doubt be a little less than enthusiastic about the idea of his girlfriend keeping another man in her thoughts, even if it was for a short time, but I had a feeling he'd forgive me. He, above anyone else, should understand the need to experiment, to think "what if?" every now and then. It would change nothing between us, and it would not place Shizuo in any higher esteem for me than Shinra was, but I knew I would still feel that same, if not renewed, respect for the bodyguard, and I would keep the information he'd given me as a precious treasure I could always return my thoughts to.

Shinra loved me, Shizuo loved me, and for some wicked, twisted reason, Izaya seemed to have, for lack of better term, a thing for me as well. But I had all I needed here, with Shinra, and that was more than enough. Shizuo would stay in my thoughts, as I knew I would stay in his. I'd never received so much consideration in my life than when Shizuo had confessed what he felt to me, and had taken the brunt force of my obvious rejection with such grace that it had shocked even me. But he'd cared about my opinion, my perspective on the matter, as overrated as I perceived it to be sometimes, and continued on with life as if nothing had changed. He'd treated me like a normal person, like a human.

For once in my life, I didn't feel quite as overrated as the people I knew made me out to be. And it felt nice. More than nice... It made me feel normal.

Ze end.

AN: I can't even remember when I started writing this, it's been so long, and now I'm finally done. There's a little parade going on in my head.

To be honest, I realize some of my information on the show might not be completely accurate, as I've found certain aspects of the storyline to be a smidge confusing (not the whole "non-linear" thing, just the character backgrounds in general). So if you've spotted a mistake, I apologize, I tried to get all my information as correct as possible.

Review or the dullahans will get you...