Chapter 5

Just as they landed with a thud in the Potter fireplace, Mrs. Potter engulfed them all in hugs.

"Carson! Children! Praise Merlin, you're home! I've been worried sick, and for a while week! Imagine I had no idea where my own child and his best friends were and my husband - doing God knows what in the very pit of hell for all I know! And then--"

Mr. Potter shook her before she could continue and go into shock. "Janine! Please calm yourself. We're quite alive and healthy."

"Well what was I supposed to think?! I can't believe you sent me to Germany where all those women know how to do is gossip about the attacks and how many people have died! I almost went out of my mind!"

"Janine! I'll tell you again, settle down! If you would let me talk, I'd tell you everything."

"Well then by all means, please do!" She tapped her foot in annoyance.

"To answer one of your questions: They were in America."

"AMERICA!?"

"Yes, Texas to be exact, with an old acquaintance of mine."

"And which acquaintance would that be?"

His voice failed him for a moment. "Erm Janine, perhaps we should go into the study to discuss this." He tugged on her arm while giving the boys a warning look that clearly said 'do-not-follow-us'.

As soon as the door to the study had closed, they heard Mrs. Potter yell.

"MORGAINE CLEETA!? Carson Potter, what were you thinking? You can't trust her!"

James smiled arrogantly at Lily. His mother had just proved him right.

"Janine! Stop accusing me, and more importantly, stop accusing her! That was a long time ago. The past is gone, but you just can't let it go, can you? People change and you know it! Take a look at me! And do you really believe I'd put my son in a predicament in which I think he could be hurt? I love him and I love you. Trust me and give her the benefit of a doubt."

"But I can't do that!"

Lily didn't want to hear anymore. She felt as if she were intruding their lives. "Um, guys? Why don't we go outside until they've cooled off."

"Good idea."

The sun, which they hadn't seen in a week, greeted them beautifully as they stepped out of the front door and onto the lawn. It was a cloudless day and Lily had the sudden urge to throw on some tanning oil and sunbathe for the rest of her life. The past 7 days had been absolutely frustrating which cut her regular sleeping hours in half, so yes, sunbathing sounded like a very relaxing option.

She was awoken from her thoughts by looking across the street and seeing her family through the dining room window eating brunch. Without a second thought, she found herself jogging towards her house.

"Well look who it is: the long lost sibling," Petunia sneered upon Lily's arrival. "Why'd you bother to come back? It's not like you're wanted here."

Chloe put down her silverware and stood up from her chair. "Oh Petunia, shush your big mouth!" She ran up to Lily and kissed her.

Frank Evans followed suit. "We're very glad you're back. Why don't you go change and then have something to eat," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek as well.

"Alright, but before I do, do you have any idea what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dad, you know what I'm talking about. Why was I rushed out of the country?"

Petunia, overhearing the conversation, saw this chance to butt in. "You left the country?"

Lily shot her a well-earned glare. "Yes, I was in America."

"America!?" She gasped. "Daddy, I want to go to America too! It's not fair that Lily got to go."

"Petunia! Grow up and act your age! You were just there at Disney world! This was under desperate circumstances, so stop being a menace." Frank scolded her threateningly.

"Yeah Tunia. Don't be a prat."

Lily smiled triumphantly as Petunia sulked away after being told off. "So...? Enlighten me."

Chloe's shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to know. Why don't you tell her, Frank."

"Ok Lily, a little over a week ago, a bunch of -- what did Carson say they were called? -- aurors captured a suspicious person and found out that this person was carrying documents describing two families and their hope to assassinate the minister."

Lily held her breath. "That's Mr. Potter!"

"Yes, exactly. And it also gave reason to believe that his family and any magical person remotely associated with them was in extreme danger for their lives."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. What did they want with them? Yes, Mr. Potter was the minister, but to want to kill him and everyone close to him?! It was all too much.

"Do you know the names of the two families responsible?" She asked, wondering if she'd recognize any of the names from people at school.

"Yes, I do, as a matter of fact."

Chloe, fuming with hate, volunteered to speak. "The Caldwells, whoever they are. And the Darkmoons."

"HA! I knew there was something particularly foul about them. Where are they now?"

"They're in custody in some magical jail."

"For life?" She said hopefully.

"Possibly. Their trial is in a week or two. And the person carrying the documents, they're in for life without parole."

She grinned and just as she did so, heard a small creak around the corner.

"Petunia!" She had been listening to whole time. "If you're going to listen to our conversations, don't lie about it!"

Petunia apparently didn't take in a word of this. She looked terrified and her lips went pale as she pointed a finger at Lily.

"This is all your fault!" She mumbled. "I told you not to associate with those Potters! They're no good. It's only a matter of time before those stupid evil wizards come after our family!"

Chloe looked sorrowful when she saw the petrified expression Petunia was wearing. "Aww Tunia. Don't be scared. The bad men are locked up." She hugged her.

Lily was about to gag at the sickening display of apologetic emotions.

"I'll tell you what," her mother said. "Why don't you call Lizzy and as if she can come over for the day."

"Can some of my friends come too?" Lily pleaded. "It's only fair."

"Sure dear, but have some brunch first."

"Yes mum. Thanks."

Petunia paraded up the stairs, sounding much like a herd of buffalo while Lily loaded sugar on half of a grapefruit and ate.

She had been Petunia-free for a whole two minutes when she heard her stomping into the room.

"Is Lizzy coming?" Mrs. Evans asked, pulling some cookies out of the oven.

"No," she huffed. "Because she doesn't ever want to see Lily of her friends -- which she called 'Satan's Sons' by the way -- ever again! I don't think they could have been any ruder to her when we were in Florida."

Lily thought she should spice the situation up a little bit. "She's not coming over!? I was really looking forward to seeing her again! What a terrible, terrible loss..."

She set her spoon down and skipped out of the room. 10 seconds later she poked her head into the room and smiled. "Note the extreme sarcasm there." After winking, she left the house to go to the Potters.

"Hello Mrs. Potter!" She said upon arriving at their house. "Where are the guys?"

She wiped her sweating forehead with her hand, covered in a dirty glove from gardening. "Oh hello dear. James is up in his room. Just knock before you go in, he may be dressing."

"Sure thing! Thank you!" She wrinkled her nose. The last thing she wanted to do was walk in on James dressing.

After getting lost in the wrong wing of the enormous home, tripping over a house elf, greeting Mr. Potter, gazing at their library, stumbling through a fake trap door near the kitchen, accidentally setting off a dumgbomb left in the middle of a hallway, Lily finally found James' room and knocked.

"Hold on Mum! I just got out of the shower so I only have a towel on." James yelled from inside.

"It's Lily."

"Oh, well then stop gawking at the door and come right on in. I'll give you something to gawk at."

She snorted. "Please James. Seeing you barely decent isn't on my agenda. I'll pass."

He laughed. "It's fine. Come in. I've got shorts on. I just didn't want Mum to come in. My room's a little untidy."

She opened the door to see him fumbling to get his shirt on while tripping over a mound of junk. "Untidy!? More like an abominated pit of absolute disaster and probable carrier of the Bubonic Plague."

"Ha ha. Very funny." He glanced around and chuckled. "It is pretty bad, isn't it?"

"Yup, you were smart in not wanting your mother to see it." She agreed, grinning at his choice of bedroom colors. The walls glowed of fluorescent orange and neon green. "This is sure a bright room."

"Yeah, mum says it blinds her every time she walks in. She still insists on Gryffindor colors, but I told her I see those 9 months out of the year already. ...Leaving the subject of walls colors, what did you come over here for?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Petunia was going to have a friend over -- Lizzy, but she's too scared to come over -- and I thought it only fair that I could have some friends over too so I could avoid the Petunia Posse, and mum said yes. Evidently, Remus and Sirius already went home, but you can still come over if you don't find spending the day with only me too unpleasant."

"The Petunia Posse, huh?" He started laughing. "I want to come over, but I can't. Mum's been prying me to degnome the garden. Those daft gnomes are taking over because no one's been home for a week."

"Degnome? What's that?" She said excitedly.

"Oh, it's not the coolest thing in the world, but it can be fun. Come on,, I'll show you."

She trailed him through the house and across the huge backyard to a good-sized garden filled with roses of all colors: Red, pink, mauve, yellow, white, and maroon.

Lily inhaled deeply. "Ahh...smell that air! Your roses are beautiful and it's what...June 21 I think. The first day of summer only!"

"Yeah, my mother takes real pride in her roses."

"They're magnificent, but there's huge holes all over!"

"That's the gnomes."

"Ok, so what do we do?"

"There are lots of ways to do it. Dad and Mum usually tell me to do it the nicer way: set a cookie near the hole and wait for the gnome to come waddling out to get it. Then you grab him before he gets the cookie."

"Alright, but I have a feeling that's not the way you do it."

He smiled sheepishly. "You're right. Sirius, Remus, and I use the assistance of a hose." He went to attach the end of a hose to the water pipe.

"A hose?" She contemplated over this for a couple seconds until it clicked. "James Potter! Do you mean to tell you that you flood them out!?"

Grinning wickedly, he nodded.

"I should have known. I forbid you to do that to them! How awful..."

"Don't worry, it doesn't bother them."

"How can you be so daft?" She said exasperatedly. "Do you think they enjoy it?"

"Well no, but it doesn't hurt them. Put some water in there and they come spluttering out. We've done it so many times, and trust me, they'd have left permanently by now if it really annoyed them that much."

"Fine, I give."

"Good, now watch the master."

Hose in hand, he tiptoed over to a fairly large hole, looking like he was born to degnome gardens. Lily chuckled upon agonizing this. Her friends were so loony.

Smiling maliciously, he set the hose gently in the hole then motioned for Lily to turn on the water. It took barely any time for an ugly little creature to come flying out between James' legs.

"Gotcha!" He hung it up by its legs for Lily to see.

She grimaced when she laid eyes on the thing.

"Hideous, isn't she?"

"Quite... but that's a she?!" It was stocky with huge eyes, a bald, knobby head like a potato, and little fat rolls on its arms and legs. It wasn't what Lily imagined any female creature to be able to look like. "How can you tell?"

"See that wart on its nose? The females have those big warts."

"What? Why couldn't the males get the wart?"

"Females are always on the losing end. Ha!" He laughed in her face.

"How unfair. And not ALL females are. I don't have a huge wart on my face."

He grinned broadly. "Are you sure about that?"

Lily looked scandalized as her hand flew up to the pimple she had discovered on her nose earlier that morning. Her first pimple; what a way to begin the summer, and to have one of her best friends points it out bluntly to her. Not funny.

James chuckled.

Tentatively sliding her hand back down to her side, she glared at him. "Cute Potter."

"I thought it was."

"Just stop flaunting your "unbeatable" wit in everyone's face." She did the quote signal with her fingers. "You might give that gnome whiplash from your dire attempt at comedy."

"Now look who's getting witty."

"Get on with it James! The gnome's going to pass out if you don't stop making the blood rush to its head."

"Fine, fine." He flipped it over so that it was upright and turned back to Lily. "Simply grasp it by the legs and spin around like so." He whirled in swift circles, stopped, and said. "Then, just fling over the fence."

"Won't the neighbors find it odd to see a gnome soaring over the fence and into their yard?"

"Oh, there's no neighbor over there. There's a small area of just grass and a pond especially for the gnomes, but they always seem to find their way back over here. So, just watch and learn."

He repeated the torturous process to the gnome and Lily giggled when it started screaming like a banshee as it aviated across the garden and into the neighboring lot.

James flashed her a smile. "Don't think it's too evil anymore, do you?"

"No way! My turn!"

She plugged the hose into a hole, turned the water on, and let out a squeal of excitement when the ugly creature ran into her grasp.

"Yes! Have fun little guy!"

Unlike James' gnome, Lily's was male and it just yelled "Geroff me!" instead of screeching.

She started spinning and spinning; soon she was so dizzy she could barely stand up, but it was too much fun. She kept whirling.

"Lily, maybe you should slow down. Just throw it."

"No..." She panted. "This...is...too...fun!"

Instead of heeding his warning, she went even faster. "James, this is great!..."

"Woah Lily! Watch out!" She was now out of control and was speeding all over the garden, dizziness taking over her.

"I can't...stop..." Suddenly, she felt like she was overwhelming herself. She felt just like she had last year with the dementor. "Oh no...James...I can't...please...help...can't feel....gonna...fall..."

The last thing she saw was the gnome go crashing into the side of the barn before she passed out.

Seconds before, James had anticipated for her to fall when he saw her eyes rolling back into her head, so when she did collapse, he was right under her.

"Lily!" He shook her limp body, laying helplessly in his arms. "Lily, not again. Please wake up!" He draped his palm against her sweaty forehead. "You're burning up...Mum! Dad! Come quick!"

He had carried her halfway across the yard, which was not easy considering he wasn't much larger than her, when his parents came jogging out of the house.

"Oh my goodness, not again!" Mrs. Potter yelled, throwing her oven mitts and spatula on the ground, forgotten.

"Janine, go clear off the couch. James, give her to me and go get Lily's parents," Mr. Potter, ordered calmly, taking Lily in his arms and into the house.

Doing as he was told, James sprinted across the street, not even pausing to see if any care were coming, and barged into the Evans Household.

"AHHHHHHH!!!" Petunia bellowed upon his arrival. Clutching her heart like it was too much for her body to handle, she spat, "Ever heard of knocking, Potter? Of, I forgot, your parents never had the brains to teach you common courtesy."

"You're parents taught you, but you were too dense to get it drilled into your thick head. At least my parents haven't raised the biggest freak to walk the planet."

"You could be right. Lily may possibly be worse than you."

"Shut up, will you? Where are your parents?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She mocked, violently placing her hands on her large hips.

James didn't need to take any more of this abuse to his sane mind, and before he knew what was happening, he found himself nose to nose with her, his wand pointed threateningly at her throat. Of course he wasn't going to hurt her as much as he'd like to; He would get in major trouble if he did from Hogwarts his dad the minister, and the whole Ministry. But she didn't know that.

"This is serious. Where are your parents?"

She hesitatingly looked from the wand to James to the wand and back to James. A droplet of sweat slid down the side of her face, taking an inch of make-up with it.

"They...they're upstairs."

He lowered his wand. "Thank you. Now why don't you go wash a few layers of your 'ugly-concealer' off your face and we'll call it even."

Before waiting for a reply, he thundered up the stairs, jumping them three at a time. "Mr. and Mrs. Evans! Where are you?"

"Hello James." Mrs. Evans called from down the hallway. "We're in our room."

Within seconds, he was hunched over in their doorway. Mrs. Evans was fumbling with an ear lobe, trying to insert a pearl earring while Mr. Evans was fixing a bow tie. Evidently they were preparing for a formal meeting or something of that sort.

"Hurry! You must come over to my house now! Lily fainted again!"

"Oh dear lord!" Chloe instantly was out the door, not even bothering to see where her earring had flown to when she had dropped it in shock. Following close behind were Frank and James.

"Where is she?" Mrs. Evans loudly inquired to the whole house as the three of them entered.

"Come into the living room!" James' mother announced.

"Mum, is she alright?" He asked worriedly, looking at Lily, laying lifelessly on the green sofa.

"I'm sure she will be. She just fainted."

"I hope so."

It wasn't until then that James took notice of someone in the room who hadn't been there before. "Professor Dumbledore!"

The headmaster looked up from his deep conversation with Mr. Potter and smiled, then went back to his discussion, talking in hushed tones.

"I'm going to go call our doctor." Mr. Evans suggested, walking towards the door.

"No, that's alright. We've already contacted St. Mungo's."

"St. Mungo's? That's not a hospital I'm familiar with, Janine. Are you sure they know what they're doing?"

"Of course they do! They're the most renowned wizard hospital in England. Don't worry. There's not much to do with her anyway. Just give her a couple potions probably and then just wait for her to heal herself."

"Ok, just making sure. I don't want anything less for my daughter than any normal parent."

Janine smiled warmly. "And neither do I. She's almost like a daughter to me as well."

Everyone in the room, except for Dumbledore and Mr. Potter, sat down quietly and simply thank about the day's unfortunate events. It was so quiet, in fact, that James could discern a little of what his dad was saying.

"You know, Albus, this is the second time this has happened. And do you remember the date it happened last time?"

"Indeed I do."

"What does it all mean? Do you think it's just coincidence?"

"I have my own theories, Carson, as I do with everything. And as such, I don't feel at liberty to express them to you. There's not enough fact behind it for me to feel like there's a good chance it means anything."

"Yes, I understand. Everything in life seems to be merely a guessing game."

"Right you are. Perhaps she just was exhausted. That would explain the fainting."

"It could, but she and James were degnoming the garden. How can one possibly exert themselves so much while degnoming a garden that it knocks them out?"

"Erm...Dad, I might be able to answer that." James stood up and walked over to them.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Ahh...eavesdropping.... An old favorite pastime of yours in Hogwarts, was it not, Carson?"

He nodded shyly.

"Yes yes, traits do pass from father to son, no doubt. Young James here has quite a habit of it."

Mr. Potter shot him a glare. The words 'You-better-not' went unspoken, but were clearly understood by James.

"Now James, what was it you wanted to say?"

"Well, I don't know what you all were talking about with the 'dates' and all of the last time she fainted, or if it has any significance to what happened a few minutes ago, but... Well, it's very possible that she just has thin blood or something. She really went whack out there."

"What do you mean by that?" Dumbledore, even under the stressful situation, looked somewhat amused.

"She started spinning in circles to throw the gnome over the fence, but instead of throwing it, she just kept going faster and faster and faster. I told her to slow down, that she was going to fall or run into something, but she didn't listen. The next thing I knew, she went pale, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the gnome was flying through the air straight for the tool shed, and she fell."

"You see Albus. It might not have been because of...because of whatever you're thinking. You're theory as to what happened may be irrelevant. She probably just wore herself out."

Professor Dumbledore looked as if he were in two different worlds. He was physically present, but mentally, he could be anywhere. His eyes were seeping with intense curiosity, inquisition furrowing in his brows, his fingers stroking his long, white beard. "Perhaps. Perhaps."

Awaking with the tentativeness of a newborn-fawn taking its first steps into the world, she squinted as light flooded into her half-opened, crusted eyes, burning with sensitivity. As she shifted her hand from her side to wipe her eyelids, a beeping sound echoed through her eardrums.

No...not an alarm clock...I want to sleep, she thought.

Her hand swiped a lamp as she wildly groped around on the bed-side table for a clock to turn off.

Before she could successfully eliminate the alarm, she felt a whoosh of cool air breeze by, ruffling her hair, and someone mutter "Silencio".

"Ahh...quiet...now I can sleep," she murmured, rolling onto her side and burying her smiling face in the back of the couch.

"Lily, you've awaken!"

She felt a hand being placed on her shoulder, and tried to determine who it was, but the exhaustion hadn't word off and her memory wasn't yet in working order, so the person talking was more of a mystical, bodiless voice.

Pulling the covers up to her neck, she sighed heavily. "Awake...unfortunately."

"No, quite fortunate, I assure you. You've been sleeping for a while now."

"Yes...sleep...sleep sounds nice..." she mumbled dreamily.

"Lily, don't fall asleep. I'll force you to wake up if I have to," the voice said sternly.

Her better judgment at this point was against her as she began waving him away with her hand. "No God...I'm back later, if you don't mind...I don't think it's time for you to reveal my calling to back in a few hours..." And then she added as an afterthought, "Bring St. Michael too...I'd very much like to see him...goodnight."

The voice chuckled. "I most certainly am not God, but seeing as you won't cooperate, I'll have to pretend to be." He rolled her over and tilted her head. "Drink up! Here's to a speedy recovery."

He downed the vile liquid into her throat and in a matter of seconds, her eyes flew open.

"Professor Dumbledore! How nice to see you! But why are we in the Potters house?...with me in my skiing ducky pajamas?..."

He grinned with achievement and then chuckled at her embarrassed facial expression. "Lily, you're here because you fainted again, while degnoming Mrs. Potter's garden.

Her shoulders dropped in defeat. "Again!? This is getting weird and I feel like such a burden to everyone...I'm probably not even in my right mind either. How long have I been asleep?"

"It's June 26 meaning you've been asleep for nearly five days. Not nearly as long as last time, which is a good sign. And yes, you are in your sane mind, though I'm not sure if you were three minutes ago...You were calling me God and telling me to let you see St. Michael." His lips cracked a highly amused smile.

She blushed at the floor. "I've always wanted to meet St. Michael," she whispered.

"That's nothing to be ashamed about! In fact, I've always wanted to meet St. Francis of Assisi, patron of all animals. Wouldn't it be fascinating to learn from someone how to understand all creatures?"

Lily smiled.

"As for your earlier question about you attire, as James. He seemed quite taken with the ducks on skis."

She burst out laughing. "Figures."

Ironically, the moment they said that, James came bounding down the stairs with two broomsticks.

"Yes! Lily, you're up!"

"Looks that way." She flashed him a smile. "So, what's this I hear about you liking my pajamas?"

His jaw dropped, faltering over his own words as he said, "I...er...I don't...what kind of man do you think I am?! Skiing ducks, no thanks..."

"A reliable source tells me that you find them most becoming on me."

He looked as if he were about to faint from the shock when he turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Mum! Why'd you tell her I liked her pajamas? I told you not --"

She cut him off. "Ha! So you DO like them, huh?"

He slapped himself.

"I caught you red-handed."

"Fine, you outsmarted me...for once."

She wanted to continue teasing him. "Well, since you've admitted to it, tell me, what do you like about them?" She stood up and began posing for him like a model.

"Erm..."

"I need a little more detail than that, James."

"Umm...they're cute?"

She giggled at his uncertainty. "Just like you," she said, squeezing his cheeks like his Grandmama always did to him.

"Hey, stop that!" He swatted her hand away. "You know I hate that!"

"I aim to please."

"More like, you aim to tease."

"...Torment..." She corrected.

"Yeah." He had just noticed that Dumbledore was observing their pointless conversation. "Oh, hello Headmaster!"

"Hello James." His eyes twinkled and Lily could tell he was trying to keep a straight face.

"Well come on Lily, let's go!"

"Where are we going?"

He held up the broomsticks like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Duh, summer training!"

"Great! Let me go change clothes though." She headed for the door and was halfway across the yard when she heard Dumbledore's soft, yet stern voice.

"Miss Evans!..."

She stuck her head back through the door. "Yes, Professor?"

"No Quidditch today. You were just unconcious for 5 days, you need rest. I'll go tell your parents you're awake, but you need to sleep."

"Aww...I don't want to sleep..." She trudged back over to the couch, passing James who looked crestfallen.

Dumbledore chuckled as he took his leave, saying to himself, "Teenage girls...polar mood swings. They are so tried they can't move and then 5 minutes later, scolding your conscience because you won't let them play Quidditch..."

"So James," Lily began as the headmaster left the room, leaving a trail of gloominess behind him. "Seeing as I can't play Quidditch, I don't have a book with me to read, and my parents are coming over soon, why don't you update me on all that's happened while I was asleep. Knowing them, you'll probably have to leave me alone so I can 'rest up'."

He grinned. "Sirius came to see you, but he couldn't stay for long. He went on vacation. Remus, we couldn't find him. He's traveling too, but I don't remember where. And as for Peter, it looks like he's found himself a girl... ditzy blonde, she is... but maybe that way they'll be good for eachother."

As he winked, a pillow was chucked at him from Lily who was giggling. "That's so mean!"

He chuckled and then quickly returned to the topic. "Kristy and Ashley came over too. I don't know how they heard about your condition, but they were here."

"Really? I wish I could have seen them."

"Well, Mum had to kick them out of the house."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief. "Kick them out? What for?"

Lily could tell that James was trying not to laugh, as his sides were slightly shaking and he was holding his breath.

"They, of course, wanted you awake. So Ashley, knowing where you're most susceptible, started tickling your feet. Even though you were unconscious, you evidently could still feel it because you and her really were battling it out. She had a good grip on your ankle and kept tickling. All the while, you were trying to kick her with all the strength you had in you." He smiled. "It was quite a show. But then you accidently kicked a porcelin vase off that coffee table and it shattered. Ashley was really upset, but Dad charmed it back together. It was no big deal; everyone was just shocked for a moment."

Lily didn't know what to say. ALl she could think of was how brainless her amigas could be sometimes.

"So they got kicked out for breaking a repairable vase?" She asked skeptically, not understanding what the fuss was all about.

"That was only part of it. See, after Ashley's tickle thing didn't work, Kristy got the brilliant idea of waking you with water."

As he rolled his yes, Lily snorted with laughter. "Oh my gosh! Haha! You've got to be kidding me!"

"Nope. Because before I knew it, she was lugging a pail of water with ice cubes in here and then both you and the couch were absolutely drenched. Of course it didn't work..."

He was going to go on, but he saw that Lily was having a laugh-attack.

Clutching her stomach and rolling from side to side, she giggled. "Dear lord, and I thought you had ditzy friends! That is too funny."

"Yeah, taht was the straw that broke the camel's back. When Mum saw the mess and you shivvering like a madman, she asked them to go home."

"Awww... poor Ash and Kris. I hope they're not mad."

"Naw, 'course not. They found it really hilarious."

After a couple of minutes of laughter and re-enactments by none-other-than James, Lily finally asked the question that had been prying at her conscience.

"James, when I fainted or whatever, what happened to the gnome I was throwing? I know I was spinning and he was in the air, but I highly doubt that I set him down gently when I fainted. I just hope I didn't hurt him."

He snorted quietly, trying to hide his reaction, which was to laugh.

"What is so funny?"

He bit his lip nervously, still keeping himself from laughing.

"James..." she said warningly. "Tell me! I didn't kill it did I?"

Her face was too much for him to bear. He just couldn't see how it was possible for someone to sincerely care about those ugly gnomes. The worry in her eyes for something so pitiful was nothing short of hilarious, and he couldn't hold in his chuckles anymore.

Lily was startled when James burst into hysteric laughter. "Would you mind telling me what is so amusing about all this?"

He pointed a shaky finger at her, still laughing. "You!"

"Me?!"

"Yes, you! It's just a dumb gnome for Merlin's sake, and you act like it's a child!"

Lily humphed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, it never did anything to hurt me. And it's not that funny."

"Yes it is!"

"You're insufferable, James. Instead of laughing over my feelings toward helpless creatures, just tell me what happened to the darn gnome!"

At this, James laughed even harder.

Lily groaned, slapping her forehead with the palm of her hand. "It never fails... how I get stuck with this moron is beyond me. I can see that I'm never going to get a straight answer out of you, so it you'll kindly shut that gap between your un-brushed teeth, I'd like to take a nap," she scowled.

James wiped away a tear. "The gnome...he...he..."

"He what?"

Taking a deep breathe to get himself under control, he stood up. "Ok, when you fainted, you let go of the gnome in mid-air and..."

Lily wrinkled her brows in question when James chuckled. "And what?"

"It went flying through the air..."

"No! It was soaring through the air? Poor thing..." She whined.

James couldn't bear the pressure stored up inside him and just went into uncontrollable laughter. "He flew...he flew into the shed!"

"What!?"

"You let go of his legs and he just smashed into the tool shed -- head first!" He went into a series of immitations, his hand being the gnome and the side of the couch acting as the barn.

Lily was now shaking with giggles. "I actually think I remember seeing that now, before I fell. But he's not hurt, right?"

He dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. "No way. His nose is a little flatter than it was at first, and he's left our garden for good. Too scared that it'll happen again, I guess."

"Alright, as long as he's ok."

The conversation ended there, and as if on cue, the Evans knocked on the door and took Lily home happily.