i.

You have never been quite comfortable in the way that your body sets and moves.

There has always been an empty space in your head; a feeling in your spine like something is slightly off. One bone, perhaps, protruding and ruining the flow of a perfect machine.

You are thirteen when you try to tell your brother this.

He laughs.

ii.

You figure, were it not for your vanity and the necessity of your work, you would find it fit to not move at all. Sometimes you revel in the thought of simply staying in stasis and deteriorating as your mind wanders.

You grow up and such things are not an option. You perfect the machine as well as you can, watching well and fit. You run and leap and chase and fuck, and it is all lovely.

But you can still feel it.

iii.

You are a freak.

You might be a monster now, you have powers that you can't explain and the world seems to be caving in on you. And it all traces back, and it makes a sort of sad sense to you. You have always felt odd because you always were odd.

iv.

The thought of being a vessel is terrifying and awful, especially with the circumstances, but you cannot lie and say that you do not wonder if it would fill the empty hole in your head.

v.

It does.

vi.

You know that you should resist it, but it feels so right. You are filled up, and you move with a sweet swiftness that you only knew in dreams. He kills, and you struggle against it, but it's so clean and clear that you realize your first instinct is to revel in it.

He laughs inside your head and invites you in. It feels like tangible lights, maybe, swirling around your consciousness. You feel so very complete and intimate, that you almost forget to pull back when he tries to poke around in your consciousness. You have a plan, remember? You have a world to save.

"Sammy, don't be so rude," he says, but he's saying it in your voice.

He commands it better than you ever did. You are getting well and truly scared, not the show that you put on as he (you) tore into the flesh of your prom date. He wraps himself around you in your head and, despite yourself, it calms you down.

There is a weight on your back and he stretches it out. You get just the gist of it, the outline of cold, blue wings made of lightening and rage. They are his and yours now too.

You don't resist.

vii.

You forget yourself until your see your brother, all terrified bravado and suicidal glory.

And you remember with the power of a past that you very nearly discarded. You are struck by the fact that, even if he didn't seem so, your brother always understood. Always made up for your discomfort, always tried to fill that empty space in your head. That strikes you as the saddest, most beautiful thing.

You shake off tendrils of light and abandon wings, if only for a second, to relive a feeling that you thought you despised.

And it is then that you save the world.

I GOT BORED AND THEN IWAS IN THE SHOWER AND I SAMIFER'D AND IVE BEEN READING HOMESTUCK SO IVE BEEN THINKING THE SECOND PERSON I HOPE THAT YOU LIKED IT!