Hello Kiddies… DeadLegato here. It seems Rainbound posted the ROUGH DRAFT by mistake. Dun worry. I stole her password and now I'm fixing it.

We don't own Invader Zim. We don't own U-Haul. If they sue all the authors [DeadLegato, Rainbound_Angel, SharpasSticks, and ChibiKuroneko] they would get a sharpie pen and a pair of puppy chewed Zim sandals out of the bunch of us.

****

Red paused in front of his mirror, pulling the deep black bands of his bodice down over his hips. If there was any feature on his body he hated, it was his disproportionately large hips. He'd wanted to get plastek surgery, but nooooooo, Purple said that wasn't the right way to go about it. Nevermind that Red personally knew that Purple had his antennae shortened at one point, after getting tired of constantly receiving courting presents from enamored male Irkens. He whirled around. Is it just me, he wondered, or is my butt getting bigger? He sighed audibly. It was almost time to leave, and he wasn't anywhere near ready.
Lounging nearby on a plush, blue velvet chair, Purple had a pair of padded black antennae phones on. He would occasionally look up to cast amused glances at Red, but mostly he kept his attention to the book-screen lying in his lap.
Red grabbed Purple's sound pieces and pulled them off his head. "Tell me the truth... does this robe make me look fat?" Red asked, spinning around for the millionth time in the uniform he'd always worn.

After a pause, Purple said "yes," returning his jewel tone eyes to the screen without a second thought to Red's paranoia.

"I knew it!" Red whined. "I've got to change!"

"There's no time," Purple shouted, pointing at the wall clock. "We should have left five minutes ago. They made their way easily to Red's cruiser, twisting down the snake like halls of the Massive. Red had long ago requested that he be the driver when the two of them went on trips, since Red didn't trust the driving of even a chauffeur. Purple had put up a fight at first, as he'd spent most of his young life as a Voot racer, but eventually, he simply decided that letting Red drive was easier than going through a screaming match with him every time they went out.

Purple adjusted the gray belt that was hugging him tightly across his chest, tugging to make sure that it wouldn't badly wrinkle his uniform. His reflection in the dome of the ship was pale and ghostly, staring seemingly back at Red with black eyes. Red shivered involuntarily.

"Can we listen to my disk?" Purple asked, holding up his disk player. "It's new, I haven't heard all of it yet."

"Too late!" Red cried, flicking a black button and blasting noise that passed as Irken rap music so loud that Purple let out a little squeal of "YI!" and clamped his hands over his tingling antennae.

"Did you have to do that?" Purple asked sarcastically.

Red, in response, started loudly singing "Whomp, there it is!"

The ship blasted across space. Purple clung to the "Oh poop" handle on the ceiling most of the entire trip, more because he knew it annoyed the hell out of Red than anything else "My flying is not that bad," Red grumbled.

"I agree. It's worse," Purple quipped, grinning like an idiot at Red. Red was about to retort, when he noticed something out of the corner of his ruby colored eye.

"PUNCH BUGGY! NO SLAP BACKS!" Red screamed, punching Purple hard on the arm.

"Ow," Purple cried. "No fair! I couldn't see it cuz your big, fat carcass was in my way."

"Oh, you want to make something out of this? Don't make me pull this ship over, young man!"

Purple and Red burst into hysterics, laughing so hard they nearly cried and Red nearly sideswipped a parked space bus as he gasped for air, clutching his aching ribs with one hand and the controls with the other. It was funny how they could fight and fight and fight without ever really getting mad at each other. That's the kind of fighting that's unique to siblings, Red thought amusedly as he tried to avoid rear ending the slow ship in front of them. "Stupid traffic," he muttered.

"We should have left earlier," Purple taunted, sticking his stripped, serpentine tongue out at Red.

"Someday your face will freeze like that!" Red snapped as he easily landed the ship in the docking bay. They'd come to Conventia to join a panel of other leaders on the subject of peace between their empires. In actuality, it was over a dispute between the Planet Jackers and the Planet Uhaulers, and they'd agreed to let the debate occur on Conventia since it was neutral ground to the two in the fight.

"This is going to be boring," Purple sighed as he jumped over the side of the ship, rather than simply floating down.

"Hey, maybe they'll start throwing chairs like last time," Red said with a shrug. Both nodded in agreement that a few broken limbs, well not their own, but broken limbs on others would make the debate livelier.

Red spun around in his foam and leather office chair until he got dizzy and nearly hurled on the off-pink agenda sheet set lightly in front of him. Purple checked his watch again. The Planet Uhaulers were late. "I don't think they're going to show," the Planet Jacker representative, a pale blue female said as she began to pack up her vinyl suitcase.

"Very rude of them," Purple said, shaking his head so that his antennae swung. He shuffled lightly through his papers, sighing in boredom. Everything was dead silence, until a new sound slowly made its presence known. "What the...?" Purple asked.

"It sounds like something's rolling," Red replied, standing up. Indeed, something was rolling. A small silver glove was making its way slowly across the floor in a perfectly straight line, not deviating at all. By this time, the entire delegation was on its feet, staring as the metal orb made its way towards them.

It rolled to the feet of the Planet Jacker representative. The gathered leaders and negotiators were already beginning to back off by that point. She was about to take a step back, when a little flag popped out of the top. "This is what we think of your Peace Talks," it stated in bloody, smeared red letters, even darker then tallest Red's eyes.

Red didn't have time to think beyond "Oh, hell," as the resulting explosion, a hot white burst of painful light, threw him from his feet, tossing him across the room, where he limply came to lay in a pile of debris, bleeding from the shrapnel embedded in his torn green skin.

***

There, I fixed it. -DeadLegato