I'm not the one, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

I'm not the one

A/N: Just a little, sad and depressing USUK story for you. Don't worry the story ends good, I hate having bad endings. This is my first ever song fic, so be kind. It's best to listen to this with 3oh!3's song 'I'm not the one' playing. Enjoy!

You're way too young to be broken
You're way too young to fall apart
You're way too young to play these games
But you better start
But you better start

He'd done it, it was all his fault. Running out, disappearing and almost jumping off that bridge. And, that's why Alfred in is the hospital. The sickening sound, of bones colliding with metal. Arthur, slumped down on the ground, tears prickling at his eyes all over again. He wiped furiously, angry with himself for his stupid mistakes. But still, finding your lover holding another so closely and romantically would make anybody break down. And, that's what's happening to him now.

This is when it starts
From the beating of your heart till the street lamps talk to you
Jumping off of the edge or asleep in your head
Everything's turning dark to you
I went to pick the up the parts
The doctors hiding the charts
He won't let me see this side of you
It's on the tip of my tongue You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you

He'd ran, all the way to the hospital after the ambulance had taken Alfred. He'd ran into the hospital, and demanded the doctor to let him see Alfred, and to know what was wrong with him. But, he'd been denied of that privilege. But, he'd pushed past, and barrelled into the tiny hospital room. Inside the room, was an unconscious young man, his lover. A machine, was breathing for him, and he had needles poking everywhere into his body. Arthur had, walked over and placed his hand, on his lover's cold one.

"It's... going to be ok." He lied, more to himself then to the empty shell of his lover. His head swam, as the cold mask below him stayed quiet and shallow. He felt dizzy, and his head turned black. Tears poured down his face, and he ran out of the room, all the way to his current location in the city in the middle of the night.

I'm not the one
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you
You better find somebody else to get a hold of yourself
I'm not the one
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you

He was falling apart, and he knew it. They'd been in love, so happily in love. And, when had they stopped being in love? When, had Alfred started looking elsewhere for love? When, had the begun to deny each other? He should have seen the signs. Alfred, began to readily deny that they were together anymore to his friends, though he'd been so eager to make them accept him as he were. He began to see right through Arthur, like he was invisible. And, feeling so hurt, Arthur himself returned those actions. And, during that time they drifted even further apart. No more smiles, affection or touches. He wasn't able to blush anymore when they touched; he didn't seek out Alfred's hands, he pulled away from any type of touching. They no longer hugged, kissed or held hands anymore. And, it slowly was killing him.

It was the second I lit
Your first cigarette
I forget who you used to be
And I bit my lip
The second you sipped, the poison that was mixed for me

Arthur also, began to drink more heavily, and smoked more. He stayed at work later, hung around the bar longer, to prolong his time until he had to go home. No matter how long he stayed out, no matter how much he drank, he was still the same person, afraid of the soon to be consequences. They'd fling angry words at each other, as Alfred got just as drunk. He began to forget, how Alfred used to look. Without, the constant angry words, the fights and the hits. He could vaguely remember, how his boyfriend's smile could bring the most depressed person out of their depression. But, Alfred never smiled for him anymore, never touched him at all. They stayed that way; they stayed cold and cool around each other, almost like they were strangers just happening to live together. And, he couldn't do anything no matter how hard he tried to help. And, he fell slowly into a depression, drinking even more. And, he began to see himself as a coward. Why? Because, he couldn't bear to leave, and just maybe, Alfred was one too.

They grew further apart, fuelled by their stubbornness to let everything go. It became worse, when Arthur got home late, and found what appeared to be signs of another -or quite a few more- lover. Lipstick on Alfred's cheek whenever he came home and was denied a greeting, a rumpled bed though he knew Alfred liked a made one, he also began to find women's underwear around the house, and he sometimes heard women giggling whenever he called home to say he'd be late. It was almost like; Alfred took pride in showing off his betrayal, or was just so dumb that he didn't think to actually hide it. And, it hurt even more. That he could be deserted just like that, because Alfred just didn't want him anymore. And even though he knew his lover was doing all this, he couldn't convince himself to do the same. Guess, he still had his conscience even though he knew he was being cheated on.

Drink the poison lightly
Cuz' there are deeper and darker things than you
I know, cuz' I've been there too
I know it might seem frightening
To have the world fall apart right under your shoes
Trust me, you'll make it through

Everything, had begun to fall apart in front of him, and he couldn't bear to stop it. He was -still is- a coward, and couldn't force himself to speak up to the man he still foolishly loved. No matter how far he got, he always was pushed back to the start. It was always by either his or Alfred's own stubbornness. Depression pressed heavily on his already weary heart. He couldn't see the light at the end. He knew it was there, but every time he got closer it seemed to move further away from him. And, he was dying within himself just to get there. To stop.

Even, through all of this, he stuck be Alfred's side, waiting for the end. But, he got fed up with it, and left his lover alone. With a note simply stating "I'm not the one for you." He disappeared, and left the life of Alfred. Especially, that stupid goofy ring Alfred had bantered him into wearing. Even that, hurt him too much, remembering that carefree and full of love smile. He moved out of their shared house, and managed to score his old apartment back. He was still depressed; worried he'd left him alone in the wrong way. He waited, for either a doorbell ring or the phone to start chortling. None came, for months on end. Then, out of the blue one day came a doorbell ring. He was still nursing a hangover, one from another bout of lonely drinking from his depression. He hadn't bothered to check who was there. He threw open the door, complaining. And, standing there was his rugged and beautiful ex-lover, Alfred. He widened his eyes, and then looked sharply down at the ground. The note he'd left, was shoved under his face harshly. He looked up, and met hurt and cold blue eyes. The American, was shaking visibly, tears in his eyes.

"What is this?" Alfred hissed at him.

"Goodbye... I can't do it anymore Al! I just... can't." He snapped, hurt that he had to explain what the note already said, and that he had to talk to this man.

"I get that! But why?!" Alfred bellowed at him.

"You have to understand! We aren't in love anymore! You cheat on me! I know for a fact now. And, it's just not... healthy to stay with you. Please, leave me alone now." He began to close the door, but Alfred slammed a foot between it, and forced him to re-open it. Alfred forced himself inside, and wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller brit.

"You should have told me. I thought you were bored with me. I never wanted to cheat, I was just looking for the affection that I wasn't getting at home. I missed the old you. The one, who'd laugh and smile with me. Can we... try again?" Alfred whispered into Arthur's ears, pleading with him. He did miss this boy. He wanted a life together again. But...

"Alfred, I never stopped loving you. Only you did. We can't do it again. We'll just fall back into the same pattern. Again." He pleaded with the man, hoping to get it over with.

"No! I won't let you! I promise, I will never doubt you or cheat on you again! Please... just come back home?" Alfred begged, pulling back and staring him down. Arthur's heart began to ache again, hurting him even more. It wasn't right to be with him, or without him. He nodded, and was enveloped in a warm and tender kiss, just like they used to.

I'm not the one,
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one,
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one,
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one,
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one,
I'm not the one who wants to hurt you

Arthur knew, that Alfred and him weren't perfect together, for really very compatible. He knew, he wasn't the one for Alfred, and Alfred wasn't the one for him. But, he was willing to try again. And, hey. Who knows? Life, has funny ways to bring people closer, and more in love. And, he was going to try even harder.

Fin