Chapter One:

Phil's POV:

I sat nibbling on a slice of toast whilst watching some pointless reality show, in the middle of the afternoon there is never anything on. My best friend Dan sat on the sofa that formed an L-shape with mine. He sat with his legs folded underneath him and his laptop on top, this was how we spent most of our days in our apartment. I couldn't complain though, Dan and myself always seemed to find fun in everything small thing we did. Whether it was baking pancakes or playing old video games.

Dan and I have been friends for almost four years now, it sounds cheesy but I can barely even remember a time when he wasn't part of my life. Noticing his comment on my video was one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

I watched him frown to himself as he tried to edit his new video, his eyebrows burrowed and he let out a sigh every so often. I had noticed he hadn't been in a good mood all week – but he had shrugged it off all week, saying he wasn't feeling well. I had just assumed he'd had a fight with his girlfriend Leah or something. I didn't like to ask about Leah for two reasons: I felt like I was intruding somewhere I didn't belong and because in all honesty I just didn't like talking about her. Dan couldn't see it, but there was just something weird about her – she was really controlling and didn't like just spending time in the apartment playing video games or watching a movie (Dan's ideal girl). And the more Dan saw her, the less I saw of him – which was always a bad thing. But of course I didn't like to talk about that either, I didn't like to be the attention seeking friend. I just wanted Dan to be happy.

I reached out for my laptop that sat on the table, and read through my latest mentions on twitter. One tweet from a fan in particular caught my eye: 'Phil, why can't you just admit your love for Dan?' the girl asked.

"I don't know" I said out loud without meaning too.

Dan looked up at me, "What?" He said, looking confused.

"Oh sorry" I said trying to brush it off, "I was just talking to myself".

Dan shrugged and went back to working on his laptop, I could feel my cheeks burn red. I didn't love Dan, did I? I mean of course I did, as a friend – but nothing more. Yet I couldn't even seem to fool myself. I looked up and quickly glanced at Dan, I felt light-headed. I wasn't gay, my whole life I had liked girls, I had girlfriends. Never before had I felt this way about a boy. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, I was embarrassed – like Dan could hear my thoughts – which was just stupid.

I peeked up at him one last time, I couldn't be in love with my best friend. What was I going to do?

Dan's POV:

It was Wednesday afternoon and I was sitting in the living room editing a video for tomorrow. The editing was boring but it had to be done, fans were already tweeting me asking when the video would be up. My phone buzzed beside me, Leah – again. Leah is my on and off girlfriend of a good couple of months now. 'Coming over tonight? Love you x' the text read. My heart sunk, going over to her house was the last thing I wanted to do right now. The words 'Love you' stuck in my head, I mean sure I had said it back to her plenty of times but I had never really been sure if I had meant it. I don't think I have ever been properly in love before, or if I have it was a total let down compared to what movies and books say. I have had more girlfriends that you could count on both hands and sure I liked them all, but there was never this so called 'spark' people apparently experience.

Phil said something and completely knocked me off my train of thought, I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh sorry I was just talking to myself" he said smiling awkwardly at then looking back down at his laptop.

Classic Phil I thought to myself.

My eyes began burning I had been looking at my screen for so long, who ever said being a YouTuber was easy? I had a slight stomach ache and my head pounded, the editing had consumed so much of my day I hadn't even eaten anything yet.

I heard my phone buzz beside me again and this time I was tempted to take it and chuck it half way across the room. It was probably partly due to the fact that I had been staring at this computer screen my entire day.

"Phil, I need to get out of this house" I said, "Fancy going into town for a while?".

"Anything is better than whatever this is" He said pointing to the TV.

I shot him a grin back, and then headed to my room to get changed out of sweats and into something more outside world appropriate. I sighed as I looked in the mirror, staring at my hobbit hair. Phil and the fans always told me it looked fine, nice even but no matter how many compliments I got I still considered it to be atrocious. I pulled my brown fluffy hat on and I was ready.

Phil and I both walked out of our rooms at the same time, both wearing black skinny jeans – I couldn't help but laugh. There wasn't anyone else in this entire world who was more in sync with me than Phil, I guess that's why we get along so well.

Despite the fact Leah and the new video were both weighing on mine, the fresh air hitting my face was such a relief. My stomach ache had become way more intense and I was beginning to feel light-headed.

"I seriously need food" I told Phil.