The waiting Game

By

Hannio

Chapter One

Harsh Words

Disclaimer – None of the characters mentioned in the below work of fiction do not belong to me, I am merely using them for my own entertainment purposes.

Author Note – I've had this story written for a while but I just never got around to typing it up. I seem to have a fascination with dealing with a near death Raph and how it affects them all… this is just another take

Please enjoy

Raphael was going to die, he just knew it.

He wasn't sure how he knew it, he just did. There was a feeling in his gut, a sharp pain that gnawed at him every time he allowed himself to think of his brother.

Raphael was going to die and there was absolutely nothing he could do. Everything he had attempted had failed to bring Raphael out of his coma and now he was out of options. He had nothing left to try. Now it was a simple waiting game to see whether Raphael opened his eyes again or not.

He sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly over his burning eyes. He needed some sleep desperately but he didn't dare allow his eyes to close. He was scared, scared that if he closed his eyes even for a split second then when he reopened them Raphael would be gone and all that would be left would be his cold, unmoving body on the bed.

He wished the wooden chair he had been perched on was more comfortable, he had long since lost the ability to feel the back of his legs. The whole situation was a mess.

"How is he doing Donnie?" Donatello glanced up and blinked blearily at his eldest brother noting that Leonardo was looking exactly how Donatello was feeling.

Like Shit.

He shrugged, his gaze dropping to the figure on the bed, dark eyes searching for any slight change that would indicate that Raphael was finally on the mend and on his way back to them.

He found nothing.

"He's the same as he was yesterday and the day before that and every day since this whole mess happened Leo. He's not getting any better. He hasn't opened his eyes in a week. He just lies there. I doubt he even knows we're here." There was a pause as Donatello's words faded away. Donatello kept his eyes focused on Raphael trying to ignore the fact that he could feel Leonardo's eyes burning into the side of his head.

He hated that look more then any other look which his brothers possessed, Leonardo's leader look as Michelangelo would call it with a smirk, A look whose sheer purpose seemed to be an attempt to peel back skin and tissue to see what lay beneath. As though their thoughts and emotions were that easy to read and decipher.

What annoyed Donatello the most was that half the time Leonardo got it right.

"Is he any worse?" Leonardo suddenly asked, breaking the silence between them and forcing Donatello's eyes back to his.

"What?" he asked with a frown, blinking at him as he wished for the hundredth time that his head didn't ache as much as it did. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept.

"I asked you whether Raphael was any worse"

"Well he isn't any better" Donatello remarked shortly, wishing his thought process felt sharper. He felt slow and fuzzy, each thought taking a considerable amount of effort. It was a feeling he wasn't used to experiencing.

"That's not what I'm asking you" Leonardo replied quietly. "I'm asking you whether Raph's condition has deteriorated since Mikey first dragged him back here"

"Well no but..." Donatello began.

"Well that's something positive" Leonardo interrupted, clearly speaking to him self. His expression went blank for a moment as he obviously began thinking about something, something which he clearly wasn't willing to share with Donatello.

Donatello wasn't sure whether it was the lack of sleep or sheer worry over a situation which he had no control over but somehow every word that Leonardo was uttering to him was fanning a fire within him. He resisted the urge to leap forward and punch Leonardo in the face.

"I'm sorry did you actually just say that this was something positive?" Donatello repeated coming angrily to his feet as he watched Leonardo turn to leave the room. "You think the fact that Raphael is still in a coma is something which can be viewed as something positive?" Leonardo turned back, watching him with narrowed eyes as he answered an icy tone to his voice which should have placed Donatello on guard.

"Yes, I consider the fact that he isn't any worse to be something positive Donnie" Donatello snorted in disbelief. There was a distant part of him which knew he should remain silent like he normally did in these situations. He should retake his seat and let Leonardo go and do whatever it was that Leonardo wanted to do but it seemed that his brain had somehow disconnected from his mouth.

"Then you're an absolute fool" he heard himself say sharply "Let me spell it out for you Leo since you've seemed to have not grasped the severity of the situation. Everyday that passes where Raph doesn't wake up is another nail in his coffin. He might never wake up Leo. We may never again get to talk to him or laugh with him. He will be gone for good. Everything that makes Raph, Raph will be gone. Only three of us will remain and there will be a massive hole which we can't replace and you view this as something to be grateful for? Are you insane?"

The silence that followed his words was longer and frostier then the previous one. Donatello closed his eyes briefly wishing he could gather up his words and ignore the fact he had said them. Something he knew was impossible; the damage had already been done. He swallowed hard and opened his eyes slowly to see Leonardo watching him with a look which made his squirm and drop his eyes to the floor.

Leonardo didn't look angry. Leonardo looked furious and for once all that rage was directed at him. He was just beginning to wonder how the other turtle would react when he spoke.

"What would you have me do?" he demanded causing Donatello to blink in confusion at him "You're in this room with him twenty four seven do you even have any idea how anyone else is coping with what happened? You know unfortunately Donnie life doesn't just stop to let us deal with thing however much we may want it to. I wish I could sit in here with Raph all the time as well but I can't because I still have responsibilities to deal with. What am I meant to tell father and Mikey when they ask me for an update? That there is absolutely no hope and Raph is going to die? That Father will lose his son and Mikey his best friend? I'm sorry Donatello but I can't do that. If you want to be the one who breaks their hearts then be my guest but I'm not going to be the one to utter those words to them. If me saying he's no worse brings them comfort at this time then that's exactly what I'll say"

Donatello felt his face flush with shame as Leonardo turned and left the room without another word. He sank slowly on the chair resting his elbows against the mattress and rested his head in his hand, taking in some deep breath ignoring the tears he could feel leaking from his eyes.

There had to be something he could do before his family self combusted. There just had to be.

Author Note – I always find writing argument scenes between the turtles as difficult especially when its Leo and Donnie doing the arguing. Still I hope I did a good enough job. I'm not sure how long this story will be. I'll simply play it by ear but I hope you enjoyed it enough to review.

Thanks