Chapter 1
The Avengers, the Earth's mightiest heroes, were draped lazily across the wide, expensive leather couches in one of Tony Stark's roomier mansions, on the coast of some pretentious ocean beach or another. The Avengers minus Thor, that is; the god was off exploring Tony's house, most likely in search for another box of Pop-Tarts. Well, the Avengers minus Thor, plus Peter Parker, actually – Nick Fury had been considering the young hero's file, and wanted to see if he would be a good fit with the rest of the group. This wasn't a problem for the others. They all liked the kid.
Steve was sighing exasperatedly, covering his face with his hands as he sank down into the leather couch.
"We just need one more person for our laser tag outing! How hard can this really be?"
Clint shrugged, looking utterly uninterested with the situation.
"Everyone's out of town. Or busy. Or morons."
"Clint, who else do you know who's not here?" Tony asked him.
Clint was saved from replying by the appearance of Pepper Potts, who was passing through the room holding a clipboard and shuffling through the weighty stack of papers piled on top of it. She glanced up and noticed the group assembled there, bonelessly adorning the expensive furniture (except for Bruce, who was sitting politely off to the side reading a book and doing his best to ignore the situation), and she sighed, shaking her head.
"Not everyone…" Tony muttered as Pepper turned to walk out of the room. "Yo, Pepper!"
Pepper paused, considering whether to turn around and see what Tony wanted or to just keep walking and not look back. That was so often the key to a peaceful day.
When she didn't respond, Tony raised his voice, thoroughly undaunted by her silence.
"You. Us. Laser tag. You up for it?"
Pepper's jaw clenched and she turned pointedly to face him, raising her eyebrows.
"You really have the nerve to ask me that? After what happened when you convinced me to go bowling with all of you?" Her eyes shot daggers as she passed her gaze over the rest of them. "I'll pass, thank you very much." The sarcasm was heavy on the final few syllables.
Pepper stormed out of the room, her shiny black high heels clicking angrily on the tiled floor of the hallway as she ascended the staircase.
"What about Loki?" a voice piped up. Everybody swiveled to stare at Peter, whose young face was earnest. Natasha nearly snarled with distaste, and Clint regarded him scathingly.
"Kid, that is the most idiotic – "
"Why not though?" Steve interrupted, looking at Peter with curiosity and wonder.
"Steve, he's a crazed psychopath with anger management issues who tried to kill all of us and enslave the human race," Natasha said sharply. "What about that says 'fun recreational day out' to you?"
Steve looked slightly hurt.
"Well, we need another person, don't we? And I really, really, wanted to try this, because you all said it was so fun, so I just thought that maybe we could give him another chance?
"Yeah, or maybe we should just lie down in front of him and let him walk across our faces for a bit, because that sounds like almost as much fun, and cheaper, too," Natasha snorted.
"Oh come on, Tash, I really, really want to meet him!" Peter cried pleadingly.
At that moment, Thor strolled triumphantly into the room, clutching a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts in his large, peculiarly muscular fist.
Tony stood up with a cry of, "Ah, there you are! The man of the moment! We were considering inviting your dear brother to accompany us this afternoon – thoughts?"
Thor tilted his head up in deliberation, chewing his Pop-Tart thoughtfully, a few crumbs stuck in his beard.
"Well, Loki has been imprisoned in the Asgardian royal palace since we captured him – "
"In the palace?!" Clint interrupted incredulously. "What sort of a punishment is that?!"
Thor ignored him and continued speaking through his mouthful of delicious toaster pastry.
" – And his behaviour has improved profoundly. Of my judgment, Loki should be granted this gracious opportunity to begin afresh."
Steve nodded in agreement.
"Right, so how exactly do we contact the Asgardian palace?"
"I believe Loki's numerical sequence code for his personal glowing screen should suffice, does it not?" Thor replied.
"Loki has a cell phone?" Natasha asked skeptically.
"It is often difficult to stay in touch with my brother," Thor replied, shrugging. "I assumed that one of these - 'cell phones,' you say? - Bruce showed me will help me keep track of Loki. It is such a struggle with him as of late."
"Cell phones work in space?" Clint muttered.
"See, I tried that strategy with Steve, but our senior citizen here still can't figure out how to use the damned thing," said Tony, clapping Steve so firmly on the shoulder that it would have been quite painful if Steve had not built up so much muscle there. Steve looked embarrassed, hanging his head.
"There are so many buttons, and I can't tell which is the right one…"
"To call me, all you have to do is hold down the button with the '2' on it. Is that really so difficult?" Tony cried, throwing up his hands.
Natasha rolled her eyes at them, turning to the rest of the group.
"So who's going to be the one to call him?"
"I'll do it!" Peter volunteered excitedly, but a chorus of No!'s followed his outcry.
"Why not?!" Peter asked indignantly, his face falling.
"We're trying to minimize exposure of Loki to impressionable children," came the reply from Clint, in an unexpectedly serious voice.
"You're kidding, right?" Peter asked, staring at him.
After several minutes of heated deliberation, Tony ended up being the one having to call 'him'.
Grumbling slightly, with everybody else (except for Bruce, who was pointedly ignoring them with his nose buried in his book) crowded eagerly around him to hear, Tony pulled out his phone and had Thor read out the number, which his phone called automatically. Steve was staring, transfixed, at this spectacle ("Phones can hear you saying that?!").
The other line was picked up after only one ring, and there was a moment where they could hear the other person breathing, as if the person was trying to remember what the custom was to say when picking up a call, before Loki's voice came through, slightly hesitantly – "This is Loki, son of Laufey, speaking?"
"Hey, Loki? Yeah, this is Tony, uh, son of Howard…"
"Tony? Tony Stark?" Loki interrupted sharply, obviously taken aback. "Why would you be calling me?"
Tony took a deep breath.
"Well, Thor accidently smashed his cell phone, Steve doesn't know how to use his, Bruce didn't want to get involved in case you aggravated him and his heart rate elevated too sharply, Natasha flatly refused, and Clint mysteriously disappeared again. So that leaves me," Tony replied, "But trust me, there are a good number of other things I'd rather be doing."
"But…why are you calling?" Loki asked, sounding hopelessly baffled. "The last time I got a call, it was a wrong number…The old woman on the other end of the line believed she was calling her son, and we had a very pleasant conversation about her cats before she remembered her son was apparently from a distant land called 'Texas' and didn't sound like me…"
"I am calling on behalf of the Avengers to invite you to go laser-tagging with us," Tony nearly shouted into the phone, not eager to keep listening to Loki talk about his pathetic social life.
That certainly shut Loki up.
"'Laser-tagging'?" Loki asked finally, his voice noticeably softer. "What is this 'laser-tagging' you speak of?"
"Basically, it's where a bunch of people go and shoot fake guns at each other for fun," Tony replied, "And to be honest, we usually wouldn't call you when we're planning a day of 'fun', but we get a group discount if we have eight people, and nobody else will come with us, and Steve insisted that we get the discount, even though IT'S NOT THE GREAT DEPRESSION ANYMORE, STEVE!"Tony had lowered the phone from his head and turned to shout the last few words over his shoulder to where Steve sat a few feet away on the couch, blushing shamefacedly.
The other end of the line was silent as Loki seemed to consider Tony's proposal.
"That sounds…agreeable," Loki replied, fighting to keep his voice cool and disinterested.
"Great, so would you mind coming down to my mansion around one? I'll have Pepper send you directions. Everyone's staying over here. And Steve insists on carpooling, too, because he seems to think we're still on World War II gas rations or something, and also the fact that Clint and Natasha are the only ones who know where this place is, and tell me that my GPS won't even be able to find it, which I clearly disagree with, but it's no good arguing with these two."
"Yes, of course," Loki replied, seeming as though he were searching for the right words. "Goodbye, Tony Stark."
"Bye," Tony muttered, but Loki had already hung up. He turned around to find the other to find the other six current inhabitants of his mansion staring at him expectantly, even Bruce, whose book lay forgotten on his lap, and Clint, who had at some point appeared back in the seat right next to Tony, making him jump and swear when he first turned around.
"Well, he's coming," Tony announced, to a general reaction of resigned nodding or sighing, except for Peter, who cheered quietly to himself.
"Your brother is one weird dude," Tony added, looking at Thor.
"He's adopted," Thor replied quickly.