Summary: And one time he stopped caring but had fun anyway.
A/N: A little cracky. So take it as fact or fiction in this 'verse.

When Pepper got the call that Tony and Darcy had been arrested for…well, piracy, her mind went on autopilot. She started to make plans for bail, considered what she would tell reporters, even the Peace Corps if they asked her opinion on why Darcy should be allowed in.

Then, she stopped and took a moment to feel the pain in her jaw from clenching her teeth as well as the oncoming headache. For once in her life, Pepper looked at the pile of work she needed to get through and the hundreds of emails that had to be answered, and she decided to not worry about Tony Stark.

The reasoning behind Pepper's thinking was that perhaps some hours sitting in jail would knock a bit of sense into the Starks. At least, enough sense that they would think twice about committing a felony again. This behaviour wasn't all that surprising from Tony but it had been a while since he pulled a stunt like this and Pepper was sure (praying actually but she didn't want to give in and accept the pounding of her heart) that it wasn't a cry for help because he was dying. Darcy, though occasionally rebellious, never actually broke the law and got arrested. The joy at having the two Starks getting along again was soured at the fact that apparently, they now saw stealing yachts from CEOs as a form of bonding. She should have never given in to Cosby shots. Obviously, it was a slippery slope and she shouldn't budge next time.

Hope at them learning a lesson was dashed when Pepper finally got to the police station. She almost refused to believe her eyes. Darcy was flirting and playing poker with a young police officer while Tony took pictures with a detective and signed a few autographs on what vaguely looked like his mugshot. The fact that they were still handcuffed didn't make up for the fact that they were openly having a jolly old time in pirate costumes no less. Pepper didn't care why anyone thought it was okay to have two people who committed a crime walking about the police station but she feared for California state law enforcement. Though, the incoming Chief and Head Detective, fresh from dealing with an even bigger case, didn't look too happy either.

When Tony and Darcy finally sat in the back of the car, Pepper couldn't even find words to describe how utterly angry and frustrated she was. It took a few attempts before something that made sense came out.

"I don't even know where to begin. I get a call about how the both of you are in police custody because you stole a yacht, kidnapped someone and-"

"We can explain," Tony assured.

"I don't think you can."

"We can!" joined Darcy, looking a little ashamed of her actions or at least the ensuing arrest.

"I don't understand why you didn't just ride around in your own boat. You have a yacht of your own Tony! God, even Darcy has a boat. If you really wanted to play pirates, you could have rented or bought a sailboat. But stealing a yacht?" spat Pepper.

"It was a protest against the corruption and bribery rampant in the government! Hammer needed to be taught a lesson and he got what was coming to him. We just helped karma along. Hammer deserves punishment and our government failed us," Darcy claimed and Pepper almost saw the reason behind their combined stupidity. Yes, Pepper was also angry that Hammer had been able to bribe and hire silver-tongued lawyers to drag him out of the mess he had created but she didn't go around breaking the law or starting riots. She talked to people who might be able to build better cases against him.

"It wasn't even his!" Explained Pepper, satisfied with the looks of shock on the Starks' face. "You two stole Robert Pharnell's yacht! Don't know him, do you? He's the CEO of Grab and Go Burgers."

"Dad, it was your job to get the right directions!" Darcy turned to Tony who lifted his hands in defence.

"Hey, that was Hammer's gaudy yacht, last I checked."

"He sold his yacht to Pharnell to help pay lawyer fees," stated Pepper.

"Uh, all in good fun?" Tony offered.

"All in good fun? What about that crewmember you threw into the water. What if he drowned? Or the one you tied up? What if he asphyxiated?"

"We didn't throw him! He jumped off himself," Darcy argued. "And the other guy laughed about everything towards the end when we explained what we were doing."

"Who works on a boat and doesn't know how to swim?" Tony pointed out, getting nods from Darcy. "We worked through all the kinks. Well, I thought we did. And okay, I'll admit, maybe blasting I'm On A Boat was a little over the top," Tony admitted, earning a jab in the ribs from Darcy.

"Hey old man, my playlists are flawless. That includes The Tortuga Tomfoolery Soundtrack. Besides, you wanted to rent a monkey."

"I still don't see anything wrong with that. It would have added to the excitement."

"Chasing after a rabid monkey doesn't add to excitement."

"Shut it, both of you," snapped Pepper, successfully stopping their snippy comments. "Now, I've convinced Mr. Pharnell and his employees to not press any further charges but it means free Stark Tech for his employees and we're promoting him, free of charge for the next three years at any Stark Industries event. Also, he wants us to open a restaurant at the Expo."

"Their milkshakes are underrated," Darcy said before she could stop herself then added a meek sorry. Tony just snickered.

"Do you think the Peace Corps are doing to accept you? With this on your record?" Pepper asked and Darcy looked fully ashamed.

"Hey, I'll just-"

"No Tony," cut Pepper. "You are not going to make this better by just bribing someone. I'll figure this out, like I always do, but you're going to do charity work till I say it's enough. And I mean you're going to be out there, actually being a help and not insulting people."

"But-"

"This conversation is over."

"Ple-"

"I said over!"

The three fell into a tense silence and Pepper started to make mental lists of all the charities she'd love to see Tony attempting to lend a helping hand. Eventually, Tony and Darcy fell back into excited chatter about what they had done and Pepper knew that they probably weren't going to learn much of a lesson from this. Still, despite Tony's lapse of responsibility, she had to concede that at least the two of them had fun.

And Hammer deserved it even if they got the wrong boat.