This couldn't be happening.

It couldn't be happening, yet the stabbing pain in her chest told her it was all too real. She should have known when Santana asked her to meet her in the choir room. Things started to piece themselves together when the first notes of the song bounced off the walls and echoed in her ears.

She didn't want to believe it so she tried to think of what else the song could mean. Why else would Santana be crying? Why else would she be crying? Her heart already knew what her brain was trying to deny.

"You know I will always love you the most."

She let herself fall into the hug, grateful for the smaller girl's arms around her.

"I love you, too."

Her breath hitched and the tears fell freely as her heart ripped down the middle. She knew it was down the middle because Santana felt it just as much as she did. This was hurting Santana, too. She tightened her hold on the smaller girl and buried her face in the dark locks.

She breathed in the scent, the familiarity, the other half of her.

"This isn't what I wanted," she whispered. She thought if she spoke quietly enough, maybe it wouldn't be real.

"This is what's best for now." Santana sighed into her neck, her breath tickling Brittany's skin.

Santana started to pull away, but Brittany trapped her in the embrace, afraid if she let go Santana would never come back. She would lose the best person in her life because she didn't hold on tight enough. It would be her fault because she didn't try hard enough.

She should have stopped Finn from butting into their relationship. She should have won Prom King and made Santana the queen she knew she was. She should have graduated on time. But she didn't try hard enough.

Santana said it wasn't official, that it was only temporary, but Brittany couldn't stop the doubt filling her head.

There were girls in the world so much smarter than her. Girls who would know how to handle their emotions better. Girls who were better with words than she was and would know how to say "I love you" at all the right moments. Girls who weren't her.

"I wish I could delete what I said at Breadstix."

"I'm glad you can't."

Brittany sniffled and finally let Santana pull away, but kept her hands on Santana's legs. It hurt to see the tears falling from Santana's eyes. She wiped some away and let her hand linger on Santana's cheek. She wished she knew what to say to suck the pain out of their hearts, but words were hard and confusing. Instead, she guided Santana's face towards hers and kissed her again.

She filled it with all the promises she couldn't voice. She promised to always love her even while they were apart. Even while they weren't dating. She pledged her heart and soul to the smaller girl.

She signed a promise on Santana's lips like she did when they kissed for the first time.

She could only hope it was enough as they pulled apart for the last time.