(A/N
Oh god, this was so fun-and sad- to write. I really need to thank my buddy Michi for this, one of her stories inspired me to write this and I'm just bursting with feels and shit now TwT
Throughout the whole story, I was listening to Yamai's "Last Song" for inspiration. The lyrics do fit well, so well that I've even included it in the story. I suggest you listen to it (possibly while reading this), it's a really great and emotional song.
I hope that my readers will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! I doubt I'll be writing a sequel for this, since it seems like those kind of stories that work best as a one shot. But if I get enough people asking me to continue- and an idea for how to continue this thing- there might be a part two.
Thank you for reading! As always, please rate and review if you liked it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon or any of its affiliated...whatnots (obviously, or I'd have Gold dying all the time because I'm an angsty bitch /shot))
Till Death Do Us Apart
I can't remember the last time I've cried.
I'd always been a tough kid, with a sullen expression and a personality to match. I was the kind who looked perpetually irritated, perpetually frustrated, and I was fine with that. I was always careful to don my trademark scowl, afraid to show any sign of weakness lest others should exploit me again. I'd learned early that crying was simply a waste of time. Even in moments of unbearable, inexplicable grief, I'd remained stubborn and kept a tight hold on my feelings. Indeed, I was unbreakable.
So what were these tears running down my face?
I desperately try to regain control of myself. No. Tears are weakness. I couldn't cry like some weak asshole. Why was I crying, anyway? I don't understand… wasn't I supposed to be completely immune to crying? I should be, I've had years of practicing.
What could the reason be, then? Did I just lose to a wimp? Dreamt about my father being engulfed in flames to protect me again? Relived my memories with the Masked Man?
Suddenly, it hits me.
The screeching of tires.
The flash of bright lights.
The startling horn.
The memory of someone pushing me out of the way.
Screaming out a person's name, incapable of doing anything.
As I wake up to the shocking reality, I start to gain a sense of my surroundings again. I felt something limp and soft being cradled in my arms. It was heavy and almost lifeless, barely moving. A weak moan came from it. I remained stock still, terrified to look down and face what I knew I'd see.
And yet, somehow I did.
Immediately, a gasp hitched my throat and I wasn't able to fight the tears anymore.
.
.
.
"Hey Silver!" Gold grinned, playfully swatting his best friend's arm. "There's this really awesome new Moomoo milk diner that just opened up, wanna go check it out? I'll treat ya!"
Silver scowled at Gold's prodding, but more out of habit than actual dislike. The truth was Silver had stopped hating Gold ever since they'd first went up against the Masked Man together. It was weird, since he usually had a low tolerance for annoying people- and Gold was probably the most irritating person that he'd ever met in his life. In spite of that, though, he supposed he might even like the guy a little. Not that he'd ever feed Gold's obesely huge ego by telling him that.
"You're going to get even fatter if you keep shoving food down your stomach, idiot," he'd grumbled.
"So it's a yes?" Gold rejoined ecstatically.
Silver snorted. Leave it Gold to interpret his grouchy words that way. Of course he'd say no, since he'd really hate to spend any alone time with a hot headed moron like Gold, plus he'd never liked milk because of its bland colour and disgusting taste, and Gold looked ridiculously cute when he looked all hopeful like that-
"Okay."
What did he just say?
"Yes!" Gold whooped, punching the air enthusiastically. "Let's go, buddy! It's gonna be a blast!" With that, the golden-eyed boy grabbed his friend by the sleeve and practically dragged him away.
In spite of himself, Silver had to crack a reluctant smile. Gold was always like that, excited about food and diners and video games like a little kid. It could be quite-dare he say it? Endearing. Though he usually pretended to get irritated by Gold, he was actually quite fond of the boy-not that he'd ever admit it, of course. Recently, he'd even realised that he might even feel something more for that boy with the ridiculously distracting golden eyes. He'd first got an inkling of it when he started seeing Gold at every street corner, hearing his voice every time someone talked, hanging with a harem of Golds in his dreams, seeing his stupid elmo boxers whenever he looked in his own underclothes drawer-
Anyway. Back to business. It had frightened him, and Silver wasn't one that enjoyed scares. He still wasn't quite sure how to deal with the whole he-might-be-gay-and-giovanni-would-completely-flay-him-alive-if-he-was issue. So he'd decided to sleep on it.
Or at least, up to that point he had. Today was the day that Silver had decided he'd finally quite being tsundere for once and just admit it to Gold. He'd calmly walk into the diner with Gold. Sit down, maybe order a burger or so. Sip slowly at his coke, pick at his side ordering of fries. Then he'd throw the words abruptly at Gold and sit back and watch as his best friend got a coronary.
Yeah, sounded foolproof. Gold would probably end up getting a heart attack. Maybe he should simply postpone his confession again…for the fifth time. It wasn't like he didn't have the courage to confess, it was just that...in spite of his stoic exterior, he was terrified of losing Gold's friendship. Gold was one of the few people, besides Crystal, who had stuck around with him long enough to see what he truly was underneath, and still decide to stand by him. Crystal was nice and all, but he and Gold shared something that couldn't ever be replaced by her.
He'd just tell Gold another time. It'd probably be better anyway than bombing Gold while he was busy cramming his face.
Silver didn't know that that would be the last time he ever saw Gold.
.
.
.
"No!"
The word was an eerie, whispering explosion of sound, sounding so foreign and unlike myself that I hadn't even realised that I'd uttered it. The tears ran freely down my face now, drenching my shirt, but I didn't care. I couldn't think anymore. I couldn't feel anymore.
Gold lay cradled in my arms, hugged against my chest like a baby. He was bleeding badly, all over, in so many places that I couldn't even begin to process what I was seeing. I couldn't do anything but stare helplessly as I watched his lifeblood pour out of him. His arm hung limply at his side, and his face was a mix of pain, agony, suffering - everything I've never wanted to see him feel.
No. No, no, no, no… this couldn't be happening!
"NO!" I screamed, not caring at how uncharacteristically hysterical and guttural my voice sounded. Frantically, I started ripping off shreds of my shirt, desperately trying to blot his horrible, gaping wounds. Hell, I couldn't just sit here! I had to do something, anything, anything-
"Silver. Stop. It's no use."
His words stopped me more effectively than any taser could have. I froze on the spot.
"Wh-what are you saying, Gold? Don't be stupid…" My hands faltered, hovering above the wound I was about to bind.
"It's no use. I...I don't think I can escape this one, buddy," he chuckled weakly, then got seized by a round of coughing. I tried not to react as he hacked up more blood. "Best if you just give up, Sil."
"Give up? What are you talking about? You can't just give up like this, you moron! Think of Crystal, your family, your mother-"
"Can't you see?" Gold sighed, closing his eyes. He seemed even paler than before, and his breath was coming in short gasps. "It's too late. You can't save me. I'm just glad…" he broke off with another painful cough and continued, with a ghost of his cocky grin, "I'm just glad I managed to protect you from that truck."
Tears started brimming in my eyes again. Damn it, why wouldn't they stop? I wasn't supposed to cry because the guy had decided to be an idiot and sacrifice his life for me. I was supposed to be tough. I was supposed to lecture the guy for being idiotic enough to jump in front a truck to save me.
"Why?" I whispered. "Why did you do it, you moron?" My guilt, powered by my despair and grief, welled up into anger and I yelled at him, "You didn't have to act all heroic and save my life! I should have been the one to have been hit by that truck! I don't have a mom and good friends who'll miss me when I'm gone like you do, Gold! Why weren't you more considerate, you moron? Why did you take the hit for me?"
"Easy. Because…well, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time now."
.
.
.
"There's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time now."
Gold looked up inquiringly, his mouth open while the burger hung suspended in the air. When he didn't bite down and instead continued to stare at Silver, the ginger rolled his eyes.
"Oh, just eat it, for Arceus' sake. You can always eat while I tell you what it is, can't you?"
Gold grinned mischievously, taking a large bite of his cheeseburger. As he continued chomping, eyeing Silver curiously, the grey-eyed boy silently cursed himself. He just had to be such a huge blabber mouth and spit out that he had something to tell Gold, didn't he? What happened to his resolve to postpone his confessions? Clearly, Gold's habit of speaking without thinking had rubbed off on him.
Should he or should he not go through with his plan after all? It wasn't like the outcome would be different anyway, no matter when he did it. As far as he knew, Gold had been checking out boobs-or rather, girls in general, for as long as he'd known him. As far as anyone knew, Gold had been perverted and stalking girls since the day he was born. Hell, he was probably straight. The answer would still be no. He'd still be rejected. He'd still get to watch Gold have a coronary.
"Yeeeeess? You gonna tell me what it is, or do we sit here and stare at each other for the rest of the day?" Gold's cocky voice interrupted, and he smirked at the other boy.
Automatically, Silver scowled. "Never mind. Just go back to eating your burger. You'll find out another time, anyway."
"Aww, come on! You can tell me what it is, right? I'm your best buddy!" Gold protested, draping his arm over his friend in a companionable manner. Even though Silver was cussing at him and trying-and failing- to detach himself from the boy's iron grip, he couldn't help flushing beetroot.
"What is it? Tell me," Gold repeated.
.
.
.
"Well, what is it? Tell me, you bastard!" I yelled. "And it better be a damn good reason too, because I'll kill you if it isn-"
Gold's mouth snapped to mine, abruptly cutting off any other words I might have added. My eyes widened in surprise at the same time that his closed shut. As his hands shakily latched on to my neck, I felt him pour everything into that kiss- his passion, his longing, his yearning, his love. I met his kiss and immediately everything intensified as I met him passion for passion, heat for heat, and love for love. As my tears crept down my cheeks and mingled with our lips, I hugged him tighter, desperately wishing I could hold him in my arms forever and never let go. All too soon, he broke away, turning to the side as more red spilled to the floor.
"I love you, Silver," he smiled weakly.
"And I…I don't hate you," I choked back, still holding him tightly in my arms. I had to, for he seemed to be fading right before my eyes.
Gold gave a small smirk, the knowing look in his eyes telling me he understood what I felt and I need say nothing more. "I know."
He took a deep breath then exhaled, as if the tight strings holding him had suddenly loosened and he could relax. I held him tenderly in my arms and gazed at his face, trying to commit everything about him to memory before he disappeared forever.
His cocky grin.
The way his hair always obscured one eye.
The dimple on his cheeks when he smiled.
How he'd floor everyone in a game of pool.
His good heart.
The way he loves his friends.
The way he loves me.
At that point, I broke down, crumpling in on myself as I buried my head in Gold's chest. I couldn't take this. I couldn't take losing the person I loved the most.
I felt Gold's hand shakily reach up to pat my hair. I remember how much he'd enjoyed teasing me about its colour, and how much I'd blush that very same colour afterwards. I may have hated it, but now I'd give anything to be back in that moment and have Gold whole and well again.
"Hey, Sil. Don't cry. I'd hate to have snot all over my shirt during my last moment. How about I sing you a song and cheer you up?"
I alamost laughed in spite of myself. "Sing a song?"
"Yeah. I have a great one in mind. I'm sure you know it, too. This is my last song to you, Sil."
As Gold opened his mouth and started to sing to me, I felt my heart break at the words. I did know the song. It was a Japanese one I was very familiar with thanks to Gold, and he'd sung the English version of it countless times.
Leaving me with one tiny last kiss
You quietly walked out of the room
I can't stop you; neither can I bear it in silence
Unsteadily, I picked up my guitar in a corner of the room
I love you; love you but, ahh ahh
But it doesn't work, it doesn't work, things have fallen apart
Was something missing? That's not where it went wrong
But the small mismatches have killed us
Gold's voice wasn't the strong and confident one I'd heard when he first sang this, but it was still clear and true, and full of emotion. Brokenly, I joined him for the remainder of the song.
I can't hold on to our love, neither do I know of a way to turn back time
Please listen to the voice of my heart as it quivers
I love you; love you but, ahh ahh
But it doesn't work, it doesn't work, things are falling apart
I love you; love you but, ahh ahh
But it doesn't work, it doesn't work, things have fallen apart.
With that, Gold took one last deep breath, then went completely limp in my arms. As the fire of Gold's life went out, I was left crying into his chest, begging him desperately to come back.
.
.
.
Now, I can remember the last time I've cried.
It was the day Gold died.
The day the only guy I'd ever loved saved my life.
I remember him pressing me to tell him what was on my mind.
I remember saying no.
Rushing out of the diner and onto the street.
I remember the blare of the horns, the screech of the tires.
The moment when Gold pushes me out of the way and takes the blow instead.
The tears I shed.
The way we'd kissed.
How my heart had been sliced into a thousand, irreparable pieces.
But that's okay. None of this matters now. I still do, and always will, love Gold.
And now I'm going to join him.
Wait for me, Gold. I'm coming.
I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and squeeze the trigger.