Your reviews are amaaazing. Thank you all for loving this story, I'm really enjoying writing it.

So this is a long one and definitely RATED M for a rape scene. It was horribly difficult to write, and it's probably terrible... But you gotta try things, right?

Once again, I own NOTHING.

She was walking furiously back and forth across her hospital room wearing the clothes that Cragen had brought her; a loose pair of jeans, a black tank, and a grey zipped hoodie.

"I cannot believe you called him," she spat furiously, still walking aimlessly around the room. If she were to stop moving she might explode at him, "What possessed you to do something like that behind my back? You're supposed to be my friend."

She was frantic, almost as if she were talking to herself.

He jumped into gear defensively, "Liv, I called him because I am you friend. He's practically your father," She halted in her path and looked at him angrily.

She knew he was right, he was always right.

"Besides, Olivia, you need to give a statement, and I'm not a cop anymore, I can't take it…"

She folded her arms bitterly, "God, El. You don't think I already know that? I just wish you had asked me first…" She sat gently in the closest chair, "I really, really didn't want him to see me like this, I wanted to at least go home and shower first."

Elliot rose from his seated position and walked towards her as she threw her sight at the floor so she didn't have to look at him. He knew she was angry as he offered his hand to her, praying that she would comply and take it.

When she didn't nudge at his offer he sighed, "Liv, I'm sorry. I called him so you didn't have to. It would be one less thing you had to endure tonight. All we need to do is get that statement and then you can go home and shower. You can shower a thousand times over, but you need to do this tonight. You know how important it is."

She sighed at him, knowing once again that he was right.

"I don't want to…" She said while clenching her teeth, fighting back a flood of tears., "I just want it to be yesterday …" The emotions that she had tried so hard to keep inside started to seep from her body as she began to sob.

He knelt to her level almost immediately and pulled her into him, "Come here," He whispered, embracing her, trying to soother her. She sobbed more violently as he whispered supportive phrases into her ear.

She calmed in his embrace and threw her arms around his neck carefully; ignoring the pain it caused her, and squeezed as tightly as she could.

"You know, this is the second worst day of my life…" She muttered into his shoulder,

He pulled away from her tight embrace, "Second? Liv, what the hell could be worse that being assaulted?" He asked with frustration but trying to speak as gently as he could.

She cleared her throat, hesitant to answer his question. He was brushing hair that had melded with the moist tears on her face.

"Honestly, the day I lost you…" she admitted quietly.

He felt a painful pang of guilt race through his veins at her admission. He pulled away from her and stuttered.

"Liv..I…" He couldn't think of anything to say, let alone the right thing to say.

"Sorry," She rebutted quickly grabbing his hand, "That didn't come out the way I wanted it too, this is by far the worst….I just…I just missed you." He squeezed her hand as she spoke, "So much…"

"I missed you too…leaving without saying goodbye is the most stupid mistake I've ever made in my life. Liv, we will talk about this, I promise, but right now my priority is getting your statement and getting you home, okay?"

He stood up right and headed toward the door, turning to look at her before he left. Her face was completely stricken with worry.

"Liv?" He asked with concern in his voice, she stood up quickly and hurried to him and clutched onto his arms as she started to shake in fear.

"I can't go home… I can't be by myself. What if he comes back?, what if…"

"Liv!" He cuts her off, "You didn't seriously think I would make you go home alone, did you? You're staying with me until we catch this piece of dirt."

She looked up at him, he noticed that her eyes were rimmed with tears just begging to flow. She opened her mouth to respond but didn't get the opportunity to.

"You're not arguing with me on this… I'll be outside, come out when you're ready, okay?"

She nodded and loosened her grip on him, allowing him the means to leave. He kissed tenderly on the forehead and left her alone. Once outside, Cragen was already standing up and walking to him.

"Elliot. I am so sorry. I just assumed you told her I was coming. It's fair to say the look on her faced proved otherwise,"

Elliot shook his head, "I should have told her, it's on me," Elliot ran his hands over his face stressfully and exhaled hoarsely, "Don, I can't do this, she's so broken…I'm not the right person to support her," he was feeling himself fight back the tears that were gathering unwantedly in his eyes, "That bastard hurt Olivia… and I can't do anything."

"Yes you can, and you will. That's an order." Cragen said sternly, "She lost you once and are sure as hell not walking away from her again, not on my watch."

Elliot looked to the ground in shame, he was so selfish when he left her without saying anything. There was no way he could do it again. He was relieved to feel a supporting hand on his shoulder.

"Elliot, she came to you for a reason. You might not think you can help, but she thinks you can, that's all that's important. I called everyone into work…We are going to catch this guy and Olivia will have her family all around her… including you."

Elliot breathed heavily and nodded his head, "You have to let me work on the case."

"That's not gonna happen and you know it, Stabler. You're retired… and even if you weren't, you still couldn't. My ass is going to be on the line enough as it is… our unit is working this case whether my superiors like it or not."

Elliot was about to argue with him when they heard the door behind them open and Olivia came out meekly. She looked Cragen in the eye and gave him the best smile she could, but to no avail it ended up not being much of anything.

"Hey, Don," She whispered.

"Hey sweetheart," he responded stepping forward wrapping his arms timidly around her frame. His body released a breath of relief at the warmth of her body, he was so glad she was okay…to some extent anyway. He kissed her hair lightly, letting her go after their brief embrace.

"Thanks for the clothes,"

Cragen smiled, "Of course. You ready to head to the station?"

She sighed nonchalantly and shrugged, looking to Elliot for support. He nodded his head and reached for her hand.

"Yeah…let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The car ride was nothing more than awkward silence. They reached the precinct and she already hated the thought of what she was going to have to do. It was so hard to hear victims tell her how they were violated and now her friends and family were going to hear how she was violated.

I really don't want to do this.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the halt of the engine and car doors opening. She thanked Elliot quietly as he opened her car door and helped her out. She shivered at the cold New York breeze and pulled her hoodie more snuggly around her.

"We'll make this quick, Liv, I promise," Cragen said softly.

"Yeah," She said bluntly and walked into the precinct.

She remained silent until they reached the squad room but halted abruptly at the door noticing that everyone was there. Nick stood up when he saw her, Amanda ended her phone call quickly, and Fin and Munch started walking towards her.

She panicked. She turned quickly and sprinted toward the elevators.

"Liv?" Elliot asked as he started in her direction. He reached her at the elevator and watched her hit the down button violently. Elliot grabbed her hand with his to stop the unnecessary attack on the button that she was committing. Once feeling his contact, she began to cry. She had tried to be strong the entire night, but she couldn't do it anymore. She turned, threw her back into the wall and slipped down to sit against the wall with her legs pulled tightly to her chest.

She rested her head in her knees and sobbed violently. Elliot made the hard decision to let her cry without so much as a hand to hold. He knew that she needed to let it out, and he wasn't going to stop her this time unless she reached out to him.

After almost five minutes of constant tears and sobbing, she finally reached.

"El…" She cried as he knelt to her and encased her body with his, "I am so mad at myself…how did I let this happen? I'm so scared, El… I wanna go home…"

"You have no reason to be scared, Liv" He cooed as his hand ran threw her hair tentatively; he was sure not to disturb any healing wounds in her scalp.

She lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red from her tears.

"I don't?" She asked.

"Not at all," He said as he pointed back towards to squad room.

She turned to look and saw them. Her entire family in front of her, ready to be the support she needed.

Fin was the first to approach. He reached both of his hands out to her, offering support to stand up straight. She smiled and took his hands and was pulled up effortlessly. Without even a second to thank him, she was in his tight embrace.

"Nobody hurts my girl," He whispered, getting a stifled laugh back in return.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and slipped his arm around her back, turning her to face the others. Elliot had joined them. She approached them one by one giving them small hugs, trying to be the strong Benson they were used to working with.

"How about we get some coffee, huh, Benson?" Amanda asked, knowing that the guys were all eager to discuss their plan of action.

"Coffee sounds amazing,"

Both women walked to get themselves coffee and the guys eagerly huddled in a tight circle.

"We are working this case," Cragen stated, "But we have to be level headed, if we let this get too personal we can cause more trouble."

"Is that such a good idea?" Munch piped in, "I'm pretty sure we all want to get our hands on this guy, I mean, our victim is Olivia for God's sake"

"I know, but I'm not handing this case to anyone else unless we have to. So I'm sure we all want to get things off out chest before we go in there, don't we?"

"I'm gonna kill him," Nick gritted through his teeth.

"Get in line, kid," Elliot responded.

"I don't care which one of you kills him, but I get to watch Liv kick his ass." Fin said bluntly.

"Good," Cragen sighed noticing how this was already affecting his team, "Now let's get in there, but please don't treat her too much like a victim. It's Olivia, you know she will resent you for it."

All the men nodded and walked into the squad room but before Nick could walk he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Elliot was gripping onto him.

"Elliot." He said, holding out his hand.

Nick agreed to the handshake, "Nick. Nick Amaro. I've heard quite a bit about you, Detective."

"Good things I hope…" Elliot responded retracting his hand, expecting Nick to be blunt with him.

"Surprisingly, yes. I don't know you, but I respect the work you did here." Nick replied.

Elliot was relieved, "Thanks for watching her back when I couldn't" He whispered to him.

They both turned to look at Olivia sitting at her desk, playing with the coffee mug in front of her nervously.

"I didn't do a very good job," Nick mumbled to himself.

Both walked into the squad room and it was painfully silent. Nick sat down at what used to be Elliot's desk and Elliot stood awkwardly.

Cragen's office door opened, "Okay, Olivia. You want to come in here and we can get your statement?"

Olivia cleared her throat and stood up, "Look guys," She said as an announcement to everyone, "I don't want you all to have to read this in a report or hear it from Cragen."

She stopped speaking, thinking over what she was about to suggest.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"I want all of you to hear it from me," she blurted out, "Can I give my statement out here?" She directed at Cragen.

All eyes went to Cragen, "Olivia, are you sure? This is a really delicate time…"

"I know, but I really want to do this." She pleaded.

Cragen sighed, "It's your call, Liv."

She sank back into her chair, sighing heavily. Elliot gave her shoulder a slight squeeze, she looked up at him and nodded at him. He knew she really needed to do this. Elliot signaled for everyone to get closer to her. Cragen brought himself and Elliot a chair and everyone was gathered in a circle around her desk, it was almost like an uncomfortable family dinner.

Seeing how delicately they were all looking at her made her nervous. Munch, who was sitting on her right, reached down and held her hand. She gasped at the gesture; she was so lost in her thoughts.

She cleared her throat and looked at everyone once more. She didn't know where to start.

"I uh…" She stuttered, "I was having a rough night, so I went to a bar that's a few blocks from my apartment."

Olivia was putting her coat on to leave the bar.

"Aw, you're leaving already, Olivia?" asked one of the men she was sitting with.

"I can only handle so much football in one night," She winked, "Besides; I have work in the morning. I'll catch you all later, okay?" She started for the door as the group of men turned to wave goodbye to her.

She waved back before waltzing out into the cold breeze, the taste of alcohol still on her tongue. She pulled her jacket tighter around her body as the ice cold air became an issue. Luckily, it didn't take long for her to get to her apartment.

She rustled in her pockets to find her apartment key. She jiggled the key in the lock a couple of times, it always seemed to get stuck lately, and opened the door to her apartment. She closed the door behind and reached for the light switch and flipped it. She was surprised when her lights didn't turn on.

"Hmm, that's weird," she mumbled to herself. She reached around aimlessly in the dark, trying to reach the lamp that was placed in the middle of her living room. She found it and flipped that light on to reveal a masked man standing not two feet away from her.

Olivia let out a small yelp in fear, backing away from the mysterious figure in her home. She instinctively reached for her weapon and cursed when it wasn't there,

"Shit."

She ran for her front door and planned to get the attention of her neighbors.

"Oh I wouldn't do that…" his voice said. She heard a gun cock behind her and she stood with her back to him throwing her hands above her head in shock.

To her surprise, he laughed when she did.

"That was easier than I thought… aren't you tougher than that Detective?"

He started edging closer and closer to her, she couldn't see him but she could feel his weight shift through the floorboards. Her breathing quickened as she felt the barrel of his weapon trail lightly up the back of her shirt, reaching her hair and he pushed it more firmly onto her scalp.

"You have a gun to my head," she said quietly with fear in her voice, "Exactly how tough were you expecting me to be?"

She had angered him, he lifted the weapon up and smacked her violently over the head with his handle of the gun.

She felt an immense pang of pain run through her head as she reached up grasping the tender area. She winced when she realized he had hit her so hard to cause her to bleed. This guy wasn't playing around.

With no warning, he spun her around and pushed her aggressively into her front door. He brought one forearm up to her neck and applied pressure; enough to keep her in one place, but not enough to make her struggle for breath. Her eyes widened in horror as she watched him put his gun away and pull out a long blade. He started tracing the tip of the blade along her jawline when she closed her eyes tightly.

"You know, I've learned I get much more control with this little wonder," He smirked, "The ladies are much more afraid of being cut up than shot…weird, huh?" He asked when he noticed her eyes were still closed.

"Open your eyes, bitch," He said firmly and he pressed the blade a little harder to her face. Her eyes shot open, praying that he would pull the knife away.

When her eyes opened a tear fell, "What do you want?" She cried.

The man smiled, happy with the power he was possessing. He loosened the grip from around her neck and slipped his arm behind her back, around her waist and pulled her close to him. Her eyes widened once more as he reached up to the mask around his neck and pulled it off.

She gasped at the sight of him, not because he was horrendous or that she recognized him, but more at how normal he looked. He was just your average looking guy, maybe even slightly attractive.

He leaned in close to her hair and breathed in through his nose, smelling her. He reached to the wound on her head, "Sorry about that," she gritted her teeth at his touch, "I just don't do very well with sarcasm…especially from a woman."

He shifted his weight away from her slightly.

"I bet you're excited for what I have planned, Olivia. You're going to love it." He said excitedly. He pulled her over to her couch and signaled for her to sit down. She really didn't want to give him anymore control so she refused. His very short temper led to a lightning bolt of anger shaking through his body as he took as swing at Olivia's face. She screamed in pain as she clutched her face. She felt as if he had shattered her cheek bone.

"Are you going to sit now?" He asked more demandingly.

Olivia didn't hear him speak a second time as the pain from his punch was still rattling through her body.

When she didn't respond again, he completely lost it.

"Fine, we will do this my way. I tried to make this easy… but it's clear I'm going to have to take what I want." He spat furiously.

He grabbed her body and pulled her into him and smashed his lips onto hers. She soured at his touch and tried her hardest hit him away. He handled the hitting but when she scratched his face he went into a violent frenzy as he lost any ounce of patience he may have had. He pushed her violently, sending her flying over her coffee table, taking all the items off it and landing harshly on top of them.

She hissed in pain as she pieces of a broken vase sliced through her shirt and she felt the corner of a photo frame digging into her back. She reached under her and pulled out the frame. She brought the picture to her face and let out a small sob. It was the last picture she had ever taken with Elliot. They both looked so happy.

In her thoughts of Elliot, she almost forgot about the violent intruder in her home until he spoke. He had come around to her and kneeled next to her cut up body, hitting the frame out of her hand.

"Does my little Olivia miss her precious Elliot?" He asked in a patronizing tone, "He left you remember, with nothing as much as a phonecall…"

She really got scared, "How do you know that?" She asked as she tried to stand up, he kicked her harshly in the ribs making her efforts mean nothing. She crashed down into the glass below her and let out a scream in pain.

"Who are you!?" She yelled through a sob.

"Who me?" He asked, "I'm your worst nightmare, darlin'"

He roughed a fist into her hair and pulled her upright by her hair only. She was in so much pain that she opened her more to yell but nothing came out. Once standing he pushed her onto the couch and quickly lay on top of her, pushing all this weight onto her.

He lifted his upper body slightly and began to playfully tickle her with the tip of the blade that he was holding so comfortably. She shivered under him in terror as he laughed at her reactions.

"You know, Olivia," He whispered as he began cutting buttons one by one off her purple shirt, "You are very beautiful…way too beautiful to be in law enforcement."

He had cut her shirt and she was lying below him, exposed in a black bra.

"You don't have to do this," She whimpered, tears starting to well in her eyes, "Please don't do this…." She begged.

Once again, he laughed, "Aw poor Olivia, not wanting to end up like Mommy Benson…"

She stifled out a sob at the mention of her mother. He was now tracing his knife up her abdomen, this time harder, even drawing blood in some places. She winced in pain but stayed completely still.

"I am really surprised at how much you haven't fought me…That's the only reason I brought the gun," He pulled his knife away from her skin, "You're a lot easier than I could have imagined."

He reached down to the button of her jeans and popped it open. That action really brought everything into perspective. This was really going to happen and she was doing nothing about it. In a failing attempt she became hysterical, crying and fighting him, hoping that he would stop.

"Please…" She cried, she was pushing his body with all her might, trying to free herself from his weight.

"I don't think so." He grunted, pushing back onto her harshly. He had his knife at her throat, "Now is Olivia going to behave? Because I could end you in a second…" He threatened, his eyes had changed. They weren't normal anymore; she stared into pure evil when she looked into his eyes.

"Are you going to behave?" He asked more sternly, pushing his knife harder onto her neck. She nodded her head erratically, "Good." He smirked as he pulled her shoes off and began to shuffle her jeans off of her legs. She cried more violently now, she couldn't help but think she was being a coward, that she should try harder to escape him. His dry hands were rubbing up her legs as she wept. She considered making a run for it, but was aware of the weapons he had. She kept telling herself that her priority was surviving. All she had to do was survive.

Her thoughts had allowed her to escape her attack for a few moments but was brought back by the sound of his zipper being pulled down. Realizing she was now only in her underwear and her ripped shirt, she became still with fear. He brought the knife to her panties and sliced them off of her body.

She watched as he licked his lips and reached into his pants. It was then that she clenched her eyes closed tightly.

"No,no,no,no,no…" She whispered as he settled between her legs.

Keeping her eyes closed she hit him a couple of times trying to prevent what he was about to do, but she failed.

He grabbed her wrists and held then tightly above her head and whispered into her ear, "You are going to love this…"

He forced himself into her and she howled in pain. There were no words to describe the pain, fear or shame she was feeling. As he was forcing himself in and out of her violently, grunted in pleasure, she was sobbing, wincing in pain, but felt numb at the same time. Her eyes were still shut as she felt his teeth clamp down hard on the skin of her neck.

She hissed in pain, "Please stop…" She cried. He laughed at her request and leant into her ear, still keeping up with his agonizing pace in and out of her body.

"Tell me you love it," he demanded of her.

She shook her head frantically, with tears still streaming from her eyes. He scoffed and released her wrists, but she didn't have time to fight him with them because he now had the gun from his pants at her temple.

"Tell me. Now." He said more harshly.

She choked in a sob and complied, not that she had much of a choice.

"I love it," she said bluntly with no emotion, but luckily it was enough to satisfy him. At her words he began to feel more pleasure and began pushing into her faster. His mouth was now at her neck once more and she could feel his breathing quickening against her skin. His moaning became louder as he released himself inside her.

She scoffed in disgust when she felt him let go inside of her body and tried to squirm away. After he had come down from his high, he pulled out of Olivia and she flinched in pain.

He nonchalantly zipped his pants and smiled at her.

"You're better than I ever imagined."

Her eyes were still closed, she hadn't looked at him once. She was still lying on the couch, trembling in fear. He walked over and looked down at her and swung his fist into her ribs.

"Look at me," He said harshly.

She opened her eyes quickly, hoping that he would leave if she did. Once they were open, he knelt down and got very close to her face.

"You're my favorite," He whispered, "I'll definitely be back for seconds…"

Her body stiffened at his voice. She thought she could feel anymore fear than she already did, and boy was she wrong!

He pressed his lips onto hers one last time before walking to the door to leave.

"Say hi to Mr. Stabler for me, won't you?" He laughed as he left.

She jumped at the sound of the door slamming closed and lay on her couch for what felt like an hour. She didn't move. She didn't try, she didn't even know if she could.

She was in a state of disbelief. She couldn't believe she had just let that happen to herself. She was angry at her lack of fight. What happened to Detective Benson that would have fought so much harder than that?

Her mind replayed the events that had just occurred in her home and needed to free herself from the memories. She sat up through her pain. Her jeans were close enough to reach and she struggled to get them on, but did. The buttons on her shirt were no longer functional, so she improvised and tied the bottom of it closed, making sure to cover as much as she could.

She painfully squeezed into her jacket and slowly opened her door. She peered through the peephole before completely opening it. She sighed when there wasn't a soul in her hall and sprinted down the stairs, not bothering to lock her apartment. Once downstairs she ran into the street and slipped quickly into a cab that was luckily sitting already outside her apartment building.

"Queens…go." She said.

"…and then I ended up at Elliot's" She finished. Her face was stained with tears, "I went to the hospital and came here…"

Cragen pushed the stop button of the tape recorder and wiped away some stray tears threatening to fall from his eyes and looked at the members of his squad.

Elliot had his heads in his hands. Munch was hugging Olivia tightly, whispering into her ear. Amanda's eyes were dripping with tears while Fun rubbed her back in support and Nick was emotionless; he stared blankly ahead. Cragen watched the people he loved suffer before his eyes.

He rose from his chair and cleared his throat slightly, gaining the attention of those he could.

"This case is our priority, and we start working it now. Fin, Amanda, I want you to track down this cab driver. It's unlikely, but he may have seen something. Munch, Nick, go to Olivia's. It's our crime scene and we need all the evidence we can get. I'll call and get some people out there to help you."

All four nodded and rose from their chairs slowly, grabbing their badges and weapons and leaving to do their instructed tasks, making sure to say something to Olivia on the way out.

Once it was just the three of them left in the squad room, Cragen walked to Olivia and helped her out of her chair. Elliot was still processing her story with his head buried deep in his hands.

Cragen hugged Olivia tightly and she sobbed into him softly.

"I'm so sorry, Liv…" He whispered.

As they embraced, Elliot looked up and met Cragen's eyes. Still holding Olivia he told him, "Take her to your place and let her rest."

Elliot stood up, "Of course, Captain."

Cragen loosened their embrace and the pulled apart. He smiled at her, "Get some sleep and come back tomorrow and we can go through some more details, ok? You think you could describe this guy to a sketch artist?"

She wiped her falling tears, "Probably," She sniffled, "but there really wasn't anything special about him… he looked like the average guy…"

She started playing with the strings of her sweater, "I just want to sleep…"

"Okay, then let's get out of here," Elliot said.

As they were leaving, Cragen pulled Elliot back quickly and whispered in his ear, "This was personal, Elliot… he knew things about her only we know. Keep her talking."

Elliot nodded and rushed back to Olivia's side. He wrapped his arm around her waist and walked towards the elevator.

"Oh, and Elliot, I changed my mind" Cragen yelled from behind them, "You are on this case… Welcome back Detective."

Well, I hope you all still like this story after my attempts! Please review and if you're all still liking it, I'll have a new chapter up soon :)

Thanks!