Me no own Phineas and Ferb

Oh, dear God.

What had he done?

It was intended to be just another -inator. He would announce his plans and back story, Perry the platypus would escape, the machine would be destroyed, and another day's work would be finished. It didn't quite turn out as planned. Instead, the machine had malfunctioned. He knew the wiring was faulty. He knee there were risks. But he ignored it. And so when the machine went crazy, Doofenshmirtz had no idea what to do. It had been barreling towards him when the agent suddenly knocked him out of the way and took the blow.

The agonized cry the platypus had made still haunted him.

When he had seen Perry bloodied and broken on the floor, he knew immediately it was all his fault. In a flash, Doof had carried the platypus into his truck and driven to the nearest vet, breaking about twenty traffic laws in the process. He didn't care. All that mattered was that the platypus was saved. After several torturous hours of waiting outside the surgery room, the vet had finally come out and told him the news. Perry would survive. He had several fractured bones and bruising, but he would survive. And so the scientist took Perry back home, tucked him into bed and…

Now what? It was clear that the platypus wouldn't be going anywhere. He had never really thought of Perry's life outside of their daily battles. More or less, he'd assumed Perry worked in the OWCA offices like the other agents. But somehow that didn't seem right. He couldn't picture Perry sitting at a desk all day, just chatting with his coworkers over a cup of coffee. Perry wasn't a talker. Aside from the occasional irritated chatter, Doofenshmirtz made the majority of the communication between them. No, Perry was a listener, not a talker.

And so Doofenshmirtz found himself searching. He found the platypus's wallet stored in his hat, but only some cash and an OWCA ID and bank card were found. With a sigh, the scientist slipped the wallet back in its place. He gazed forlornly at the sleeping platypus, feeling a pang of guilt at the bandages wrapped around his back and legs. He absentmindedly ran a hand through Perry's fur.

Suddenly his fingers caught on something. Blinking, Doof gripped the object and lifted it. A leather strap came uncovered from the blue fur. Hopeful now, he carefully removed the strap from around Perry's neck. It was what appeared to be a collar, with a tag shaped like a platypus foot attached. He carefully opened the tag, revealing three pictures. One was of a young platypus. At first Doof was confused, but then he noticed the subtle similarities between the two. The same shade of blue fur, the same tangerine beak. Gulping, Doofenshmirtz realized he was looking at a picture of baby Perry. Beside the picture were photos of two boys, one with a red hair as bright as his grin, and one with green hair and a small smile. Beneath their pictures were the names Phineas and Ferb.

Perry the platypus had a family. Swallowing thickly, he turned the tag over.

Perry
If found, please return to 2308 Maple drive

Phineas was growing worried. It was evening, almost night. And Perry still wasn't home. He remembered the last time the platypus disappeared. He and the others had written and sung a song to bring the monotreme home, and it had worked. but it was different this time. Perry was always back by the end of the day. What of something had happened to him?

He let out a long sigh, closing his eyes. Ferb had gone upstairs to check- again- if the platypus was there. And optimistic as he was, Phineas didn't think they would be so lucky. They had tried everything, singing, searching,fliers. They would have made a tracker, but the house had been cleaned earlier that day and not a single hair was to be found.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Phineas reluctantly got off his chair and walked into the living room. He opened the door, where a tall man with a lab coat was standing. The redhead opened his mouth to speak when his sapphire eyes fell upon a certain blue-furred platypus. He gasped. "Perry!"

Doof winced at the panic in the boy's voice. He was clearly terrified for his… pet? Companion? It was hard to tell just what relationship Perry held with the boys, but they clearly cared about each other. Phineas turned his head and shouted up the stairs. "Ferb!" He yelled. "Ferb!"

There was a thudding on the stairs as another boy came into view. It was the green haired one- Ferb. The boy's eyes widened as he choked out, "Perry?" His voice was quiet and held a British accent. Both boys huddled around the platypus, stroking his back and murmuring softly.

Phineas gulped. "Perry?" He asked softly. "Are you alright?" The platypus stirred and peeked open one eye. He let out a chatter, and Doof was shocked to hear it was not the usual angry growl. Rather, it was soft and reassuring. The boys simultaneously let out relieved breaths. "Thank goodness," the red haired one said. then he glanced back up at Doofenshmirtz to ask, "What happened to him?"

The scientist gulped. "I- he…" He found it hard to speak. Finally he sighed and said, "My name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz and… It's my fault Perry the platypus is thistle way. I-I… I accidentally hit him with my car. I took him to the vet and then I found his collar and… I'm sorry." He couldn't bring himself to tell the truth.

The brothers glanced at each other, then at him. And Doofenshmirtz was shocked by the look in their eyes. There was no anger. No resentment. These boys were completely uncorrupted, untouched by the evils of the world. "Thank you," Phineas breathed. "Thank you so much for saving him." He buried his face in the platypus's fur, shoulders trembling. Heinz hesitated before awkwardly patting him on the back. The moment his hand made contact, Phineas glanced up at him with teary eyes.

"Ah, s-sorry," he stammered, looking a bit embarrassed as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Why don't you come inside?"

Doofenshmirtz hesitated. Then he nodded and walked into the house. The boys lead him to the living room and sat down. For several moments, they sat in silence. Though it wasn't awkward. Rather, they seemed quite comfortable to just sit and think. Phineas and Ferb were still stroking the platypus's fur. After a moment, he realized the redhead's lips were moving.

"Perry,

"You know you are a boy's best friend

"You're more than just a passing trend

"You're like a treat from the candy store..."

Doof could see Perry visibly relaxing in the boy's lap. The softest of smiles was on his bill, going unnoticed by the boys.

He trailed off after a moment. As though realizing he was being watched, Phineas glanced up. "It's a song we wrote," he said suddenly. Then he gestured to his brother. "Ferb and I. Perry disappeared once last month and he likes music... So we wrote him a song. I think he likes it."

Doofenshmirtz only nodded. He was still guilty with the knowledge that this was his fault. And he shouldn't even be here. This was Perry's family, not his. He was intruding on the peaceful life they no doubt held here. Crossing the thin line of trust that had been built between villain and agent. They did not bother each other outside of work. It was like a taboo. Admittedly, they had helped each other repeatedly while off the clock, but that was only briefly and only between them. No others were involved. He remembered all the times Perry had come to him. To borrow Norm. To build the Dynamic-inator. Was it possible those events had been related to his family?

"Sir?" It was Phineas again.

"Yes?"

"...Why is Perry wearing a hat?"

The platypus stiffened somewhat. Doofenshmirtz blinked at him before nervously replying, "Do you boys know where Perry the platypus disappears to each day?" Phineas shook his head, and Perry's eyes flashed open. He stared at the scientist in horror. He didn't make a sound, but the pleading was clear in his eyes. Don't, they said. Don't tell them. Again, Doof was conflicted. This was his chance. To finally gain the upper hand over Perry the Platypus. It was clear he loved his family, and was terrified for them to know of his agent status. If he told, something bad would happen, and Perry would be out of the game. The perfect chance. Just one sentence. Just a few seconds, and he would win.

"I gave it to him." The words left his mouth before he could stop him. Perry stared at him in shock, but he avoided the monotreme's gaze. "See, he visits me everyday. I don't have a lot of friends and he kind of made up for that... He's an excellent listener, you know." Phineas and Ferb smiled, nodding. Doofenshmirtz smiled, too as he added, "So I gave him the hat. Whenever he comes over, I put it on him. I'm not sure why, but he seems to like it."

Perry blinked at the scientist. Then he smiled and settled down once more. And for a while, they just chatted. About platypusses. About inventing. When Doofenshmirtz said he was an inventor, Phineas' eyes lit up and the boy began speaking of their greatest inventions. A race car, an animal translator (though Perry didn't say anything). He seemed most proud of their roller coaster in the beginning of summer. And again, Doofenshmirtz found himself liking the boys. Ferb didn't say anything, though he occasionally tapped his brother on the shoulder to remind him of something. Until finally it was late and Doof decided he had overstayed his welcome.

"Thank you again, sir," Phineas said, joined quietly by Ferb.

Doofenshmirtz grinned. "Be careful with Perry the platypus," he warned. "He can be quite feisty when he wants to."

Phineas gave him a curious look. "But he's a platypus," he said dubiously. "They don't do much."

Before Doof could say anything, Ferb added a comment of his own. "Well, he did follow us to Africa. Who knows what mysteries Perry holds?"

As Doofenshmirtz got into his truck and drove away, he couldn't help but think what a shame it was he could never see those boys again. But still, it was good to know Perry was happy at home.

Perhaps Doof was too serious in this. -shrug- Either way, hope you guys like it.

Oh, one more thing. I'm writing a Detective Conan/P&F crossover. I'm hoping to get some input on the idea, so if you DC fans wouldn't mind checking it out... Why yes, I am using this as an opportunity to advertise my other stories.