Idiots everywhere.

A/N: Well, this just means that I go scouting wherever I go.

Disclaimer: The ugly thing is the only one I own here.

**Written as a one-shot on purpose, just to be rid of the itching feels.

A sharpened dagger was pointed to his throat. "You sire, are in the way of the only thing that might save Middle Earth."

"That's why I'm obliged to keep it off hands like yours."

A smooth smirk met his stern look. "I'm not the villain here."

"Of course you aren't, not yet."

She stared at him, blinked once, and laughed drily, "No one is really, until they've seen shimmering gold, sterling silver, sun-kissed bronze."

"Evil isn't about wealth."

She sheathed her dagger and starts to move towards him, from one end of the room to the other, not sparring a glance to the sleeping Hobbits.

"What is it about then? Power? Wealth equates to power."

"More than just power, it's domination."

She stands on the balls of her feet, height still small compared to his. "One ring to rule them all, they say."

He stares. She continues, "Forged in the fires of Mount Doom, they say."

She chuckles and cocks her head to the side, staring at Frodo's serene form; "And it's with a Hobbit. I wouldn't be surprised if it was with a human, if it was with me, in my pocket as I ride through the dusk."

"Sauron sent you, didn't he?"

She turns back to him, looking amused, "Would he have time for petty thieves like me? Of course he wouldn't! But I've yet to bargain with him."

He worries for the ring, not her. "You'd die before reaching him."

"Ah yes, I take it you'd kill me for the ring"

He scoffs, "Petty thief, you'd do anything for money, wouldn't you?"

"If you're able to pay, then," She nods. "Yes, I'd do anything."

"And I thought that even a thief would have morals."

"We go by our own set of virtues and vices."

"That doesn't make you any higher than the code of law."

"Who are you to talk about laws, ranger? You're just another passer-by who's yet to make a choice in this war. I've already chosen whose side I will fight for and that's the side that would undoubtedly win in the end—but we're all free to choose."

He sighs, feeling disappointed. "You've sided with death."

She stands firm. "No, I've sided with survival. This is a war that chooses who lives and who dies—"

He cuts her off. "Wars don't choose, people do."

She brushes his remark aside, her voice growing loud. "And people made this war, so people must end it. But not all of us can fight on the front lines or save our arses as the archers in the back, some of us have to survive by playing tricks upon ourselves and on others. Survival doesn't ask if you want to or not. It's already by instinct that yes, we want to survive and we will do anything for it."

His voice was a whisper, "Fight with us, for the good of what's left of the world."

Her head sinks down and she stares at the dark, wooden floor. "There's nothing left to fight for."

"There's the ring."

She's silent for a moment, breathing heavily through her nose. "Which I have yet to take."

"Then why haven't you?"

She stares up at him, looking defiant yet defeated, "You've distracted me long enough with your tempting words, ranger."

"It isn't temptation if it's something that has to be done."

"It's temptation when it's something that you want done, but I don't."

He smiles sadly.

She looks past him and to the opened window, seeing the dark violet sky of the nearing dawn, "The morning has come and this has proven to be useless, I'll take the ring when your back is turned and your eyes shut."

She stalks through the room and exits through the unlocked door.

He thinks her as quite interesting, probably insane, something like an idiot.

He exhales.

And he never so much as asked for her name.

"You are as bad a stalker as you are a thief." He says aloud one night.

"Woodlands are difficult terrain, especially during the night." She comes from above him, landing on her hands and knees. "Several creatures nest in the trees."

"I take it you plan to acquire the ring now?"

"Of course, why else would I have suffered to have feathers in my hair and scratches on my arms?"

"Fight with us."

"Survivors fight for themselves."

"Then just try to take the ring," He slumps on the tree stump, "Try it, now, take the ring and be on your way."

She is taken aback by his words. She blinks, becoming confused, but breathes a long breath and smiles. "Now that wasn't so difficult now was it? I'll even be ridding you and your Hobbits of Sauron's Ringwraiths, isn't that a fine deal?" She says as she approaches Frodo's resting form.

His face turns sour and his hand grips the handle of his sword. "To bring about the end of the world, it sounds pleasant."

"The world was bound to be chained anyway."

He sees the ring between her thumb and index finger, and her intent look on it.

"It's a really cheap-looking thing, isn't it? I've always thought it was littered with crystals and overflowing with essences." She sounds disappointed, "I guess Sauron has no eye for decoration."

She feels the edge of a blade brush against her back.

"Now, isn't that unfair?" She slowly turns around, feigning disappointment, "And you say I'm the one without morals."

"I said for you to try and take the ring."

"I did and I have. Look." She smirks and raises the ring. "I took the ring."

"Don't test me, thief."

"Test you, ranger? I've the perfect one for it." She gives him a wolfish grin and darts to her side, fleeting away in the woods.

He curses himself for letting his guard down.

She might be fast on her legs, but that would be on roads, forest terrain is tricky and unrelenting. She almost trips over roots, rocks, mushrooms, and generally uneven terrain.

She finally falls after an untimed jump over a large, exposed root. She crawls, feeling the mud on body. Before she is up, he steps a foot on her leg, sending her down once more.

"The terrain betrayed me." She reasoned.

"Don't run on things you aren't familiar with."

"You mean, don't run from things you aren't afraid of?"

The tip of his blade is pointed at her neck, "Don't run, just that."

"If you've come to take back the ring, feel free to search me for it."

He scowls, pressing the blade to her skin. He has no time for her foolishness.

"Aye, aye, let off me then."

And he does. She stands up and brushes twigs, leaves and dirt from her clothing. He stares at her unamusedly.

She raises a brow. "Undressing me with your eyes, ranger?"

He says monotonously, "The ring."

She says casually, calmly. "It isn't with me."

His eyes bulge out from their sockets in shock and rage, "What! You! Where is it?"

She laughs obnoxiously, slipping the supposed ring onto her finger. "See?" She sounds calm, amused even, "I haven't taken anything, ranger." She continues to laugh, "You should have seen your face when you heard that. Completely hilarious."

He flushes with anger and embarrassment, "What are you playing at? Don't treat this too lightly!"

"I'm not." She states, "I told you I'd test you, ranger, and I did. It seems that you'd go for the ring no matter what."

"Don't play around like this! If—"

She's just so amused by this. "What? If the Hobbit suddenly gets killed while you've been chasing me? That the wraiths are on their way to Sauron right now? Knock on wood, ranger."

His sword cuts her arm when he whips away from her, dashing towards the—hopefully alive—sleeping Hobbits.

"Knock on wood." She repeats as she taps her knuckles on the dark of a tree.

If he did scream in mad anger and frustration, or in deep agony and self-hatred, she would have heard it by now.

He did though, deep inside, and vowed to never let initial judgment slide past him again.

"Where are you going now, ranger?" She came to him another night.

"On our way to Rivendell to keep the ring safe, thief."

She strides in front of him, "I just noticed ranger, two encounters we've had and you never so much as told me your name…"

He huffs, "Ladies first."

"Aren't you going to ask me if I'll take the ring?" She shifts the topic.

"I don't think it's the ring you're after."

She looks at him in partial disbelief and curiosity, "What makes you say that?"

There is a silence before he tells her, "Strider."

"What? I didn't quite get—"

"Name's Strider."

She nods in acknowledgement, "Tazgul Orevi." She seems comfortable enough to say her full name, seeming that it's her real one, "Now what makes you say that I'm not after the ring? There isn't anything with worth as much at that."

"If your words are true then you would've taken the ring from him," He motions an open had to a sleeping Frodo, "right now."

"I've told you once enough, Strider." She tests his name, "You are quite the excellent distraction. I would attest to that fact." It sounds a compliment.

"Of course you would, and I'm not even trying." He smirks, "But something tells me you've yet to find out why you're here."

She cocks a high brow and places her palm on her boxy hip, "Oh, pray tell, what do you think I'm here for?"

He says casually, "You're following me, us, because you know you won't last long, that you won't survive."

She bites her lips into a thin line; he's caught her in her tracks, her plans. There is a bout of silence before she speaks in a grin, "Of course, ranger Strider, people would do anything just to survive. Even—" She unsheathes a dagger and rushes to him, "—kill."

She is quick and agile on her feet this time, and even quicker to wound his arm. It's a shallow gash compared to what he did to her. He grunts as she pulls back and moves away.

"Now we're even."

He stares at her well-amused face, "What!"

She raises her right arm and tears away her sleeve, revealing a bandaged portion of her upper left arm, "Here ranger, see this? It's a pretty long cut that you've caused."

"You tricked me, the ring might have been lost, the Hobbits might've been killed."

She shrugs, sliding back her sleeve, "It's not my problem. You should have known better judgment, ranger Strider."

He hisses. "Yes. I should have just killed you then."

"Then call yourself a murderer. Of course I haven't done anything wrong, if you know, I'm doing what is best."

"Oppression isn't what's best for the world."

"No, but keeping the ring moving from Sauron's grasp is."

He almost scoffs at her statement. "Now your intention's changed, thief, why so?" First for wealth, then for survival, and now this?"

She nods, and suggests, "A change of heart."

"Complete idiocy."

"After a considerable amount of time to think, I've decided to agree to your initial proposal."

"I don't recall—"

"To fight for the good of all."

He rolls his eyes. "Your lack of sincerity is very convincing."

She blinks once. "You weren't really that convincing the first time, you sounded as if you're forced to protect them. I doubt that you decided to play as the protector."

"I couldn't let the world down."

"You never held the world in the first place."

"I might, eventually."

She scoffs, "You're one to boast, it sounds as if you're an heir to the throne." She walks away, "So you're off to Rivendell? Don't expect me not to come."

But he is a king, and he is expecting her to.

He sighs. "You'd do anything to survive, wouldn't you?"

"But not to follow around a band of Hobbits with a ranger. I prefer moving alone."

He has already classified her as a hypocrite, an idiot.

"Though I'll travel in the same direction as you will, either far behind you in the road, or far above you in the trees."

"Why are you saying these things to me?"

"For you to know and not kill me when you encounter bandits, wolves, mercenaries, and the wraiths themselves."

"I should've kill you already."

"You've cut my arm badly enough. I can't steal from travelling merchants that fast anymore."

He thinks to completely cut her arm off, but replies begrudgingly "Then I won't, not yet."

She yawns before continuing to walk away, waving a hand at him, "Sleep ranger, for I've lost interest in you and the ring as of now."

He doesn't hear from her when he decides to.

A/N: This isn't really a story, just a drabble sort of thing; it's just a collection of scenes—there isn't even a convincing ending. I suck, yes, I know. Review? Heck, I might even make a decent story from this. So please, review. Tell me it's good, or tell me it's bad, or tell me that I need to improve—please, I need you.

R.e.v.i.e.w.