How to be a Shinigami for Dummies

By: Jaylonni Love

Tip #3 – Have a bad ass Zanpakutō

Byakuya arrived to see his lieutenant twitching on the ground of the stage, the new recruits staring up at him. His brow rose, mouth set in a firm frown, "Renji... what are you doing?"

The redhead in question glanced up from his temporarily stunned pose at the captain before quickly standing and dusting himself off, "Taicho, sorry. Rukia was just giving a Kidō lesson to the new recruits or so I thought until she turned and used Sōkatsui on me and well, that's why I was on the ground when you showed up."

He stood, dusting himself off before turning to look at the crowd again.

"Recruits, meet our captain," Renji said gesturing to the stoic raven haired man. "This is Captain Kuchiki, the twenty-eighth Head of the notorious Kuchiki clan. He's here to help us with our final demonstration of the day. Step three to being the best Shinigami you can possibly be is to have a totally bad ass Zanpakutō. Take mine for example."

He reached for the hilt of his katana, removing it from the sheath to show everyone.

"This is Zabimaru in his sealed state," Renji explained. "But when I call out his name like this..." he paused a moment before placing the palm of his hand on the blade and carefully running it across, "Roar, Zabimaru!"

The sword then transformed, causing the crowd to "ooh" and "aah".

"I would show you my bankai," Renji boasted. "But I don't think we have enough time for that."

He went to sheath his sword again after returning it to his sealed from before turning to Byakuya.

"Captain Kuchiki's Zanpakutō is different from my own," Renji explained gesturing to the quiet man's sword that rested at his hip. "His Senbonzakura is one of the most well known because of the deadly beauty it exudes. Captain, would you be willing to give a demonstration of how your Zanpakutō works?"

"...no," Byakuya said evenly.

"Wha-? Why?" Renji said, stunned.

"I do not remember authorizing this meeting, Renji," Byakuya said as he turned to walk away. "And it is a waste of time. I came to find you because you have paperwork that needs to be done. Wrap it up."

"Uh... yeah, right," Renji said before turning back to the crowd, "Well there you go, the three steps to being the best shinigami you can possibly be. Hopefully you all took notes, now I have to go."

He turned, running off after his captain leaving the recruits sitting there staring at one another.

"Did anyone understand that?" one said irking a brow.

"Not one bit," another answered.

"Nope," said one.

"It was pointless," another put in.

"Let's get out of here," a male said.

"I agree," everyone said in unison before standing up and leaving.

And that completes my crack.