A/N: Thanks for clicking and I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Edit (6 January 2013): Fixed some grammar and spelling faults.

Leave It To Brocko

Chapter 1

The fresh smell of alcohol and wax filled the room as I opened my set of cleaning stuff. I fished an old and overused cloth out of the bag, then grabbed my Pokéballs to clean them. They really could use a good cleaning – full of scratches, stains and greasy fingerprints. And that while I hardly used them – I could only imagine how Ash's would look like. I sighed, shook my head and put some alcohol on the cloth. Time to begin with the time-consuming job of polishing my Pokéballs- NOT LIKE THAT, YOU PERVERTS!

Where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to begin with erm… doing that, when I heard a soft knock. At first I wasn't sure I heard it right since nobody ever knocks on my door; my brothers and sisters have no sense of privacy, Misty just walks in and Ash usually knocks down the door.

Maybe it's Nurse Joy…

I quickly put away my cleaning stuff, ran a hand through my spiky hair and grabbed a magazine to pretend I had been busy, before I called, "Come in!"

"Oh Brock!" Nurse Joy called, "We need your help desperately, no one but you can help us. You're such a fantastic Breeder and Pokémon Doctor, who also happens to be a great cook, please, you got to help us!"

I was ready to exclaim, in a very cool way, that I would do anything for the Pokémon… and for her of course. It was just then I noticed it wasn't Nurse Joy but Ash. I felt the smile slip of my face.

"Can – Can I come in?" the raven-haired boy stuttered.

"Of course," I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. I managed a small smile and looked up to the boy. He stood there, fidgeting with his hands and staring intently at the ground. Nervous, I realized. Ash was never nervous, anxious, yes, before an important match maybe, but never nervous. A huge grin spread across my face – maybe this was going to be fun after all.

"Well, close the door and sit down," I said gesturing to my small couch.

He nodded fervently, quickly closing the door and almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to get to the couch.

"So Ash, what brought you to my room on this beautiful day?" And why did you knock, I silently added.

"Um… Well, you see… erm… I – Well, I… you know… just… well, um, just… wanna… er-"

"Okay Ash, I get it," I cut him off.

"You – You do?" He looked relieved.

"No I don't, but we don't get anywhere that way."

His face fell and I stifled a chuckle. I wasn't laughing at Ash, but more about… well, the situation, you know how… okay, at Ash, whatever you want.

Back to the situation at hand – Ash only came to me for three reasons: Pokémon, food or to hide from an angry Misty. Since there was no angry redhead in sight, the latter didn't matter. Hey, that rhymes. Okay, focus, Brock, focus. Oh yes, Pokémon and food.

"Is it about Pokémon?"

He shook his head.

"About food?"

He shook his head again.

"About… Misty?"

"WHAT?! NO, Brock, why would you- No, no, no, absolutely not about- No, not about Misty." It sounded more like he tried to convince himself rather than me.

My smile grew as I asked the next question, "About girls then?"

"Yea-Yeah, 'bout girls," the Pokémon-Master-to-be answered.

"What's the problem with girls? You like them? Or do they don't like you?"

"Erm… well, um… I think… er… yeah well… um-"

Oh Arceus, not this again. I groaned.

"Ash," I started, trying to interrupt him, but he just kept blabbering, "Ash? Ash? Hey Ash? Ash?! ASH!" I suddenly yelled.

"Geez, Brock, you don't have to yell, I can hear you perfectly fine, ya know?"

Ugh, that kid is so annoying sometimes.

"Okay," I said slowly, "Do. You. Like. Girls?"

He looked at me as if I was crazy. "Er… yes, I suppose."

Thank Arceus, a straight answer.

"Okay, then what's your problem?"

"Er… yeah, you see… well-"

I wanted to bang my head against something. Preferably something hard. Stupid. Bang. Stupid. Bang. Stupid. Bang. Etc. Etc. Etc. You catch my drift, right?

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

Ash looked up, cheeks red, startled at my outburst.

"Ahem, yes, so, what's your problem with girls?"

His answer came in a barely audible whisper, "I just want them to… to like me."

"Oh Ash," I sighed, feeling pity for the younger boy. Puberty and its hells. "Okay, I'll help you."

"Thanks Brock," he beamed. Poor boy, he didn't know that the worst part had yet to come.

"Rule number one: Always listen to girl. Girls just love to talk about everything and nothing. Get used to it, block it out, nod occasionally or make disapproving sounds, ask a question sometimes, just make sure the girl keeps talking, then you're safe."

Ash nodded fervently, taking it all in.

"They usually think they talk about something very interesting. Believe me, ninety percent of the subjects are absolutely not relevant. Just keep them talking."

"Okay," he nodded slowly, "but what if I actually like what they're talking about?"

I gave him a look. "Then you're a girl."

He gulped.

"Riiight, number two. Compliment the girl. Compliment, compliment, compliment and compliment. Say her hair looks great, that she has beautiful eyes, or just that she looks good in that shirt. You can't do anything wrong with this, just don't say that her hair looks good when it's messed up, or that she looks great in that short skirt, 'cause she will take it the wrong way. Got it?"

He nodded, thought about it and then asked, "How can they take it the wrong way?"

"Erm…"

Oh Mew, how was I going to explain this? Ash wasn't ready for 'the talk' yet, and I was certainly not the right person to give him it. Mrs. Ketchum should do that, or Mr. Ketchum, wherever he was, hell, even Professor Oak was a better person to do that. Just… not me. I was sure he would ask about every little detail, and no one wants to answer all those questions. I shuddered.

"They just… they just do, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded slowly as in understanding, though I was pretty sure he didn't understand it one bit. It wasn't that Ash was dumb, just very dense. With the emphasis on very.

"Well, the last thing is being romantic. Complementing is a good start, but it gets you nowhere if you eat like a Pingite and stink like a Skuntank. And don't try to pick too much fights. So, be clean, mind your manners and at least try to be romantic. Even trying and being terrible at it is better than nothing, they'll appreciate the gesture. Take her on dates, give her flowers, chocolate, presents, do something special for her birthday. But that's more for when you have a girl… Hmm…"

What to do when you want to get a girl? A good question and I still hadn't the answer, even after years of trying erm… I mean training. Yeah, training.

In the meantime, Ash seemed to be thinking about the things I said before. A smile grew on his face. I cannot deny that it wasn't the slightest bit creepy to actually see Ash thinking.

"I get it, Brock, I really get it!" He seemed positively delightful. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! Now I'm sure Mi- er girls will like me. The only thing I have to do is to take a shower once a week, tell her she's beautiful and then listen to her rambling."

I smiled at Ash's slip of the tongue. "Sure Ash, no problem."

But you're sure once a week is enough? I thought slightly disgusted.

He practically skipped out of the room and I followed, a huge grin threatening to split my face.

"Hey, Ash, one last thing."

He was about to leave, but turned to face me, a big smile on his face.

"Good luck with Misty."

I turned around and started casually walking away. I knew it would take a few seconds for Ash to process, but it shouldn't be long now, in about three, two, one-

"BROCK! I never said I liked Misty. You hear me?! I do NOT like Misty!"

I smirked. Yes, Brocko did it once again.

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