The dungeon had never seemed more forlorn. Gwen concentrated on projecting confidence as she approached the cell nearest the guards. Despite how many times it happened, she was still shaken to the core every time her world was turned upside-down; she rather felt that living in Camelot should have cured her of that, by now.
Seeing Merlin slumped against the far wall shattered her assured façade. Her heart automatically went out to him, but her mind drew it back. He was a liar, a sorcerer. Magic could not be trusted, and therefore, neither could he.
So, why had she come?
He apparently wondered the same thing, his eyes questioning as they went to her. From the window opening high on the wall above him, the sound of hammering and shouts of workers setting up the stake and wood for the bonfire drifted in to wend its way around the condemned man, more effective than taunts or jeers.
At first, Gwen could not find words to express... anything, really. She had come for Arthur, knowing what the revelation had done to him and likewise knowing how much worse it would become if he followed through with the execution. All the same, if Merlin was somehow working against Arthur, what could she achieve in speaking with him? And, none of that encompassed the personal betrayal she felt- but she could set that aside, for now.
After too many moments of just staring at one another, she heard herself whisper, "Why?"
"It's my destiny," he replied dully.
Gwen blinked. "Your destiny is to kill Arthur?" Merlin might have deceived them- he had deceived them, for years- yet, even though it had crossed her mind when pondering her reasons for being here, she honestly had a hard time believing that he had been set on destroying Arthur all this time.
"What? No!" Merlin's eyebrows shot up and he leaned forward, though the spurt of energy seemed to leave him as quickly as it had arrived, and he drew up a knee to rest on. "If I wanted him dead, I've had plenty of opportunities to see it happen."
Deceiver he may be, but there, he was speaking truth. Even thinking back to when he had been enchanted by Morgana to assassinate Arthur, he had been so relieved to break the spell- "You're enchanted." Gwen suddenly brightened, relief washing over her. They could break an enchantment and set things to rights again.
"I'm not enchanted, Gwen," Merlin replied, a note in his voice catching her attention. It was... what was it? "I have magic."
It was something beyond maturity, beyond wisdom.
Darkness. That was it; there was a note of darkness in his words.
"How can you?" she asked, almost pleading with him to deny it.
He shrugged. "I just do. I always have."
She thought that she might be better off without the answer to her next question, but she needed to know. "Then, why are you in Camelot?"
"To save Arthur." He stood and started over toward her. Without thinking, Gwen took a nervous step back, and she saw hurt flash in his eyes. Still, she maintained that distance as his hands came to rest on the bars of the cell. "I have only ever tried to help him, I swear it."
"Magic is evil," she stated. That was not just a rote response; she had come to truly believe that.
"No. Uther led everyone to believe that, and drove away those who use it for good, if he did not execute them outright. That is why you never see good magic in Camelot, because everyone fears it so much that only those who wish to bring the kingdom down dare to use it here. Arthur may have made peace with the Druids, but nothing has changed for the rest of us."
"Why should it?" Gwen challenged him. "Would it not have made more sense for those who use magic for good to stop those who were attacking the kingdom, to prove to everyone that our fears are wrong?" Her father had died because of magic, and she had lost a dear friend to its malicious seduction, as well- two dear friends, it would seem. So much evil had befallen the people of their land, and it occurred to her that the greater cowardice lay with those who could have prevented those things, rather than with those who feared the power, in the first place.
Merlin's jaw dropped. "What do you think I've been doing all this time? I have saved Arthur's life more times than he will ever know, and prevented so many things that would have brought Camelot to its knees. Nobody else cares enough to, and why should they? The entire kingdom stood by and watched as Uther killed so many innocents. Arthur has had the chance to change things, but his heart has been turned, instead." Something flickered across Merlin's features, but Gwen was not sure what it was.
"Tell me," she said. When he just looked at her, apparently not understanding, she clarified. "Tell me what you have done to help Arthur and Camelot."
She had clearly surprised him. "It will take awhile," he warned, after a long hesitation.
The sounds of hammering seemed to increase. "You may wish to talk fast."
So, he told her. He told her everything.
*-*-*
The platform was nearly erected, and it would not take long to get the stake in place. From there, it was only a matter of properly piling the kindling around it.
Arthur tried to steel himself against how keenly he felt each thump of the hammers, as though they were driving into his heart, instead of into the wood below his window. It was not difficult to remind himself why the work was necessary; he could not erase the cause from his mind.
He was darting down a low valley after the bandits, Merlin and his knights right behind him, when there was a rumbling- a landslide set to crush them all, with no means of escape- certain death... until the devastating rubble froze in midair, before exploding backward onto the upper part of the valley. And there stood Merlin, his hand extended and his eyes glowing gold, the gold fading as his arm lowered, looking as though he might be ill as he met Arthur's gaze.
Any discomfort on his part was only a fraction of what hit Arthur in that moment.
Merlin had not fought or argued as the knights escorted him back to Camelot. He had only said one word: "Arthur," hesitantly, regretfully, as the king strode past him into the castle. Arthur pretended he had not heard, heading straight for his chambers as the others took Merlin to the dungeons.
As they took the sorcerer to the dungeons.
Guinevere had been waiting in their chambers when Arthur entered, already realizing something was wrong. He had briefly explained, and concluded with, "He will be executed as soon as possible. I tried to give magic a chance when I wanted to save my father, and will never again be so foolish."
At that point, he wondered if he was still explaining the situation to her, or if he was pleading with her to tell him that he was mistaken. However, as he met her eyes, he knew he had chosen the wrong way to get her to talk him out of it; her father's death was also due to magic. It was decided.
Arthur had gone to get the workmen started (he could not bring himself to issue a public proclamation, though he supposed it would have to be done soon), and when he returned, Guinevere was no longer in the room. So, he leaned by the window, and watched. He ignored the knocks on his door, even when Gaius appealed to him whilst remaining out in the corridor, when Arthur would not respond to his knock. After awhile, everyone apparently got the message, and left him alone.
The stake had just been raised when Gwen returned. The expression on Arthur's face was so disconsolate, her breath caught. Even now, he continued to blame himself for what had befallen Uther, and he had only been trying to help in that situation; she deeply feared what might happen to him if a friend was killed at his order. He was able to do what was necessary, and that was what part of made him a great king. The price he paid for doing so would be too great this time, however. She had erred in hesitating earlier, allowing her own fear to dictate her reaction rather than doing what she knew was right. If she did not act quickly... she did not wish to ponder what would happen.
Going over to Arthur, she took his hand, and he drew her in so that he could wrap his arms around her. She returned the embrace, hoping to give him the support he would need if he was going to face what actually needed to be done.
After a few minutes, she said softly, "I've been speaking with Merlin."
Arthur tensed within her arms, and whilst he did not draw away physically, she could sense him doing so emotionally. "Then, you had a wasted visit. You cannot trust anything he says."
She paused. "As it happens, I trust everything he said." It was true. Her mind was somewhat boggled by all that he had told her, but even so, she found that she did not doubt a word.
"What?" He did step back then, staring at her. "Gwen..."
She regarded him evenly and said, "It makes sense. So many things are so much clearer now."
"It's a trick." He shook his head. "An enchantment."
"It's what has actually been going on, all these years," she countered. "Arthur, he saved you today. How many times has he put his life on the line for yours? How many times could he have done you harm, yet you remain unscathed?"
There it was: a flicker of hope in his eyes. Despite that, he could not give in so easily. "Then, he must have a greater scheme in mind. Wait until I have gained more power, perhaps, and then take over the kingdom."
She could not help it; Gwen laughed. There was not much humor behind it, but it was an honest laugh.
Arthur frowned. "What?"
The laughter was good; it lightened her mood. "Merlin, running a kingdom?" It was not meant to be cruel; Merlin simply was not cut out for that sort of role, and they all knew it. He would likely be the first to admit as much.
"Just because he is not capable of running it, does not mean he might not try."
"You do not really believe that."
He dropped his chin, and the argument. "Even if I wanted to think he was trying to help me- which would be a first, for a sorcerer- the law states that those who practice magic will be put to death. Nothing I have seen has given me any reason to change that."
It was Gwen's turn to frown. "You changed it for the Druids."
"If I permit sorcery, it will invite any number of vengeful practitioners to our doorstep."
"And you will have a loyal one at your side, to fend them off. Though, I doubt it will be that bad."
He moved then, taking a few steps away from her. "I have striven all my life to be honest in my dealings. There were occasions when I could not, but I am as honest as I can possibly be. Yet, I am continuously presented with falsehoods. Everyone lying to my face, then betraying me. I'm so tired of lies."
Gwen stepped behind him and laid a hand on his arm. "In that case, it's time for you to hear the real story." She did not envy Merlin the task of sharing some of his actions with Arthur, and knew that a couple of points might in fact destroy any hope of keeping him alive. Nonetheless, they had agreed that it was best for Merlin to tell the entire history to Arthur, rather than glossing over anything. Total honesty.
Arthur turned back, taking her hands. "He may have already sealed his fate; he practiced magic in front off too many people for me to hide it."
"You decide his fate," she reminded him. "And the witnesses are his friends." Or, they had been. The rest remained to be seen. "It does not have to matter. There have been so many near-executions here, I do not think anyone will notice one more."
"I do not have to believe him," he pointed out.
Gwen gave his hands a squeeze. "You realize that he could have broken out of the dungeon by now; that he could have escaped you on the way back to Camelot."
"That does not rule out a larger plan." Regardless of what he was saying, Arthur was more relaxed than he had been in hours.
"Just go talk to him," she advised, with a comforting smile.
Arthur raised her hands and dropped a light kiss on her knuckles. "Very well." Releasing her fingers, he began to walk toward the door, but stopped and faced her once more. Quietly, he said, "Thank you."
Gwen smiled again, but as soon as the door was shut behind him, her smile faded, and she found herself wandering over to the window.
She was tired of lies, as well. Given a few days, she expected to feel more confident in the story Merlin had woven for her, but it was just so very, very much to process. It would be easy to say that she did not know her friend, at all- and it would also be wrong. He was her same friend, only... with magic. Power.
It would take some getting used to. Straightening, Gwen pushed away from the window. She had learned to become a queen after a lifetime of servitude; she would learn to live with a sorcerer for a friend. That was, after she sifted through all of the events he had related to her, sorting out the pieces of the puzzle. Making her way over to the bed, Gwen laid down, and pondered.