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Challenge accepted from Gin no Kaze

One Too Many

The Drunken Mistake

James never noticed, no one did, so she pretended nothing did happen. But something did happen, how did she not notice she was pregnant? She should have noticed her body was changing, how the bloody hell she not notice that she was late? She reasoned with herself that the war effort took much of her attention, and with the constant meeting with the Order that left her beyond exhausted. She should have noticed but she didn't. James and his friends were gone that night and wouldn't return until four days later after it had happened. The pain that she endured alone that night, so much blood came out of her, she cried that night when she realized what had happened. She cried and cried, her little baby died inside of her because of her irresponsibility. If she had known she would have taken better care of herself, she wouldn't have taken those few fire whiskies that are known to twice as worse as taking muggle whiskey during pregnancy. She would told James, and they would have a least has some type of name picked out for him or her.

Maybe it was her imagination but she swore through all that blood and fluids she had seen a tiny body. It was so tiny; it had little arms, legs, and a small little head bigger than its genderless body. A day after the incident, she vomited what little breakfast she and cleaned the mess robotically, no evidence was left of a miscarriage ever occurring. She had sat with a void look in her dull emerald green eyes, the newlywed Lily Potter sat there drinking a glass of wine and muttered bitterly, "Harry."

There were times when James noticed that the light of young wife was gone but when he looked again it they would be filled with laughter and he would shrug it off. The war effort must be getting to her, so later in the night he spend what precious little time they had together simply holding her close and murmuring nonsensical things that would make her laugh or smile.

No matter what James did, Lily knew her depression would not fade. And she tried; she really did but that emptiness and sense of failure had yet to fade. It clung to her, when she was left alone she would sit like she did that night and have a glass of wine. If James noticed that their bottle of wine had gotten significantly lighter he didn't say anything.

One night in late November Lily when out with a friend, Alice Longbottom – the only one who was aware of depression but not the cause of it – for a girls only mini weekend vacation. Alice chose an isolated Death Eater-free island by the name of Fortuna.

They got separate hotel rooms but made sure that it across from each other.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you, forget about it," Alice said gently as she fixed her hair. Lily opened her mouth to protest but Alice was quick to interrupt, "It must be serious if it's making you lose weight and color. Look at you, your freckles stand out more! We're here to relax and forget. Tonight there is no war; tonight we – Frank forgive me – are not married. Okay?"

Lily opened her mouth to protest but stopped, she'll pretend…maybe this is what she needs. "Okay."

"Good," she spun around looking at her jovially. "Now let's pretty you up!"

They laughed and giggled like college freshmen that still had mind of high school-ers, somewhere along the way both Lily and Alice had one too many drinks and lost each other. Lily was somber enough to know what was going on but drunk enough to not care. It was during that time she caught the idea of handsome young man. He was around the same age as her, eighteen, but he was actually nineteen. His aristocratic looks and the mysterious air he had was what first caught her eye, the power that she expelled and exotic sent was what attracted him. She threw caution to wind and flirted. In the end she invited him to her hotel room.

Both Alice and Lily woke up alone in their hotel rooms with major hangovers and no memory of what happened. They both gave each other the standard spell for checking if had been raped since they had both woken up naked – Alice had only been half-way there, they both sighed in relief to see the results as negative. They must be silly drunks, she knew because James had told her the one time she had gotten drunk with she had become giggly and extremely hot ("You should have seen it Lils, it sooo hot! Next thing I know you taking off your clothes!").

A month and a half later Lily has a small case of the stomach flu but goes to St. Mungos just to make sure it isn't anything serious. Two days later, James is ecstatic! Remus, Sirius, and Peter are congratulating the soon to be father. Lily is actually for once not forcing her smile because she pregnant and this time, this time she won't let him or her die.

The night she gave birth, a storm raged and she, like the night she had her miscarriage, was alone. That night she feared it would be a stillborn, but cries of an irate babe quelled her fears. Although exhausted and sore Lily held her baby boy close to her and smiled. Murmuring a cleaning spell, all amniotic fluids were gone leaving a clean and dry still whining baby. She observed all that was her son from his tiny little feet to small button nose.

Light white strands of hair brushed the palm of her hand.

He had yet to open his eyes, she wondered if he would have her green eyes or James' brown hues. Then he let out a small yawn and opened his deep blue intelligent eyes met her own loving green eyes that soon turned shocked. Blue? She had been so relieved to see her living, breathing son she hadn't noticed.

Her son wasn't…he wasn't James'?

It was at that very moment what happened that November night, that drunken haze she put herself in.

She clutched her baby closer to her chest, would James even accept him? No, she couldn't risk it. Where the hell was her Gryffindor courage? The enfant let out a soft noise, his blues eyes remained glued on her. Lily's green eyes filled with warmth, she knew what she had to do, "Hi, this will only tingle just a little bit."

Her wand lightly tapped her son's white hair, the baby scrunched his face letting out an irritate wail. "Shhh it's okay baby, it's okay." Black ink spread from the crown of his little head taking over all the white, blue eyes turned a green shade.

"I think I'll call you Nero. It's unique like your birth fathers', he may not know you exist but I should at least give him a little credit. I mean, it's a small world what if you meet him some day," she conversed to the now sleepy Nero in attempt to quell her own uncertainty. "James' will understand some day."

Five hours pass until James and his friends return, by then Lily has given in to exhaustion and the newborn Nero is taking his second nap in his cot. He looks astonished to see that his child is no longer residing within his mother.

"What are you going to name him?" Sirius whispers his eyes glued to his godson.

James turned to look at him grinning ear to ear, "I always thought Harry was a good name."

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