Author's Note: This is a little something I randomly imagined as I fell asleep last night.

What if Richtofen and Kathleen switched roles? As in, what if he spontaneously transported to her time?

Just a goofy, short spinoff of my story Between Dream and Reality! (Which you should read if you haven't!)

It's super fun to write, so I hope it's just as much fun to read! This'll probably be like three chapters total, for reference.

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For reference of Kitty and Richtofen's current opinions of each other, the "transportation" would take place around Chapters 15/16 of BDaR, during the blizzard... aka the chapters I've recently finished writing. XD

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Between Two Realities
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

CHAPTER ONE

das ist lächerlich
"This is Ridiculous"

My head was throbbing.

I opened my eyes, blinking at the sudden change of light, frowning at the fresh-smelling air.

Was I … home?

I looked around, frantic. There was the old familiar rug beneath my fingers, the glass top table with random knick knacks and candles. The cluttered bookcase. The antique desk with my mom's laptop and printer. And my beautiful, broken Xbox in the corner.

I was home.

Then someone groaned beside me.

My heart fell. I twisted around, staring at my worst nightmare.

Doctor Richtofen. In my house.

"Scheiße," he hissed, pressing fingertips against his temple. He propped himself up on his left arm, blinking. His eyes widened as he looked around the room, glinting with outrage. "Vhat is zhis?" he snarled.

"Shit, shit, shit," I was muttering, frowning so hard my face hurt.

He turned to face me, looking perplexed. His voice cracked. "Kazhleen?"

Oh god. What do I do? There's a fucking Nazi in my living room, I'm covered in zombie shit, and I don't even know what day it is. I scrambled to my feet, running out into the foyer.

"Vhere are you going?" he yelled.

"Be quiet!" I hissed. I stumbled into the kitchen, looking around every corner. "Mom?" I yelled, my voice hoarse. "Mom?"

No answer.

I ran back to the foyer, tripping over the carpet next to the staircase. "Mom?" I yelled again.

Still no answer.

Richtofen limped out to find me, his face crumpled with anger. "Is zhis your home?" he hissed.

I turned to face him, so pissed that I didn't care who he was. "You need to shut up," I snapped. "This is really, really bad."

He narrowed his eyes, straightening up to his full height. "Vhy?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because you…" I stared at the armband on his left sleeve, panicked. I closed my eyes. "It's really not okay for you to be wearing that in here."

He frowned, glancing down at his arm. "Meine Hakenkreuz?"

"Yeah. The swastika. It's …" I shook my head, frustrated.

"Vhat?"

"You can't wear those anymore," I snapped.

Richtofen raised his eyebrows. "Interesting," he murmured.

"Yeah, super interesting," I muttered, biting my lip. "Now take it off."

He grinned cruelly. "Youare ordering me around now?" he asked, his voice threatening.

I glared at him. "Yeah. I am." His eyes widened in shock as I lunged forward and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the stairs. "Now come with me."

"You vill regret zhis," he hissed, tripping up the stairs behind me.

What the hell was I supposed to do with him? I had no idea where my parents were, or when they'd come back. I'd been gone for days, in a zombie-infested hellhole, and I had no way of knowing how they'd react when they saw me. Sometimes they barely tolerated me under their roof… yet whenever I was out too late, they panicked. And now I had a mad scientist on my hands. A mad scientist from night-of-the-living-Nazi Germany.

"You have to listen to me," I said, dragging him down the upstairs hall. I shoved him through the door to my room, locking it behind us. "My parents are out right now, but when they get back, this is going to get nasty. I have no idea how long I've been gone, and I've brought a strange man back to the house."

"Und vhy is zhis a problem?" he asked, frowning.

"Because it just is," I hissed. "That's the way things work here. My parents are in charge, and I have no idea how I'm going to explain this."

We stared at each other. He looked out of place, way too big for my room. The bloodstained military clothing, the MP40 dangling off of his belt; the anger, fiery in his eyes. I let out a sharp breath.

"You have to take off these clothes," I said, my voice tense.

His eyes narrowed. "You bring me to zhis bedroom to undress me?"

I grit my teeth. "You're bloody and disgusting. If I can't explain you in general, it's gonna be a lot worse when you walk in looking like a mass murderer."

He scoffed. "In many vays, I am a mass murderer."

"I know!" I barked. "That's the worst part!" My stomach twisted with anxiety. "Take all that shit off. The gun and everything. I need to hide it somewhere."

"I am not removing my MP40."

"You have to, or you'll get arrested," I grumbled. "Take it off."

Richtofen stared at me, livid. "Arrested?" he snapped.

"Yes! And if you try to kill someone, you'll get shot. Now take the fucking belt and jacket off!"

He pressed his lips together, slowly unbuckling his belt. He placed it on the ground, and began to unbutton his jacket. "Shouldn't you change clozhing as vell?" he hissed, glaring at me.

I looked down at myself. Blood-covered German winter coat, the ray gun still bulging in my pocket. I ripped it off of my shoulders, balling it up in my arms. "Shit," I mumbled to myself, falling to my knees and stuffing it under my bed. I couldn't even comprehend what was happening. Now I was in the bloodstained costume jacket, which I unbuttoned and shoved under the bed, too.

"Your dress is shtained as vell," Richtofen murmured spitefully.

I jerked around to glare at him. "Thanks for the information," I snapped back.

He grinned.

Now he was wearing his high-collared white undershirt, which was also dotted with bloodstains. I shook my head, running my hands through my hair. "This is so fucked up," I groaned. "I thought I'd be happy to get back home, and … now you're here."

"I am not pleased vith zhis situation eizher," he snapped. "Und I shtill do not understand vhy ve must undress."

"People don't just walk around in blood-drenched clothes!" I hissed. "And besides, do you really want everyone in my reality finding out that you're a real person? What kind of chaos would that create?"

His eyes glimmered with pleasure at the thought, but he closed them and raised his eyebrows. "I suppose your logic is sound," he muttered. "Exposing ze general public to ze existence of ozher realities vould cause mass confusion…"

"Exactly," I snapped. I stalked over to my closet, throwing open the doors. My clothes. I sighed. I never thought I'd be so happy to see my own clothes. I pulled out a fluffy, high-necked sweater and some jeans.

"Vhat are you doing now?" Richtofen asked, his voice sharp.

Clothes in my arms, I walked across the room to my dresser, opening a drawer. "I'm getting clothes to change into," muttered. "I can't wear these anymore." I snatched up a pair of underwear and a bra, shutting the drawer.

"Vhat am I going to vear?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea," I groaned. I threw the small pile of clean clothes onto my bed, reaching down to grab the bottom of my skirt. I glanced over at the doctor, who was watching me with shrewd, narrow eyes. I sighed. "Don't say anything," I snapped. Then I pulled the dress up over my head.

Holy crap. I smelled like shit. Literal shit. I threw the dress to the floor, disgusted. My heart was pounding.

"I've gotta go take a shower," I said to myself. Then I closed my eyes. "Stay here," I said loudly. I looked at Richtofen with a pointed glare, grabbing the pile of clothes. He was staring at me with a mixture of hatred and fascination.

I walked fast through the hall, barreling into the bathroom. I piled the clean clothes onto the sink. Then I tore the rest of my clothes off of my body, throwing them into the trash. Jumping into the shower immediately, I turned the water on, not even waiting for it to warm up. I lathered my hair and my body in a rush, trying to be as thorough as possible. Then I rinsed and jumped out, toweling off. I pulled on my fresh clothes quickly, buttoning my jeans as I walked back into my room.

Richtofen was still standing in the middle of the floor, stiff and silent. It was shocking to see him there.

"Zhis new clozhing is interesting," he murmured, looking me over. "Ze trousers are so … snug."

"Come on," I muttered, grabbing his hand. I dragged him through the hall to my parents' room. My heart thudded against my ribs. "Wait there," I said, pushing him against their dresser. He stood there, looking torn between amusement and frustration.

I ran into my parents' walk-in closet. Sweaters and workout clothes were all folded in one corner. I dug through them, pulling out the biggest pair of my dad's sweatpants I could find. Then I ran back out, heading for the dresser. Richtofen watched as I pulled open all the drawers. Finally, I found my dad's T-shirts and boxers. I stole one of each, piling them on top of the sweatpants and shutting the drawer behind me.

"Come on," I said again, grabbing the doctor and pulling him back out into the hall.

"Zhis is making me extremely angry," he snarled in a low voice.

"Too bad," I snapped. I shoved him into the bathroom, and he stared at me in shock.

"Vhat is the purpose of zhis?" he cried, shrill.

"Get in the shower and bathe," I commanded. "You smell like an animal."

He inhaled sharply. If looks could kill, I would've been stabbed through the throat. Twelve times. He turned slowly, and I closed the door behind him.

I stood outside, waiting. I listened as the water turned on. He didn't make a sound. After a few minutes of rushing water, the shower shut off, and I heard bare feet moving around on the tile. Finally, the door opened.

There was Doctor Edward Richtofen, standing in my bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

What the hell was my life?

"Get your clothes," I said, avoiding his eyes and trying very hard not to look at his mostly bare body.

He chuckled. "You vill shamelessly display your brassiere, but my implied nudity disturbs you?"

"Get your clothes!" I snapped. "I have to do something with them… Maybe wash them or something." I frowned. How exactly did you wash a German general's uniform from 1945?

He turned around and padded back toward the shower, collecting his garments from the floor. Of course, they were all neatly folded. Blood-covered, shit-smelling, but neatly folded. His visor sat on top. He held the pile out to me. I accepted it with a reluctant groan, holding it in the arm without the clean clothes. "God this is so weird," I grumbled.

"I imagine ze feeling is mutual," Richtofen muttered. I noticed he was holding his boots.

"Come back into my room," I said, starting toward my door.

"Ah," he cried. "So ze bedroom is yours. I vill have to examine it more closely."

My heart fell. "Don't you dare," I hissed, stepping through the doorframe.

"I believe you cannot shtop me," he murmured, his voice gleeful and cruel.

I pulled him inside, throwing his nasty uniform on the floor and slamming the door shut. Then I thrust my dad's stolen clothing into his arms. "Put these on," I said. "The little shorts are underwear."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I know vhat briefs are," he snapped. He folded the sweatpants and the shirt and placed them on the floor. "Unterhose appears to have changed very little in zhis reality," he mused, turning the boxer briefs around in his hands. He stretched the elastic waist, examined the front pocket.

Then he unceremoniously dropped his towel to the floor.

I gasped, twisting around. "Shit," I hissed. That was close.

I could almost hear him smiling behind me. "Zhis aversion you have to nudity is … interesting," he murmured. I could hear him lift a foot from the carpet to slip his leg through the briefs.

"Most people have an aversion to nudity!" I snapped.

"Not me," he mused.

I clenched my teeth. "You're a doctor."

He chuckled. "Und you are prudish."

I had to turn around and glare at him. Thank god he had the briefs on.

He raised his eyebrows, staring at me with amusement. Grinning spitefully, he shifted the waistband around his narrow, bony hips, tugging on the bottom of the briefs. I set my jaw, staring above his head as he obviously rearranged some things. "Zhis makes you so uneasy," he laughed. I closed my eyes, and he laughed some more.

"There's a grown man from another plane of existence standing in the middle of my room in boxer briefs," I muttered. "And the man happens to be you." I glared at him again. "Of course I'm uncomfortable."

His mouth quirked to one side. "Zhis is so amusing."

I groaned, leaning against my bedstead. "I'm glad someone's having fun," I grumbled.

He grinned wolfishly, bending over to fetch the sweatpants, and fear shivered down my spine. He was mostly naked and I still found him terrifying. Only he could somehow make underwear seem threatening.

As he unfolded and examined the pants, I furtively looked him over. I was trying to find some kind of physical vulnerability, but it seemed like he didn't have one. Wiry muscles flexed underneath every inch of his skin. He seemed even taller unclothed, which was ridiculous, and he was so obviously German. Blonde hair, broad chest, wide shoulders, strong arms: The man was the picture of the Aryan ideal. Aside from all the scars and bruises.

"Finished vith your examination?" he muttered, pulling the T-shirt over his head.

I blushed, frowning. "How do you see everything?"

"I'm observant," he said. He looked down at himself, now fully dressed. The sweatpants almost fit him, a little too short at the ankles. The shirt was huge, so it wasn't a problem. He wiggled his bare toes against the carpet. "Zhis texture is interesting," he murmured.

I ran a hand through my wet hair, thinking. We were clean. We were dressed. There was a pile of pungent clothing on my floor, weapons stashed under my bed. A mad scientist from another reality stood beside me, wearing the world's frumpiest clothing. It was about as good as it was gonna get.

But how did I explain all of this?

I turned to look at Richtofen, who was rubbing his feet against the carpet now, enraptured. Locks of wet hair fell across his forehead as he bent over, examining the threads.

"Doctor," I muttered.

He looked up fast, his eyes tense. "Vhat?" he snapped.

"You're my professor."

His eyebrows bunched together. "… Vhat?"

I bit my lip, thinking. "I'm … I'm gonna say you're my new professor. For … a German class I decided to take. For some reason." I groaned, my face crumpling. If I couldn't even convince myself, how was I ever going to convince my parents?

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Vearing zhis?" he asked, incredulous.

I felt my forehead wrinkle as I stared at him. "… Damn it," I groaned.

"You are ze vorst liar I have ever met," he grumbled. "Und I've met a few."

I pressed the heel of my palm against my face, thinking. "Maybe… you were at the gym? Working out?" I shook my head. "I don't know. This is all so ridiculous. I'm never going to get away with it. We should've just left you in the bloody uniform," I mumbled. I closed my eyes, giving up.

The air shifted as Richtofen sat down on the floor. I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me, resigned.

"I vill do ze zhinking," he sighed, sounding bored. "Give me silence." Then he closed his eyes.

I watched him think for an interminable amount of time. It was incredibly dull. I yawned, leaning back against my bed. Crawled onto the bedspread, cuddling a pillow. Smelled the delightful smell of my own blankets. Rolled around happily on the comforter, distracted by the fact that I was on a real bed. A real, fucking bed. My bed.

Finally, he opened his eyes.

"I am an immigrant," he murmured.

I crawled to the edge of the bed, peering over at him. "An immigrant?"

"I've recently traveled here from Deutschland, und I've suffered severe culture shock." He looked up at me, his green eyes sinister. Plotting. "You discovered me wandering ze streets in confusion, und decided to make me your … project." He grinned. It was anything but comforting. "Ja. Zhis is believable, und supported by ze fact zhat you are extremely strange. Und unpredictable."

I glared at him. "Look who's talking," I grumbled.

That's when the front door opened, and I heard their voices.

"Kathleen?"

It was my mom. Then, my dad.

"Kathy, you home?"

I closed my eyes.

Here goes.

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Hehehehehe...

I think I'm probably more amused by this than anyone else is gonna be ... ... herp derp.

BUT, you should tell me what you think! Because it would make me smile and bounce around in happiness. c:

Ze Doctor Says: "Vhat is zhis strange place? ... It schmells so ... clean ... ... Vhat do YOU zhink?!"

Reviews bring him JOY!