Chapter Five

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CHAPTER WARNINGS: language, slash, homophobia, child abuse (physical and sexual), and implied sex

I think that's it.


"Ready, Cas?" Dean pursed his lips and eyed the front door of the Novak's small, ramshackle home. There was already a hoard of cars parked out front on the lawn and Dean could hear voices floating out through the thin walls and the gaps in the insulation.

Cas held his bag tightly to his chest and cleared his throat. His eyes flickered up to the front door and he recalled the last time he'd gone through; he'd been dragged by his hair outside and left there as punishment. He tried to push back the memories vying for his attention in the front of his mind. "I suppose."

"Hey," Dean gripped his shoulder and grinned reassuringly. He could hear Cas's breathing shorten slightly and saw his grip on his back tighten. "I'm here, aren't I? Like I'd let any of them touch you."

Cas's lips twitched into a small smile. He knew Dean was trying hard to make him feel better, and it meant the world to Cas. He scrubbed his hand over his mouth and began, "Dean, I know I've been weak, lately, and I know you're not...I know it's hard...I'm sorry."

"Don't be stupid, Cas," Dean snorted, punching Cas's upper arm lightly. "So you're a little out of it. You have a right to be; you just lost someone you love."

"The last thing I told her was that it was her fault," Cas said softly as he and Dean made their way to the front porch. He could feel Dean's gaze on him, observing him closely. He kept his gaze locked on the frozen grass. "That it was her fault I was leaving. And it wasn't...not really, anyway."

Dean sucked in a lungful of the chilly air and moved so Cas could go up the porch steps first. He didn't know what to say, and he had the feeling Cas just needed to get it out anyway; he wasn't looking for absolution. Dean couldn't give it to him.

"Stick with me while we're here, alright?" Dean demanded more than asked, reaching up to knock on the rough wood door.

"I can take care of myself," Cas replied testily, clutching the strap of his laptop case tightly. His knuckles turned white as his finger wrapped around the heavy cloth. "I lived with them for my whole life."

"And you've obviously come out completely undamaged," Dean muttered, rolling his eyes and knocking sharply. He glanced over at Cas and said seriously, "Just humor me, okay?"

"I don't see why this is funny," Cas said simply.

Dean rolled his eyes, biting back a small smile, and rapped sharply on the door three times with his knuckles.

The door was flung open and Dean stepped back reflexively, pushing Cas behind him.

"Cas?"

Balthazar had been the one to open the door, and Dean found that he was incredibly grateful for that. He was the least daunting of Cas's siblings, and that in itself said a lot about the rest of Cas's family. He smiled at Cas and pulled him in for a hug. Cas stiffened and awkwardly returned the embrace before pulling away and moving to stand next to Dean again, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling nervously.

"Balthazar," Cas greeted his brother with a small, restrained smile. "It is...it is good to see you."

"You, too," Balthazar replied honestly. He gave Cas a quick once over and smiled complacently. Cas looked good, he looked healthy, if not a little sad. He was always a smaller kid, but he'd filled out pretty well and grown into his body. He was wearing a sweater that used to be Gabriel's and jeans that must have been his, because they fit him well. His dark hair was a ruffled mess, and Balthazar smiled when he thought of the mornings Cas had spent so much time trying to get it to look neat, to no avail. Cas had always been different from the rest of them, but so undeniably the same. He was dysfunctional and broken (to an extent Balthazar didn't think he knew the whole story to, though he had his suspicions) just like the rest of them were. Unlike the rest of the family, however, Cas had found people who could fix him.

Cas grinned at him and the uncertainty and fear that seemed to have plagued Cas when he was a teenager wasn't anywhere in his expression. Balthazar rubbed his nose and bit back a pleased smile. "You look great, Cas."

Cas laughed a little and ducked his head.

"Can we come in?" Dean spoke up, hating to break up their reunion but aching to get a few hours of sleep in a bed before the funeral. His neck and back hurt from being crammed in the car for so long, and the weight of the duffel bag seemed to increase more every second. "Thirty hour drive, kind of tired."

"Charming as ever, Dean," Rachel commented snidely as she strolled by on her way to the kitchen.

"Great, she's here," Dean muttered, hefting the duffle bag up on his shoulder and pushing past Balthazar into the hallway. Cas followed, pulling the door shut behind him. "Where are we staying?"

"You can have the couch if you want it and Cas can sleep in his old bed," Balthazar offered. He paused when he saw the murderous glare Dean had fixed on him and reconsidered, amused and intrigued by the violent reaction. "Or you could sleep on the floor. We've got an air mattress. It'll fit next to Cas's bed if you'd rather do that."

"I would," Dean replied. "Cas, I'm gonna catch a few hours of sleep."

"I think I will, too," Cas said slowly, glancing around the house. He could hear voices in the bedrooms and the living room, but he really didn't feel like talking with any of his family members. He'd rather just lie in bed for a few hours, even if sleep couldn't come to him.

Balthazar shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows at Cas. "I'll get the air mattress, though it seems like you may not need it."

"Balthazar," Cas chastised him wearily, his heart not into it at all. He'd pretty much given up telling people he and Dean weren't dating. If that's what people saw, then that's what they saw. Cas was too tired to care. "Just get the mattress."

"Whatever you want, princess," Balthazar winked and disappeared down the hallway towards the storage closet.

Cas sagged against the wall and sighed.

This was going to be a long two days.


"So, uh, this is the bedroom," Sam motioned to the small room and hovered in the doorway. "As you can see, there are three beds."

"Pretty crammed in here," Dave commented, his eyes flickering between the beds. He ignored Sam's barb about the separate beds, instead asking, "Is that one yours?"

He pointed to the one on the wall next to the door. There were law books and notebooks and papers piled on the dark sheets, and Dave could see the indent in the mattress Sam's body had carved over the years.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "It's kind of a mess right now." he laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "The whole place is kind of a mess right now."

Dave shrugged and looked at the other two beds. The one on the opposite wall must have been Sam's brother's; it was unmade and t-shirts and torn magazines were tossed onto the crumpled bedspread. The one on the wall near the bathroom was Cas's, then. The flannel sheets were ruffled, but it was neater than the rest of the room, and there were thick, leather-bound tomes piled up next to the headboard. Cas had a small golden cross hanging on his bed frame and a picture of his younger self with Sam and Dean tacked up on the wall next to a copy of the Lord's prayer.

"So, uh, we can hang out in the living room, if you want," Sam offered, catching Dave's attention and drawing in away from Cas's corner of the room.

He turned to Sam and smiled warmly, moving to grip Sam's hips as best he could while he held a paper bag in one of his fists. "I'd like that."

Sam smiled and kissed him quickly before turning and heading towards the couch. Dave sighed and tightened his grip on the bag in his hands. He took a deep breath; tonight was the night. They'd been together for almost two months, and Dave was ready to seal the deal. Sam was shy, he got that; the kid had never slept with anyone before. But he couldn't stay pure forever, and Dave had been holding on long enough. He wanted to be the one to take Sam's innocence, he wanted to be the one Sam thought back on thirty years from now as the man who had claimed him first.

He joined Sam on the couch and Sam leaned against him, resting his head on Dave's shoulder. Dave could tell Sam was tired. He was understandably upset by what had happened with his brother and Cas. He was vulnerable, and Dave wasn't going to let this chance get by.

"What's with the bag?" Sam yawned , pawing at the paper bag on Dave's lap.

Dave unrolled the top and pulled out a beer. Sam immediately lost interest and looked away. "You've never had a drink, Sam?"

"No," Sam said truthfully. Dave felt something in his stomach squirm. God, the kid was so fucking pure. He was begging to be tainted, just a little bit. "My dad...he used to drink."

"Try it," Dave popped the top off with his lighter and offered the bottle to Sam. "One won't hurt you, babe. You're an adult now, you can handle it. Can't you?"

Sam sat up and pursed his lips, hesitant.

"It's just me, Sam," Dave smiled reassuringly. "What's the worst that could happen?"


Cas felt someone standing behind him as he tried to make himself and Dean sandwiches in the kitchen, and sighed, turning around to face Hester.

"Hey, Cas," Hester grinned and stood up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

"Hi, Hester," Cas relaxed marginally when he saw his sixteen year old sister standing there. Hester was a sweetheart, and Michael had a soft spot for her. She would probably get out of that house the least damaged of all of them. "How are you?"

"A little bored since you left," Hester admitted, plopping down in a chair at the kitchen table. "No one around here is any fun, Cas. They all talk to me like I'm five."

"They're trying," Cas raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "You leave in two years anyway. Have you thought about school?"

"Michael said he'd pay to put me through Holyoke," Hester nodded, pushing her hair out of her face. "Hey, is Dean around?"

"Ooooh, someone's got a little crush," Joshua teased Hester as he wandered by. She smacked his arm and he punched her bicep, hard.

"Ouch!" Hester yelped. "Joshua, cut it out!"

"What?" Joshua blinked innocently. "You started it."

"Friggin' five year olds," Raphael snarled as he shoved by them to dig through the old ice box. "Michael's going to be home soon. Have you both done your chores?"

Hester nodded and Joshua rolled his eyes before leaving the kitchen to do whatever it was Michael had assigned him. Cas returned to making sandwiches, effectively blocking out the voices of his arguing siblings. Even after being gone for three years, it was a skill that hadn't faded.

He was jolted from his peace when Inias slammed into his leg and almost sent him toppling to the floor. He managed to regain his balance and wrapped an arm around Inias's neck in a one armed hug. "Hi, Inias."

"Hi, Cas," Inias replied quietly, burying his face in Cas's hip and clinging to Cas's jeans. His small fingers dug into Cas's thigh through the worn denim. "You're home."

"Yeah," Cas rubbed Inias's long blonde hair soothingly, running his fingers through the fine strands. He swallowed hard and tugged his bottom lip under his teeth. Inias was the one reason he regretted leaving home. He'd been in that stage where all he wanted to do was follow Cas around all the time around the time Cas had left home. The kid had idolized him, and Cas had been too afraid of Michael to come home to say goodbye. "How are you, Inias?"

Inias regarded him with serious brown eyes and considered Cas a moment before responding. "Sad. Everyone is mad at each other."

Cas smile bitterly and raised an eyebrow. "They're usually that way, aren't they?"

Inias nodded and rubbed his eyes with balled up fists. "Are you staying this time?"

"No," Cas replied, determinedly ignoring the knife in his chest the single word left behind. "I have to go back to California. That's where I attend school now."

"Oh," Inias looked a little disappointed, but perked up when he caught sight of the sandwiches on the counter. Cas smiled softly and handed him one. Inias smiled up at him, sticking his tongue through the gap in his teeth, and trotted away, clutching the sandwich tightly in his small hands.

Cas considered making another sandwich for a moment, but decided against it. He wasn't hungry. Dean had practically shoved food down his throat every time they stopped while they were driving. He set the plate on top of a package of beef in the icebox so Dean could have it when he got out of the shower.

He hovered nervously in the living room door for a few moments, unsure of where he wanted to go. He felt extremely out of place and uncomfortable. He'd thought he'd left this place behind for good. He'd never imagined he'd have to come back again. Michael would probably have a fit when he got home and found out Cas was there.

"Stop hovering, Cas," Uriel said shortly, his deep voice startling Cas when he suddenly spoke up. He was sitting on the couch, flipping through a folder of papers propped open on his thighs. "It's irritating."

Cas curled his lip distastefully at him. "I don't have to answer to you, Uriel."

Uriel snorted derisively and didn't bother looking up from his work.

"Where are Michael and Gabriel?" Cas asked after a few moments. Balthazar had mentioned that Zachariah would be there just in time for the funeral and that Virgil and Gabriel were in town buying food for the next few days, but he hadn't heard any news about Michael or Gabriel.

"Michael will be home soon," Uriel replied distractedly, rubbing his chin and squinting at the small numbers in one of the columns on his papers. "Lucifer...who knows. I'm not sure if he's coming or not." he paused for a moment. "I hope he doesn't. The last thing this funeral needs is one of he and Michael's arguments. It'll already be bad enough with Dean and Michael and Gabriel."

Cas pressed his lips together into a thin line. He couldn't disagree; Michael and Virgil were Dean's least favorite of Cas's brothers. Cas had a feeling Dean had suspicions about Virgil and what he'd done to Cas, though he didn't know how Dean had caught on.

"Cas, what's up?" Dean came into the living room dressed in fresh clothes and toweling off his damp hair. He glared at Uriel suspiciously before his eyes flickered back to Cas.

"I left you a sandwich in the icebox," Cas said, moving to take a seat in the tattered arm chair across the room from Uriel, not that his brother noticed. He was too wrapped up in the figures on his paper, the way he'd always been too wrapped up in his homework when he was in high school to acknowledge Cas's audible whimpers of fear from where Michael had locked him in the hall closet.

Dean returned to the living room, tossing his towel onto the kitchen counter and plopping onto the couch next to Cas's chair with his sandwich. "You good, Cas?"

Uriel snorted from his place across the room.

Cas stood up quickly and started out of the living room. "I'm going to take a shower."

"C'mon, Cas," Dean protested, half standing up. "He's just being-"

"I just want to shower, Dean," Cas snapped, whirling around to glare at Dean, cutting off his protest. "Or are you afraid I'll get hurt in there?"

Dean's eyes darkened and he sank back into his seat.

Cas opened his mouth like he was going to apologize, looking penitent, but shook his head and pressed his lips together before turning and disappearing down the hallway.


"Sam," Dave gasped Sam's name against the younger man's lips and pressed insistently against Sam's body. Sam kissed him deeply, pulling at Dave's collar to bring Dave's face closer to his. Dave moved his mouth to Sam's neck, working to leave dark, territorial marks that Sam would still have when his brother and Cas got home. Sam's fingers dug into Dave's biceps and he tilted his head to expose more of his throat.

When Sam was sufficiently distracted, Dave moved his hands to the button of Sam's jeans. Sam froze and batted Dave's hands away lightly. "Dave, wait..."

Sam's voice was slurred and his movements were sluggish. He was definitely drunk, and Dave wasn't surprised; he'd talked the kid into three beers. Dave nuzzled his nose against Sam's neck. "I want to show you how much I love you."

"Love me?" Sam blinked slowly, shock registering on his features. "You do?"

Dave nodded and kissed him slowly. He felt Sam's body melt against his. "I love you."

"No one's told me that since I was little," Sam mumbled, smiling lazily. He laughed. "I...Dave...I love you, too. Don't tell Dean and Cas I told you that..."

"I won't, babe," Dave promised. He moved his hands to the waistband of Sam's jeans again. He could see Sam hesitate as he tried to make sense of what was going on in his jumbled, impaired mind. "Sam, relax. Let me take care of you. Just relax."

"Will it...it hurts, doesn't it?" Sam asked quietly, sounding suddenly very vulnerable.

"For a second," Dave kissed Sam's forehead and left his lips there, so he was speaking against Sam's skin. "I promise you, Sam, it's good. I'll be careful. Please."

Sam shook his head to try to clear his thoughts, but it just made him dizzy. He felt weird, and really tired, and he couldn't move his limbs properly. His body was warm and humming and he felt like his skin was burning and freezing at the same time. He shivered when Dave's skin brushed his, and he was torn between saying yes and being terrified of taking that step.

"I dunno, Dave," Sam tried to form the words with lips that refused to move correctly. "I'm not sure if..."

"Please," Dave breathed against Sam's neck, rubbing circles with his thumb on Sam's hip, dipping his finger below Sam's jeans to stroke his skin. "Please, Sam. I love you. I love you..."

Sam twitched a little as Dave's thumb slid along his hipbone. A low moan escaped his lips and he pressed his forehead against Dave's collarbone. He closed his eyes and softly breathed, "Okay."


Cas let the warm water coming in spurts from the showerhead run down his body as he stood under the spray with his forehead pressed against the cracked tile wall. His body ached from being crammed in the car for so long and the lukewarm water felt good against his ice cold skin. It was quiet and peaceful and Cas honestly just never wanted to get out. He didn't want to watch his baby sister be buried, see him family fight, go back to school and work himself to death trying to graduate, and stand by while the love of his life dated another man. He didn't want to deal with anything, ever again, he just wanted to stand under the crappy showerhead with sketchy water pressure in the small tub for the rest of his life.

There was a knock on the door and Gabriel's voice called through the thin wood, "Cas, hurry up. You're not the only one who lives here, princess."

Cas sighed irritably and turned off the water. He resented anyone but Balthazar calling him 'princess'. Balthazar was joking with him; the rest of them were mocking him.

Cas toweled himself off in the tub and stepped out with it draped around his shoulder to keep away the chill of the air for as long as possible.

"Still taking long showers?"

Cas jumped when he heard Virgil's voice coming from the corner of the bathroom and pulled the towel to cover himself.

"There's nothing wrong with being a little dirty, Cas," Virgil grinned and stood up from the small stool by the sink. Cas backed up against the door as Virgil moved closer. "But I know you know that."

"That's sick," Cas spat, huddling against the door, clutching the towel tightly to himself. If he hadn't been panicked out of his mind, he would have taken time to ridicule his brother for the cliché. "Get out of here, Virgil."

"Go away for a couple years and now you come back here thinking you're God?" Virgil grinned predatorily at him and leaned over the smaller man, resting his hand on the wood of the door, inches from Cas's head. "You've grown up, Cas, but you're no better than you were before you left here."

"I don't need to be," Cas snapped, his eyes flickering from Virgil's hands to his face to his body, watching for him to make a move and getting ready to run for it. "I'm not a bad person. I never was."

"All people are bad, Cas," Virgil grinned darkly at Cas and moved closer, so his lips were brushing Cas's ear. "Some people are just better at hiding it."

"Cas!"

Cas had never been so grateful to hear Dean's voice in his life. He wiggled away from Virgil's hand, which had begun to trail down his chest, and pushed the door behind him open, sending them both tumbling into the hallway.

Dean was surprised when the door opened and barely had time to step back before Cas and Virgil fell into the narrow hall. Dean managed to grab Cas's arm and catch him before he could hit the ground. Virgil wasn't so lucky, and fell flat on his face on the wood floor.

Cas couldn't find it in himself to be sorry.

"You brought this one with you?" Virgil rolled over and pushed himself up on his elbows. He eyed Dean disgustedly. "I always thought you had a thing for the tall one. Unless you're sleeping with both of them?"

Cas pulled away from Dean and glared at his brother harshly.

"Oh, right," Virgil rolled his eyes and pulled himself to his feet. "Mr. Monogamy. Admirable of you. But you're probably missing out, both of them are pretty hot, and both of them are pretty into you, Cas. I'd capitalize on that in a second."

"I'm not into him," Dean growled. He looked over at Cas and added, "No offense. Not my type. No breasts."

Cas twitched his eyebrows in agreement. He was holding the towel around himself tightly, trying to hide as much of himself as possible. Dean could see the long, pale scars that decorated Cas's skin in the harsh light of the small hallway. They cut across his back and chest and sides, and wrapped around his arms and legs. Dean knew there were more on the soles of his feet and the palms of his hands. A belt had been Michael's punishment of choice, and he hit Cas hard enough to leave open wounds that scarred.

"Cute," Virgil sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Good thing you brought your guard dog, Cas. No telling how pissed Michael will be."

"Virgil."

Virgil froze and turned around to face the source of the voice. Michael was standing at the end of the hallway, arms crossed, a stern expression on his face. "Michael..."

Michael jerked his chin in the direction of the living room and Virgil complied at once, shooting a murderous look back at Cas before disappearing around the corner.

Cas moved closer to Dean and wished desperately that he was dressed, and not facing down his strict, homophobic brother in nothing but a tattered towel.

"Cas," Michael said matter of factly. "You decided to come."

"Yes," Cas replied at the same time Dean snapped, "He's here, isn't he?"

Michael ignored Dean and spoke to Cas, his voice and expression devoid of any emotion. "You can stay the night, but I want you gone in the morning. I don't want the younger ones around you."

"You believe I'll infect them?" Cas challenged Michael softly.

Michael glanced towards the living room. "How do you think you got to be the way you are. Cas? Because if you tell me the things you imagined Virgil did to you didn't make you this way, I won't believe you."

"I know he did them to me," Cas replied firmly. "You made me think I didn't, you made me feel so ashamed of myself...it wasn't my fault. None of it."

"You should be ashamed," Michael snapped, anger flashing through his eyes. "You're going to hell. You're damned, Cas, and you're doing nothing to stop it."

"I'm not going to hell," Cas shook his head. Dean could see he was shaking, and was silently amazed that Cas was finally standing up to his brother. "I have done nothing wrong. I fell in love."

"Don't you dare," Michael said lowly, warningly. His expression was dark and dangerous, and it made Dean want to push Cas behind him to protect him, but he knew Cas would kill him if he did. Cas needed the chance to speak up against Michael, to not let his brother rule over him anymore.

"What are you going to do?" Cas demanded, hitching up the towel around his waist. "Beat me? I'm not a kid anymore, Michael. You don't own me, and you can't treat me that way."

"I am your brother," Michael growled, moving quickly down the hall so he was standing face to face with Cas, lording over him and glaring harshly down at the smaller man. "The Winchester kid will not stop me from punishing you if I see fit. You can't come waltzing in and expect me to treat you like you deserve forgiveness. You left. You made your choice."

"I left because you beat me half to death!" Cas yelled, and Dean took a step towards him. Cas didn't yell. Dean had heard him yell maybe three times in his life, and it was always right before Cas lost it and got violent. "You left me to bleed to death on the living room floor. All of you did!"

"You're a plague!" Michael shouted back, crowding Cas against the wall. "The world would be a better place with you gone, you sick, disturbed whore!"

He raised a hand to strike Cas across the face. Dean moved to stop him, but needn't have worried.

Cas caught Michael's wrist before he could bring his hand down and forced Michael's hand back down. He shook his head, chest heaving, and growled lowly, "Never again, Michael. Never again."


"Dean-!" Cas yelped when Dean yanked him out the front door and down the porch steps. He stumbled after Dean as the bigger man pulled him deeper into the back yard. "What are you-?"

"What did you mean when you said what Virgil did to you?" Dean demanded, stopping and whirling around. He gripped Cas's elbows tightly and met his eyes steadily, his gaze angry and intense. Cas shook his head and looked away, unable to speak. "C'mon, Cas, talk to me."

"He just...I don't really remember a lot," Cas cleared his throat and swallowed hard. "I think I just...I just repressed most of it." Cas ran his hands through his hair and broke away from Dean. He turned to face the dark, bleak forest, his bright eyes peering at the tangled limbs. "He, uh...he used to come into my room at night and put his hand over my mouth. He...I remember him touching me, I remember he made me touch him..."

"I'll kill the fucking sonofabitch," Dean growled, his hands balling into fists. He'd always had the feeling Virgil had done something to Cas that had hurt the younger boy. He remembered when they were in high school and Cas had almost had a panic attack whenever someone touched his skin directly. Dean had known Michael hit him, but it seemed like whatever Cas was afraid of was more than just his oldest brother. He had avoided his house more than usual when Virgil was home, been horribly reluctant to leave the Winchester's house when Virgil was around, and it had set off alarms in Dean's head; Dean hadn't known what to do. He hadn't known how to ask Cas if it was happening; he'd been terrified of the answer.

"No, Dean, stop," Cas reached out and gripped Dean's wrist tightly, stopping Dean from storming back into the house. "Don't say anything to anyone about it. It's over now. You'll just upset Michael."

"Michael should have done something about it!" Dean snapped. Cas kept a cautious grip on Dean's arm in case Dean decided to bolt and burst into the house, guns blazing. "He obviously knew!"

"He didn't believe me," Cas shook his head and scrubbed his mouth with his hand. "I told him. When I was fourteen, I told him what Virgil was doing. He told me to stop making things up for attention. That I was sick to think like that. He locked me outside in the doghouse for the night."

Dean's lip curled at the mention of the doghouse. "That's sick, Cas. That's wrong."

"I know," Cas rubbed his eyes and hunched his shoulders, crossing his arms against the cold air. "I thought I was going to die out there. That was the time you found me out there, remember?"


"Michael?" Castiel hovered in the doorway to Michael's room, tugging nervously at the hem of his sweater. Michael was hunched over his desk, making notes in the margin of his well worn Bible. He glanced up when he saw Castiel and waved him in.

Castiel shut the door behind him. Michael heard the door close and looked up, his interest piqued. "What is it, Castiel?"

"I have to tell you something," Castiel said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He sounded like he was about to cry. "Promise you won't be mad."

Michael narrowed his eyes at Castiel suspiciously. Castiel hadn't spoken so informally since he was very young. "What's wrong?"

"Virgil..." Castiel began hesitantly, his voice catching and breaking. "He, uh, he...he comes into my room at night."

"And?" Michael raised an eyebrow. He didn't have time for any of Castiel's sensitivity today. If Virgil was wandering the house at night, Cas would have to get over it. Michael couldn't help it if Castiel was a light sleeper.

Castiel dropped his gaze to the floor and wrung his hands. "He...he touches me."

"I don't understand," Michael replied blankly.

"He, umm, like..." Castiel blushed and glanced down at his crotch before looking back up. "Touches me in a way a brother shouldn't."

Michael stood up, his Bible lying forgotten on the desk. "I think I misunderstand, Castiel."

"Please, make him stop," Cas's voice cracked and he ducked his head to hide his tears. "I don't like it."

"Then why are you imagining it, Castiel?" Michael demanded. "If you don't like it, then why is your sick brain coming up with fantasies about your brother?"

"I'm not imagining it," Castiel looked up, surprised. "He does does do it. I know he does."

"This is your brother you're talking about, Castiel," Michael said sharply. "It's wrong of you to think of him that way. Don't speak of this again."

"He's hurting me," Castiel insisted desperately, confused. He just wanted Michael to make Virgil stop. All it would take was one word from Michael to scare Virgil into leaving Castiel alone. "I just want him to leave me alone. He's molest-"

Castiel was cut off when Michael hit him across the face, hard. He stumbled to the side from the force of the blow, and would have fallen if Michael hadn't caught him by his collar and yanked him back up. "Michael-!"

"Keep your mouth shut, Castiel," Michael commanded, digging his fingers into the back of Castiel's neck hard enough to leave bruises. "I don't want to hear another word."

Castiel whimpered as Michael yanked him from the room and dragged him down the hallway towards the front door. Michael slammed him against the door frame, hard. "Stand right here."

Michael disappeared into Balthazar's room to find a belt. He grabbed Balthazar's thin leather belt from his bed frame and returned to the hallway. Castiel was still cowering against the doorframe, clutching his ribs. He knew better than to try and run.

Michael grabbed the front of his shirt and shoved Castiel through the front door.

Castiel saw where they were going and balked, digging his heels into the ground. "Michael, no, please, I'm sorry..."

"You should be ashamed, Castiel," Michael forced Castiel to his knees next to the small, ramshackle wooden doghouse. Their dog had died at age 13 years ago. Since then, his doghouse served a different purpose. "You should hate yourself for thinking like that."

"I'm sorry, please, please, Michael..." Castiel begged softly, covering his head with his hands. He didn't fight as Michael peeled off Castiel's sweater and t-shirt.

"Did you make this up for my attention, Castiel?" Michael folded the belt in half in his right hand.

"No!" Cas insisted. "I promise, I didn't, I wouldn't..."

Michael brought the belt down across Cas's back. It cut into his skin with the sound of a dull crack. Castiel flinched and curled forward, digging his fingers into the frozen ground. Michael brought the belt down again on Cas's exposed back.

"Did you make this up for my attention?" Michael asked again. His hand was yanking at Cas's hair to keep the younger boy in place. "Yes or no, Castiel?"

"No," Cas breathed, tears coursing down his cheeks. "He did it, he touched me, I know it was real..."

Michael hit him again. And again. And again and again and again. He brought the belt down on Castiel's vulnerable, shaking body until Cas's arms were too weak to hold himself up and he collapsed face first into the dirt. Michael's hand pulled roughly at his hair and forced him to hold himself up again.

He beat Castiel until he was bleeding and crying and begging Michael to stop, gasping that yes, he was lying, he just wanted Michael's attention, that he made it up.

Michael dropped the belt and took a few deep breaths, chest heaving with exertion. He looked down at Cas, disgust written on his features as he took in Cas's beaten, shaking body. "Pray, Castiel. Maybe God can forgive you."

Michael picked up the dirty dog collar attached to the chain on the doghouse. He secured it tightly around Castiel's pale throat. Cas's fingers clawed at the rough fabric weakly.

Cas wasn't sure how long Michael left him out there. He huddled in the corner of the small, drafty structure, shivering hard.

"Cas, baby, it's alright."

Castiel felt a soft hand on his upper arm and moved closer to the source of the soft voice. He rubbed his eyes on his arm roughly and strained his eyes to make out a woman kneeling next to him, softly stroking his hair. She smiled gently at him and tucked his dark hair behind his ear. "I'm sorry, honey. You don't deserve this. I love you."

Cas hunched over further, pressing his face into his arms. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and tried to turn away from her. "No, no, you're not real..."

"Of course I am, sweetheart," his mother lightly traced Cas's cheek with her fingers, trying to coax him into looking at her. "I'm right here. I won't let him hurt you again."

"No, no, no, no, no..." Cas moaned softly, trying to push himself further into the corner the small doghouse, desperate to get away from the wispy, feather-light touches of his mother's fingers. "Please, please, just go away..."

"I know you're scared, baby boy," she whispered, rubbing his hair soothingly with her slim fingers. "I know it's hard. You're different. Michael is afraid for you. He just doesn't want the family to fall apart."

Cas shook his head and refused to look up, shrinking away from her, will her to leave, but simultaneously craving the comfort his mom offered. "Mommy..."

"Stay strong, honey," she kissed his forehead, brushing his tangled hair back. "I love you."

After a few minutes, Cas worked up the courage to look up and found that she had disappeared. He let out a long breath that caught in his throat. He swallowed hard, attempting to dissolve the lump in his throat.

He flinched when he heard footsteps approaching, afraid she was coming back, and relaxed marginally when Balthazar poked his head inside. Balthazar gave Cas a quick once over, concern shining in his eyes. "I snuck you out some food."

Cas took the thick slice of bread gratefully and broke off a portion of it for now. The rest he would save. No telling how long he'd be out there.

"You're practically blue," Balthazar slid into the doghouse and rubbed Cas's arms roughly, trying to work some heat back into the frozen skin. "I'm sorry."

Cas shook his head, his teeth chattering too hard for him to respond.

"Balthazar!" Michael bellowed from the front porch. "If you're out with Cas, you'll be spending the night in the basement!"

Balthazar let go of Cas and backed out of the doghouse. He looked torn. "I'm so sorry, Cas."

Cas heard him walk towards the house, telling Michael not to get his panites in a twist, that he just went outside to get something from his car.

Cas must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing he knew, someone was pulling him bodily out of the doghouse and fumbling with the collar. None of his brothers cursed like that, so when Cas managed to force his eyes open, he was unsurprised to see Dean.

"Good, Cas, that's good, keep your eyes open," Dean commanded softly, freeing Cas from the collar and wrapping him in his leather jacket. Cas's skin was ice cold, and his pulse was sluggish. Dean lifted Cas easily in his arms and started towards the his truck. Cas wasn't even shivering anymore.

"God, Cas, he did this to you?" Dean muttered. Cas blinked slowly at him and tried to speak, but his lips wouldn't form the words he wanted.

"You'll be alright," Dean promised him fiercely. "Don't talk, just focus on staying awake."

Sam got out of the car when he saw Dean carrying Cas to the car. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's been outside," Dean said through gritted teeth. "Sit in the back with him, Sam. He needs to get warm."

"He needs a hospital," Sam argued, pulling the back door open. He pulled the back seat down from where it was folded against the back of the cab. Dean laid Cas down on the stained, worn fabric. Cas immediately curled up into a small ball, trying to conserve what little body heat he had left. Sam climbed into the small space after him and didn't hesitate in wrapping himself around Cas's shuddering body. Cas snuggled instinctively into Sam's warm body, pushing insistently against Sam. Sam wrapped his arms around Cas and held him tightly, rubbing his arms soothingly. Cas's back was torn up, bleeding and scabbed and caked with dirt.

Dean turned the car on and cranked the heat up as high as it would go. "They don't believe in hospitals. You know that."

"Well, we do!" Sam snapped, alarmed by how cold Cas was. His icy toes forced their way between Sam's calves. "He's freezing , Dean, and look at his back."

"We'll take him home and figure it out," Dean promised, glancing back at his best friend wrapped in his brother's arms, trying to glean some heat from Sam's body. "He'll be alright."


"Sonofabitch," Dean cursed under his breath, looking away from Cas and rubbing his forehead. "Cas..."

Cas shook his head and held up a hand, silently commanding Dean to stop. Cas's eyes were squeezed shut tightly and he was completely focused on keeping his breathing steady so he didn't launch into a panic attack. That would be all he needed right then.

After a few moments, Cas opened his eyes and turned to face Dean, meeting his gaze steadily. "It is not your fault. It is not my fault. Let's not dwell on it."

Dean raised an eyebrow and shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Okay."

"Okay?" Cas crossed his arms and quirked a dark brow at Dean so he was mirroring the other man's expression. "Just okay? You're going to let it drop?"

"I'm not Sam," Dean pointed out, rolling his eyes. "I'm not going to make you...talk about it, or whatever. I just thought I'd give you the option."

Cas's lips edged into a small smile, something he thought he'd forgotten how to do. He grinned softly at Dean, suddenly incredibly grateful for a best friend that was as emotionally awkward as he was. Dean shifted uncomfortably under Cas's smile.

He cleared his throat. "Cas, cut it out. Don't give your family any more ammunition about how we're deeply in love."

"The mere thought of that sickens me," Cas deadpanned, starting back towards the house.

He heard Dean's rushed footsteps as the man hurried to catch up with him. "Hey! You'd be lucky to have me, Castiel Novak! You'd have to beat off all the other men to keep them away from me!"


So there it is! I hope you guys liked it.

Let me know what you think! The last chapter didn't get much of a response, so it'd be good to get some feedback. I really appreciate it if you have a second. Thanks!

Thanks for reading!