A/N: It's not every night that one-shot story ideas appear in my dreams. So when this one did, I knew I should seize the opportunity and write it down!

Readers of my main work, The Worst Mission In Kuchiki Taichou's Life, rest assured that I'm working on the new chapter for that story. This one was written both to brush up my writing skills after a break, and to get the sudden inspiration out of my system. Let me know how you like it!

WARNING:

This is an AU one-shot story with Bleach characters, don't read if you don't like RenRuki although that is not the main pairing – so you should also not read it if you don't like yaoi pairings!

I do not own Bleach or its characters!

Mean

The quiet peaceful morning at the seaside vacation house of the Kuchiki family was disrupted by a grumbling mass of energy pounding down the stairs and storming into the kitchen, temper as aflame as his brilliant orange hair.

"He's so mean!" Yelled Kurosaki Ichigo, his sudden noisy entrance startling Rukia and Renji who were at the kitchen counter. "What's his problem? I can't stand him!"

Renji and Rukia exchanged knowing looks.

"Well, someone is in a bad mood this morning." Renji said, after a bad attempt at pretending to clear his throat.

"No shit, pineapple head." Ichigo retorted angrily.

With a sigh, Renji went back to slicing fruit on the kitchen counter. So much for his quiet morning making breakfast. In fact, so much for his quiet holiday with his new fiancée. He had finally summoned up the courage last month to propose to Rukia, and happily engaged, they were spending the summer vacation at the seaside. Of course, not without company. He wondered why he had agreed to Rukia's idea that the more would be the merrier as far as the summer vacation was concerned. They were staying at the luxurious vacation house of the very rich Kuchiki family he was engaged into now, and he didn't think it would be appropriate to protest that Rukia wanted to bring along her family and friends.

"Argh!" Ichigo let out another howl of frustration as he hit the first surface he found with his fist in order to let off some steam – the surface being the fridge door, and Ichigo forgetting that he had walked there to take out a bottle of milk. "I don't get what his problem is! He needs to have the crap beaten out of him!"

A few relatively silent moments followed as Ichigo leaned forward with his hands on the fridge door, trying to contain his rage but still spewing like a volcano.

Rukia glanced at Renji and back at Ichigo.

"Did you and Nii-sama fight again?" She asked knowingly and cautiously.

"Yeah, we did!" Ichigo took out some more anger with his fist on the fridge door, his back still to his friends. "I don't know how you can tolerate that brother of yours, Rukia! He's such a jackass. A cold hearted arrogant bastard!"

Rukia's "You shouldn't talk about Nii-sama like that" was muffled as Renji hurriedly shoved a piece of fruit into her mouth to silence her.

It did not go unheard though. Ichigo let out another angry tirade.

"Really? I'll talk about him any way I want."

Ichigo paused to exhale, panting angrily.

"He is so mean!"

"Who is mean?" The deep, calm, no-nonsense voice of Kuchiki Byakuya sounded from the kitchen door.

Everyone inside the kitchen froze.

Kuchiki Byakuya's cold attitude itself was enough to freeze people, but this situation was dangerous enough on its own.

Renji and Rukia wondered whether to pick up some pots and pans to use as shields to protect themselves from what was to follow. They backed away slowly from the kitchen counter without realizing it.

Ichigo had gone very still, his hands still on the fridge door, as he was suddenly aware of the chill that the person he had been angrily shouting about had brought in with him. If it isn't the cold hearted bastard himself... Ichigo felt himself getting angrier. So, no one else had the guts to tell Kuchiki Byakuya on his face if his arrogant attitude and icy behaviour pissed them off. But he was Kurosaki Ichigo. He was going to tell Byakuya exactly what he thought of him.

"You are!" Ichigo growled loudly, shaking with anger.

Rukia and Renji exchanged looks of fearful alarm. This was bad! Byakuya was walking up to Ichigo who was still facing the fridge.

He now stood, in all his classy sophisticated grace, long black hair in perfect place around his expressionless pale face, eyes narrowed as he looked at the orange haired Ichigo who was erupting with angry, insolent words about him.

His words were calm and collected, belying what the other three were sure was pure dangerous rage. "You think that I am mean?"

He walked forward, cornering Ichigo into the fridge door.

Suddenly, he put his arms on either side of Ichigo, trapping him there.

"You did not seem to think so last night." He added, slightly lowering his voice.

Ichigo froze. This was unexpected.

What was even more unexpected was Byakuya's arms wrapping around him, suddenly pulling him so that his back was against the warm body of his cold arrogant lover. Ichigo's eyes went wide. Byakuya's strong arms held him, and the whiff of his cologne was already muddling his senses.

And then, Byakuya was kissing his jawline! Sweet gentle kisses from those beautiful lips, starting at the angle of his jaw and reaching towards his chin.

For a second, Ichigo's eyes fluttered shut at the amazing feeling.

Then he jumped straight out of Byakuya's arms, turning around to face the stoic gorgeous man, outraged!

"Byakuya! What the hell are you doing?" Ichigo's eyes were round as saucers and his face completely red, though his fingers were on the part of his face where Byakuya had just kissed him.

"I am proving that your allegations about me were untrue." The typical formal words smoothly rolled out from the mouth of the young aristocratic head of the Kuchiki family. He pretty much owned anything and everything. He was used to owning. He handled his money and success with as much skill and expertise, and complete lack of expression, as he had just handled the aftermath of his morning altercation with his lover Kurosaki Ichigo.

There was, however, a hint of a mischievous smile on his perfect lips.

"Are you crazy? They're here!" Still stunned, Ichigo pointed to Rukia and Renji.

"So? They're adults. They know about us." Byakuya stated with his deadpan.

Ichigo opened his mouth, and shut it again. He was at a loss for words, both at Byakuya's public display of affection in front of his family, and at the icy logical nonchalance with which he had just explained it.

Rukia and Renji were standing like statues sculpted in expressions of absolute shock. Of course, they knew Rukia's brother and Renji's boss, the unfaltering image of pride and ruthless perfection that was the clan leader and business mogul Kuchiki Byakuya, was in a very passionate relationship with their friend Kurosaki Ichigo. They knew that their frequent fights were almost as fiery as their passion, an unavoidable reaction of their contrasting attitudes. They knew all of that.

But never, in their lives had they expected Kuchiki Byakuya to hug and kiss his boyfriend after the latter had thrown a tantrum about his attitude, in their presence! And follow it up with his almost non-existent smug smirk.

Rukia, of course, was the first to recover with her very Kuchiki trait of being able to calmly act as though nothing happened. Renji followed closely, having some experience over his years of working under Byakuya and knowing that there were strange quirks behind the placid mask the man wore.

"Right, let's get breakfast started! Renji's cooking for us today." Rukia exclaimed, her voice more shrill and loud than necessary.

"Yeah, let's dig in!" Renji added cheerfully, setting down the plates.

Byakuya gently pushed the still stunned Ichigo towards a seat at the dining table, sitting down next to him, and saying, "Certainly. It would be mean to decline that offer."