The Worst Delinquent in Tokyo

A delinquent AU

"What," Hyuuga asks the universe in general and Izuki in particular, "the hell are we doing."

Hyuuga has done some pretty dumb things in his life, but prior to today, he could have told you that the single dumbest thing he's ever done was deciding, when he was twelve, that picking up basketball was a good idea.

Worst idea of his life. Destroyer of his middle school years.

But that was half an hour ago. A lot can change in half an hour, Hyuuga is realising now.

For example, you can notice that shady-looking characters are hanging around outside your school. You can notice that they're talking to Kiyoshi Teppei, the super annoying guy from the next class who hasn't stopped bugging you since you made the mistake of bumping into him. You can notice that Kiyoshi, like a total moron, is obediently following shady-looking characters who are definitely really delinquents.

And then you can decide, in a fit of suicidal stupidity, to follow them.

Now Hyuuga and Izuki are hiding in the back of a deserted warehouse, watching with disbelief as a whole gang surrounds Kiyoshi. They're wearing the uniform of some school Hyuuga doesn't recognise, covered in tattoos and piercings, armed with cigarettes. A couple of them are holding baseball bats. This looks exactly like a scene out of a shitty gangster movie. They're all going to die.

"Calling... the…. police?" Izuki says slowly. "I think... we need... to call the police..."

"Then start calling!" he hisses back. Izuki yanks his phone out of his pocket and starts dialing.

They're too far away to catch most of the conversation, but the gang seems to think Kiyoshi is some guy they call "Iron Heart". They keep pointing at him and shouting about revenge and all the things they're going to do to make him sorry. Big words, when there's eleven of them to one of him. But Kiyoshi isn't arguing. He stands there like it's totally normal to be cornered in empty warehouses by yakuza wannabes, and something in his stance, the line of his shoulders, suggests polite disinterest, like he's actually bored by this.

Izuki is whispering the warehouse's address into his phone when the gang finally realises their threats aren't working. Someone gives the signal and they attack all at once, throwing themselves at Kiyoshi.

"Shit!"

The problem with stupid decisions is that they never come alone. First you decide to join the basketball team - then you decide that you need to be good at it. Then you work at it, and keep working because you're too dumb to admit how useless it is. By the time you realise how stupid you've been, three years are gone - and by the time you decide to quit? Even that's stupid too. You can't win.

In a grand culmination of all the dumbest things he's ever done with his life, Hyuuga lurches to his feet and charges with an angry yell.

He doesn't have to look back to know Izuki is right behind him. They plunge into battle, fists flailing, and Hyuuga catches a glimpse of Kiyoshi gaping at them right before someone elbows him in the side. Things go rapidly downhill from there and he's pretty sure that they'll be long dead by the time help arrives, when a shrill whistle pierces the air.

A girl's voice (he knows that voice) shouts, "Police! They're over here! Quick, catch them before they run! Police!"

Someone in the gang swears. "Fuck! The fuzz is here! Run!"

They run, and keep running until Kiyoshi thinks they're far enough to be safe (from the gang or the police?) and lets them stop under a flyover.

Hyuuga collapses on the ground in a heap, Izuki beside him. For a moment, they lie there and wheeze like they're going to die. Izuki has a black eye. Hyuuga hurts all over, blood is trickling from his cut lip all over his shirt, and yet somehow, his glasses have survived miraculously intact.

Kiyoshi looks down at them, expression baffled and says, "What were the two of you doing there?"

"You're asking us?" Hyuuga says, incredulous. "Why the hell did you even go with them?!"

A girl's voice, the same voice that shouted for the police, says, "That's because they're from Ishiyama High, right? Did they threaten to target Seirin students if you didn't come?"

Hyuuga sits back up with a lurch. "Riko!"

She folds her arms and glares down at them. "Do you know what would have happened if I hadn't done that?" she demands.

"We'd be dead," Izuki admits, and huffs a relieved laugh up at her. "Thanks."

"How'd you even find us?!"

She rolls her eyes. "The same way you did, obviously," she says, jerking a thumb in Kiyoshi's direction. "I saw those lowlifes hanging around and was going to tell a teacher, but then I saw you guys following him and thought I'd better come and make sure you weren't in trouble."

"Ha. Haha. Thanks," Kiyoshi says and smiles at her, already back to his affably cheerful school self, like he wasn't throwing punches like a pro just ten minutes ago. Eleven to one are cowardly odds to pull, but after seeing the way Kiyoshi fights, Hyuuga's not surprised the gang hedged their bets with numbers like that.

"Guess going straight isn't as easy as I thought it'd be," Kiyoshi adds and looks incongruously sheepish about it.

Now that he can breathe again, Hyuuga's brain finally puts the pieces together. It's a horrifying picture. "You're a delinquent," he says. "They were calling you Iron Heart. You have a nickname. You're a famous delinquent. Did you even need our help back there?!"

"Oh. That name," Kiyoshi says. "They just came up with that on their own. It doesn't mean anything! I would definitely be in trouble if it wasn't for you guys!"

"Do you really expect us to believe that?! We were the ones in trouble back there!"

"You're not much of a fighter, are you?" Kiyoshi observes. "Is that why you went straight? It's nothing to be embarrassed about, I was really glad to see I wasn't the only one in Seirin!"

Hyuuga's jaw drops and stays there. Riko and Izuki blink at Kiyoshi, then turn to look at each other. On cue, they start laughing so hard that Izuki has to lie back down and Riko doubles over to clutch her sides. In between their howls of mirth:

"Went.. straight…." "Not... much… of a fighter…." "Embarrassed!" "Worst... delinquent... ever!"

Kiyoshi blinks. Hyuuga yells, to no effect whatsoever, "Shut up! Stop laughing!"

Next time, Hyuuga promises himself. The gangsters want him? They can have him. Next time, he's going to just leave this asshole there to die.

"Hey," Kiyoshi says one week later. "Izuki says you guys used to play basketball together. Why don't you teach me? I've never played before, but it sounds fun."

Hyuuga slowly swivels his head to stare Izuki, sitting beside him looking innocent, in the eye. Izuki smiles like he hasn't just betrayed four years of friendship in one fell, unforgivable, blow.

"Well, you cut your hair and dyed it back," he says, like that has anything to do with anything. It's not like running into real delinquents made Hyuuga decide that maybe he didn't want to be a delinquent after all, okay? And even if it did, it doesn't mean he's going back to basketball!

"We can start a club!" Kiyoshi suggests, beaming.

Hyuuga Junpei hates his life.

end