And Immortality

Wherein Daniel finally accepts eternal life... and gets attacked by a Wraith. Um. Well, they don't have to worry about feeding Todd anymore? Also, Death gives up.

"Huh," said Sheppard. "You don't look any older."

"I'm immortal. Was immortal, anyway."

"Ah." Sheppard looked at the unrepentant Wraith, currently being threatened by a half-dozen guards. "That would have explained the glowing, then."

"Yeah."

"Does that mean Todd's immortal, now?"

"Maybe just eternally full?"

"When Wraith feed, they regenerate."

"Huh. Suppose so then. Is that bad?"

"Well... if he doesn't need to feed, I suppose he's not a threat, necessarily." Sheppard considered. "If needed, we could probably just lop off his limbs and hide the bits, so it should be fine."

"Oh. Good."

"But now you aren't immortal," Sheppard pointed out, feeling this point should be stressed.

"Cameron might disagree," Daniel explained, shrugging. "It's sorta debatable."

"This job is so weird."

"Maybe I should call Death and tell him about this," Daniel mused.

"...And just got weirder."

"It's a long story."

"Isn't everything around here?" Sheppard shook his head. "I'm going to find Rodney... He's going to want to experiment on you, you know," he told Todd.

Todd gave Sheppard a dirty look, but a half-hearted one. He seemed somewhat smug, still, about his newfound immortality.

Daniel debated the morality of pointing out that Todd could now be a prisoner indefinitely, and decided against it.

He hoped no one tried to accuse Todd of attacking Daniel (although, seriously, it would be a little interesting if they tried - they could hardly kill him). Daniel had been the one to suggest - only to Todd, in private - that the Wraith try feeding from him. After all, it seemed a simple solution, right? He was immortal, so Todd wouldn't actually be draining him. Daniel thought of himself as sort of an undrainable life-battery. Apparently, it didn't quite work that way, and Daniel's extra years (i.e., Eternity) had shifted to Todd.

At least he wasn't glowing anymore.

In the interest of courtesy, Daniel thought it best to contact Death. This is, however, easier said than done; therefore it is quite fortunate that Death appeared independantly before that particular issue even needed to be tackled.

Daniel was in the commissary when Death visited again. He firmly decided that feeding Wraith, much like giving blood, left one in dire need of copious amounts of sugar to recuperate. Also, the mess was serving apple pie and blue jello today, which was really a delightful combination.

Death took one look at Daniel and promptly flung up his hands.

"I GIVE UP!" He screamed. The commisary went silent. "FINE! YOU WIN! YOU WIN, DAMMIT! SEE IF I CARE IF HE DIES A THOUSAND TIMES OVER, I WASH MY HANDS OF IT!"

And he vanished.

There was a quiet inquiry from an airman at the door; Daniel confirmed that there was no imminent threat. Noise resumed, casually.

There were out of blue jello. Dammit.