Chapter 19

I can't manage a conscious thought until I hear Katniss asking me a question over and over. She looks desperate, so I concentrate hard on her words-for her, for my siblings, for my parents. I can't let them down now.

"Are there more?"

No, I think, no, just him.

It takes me a moment to realize she can't hear me unless I speak my thoughts aloud.

"No," I'm frustrated that even I can't hear my words. "No," I try again, only a little louder. I draw in a large, painful, breath and try to scream the words knowing they will be loud enough for her to hear. "No."

She hears this and drops to my side. She looks distraught, and if breathing didn't hurt so much I would tell her it was ok. I expected this.

For the first time I realize that Katniss had killed Marvel. I can't help but pity him-the poor child forced to kill me in a failed attempt to prolong his own life. Unfortunately for him he chose a target with a killer ally. I'm not happy that Katniss had to kill him for my benefit either.

She cuts the net off me, making it marginally easier to breathe. She doesn't try to tell me I'm ok, and I'm grateful to her for that. No point in giving someone who's dying false hope-and I'd rather not be lied to on my death bead.

She kneels beside me, staying with me till the end. I reach for her hand and she grabs mine tightly, as if she's trying to hold the life in my body. It's a futile attempt.

"You blew up the food?" I have to be sure.

"Every last bit." She confirms, tears in her eyes.

"You have to win." I inform her, knowing she will. I've had faith in her from the first time I saw her. She will win-for Primrose, and now, for me.

"I'm going to. Going to win for both of us now." She tells me soothingly, and I know this is the truth, not an empty promise. She will win for me.

I hear the cannon of the boy from 1 and I see her tense up. I'm worried she'll leave for a second and I beg pitifully, "Don't go."

"Course not." Her dismissal of leaving makes me feel bad-she'd never leave me like this. "Staying right here." She pulls my head into her lap and tucks my hair behind my ear. It's hard to feel anything other than the pain in my stomach right now. It's getting harder to breath and form words.

She looks at me, tears in her eyes, and I know she want to do something for me. She needs to feel helpful, or at least feel like she's easing my pain in this moment. I think of something that I want, right here, in this moment, as I'm dying: music.

Katniss can give me that. I breathe in deeply, ignoring the pain that spasms in my torso-she needs to hear my request. "Sing?" It's a plea.

If I'm dying I want to hear her voice singing to me. Leading me out of this terrible world forever.

She looks at me, confused but willing to carry out my request. As she thinks of a song to sing to me I allow my thoughts to wander to my family-most likely for the last time.

I picture Prine's face when she got her seventh birthday surprise. I see Flux and Magnus's reaction to their new bedroom-they were ecstatic despite the lack of space. I see my mothers face when she told us all she was pregnant with Pleione. My father's content expression every morning when he drank his tea. Pleione's face as she tells me goodbye, and promises me she won't ask our mother and father when I'll be home. And finally Marope when she smiles at me after school each day.

I'm sorry, I think. Sorry I didn't do anything special in these games. Sorry I let you down. Sorry I'm leaving you. Sorry I can't be there for you anymore. I'm so, so sorry. I let a tear roll down my cheek, as I think of them one more time. Please be ok without me.

And then Katniss begins to sing. Her voice is hindered by the tears she's holding back, but it's clear and beautiful. I'm glad she's here, staying with me as the life drains out of my body.

Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise.

I listen to her words and think about how beautiful they are. I want to be in that place, in that meadow where everything is beautiful, peaceful and perfect. It's like that place I told Prine I was going to. The place that was full of love, music, food, and joy. That place that's so much better than here, where we condone tossing children into an arena with other children for a death match.

I want to be there.

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

I love you too, I think though she doesn't know. I have so much faith in you; You're going to win. I look at her face, committing every detail of it to memory, fighting to keep my eyelids from shutting-I know that when they do I will be unable to reopen them.

I take in my surroundings. I force myself to remember the color of sunlight as it filters through the leaves. It's a beautiful color-one of my favorites. I see a mockingjay too. Just perched on a branch simply, as if there was nothing wrong with the world. I notice-with a start, that this bird is completely silent. I know it can her Katniss's song, but it's waiting for her to finish before it sings. Because her voice is that beautiful.

When she sings, even the birds stop to listen. With that thought my heavy eyelids flutter shut, and as I'd suspected I can't open them again. Each breath sends a shooting pain into my stomach and I start to gasp for breath. But I can't go yet; I have to hear the end of Katniss's song.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away

A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray

Forget your woes and let your troubles lay

And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.

Her voice is starting to fade away, but I'm fighting to stay alive. I breath deeper, ignoring the pain, because I want her to finish the song. My heart is slowing down and I know I can't fight much longer.

Katniss gives me a little more strength when I feel her tears fall onto my face. I know she would want me to hear the song-so I fight for her. I fight for all the oppressed citizens in Panem, because if I can hold on, I will die in my own small way, a rebel. Someone who decided to fight back against the pull of death-the relief that death would bring. I know that giving up would make the pain go away, but at this point I owe it to Katniss and my family to hang on. I need to fight for this. Fight for this song.

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

I can hardly hear her last words, but it's not because I'm not trying. It's because her emotions are getting to her. I want to tell her it's ok, that I'm ok. I'm not afraid.

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

I let the air leave my lungs. There, I think, her song is over. I can stop fighting now. And everything, the pain, the sadness, fades to white.

Wow. You won't believe how hard that was to write. I hope it seems like a fitting end to Rue's story. And I hope you really love it. Let me know what you think. And I'm so sorry about the mix up. Apparently Chapter 17 was posted as "The End". Thanks for all your support. This, being my first ever fanfiction, truly was a joy to write-despite all the sorrow.

Thank you,

R&R