Harry was so nervous. He was about to tell his best friends that he was gay, and that doesn't happen every day. He'd been seeing, okay, screwing around, with Draco Malfoy for the last year and he just had to tell his friends. Wait- not that he was screwing around with Malfoy, just the gay part.

"Guys... I have something to tell you." Harry said to all his friends at the table which consisted of Hermione and Ginny to his left and Ron and Neville sitting in front of him.

"What?" Ron asked.

"Well... I'm gay."

There were four pairs of both shocked and nervous eyes looking back at him.

"It's fine, Harry. I'm, "Hermione took a deep breath, "I'm a lesbian. I'm dating Hannah Abbot."

"Really? Me too!" Ginny said, "I've been dating the Patil twins since second year."

Ron looked shocked and said, "Wow, we'll, I'm gay. Neville and I've been dating for ages."

Neville just smiled and nodded.

"Wait- so, your all gay? Well, snap." Harry said, "Even you?" Harry asked Fred and George.

"Ever heard of 'twincest', Harry?" Fred said with a crude smirk.

"Uh..." This was surreal. Everyone Harry knew was gay. He suddenly got up and had an idea, he had to be quick though. He ran to the kitchens and poured some veriterserum into all the cups and sent them up to everyone up stairs. When he got back, he was glad to see everyone was taking at least sips from their cups.

"Okay!" Harry shouted, "I need anyone who is gay, bisexual or a lesbian to raise your hand!"

And everyone raised their hand. Harry turned to the head table and saw that all the teachers had raised hands as well.

"It seems," Dumbledore said, "That Mr. Potter has discovered the little secret of Hogwarts. This school," He said getting up and standing before all the students,"is a school for wizards who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Yes, I know, you all have gay parents." He said.

"But... I thought she was a friend!"

"Dad said that he was our long lost uncle!"

"I knew my mom looked a little strange..."

Everyone couldn't stop talking, everyone's secret was out now, all at once.

"I've been courting Olivander for decades." Dumbledore said to people nearest.

Professor Snape suddenly got up form his seat and walked over to Hagrid, placing his arm around his big broad shoulders.

"Hagrid and I have been dating since I was in fifth year in Hogwarts." He announced before leaning down and kissing Hagrid's mouth, or rather, the top of his beard.

Madam Pomfrey giggled and went over to Professor McGonagal, sitting in her lap and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Crabbe and Goyle stuffed a waffle affectionately into each others mouth.

Ginny ran out of the room, the Patil twins at her heels.

"I'm trisexual, actually." Filch said, leaning against a wall, "Men. Women... Cats."

Lavender Brown could be heard telling of how she'd somehow gotten to third base with Moaning Myrtle.

Apparently, there was a seventh year who was a polygamist. He had three boyfriends including Oliver Wood.