And they lived happily ever after…

You, as well as anyone, know this doesn't happen in real life. Mice don't sew dresses, a kiss can't bring you back to life, a mermaid isn't going to grow legs.

Then again the last year has felt like fantasy. Impossible things have happened to me. Gods and monsters and heroes have become real life, jumped right out of books and myths. I told you I had mommy issues, but you can't know just how deep the wounds go. I have done things I may never be able to forgive myself for. You'll understand this better when you've read my manuscript.

It's funny how much your life can change so much that you don't even recognize your own voice, while the world turns as it always has, unseeing and uncaring.

The person I though I knew died in Aspen.

I was like an old dirty attic on the inside, and while I thought I was pretty normal looking on the outside, the rust and mold were showing through. In Aspen, all the rubbish in my life was taken to the dump. I lost everything I thought had been important. The cobwebs and mouse shit were swept up. The walls were whitewashed and the floors scrubbed clean, leaving me completely empty.

In a good way.

It's quiet in my mind, finally, but not lonely. You and the guys have been more than lifesavers with your support and friendship. I wouldn't have survived the first couple of weeks, with Walter's funeral, and wrapping up my life in Aspen and all it's loose strings. Who knew there is so much paperwork to go though when you are the last responsible one in your earthly family?

The quiet in my mind isn't isolation, it's peace. I am ready to start filling up my life again, painting the walls and putting in furniture and rugs. (You know how much I like my metaphors. Stop laughing.)

I would have told you everything you don't already know long ago; you have become my best friend and you deserve to know it all, even the darkest parts of my life. I have trouble saying things out loud. I couldn't even talk to a shrink. Bruce told me to write it all down, so I did. It really helped; I found I could write things that I dared not say. And now I am giving it to you to keep, to read, to use as kindling, to put in a box to collect dust, or whatever.

I trust you more than anyone to keep my story. When you showed up on my doorstep demanding I return that late library book I knew right then you needed to be in my life. Remember how Steve was standing right behind me? Of course you recognized him instantly and nearly peed yourself fangirling, hahaha. You really scared him, you know, the poor guy.

I got you your position at SHEILD (yes, yes, you are welcome, you can really stop thanking me, it's been months) because I needed you close. You are full of life and wisdom and bravery. I really don't have friends, not since school. The last person I called friend is gone and he will haunt me forever. I have the guys, yes, but they are superheroes and can't be trusted to do normal-person things without causing a huge embarrassing scene. Take, for instance, the time we took Steve, Coulson, Clint, and Natasha out dancing for a triple date. That was a disaster. A crazy fun disaster, but a disaster nonetheless.

Speaking of which, I still don't get you and Coulson. Sorry, I mean Phill. He's kind of old for you, and so tame compared to the last two guys. He did mention to me once that he had a tattoo and I am counting on you to tell me exactly where and what it is when you find it. Anyway, it's your choice and he really is a good guy. I'm sure he had a good sense of humor and holds the door open for you and other… great qualities.

Thank you for all you have done for me these past few months. I have one more thing to ask: forgive me.

I am not running away from my problems, I swear. (Shut up and stop shouting and just listen to me.) Just because I have had a rough year or so, and just because I am pregnant (and you swore you wouldn't tell him, you swore) doesn't mean I'm running. I am brave now, braver than I have ever been. I have lost my anxiety and panic attacks (just this is enough to make me cry from relief) and I feel I can finally hold my head up high.

I have to do this. In eight months I am going to have a family of my own. I need to go to see my family, my real family. I need know what a mother is supposed to be like, to see real love. I am going to Asgard and I don't know when I will return.

Steve is going to be sad. Ok, that's a major understatement. He won't understand why I have to break his heart. I hate the thought of being away from him. Especially now. But I can't take him with me. Earth needs him right now. He's not just Steve, he's Captain America and he belongs here. I won't be gone forever, if I can get back. Please comfort him like you comforted me. He will need a friend. Don't let him shut himself up like I know he will try. Tell him I love him. I do.

Please give him the box that's sitting on my bed. It a bunch of History Channel specials on DVD that will help him get caught up on what's happened since his accident. My ipod has music from every decade he missed as well as a pretty extensive selection of swing from the 30s and 40s. You might have to help him with the DVD player and the ipod.

God, I'm sorry. I know this is horrible. I am so sorry. Please try to understand. You are the sister I never knew; you are beautiful and strong and I know I will see you again.

Don't me mad.

For too long.

I love you, Anouk,

Gersemi/Siri

The End

Oh God. Do you guys hate me yet? I know Steve does. I'm sorry Steve!

Think of it this way: The next Avenger's movie is Thor, and now Siri can be there for what happens there. The next Captain America movie will definitely not have Siri in it for obvious reasons, and this explains why. Do you see now what I had to do it? Plus it was all Siri's idea. I am blaming her.

I have been cast in another show and will have rehearsals five days a week as well as work, so I probably won't have a ton of writing time. I will be writing the next part of Siri's story, so look for that in the future. In the meanwhile, keep reading/writing and being awesome, and know that I love you, my fellow Avengers.

-Coy