I was running from the Empire again when I first saw him. He was standing in an alley, appearing to be about seven, and looking very frightened. I ran towards him. We were battling here for the star's sake! Didn't his parents know to get him out of the way?
I bent down and scooped him up, continuing my retreat. All around me, other rebels were racing back the way we had come. There was no hope for this battle. Not until the fighter ships arrived at least.
Now that was where I belonged. I should be up in a ship, shooting down at the Imperials, not running from them with a newly acquired little kid.
Finally, I managed to roll behind a large outcropping of stone, holding him close against myself, safe from the firing and the ground. He looked understandably confused, staring up at me as though somewhat frightened. However, he held himself as tall as he could, and intelligence shone behind his blue eyes.
When he finally spoke, he was far calmer than I had thought he would be, and he didn't stutter about what was going on. Instead, his first words to me were, "Who are you?"
I was rather disconcerted by the way he fixed his eyes on me and didn't blink. And his tone was far more condescending than I was expecting from a child whose life I'd just saved. I decided not to answer.
"What were you doing in the middle of a battle? Don't your parents have the sense to get you out of the way?"
For a moment, he looked embarrassed, and he turned his head away a little bit. I felt rather smug that he was listening to me, and was abashed by his lack of fear. The feeling died in my chest when he said quietly, "I don't have parents."
Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"
He shook his head and sat down on the ground before me. "I remember my mother. Your kind killed her."
"I'm sorry." I said, now feeling thoroughly guilty, though it was unlikely that it had been me.
"They came and took me away and then I couldn't protect her anymore. It's all their fault."
"But we don't try to do that. It's the Empire that does that kind of thing."
"Not always. They took care of me until you came to make them go away. I was safe. But now I'm not."
"Hey, kid. Look, I just saved you. When they start firing, they don't care who they hit. They hit my family. They were just farmers. They never did anything wrong, but the firing started, and they were in the middle."
"Okay. Fine. Not your fault. I get it."
"Our fighters will be here soon and then the Empire will be driven back. They won't come back for you. Would you like to come with Alliance?"
"Yeah. Okay. I guess they didn't mean to hurt my mommy. They were just trying to keep me safe."
"That's better. Now we can get along." I told him. "What's your name?"
"Ani."
"Is that short for something?"
He crossed his arms. "You tell me your name first."
"I'm Luke."
"My name is Anakin. My mommy called me Ani."
I nodded at him. "All right, so you'd like me to call you Ani?"
"Yeah, sure."
I turned away slightly, recent memories being dragged painfully up in me, "My father's name was Anakin."
He looked interested in that, "He was? Isn't he anymore?"
"I'm not sure." I said, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to hold back the chill that came every time I thought of the- encounter, at Cloud City.
A loud explosion sounded on the other side of the rock. Ani looked rather frightened, "Are you sure we're far enough away?" he asked nervously.
"No, not really. Come on, your legs aren't long enough to keep up." I grabbed him again and stood up, racing away from our hiding place.
I made it back to the transport we'd come down in and carried Ani up the ramp, walking into the soldier's seating area. Ani sat patiently on my lap as the transport started to fill. I got several strange looks, and finally explained myself to everyone who'd already boarded. Then the strange looks were turned away as they began to talk amongst themselves, taking roll call, finding out who'd been killed.
Ani wrapped his arms around me and leaned against my chest, letting out a small sigh.
"You're safe now, Ani. Go ahead and sleep. I'll wake you when we get back to the base."
He sighed again and pulled himself up to rest his chin on my shoulder. Then his expression slowly softened, and he fell asleep.
The flight back to the Alliance base was somber as many had discovered that their friends and family were not making the return trip with us. Leia wasn't on board, but she hadn't been among the foot soldiers. She had taken the Falcon in, leading the aerial assault. I just hoped it had gone better than those of us who went in on foot.
When the ship landed in the hanger, however, I was relieved to see the Falcon sitting in her place, looking as serenely patched-together as ever. Leia waited impatiently at the foot of the ramp, so I woke Ani.
"Ani? We've arrived. It's time to leave the shuttle."
He blinked up at me for a couple of seconds, looking almost hostile, before he seemed to remember who I was. Then he sat back up and smiled at me.
"Okay." He hopped off my lap and took my hand, leading me down the ramp. Once we were clear of the throng of people, I took him over to Leia.
"Luke? Who's this?" Leia asked, kneeling to greet Ani.
"My name's Anakin."
Leia looked up at me questioningly. "Anakin?"
I rolled my eyes at her, "That's not the only reason I took him in."
It was Ani's turn to look at me oddly. "You mean that was a bit of it?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, he was my father. That would affect me a little." I shrugged and tried to shrink back into the crowd a bit. Luckily, Leia grabbed me before they could actually drag me away.
Ani was still looking me with that odd, intelligent questioning. It was thoroughly disturbing now. I moved his head a few degrees to the right with one hand.
"Please don't stare at me like that."
"Sorry." Ani gave a shrug. Then he seemed to forget all about it, "I'm hungry." He said, quite loudly.
I was glad of the interruption, because Leia was still looking at me like she was very disappointed. I took Ani's hand again and led him off towards my quarters. When we reached the personal barracks, he looked up at me, confused.
"This is where the people sleep, isn't it?"
"Yes." I nodded, unsure what he was getting at.
"But this isn't where you get food, is it?"
I laughed, "Oh, Ani. The Alliance may offer free food, but it's more of a threat! No, if you want to survive your meal, you'll want some of the food I've bought. Trust me on that."
He nodded serenely, "Oh."
"Here we are." I told him, leading him into my quarters.
Ani looked around at everything, seeming slightly disappointed.
"Isn't it up to your standards?" I asked, then proceeded to give him a heavily sarcastic overview of all the negative features of the space, with the most positive spin possible.
He laughed. He laughed so hard I was afraid that he'd fall right over. Just to be safe, I scooped him up and placed him on my bed.
He calmed down a bit, finally, and moved to the edge of the bed, kicking absently at the cupboards underneath. I went to find him some food. A short time later, after much searching, I had managed to create a meal that amounted to a granola bar, two cookies, and an almost-ripe piece of unidentifiable fruit. I handed the mess to him.
"I guess it's about time I went shopping, huh?"
"Yeah." Ani said, taking a bite out of the fruit and making a face. "Definitely."
"Oh, that's gone bad?" I asked, concerned.
"Uh-huh. Really bad."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't tell. It wasn't ripe enough to tell. Not much of an excuse I guess."
"Nope." He shook his head.
"Try the granola bar. Those shouldn't be able to go bad."
He took a bite and didn't gag, so I waited for him to continue eating. He did, and I was able to relax for a few moments.
"So, what're you going to do now?"
"What?"
"What are you going to do now? You can stay here, or you can go off and try to make your own way in the galaxy, or I can even take you back to the Empire."
"You'd do that?"
"If it's what you want. I'd really rather not, though. I've gotten pretty attached to you already."
"You have?"
"Yeah. I wouldn't want to take you back to my enemy, that's for sure."
He gave me a huge smile. "I think I'll stay here for a while. I like it. You don't tell me what to do."
"I've got no right to give you orders." I shrugged.
"No one has got the right. But lots of people want to."
"People are such a bunch of control freaks." I joked.
"Yeah. They are." He said loudly, with much conviction.
"I was kind of… joking." I trailed off.
"But they are? Aren't they? The Empire just wants to control everyone, right? An' the whole reason for war is that people want to control more?"
"Yeah, pretty much." I nodded.
"See? People are control freaks." He gave a sharp nod.
"Yes, I suppose they are."
"Is somethin' wrong?" He asked me around a mouthful of food.
"It's okay. It's not your fault."
"But I wanna know if you're okay! I want you to be okay!"
"I'm sorry, but there's really nothing you can do about it. I just had a… run-in with the Empire recently. It was a little more personal than I was expecting. I'd rather not think about it, okay?"
He looked at me worriedly, but he nodded, ever so slowly. "Okay, but I don't want you to be upset. You shouldn't hafta be. Nobody should hafta be."
"You're right. Okay, there's one thing you can do to help. Come here."
He looked extremely confused.
"I just need a hug." I told him, holding out my arms.
"Okay." He came forwards and embraced me.
I held him, and felt tears start to trickle down my cheeks. He was a so cute, just a young boy. I had been even smaller when my father had left me to rule an Empire. I didn't see the attraction there, but holding a small child was so comforting, how could anyone leave their child? How could he leave me? How could he look at having a child, and leaving the child behind to enforce an Empire, and choose the Empire? What had I done wrong? Had I been a biter when I was tiny? Had I just nibbled on him once too often? But, no, that was ridiculous. He wouldn't abandon me for that. What would be worse? Knowing he'd abandoned me for nothing, or knowing that he abandoned me for a normal behaviour?
I shook my head. I wouldn't think about that. Not now that I seemed to have adopted Ani. Much to my horror, Ani looked up at me suddenly, taking in my tear streaked face.
"It was bad, wasn't it? What they did?"
"Yes." I nodded slowly.
"How bad?"
"Can we just say that they tore my life apart and leave it there?"
"No. What did they do? They hurt you. I hate them for hurting you. I hate them! You didn't deserve it!" He was crying now too.
"Don't cry! Please, don't cry. Look, I'll tell you. Just promise you won't cry."
"Can I be mad for you?" He asked shakily.
"I guess. Just don't cry."
"Okay, I promise."
"I said the Empire caught my family in the crossfire, right? That they were just farmers? Well, that wasn't my biological family. It was my aunt and uncle, who raised me. I was always told I was an orphan. But then, I went into battle against Darth Vader, who I'd been told killed my parents, and he claimed to be my father." I spoke in a rush, wanting to get all the words out before I could start to cry again.
"He- he did?"
"Yes. Right after he severed my arm." I rolled up my sleeve and showed Ani where the prosthetic joined with my real arm.
"What a jerk!" Ani yelled.
"Shh, shh, it's okay. I don't want everyone else to know. He's my father, and I'm not sure I can work out how I feel about that, even without their input."
"How do you think you feel about it?"
"I'm not sure. In a way, I'm glad that he's alive, and, if not well, at least stable. I guess I'm glad he told me. But I really wish he'd done more than just tell me, maybe let it affect him in some way. It would have been nice if he'd come with me instead of forcing me to run for my life from him. But it wasn't perfect. Things never are. Except you. You are impossibly perfect, Ani."
His eyes filled with tears. "Do you really believe that? Do you really think I'm perfect?"
"Yes, I do. Why?"
"Because I'm a lie. Luke, it's me. Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader. I came so I could know you. And now I do."
I spun back to face the little blonde boy sitting beside me as he morphed into a young man, and disappeared.
"Wait! Don't go! Please… don't go." He was gone, but I kept speaking, "Don't leave me alone again."