Hi! It's me again, with a much speedier update than the year y'all waiting for ch30! A huge thanks to everyone who returned to this story after the ridiculous wait, and to all of you who are just undertaking this ride with us. Much love to you all.

No beta for this chapter, so all mistakes are mine.

Disclaimer – Still don't own the characters or make any money from them.

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Twenty tense minutes later, the irritating witch announced her findings.

Apparently, though the cloaking spell did indeed hide the scent and heartbeats of my children, there were no guarantees that it would continue to do so as the pregnancy progressed.

"So we run," Sookie sighed dejectedly, her gorgeous eyes finding mine.

"It would appear so," I agreed with a curt nod.

"Not necessarily," Amelia said offhandedly as she continued to thumb through her spell book.

"Explain," I barked, eager for hopeful news.

"I should contact my mentor just to be certain, but I'm sure we can come up with a spell that would not only hide the scents and heartbeats of the children, but the actual physical aspects of the pregnancy as well. Would it be acceptable for me to contact Octavia?" she asked respectfully.

"Absolutely," Sookie enthusiastically agreed.

"Do you even stop to consider your answers before they come flying out of that pretty mouth of yours," my progeny scolded my mate. "You don't know squat about this mentor of Amelia's and yet you agree to blab your incredibly important se-cret to her? Without consulting your mate? Tsk, tsk, Sookie… you might be blonde, but I never took you for stupid."

I was instantly furious at my child for her patronizing tone and condescending words toward my mate. How dare she? I raged. But before I could dole out punishment, Sookie surprised me once again.

"You are absolutely right, Pammy. I didn't stop to think at all," she apologized before turning to me. "I was so desperate for answers, so happy for a way to remain in Louisiana, that I didn't stop to think of the risks. Forgive me, Eric? Some mother I am already, huh?" she asked with a sad, watery-eyed smile.

Her demure apology and obvious distress was an immediate cure for my ire toward Pamela.

"You sweet, ridiculous girl," I all-but-cooed, suddenly oblivious to the other females in the room. "You've been aware of the pregnancy for so little time; did you expect to become mother of the year in a matter of minutes? I am quite used to you rushing into situations head-long with little-to-no regard for your safety, so there is nothing to forgive. But perhaps now that you are carrying such precious cargo, you could start to consider your options before swan-diving into shit?" I smirked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Smartass," my lover sassed me, making my dick stir yet again.

"You love my ass," I teased. Turning to my progeny, I intended to finally address her treatment of my mate when Sookie stopped me again.

"Don't you dare give my Pammy any shit, mister!" Sookie snapped, all the while jabbing me in the chest with an extended finger. "She was perfectly right in everything she said, and she's always a snarky-bitch, so you can't get pissy with her for that. You made her what she is, after all. So cool your jets, buddy, and let's figure out what to do about the babies, shall we?" she offered in her sweetest southern-belle tone as she settled back into the sofa.

I decided reminding Sookie that Pamela was actually mine was pointless, and would likely only degrade my manhood further when she was able to convince me that I had signed over rights to my progeny at some point I had now forgotten. Likely while she was blowing my brains out with her hot little mouth, or while I was balls deep inside her tight heat. Either way, what my little fae wanted, she inevitably got.

Too bad I couldn't sign over Pam's shopping expenses to my mate along with ownership. That would save my yearly budget a metric fuck-ton.

Alas, I simply placed a gentle kiss to Sookie's temple and gave my consent for the witch to contact Octavia. I had worked with her several times in the past and was more than pleased with not only her discretion, but her results as well.

Miss Broadway quickly called her mentor and thankfully the elder-witch could arrive in the morning to meet with Sookie before noon. She had agreed to wait around until sunset so that her visit could be glamoured away, not knowing that she'd be meeting with more than just Sookie and Amelia in a few short hours.

After making arrangements with my child for their next "visit", the obnoxious young witch was finally ready to be glamoured and take her leave. I did the original reshuffling of her memories in record time, as I was more than happy to be rid of her for the night. I allowed for her to remember everything that occurred this evening, provided no other vampire questioned her about it. In that event, the memories would disappear until the threat was removed or she was killed.

Sookie, of course, did me one better.

My mate entered the witch's mind and ensured that no other person besides the three of us in the room with her now would be able to access this information under any circumstances, even torture. Sookie also made the provision that she could discuss the situation with her mentor, but only in person and only if she was certain Octavia was not under duress or another's control at the time.

Once again, my mate amazed me with her wit and power.

And, once again, I was reminded that my head needed to be focused on their safety instead of my moony-eyed feelings.

I was, in a word, pathetic.

"Thank you, lover, for ensuring the safety of yourself and our children. I apologize that I did not think to include the other provisions in with my glamour. I have failed you, again."

"Oh hush with that nonsense, you," she scolded me without a hint of humor. "You haven't failed anything. I'm sure your glamour would have been more than enough, but we've seen before than my mental kung-fu is pretty handy to have as backup. I just figured an extra layer of protection couldn't hurt."

"It most definitely could not," I agreed, smiling as she attacked my lips in a vigorous kiss.

"Are we gonna call that mean ol' doctor now?" she asked with a pout. "I know it's necessary, but she really is atrocious."

"Yes, as loathsome as she can be, she is the best at what she does. It would benefit us to contact her tonight if you are willing," I offered. Giving Sookie a choice in as many things as possible would undoubtedly make both our lives easier as the pregnancy progressed.

"Do it up, Pammy. Get that little troll, brownie, goblin… whatever, over here as soon as you can," my mate ordered my child. "And next time, try not to be quite such a bitch to me, dear. I know I'm a bonehead sometimes, but your reminders could use some help."

"Blame your baby-daddy, sugar-tits. It's entirely his fault I'm such a hard, emotionless bitch," my progeny pouted. "He's so gruff, and demanding. And he never spends enough money on me. I'm just so deprived," she whined the last two words in a tone I desperately prayed I would never hear again.

"Oh you poor, pauper-girl, Pammy," I whined back in a most patronizing tone. "Who could have guessed that getting the entire collection of every major designer's seasonal lines each year wouldn't be enough? Not to mention the countless shoes you've raped my credit cards with! What a horrible maker I am that your clothes budget per year is more than the national debt! I apologize for my truly heinous behavior… yeah… I cannot do it. Quit your bitching, you epic clothes-whore, and get that doctor over here NOW, before you find yourself shopping at Walmart and the Salvation Army for the next three centuries."

You would have thought I lit her ass on fire; she was out of the room and on the phone so quickly. It was but seconds before she whizzed back into the room informing us that Ludwig would be here within the hour. My honest threat seemed to have done the trick, since Pamela excused herself to begin shopping for "her twins" without so much as a raised eyebrow in our direction.

"You're a shit, you know that, right?" Sookie snickered as she curled into my chest. "If y'all could dream, I bet she'd be having nightmares for years about Hanes sweats and smelly, used pumps."

"And that cumdumpster crone at Walmart, as well! Chasing me around with pleather, velour, and corduroy flying from her hands like webbing!" Pam yelled from downstairs, making Sookie and I roar with laughter.

"Pussy at the Piggly Wiggly, and Cumdumpsters at Walmart… who'd have thunk it," I cackled with the worst southern drawl I could muster. "What could be next?"

"Jesus, Lord above! Don't ask! Who the hell knows what else'll pop up if you tempt fate!" she chuckled.

"Valid point, my love," I conceded with a smile.

"We're really gonna be parents, Eric. I know I keep coming back to that, but really? Who the heck thought this would be possible?" she whispered.

"Agreed, it is most unexpected. Though in my wildest dreams, I could not have asked for anything more wondrous," I admitted in the same quiet tone.

Our lips had just found one another's when an all-too-familiar "pop" signified the good doctor's arrival.

"What the fuck is the rush this time, Northman? You think you and your fairy friend here are my only patients?" Doctor Ludwig barked, instantly turning my mood to shit.

"Listen lady," my mate began, hopping up from the couch directly into the doctor's face. I could feel through our bond that she was gearing up for a bitching-out of immense proportions. "I don't know who the heck you think you are, but it's not like you're doing this job out of the kindness of whatever shriveled up heart you still own in that body! My man pays you good money to come here and care for me, and I don't think that your tone and shitty attitude are necessary. Obviously we needed you if we called because Lord knows we didn't ring you up to enjoy your company. So how 'bout you put a fuckin' sock in it and do your damn job!"

"Oh, I like her an awful lot, vampire!" Ludwig smiled.

FUCKING. SMILED!

I never dreamed I would see the day.

I had once paid her thirty million for a single visit, and the old hag did not even smirk.

Yet, she smiled at my mate's fire.

Armageddon had arrived. I was sure of it.

I was tempted to go outside and check for hoards of locust, flies or frogs. Perhaps burning bushes?

W-O-W…

"She's got some sass to her! And she's smart enough not to have her head completely up your ass. Not like those simpering sycophants you have clamoring after you at that club of yours. This here is a real lady, Northman, and you damn well better treat her as such! She's special, this one," she continued to speak to me as if my mate wasn't in the room not a foot from her.

"SHE is standing right frickin' here, Doctor. So how 'bout y'all stop actin' like I'm not here?" she seethed as she flung herself back onto the cushions. "Now y'all went and made me dizzy," Sookie whined.

"Are you alright, my love?" I asked as I pulled her into my lap. "Are the babies okay?"

"Babies?" the doctor gasped. "Is that what I fucking smell? Well no shit! Good for you, you blonde rule-breakers, you!"

"Fucking Amelia! You're not supposed to be able to smell them!" Sookie yelled.

I'm going to kill that fucking witch, Pam and her sexual desires be damned!

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I know it's a bit shorter than y'all probably want, but I wanted to end it here so that I could update sooner. I'll update again very soon! Promise!

Love and hugs to all – thanks for taking this journey with me!